You, the accused - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

petergriffin24 · 07-22-2003, 09:58 AM

It couldn't have been me for I was up late last night looking for my own freshly made batch of said acid.

I was just wondering who left all the friggin balloon animals on my back porch????????????/

Pheatius · 07-23-2003, 01:36 PM

Peter, be careful those ballon animals are steaking out your place. They are waiting for you to leave and then they are going to strip your place clean. They hit Uncle Phil's last week, they even took his second M Monroe avatar.

uncle phil · 07-23-2003, 04:15 PM

so what happened to you, pheatius?

grumpyolddude · 07-23-2003, 05:25 PM

I had a gas attack. And stop calling me Pheatius!

Who tried to kill this wonderful thread?

Fremen · 07-24-2003, 04:20 AM

Not I or my little dog, too. (Dorothy did it, the slut)

Who adjusted my presets on my game-controller?

Pheatius · 07-24-2003, 10:38 AM

Unless you are suggesting that when I crushed the controller by backing over it with my truck I somehow changed your presets, it could not have possibly been me.

...

Who stole the rest of my post yesterday?

uncle phil · 07-24-2003, 12:42 PM

wasn't me; i tried to look for it but ended up drinking bourbon instead...

where's the pizza?

BonesCPA · 07-24-2003, 01:25 PM

Don't look at me. I hate anchovies and pineapple. (Damn, how do you eat that stuff?)

OK, who brought the doggie?

Fremen · 07-24-2003, 10:44 PM

Farley did it. He likes the attention.

Where did you put the toupee, Gladys?

anndifidoo · 07-24-2003, 10:51 PM

my sister put the toupee on her baby, its posted on teh web so i have proof, if you send mee4895$ uS pounds sterling i will embargo all your base and provide a COA...

But why have all you people ruined the career and reputation of Jeniifer Love Hewitt?? that girl is so=o talented.. what's wrong with you people??

TwistedFate · 07-24-2003, 11:34 PM

It's all part of my plan to make her love me by taking away everything good in her life. I'll look like a real catch once she hits rock bottom.

Now why is your cat acting like my monkey?

uncle phil · 07-25-2003, 12:36 PM

i guess my cat is horny; want me to shoot it?

ok, who's got the beer barrel?

Fremen · 07-25-2003, 07:19 PM

Bones took it! Bones took it!

Where is my midget mallet!?!

uncle phil · 07-26-2003, 12:22 PM

that teeny, tiny thing? fly's running around with it looking for midgets...

anybody seen last month's "hemmings?"

grumpyolddude · 07-27-2003, 07:31 AM

I was looking for a bumper for a '54 Caddy Cabriolet, then I lent it to Big Shirley. She likes to lick the pictures.

Who told my wife about the Titty Board?

uncle phil · 07-27-2003, 12:43 PM

fremen did it; i get bccs of all his e-mail...

ok, who's got a buck for the jukebox? (thought i was going to say "nickel" didn't you, grump...)

grumpyolddude · 07-27-2003, 01:14 PM

Ain't it curious... The old songs were worth a buck, but cost a nickel, and the new songs cost a buck but ain't worth a nickel!
Anyway, hit up Fremen for the buck. He's the guy with the pantomime piano and the tip jar.

I set my gimlet down for a sec and it disappeared. Who took it?

Fremen · 07-27-2003, 09:12 PM

Charles Nelson Reilly took it. Hey!! What kind of bar is this?

When did you take my Weenie dog?

07-27-2003, 09:17 PM

I never took your weenie dog, but I did spot several ninjas clinging to the ceiling above it...

And while we're on the subject, who stole my grappling hook, used it to get on my roof, and then took a crap down the chimney?

uncle phil · 07-28-2003, 12:41 PM

bones is always doing shit like that...

ok, any bourbon left in the back of that cabinet?

dogma13554u · 07-28-2003, 06:08 PM

well phil,
I know you're a recovering alcoholic, so when i saw the burbon, I thought to myslf, "I have to drink that all, to help phil."

Now the real question is, who changed all the settings on my alarm clock?

snoop · 07-28-2003, 06:48 PM

Needed something to make shit on toast for the ex . . *ha ha*

Don't seem to be able to find my camera tho . . . . OK WHO TOOK MY FRIGGIN CAMERA !!!!

Midlandmadman · 07-29-2003, 07:57 AM

I took your camera.......................but only to borrow........ I needed it to take pictures of the damage some one did to my door.... with a hammer..

uncle phil · 07-29-2003, 12:29 PM

i wasn't anywhere near your door when that hammer mystically flew out of my hand in a michiganly direction...

found the bourbon...thanks, dogma, for saving me some...now, where did the ice disappear to...

Fremen · 07-29-2003, 12:57 PM

Ooops, I took the ice to use in my ice-bath. It's frikkin hot here!

Who moved my cheese?

BonesCPA · 07-29-2003, 12:58 PM

It was blocking the doorway. You know, the mice were complaining - they don't like the welfare cheese you have.

Now I know someone in here has eaten all of the candy. Couldn't you have refilled the bowl?

sub zero · 07-29-2003, 03:22 PM

nah, then i would've had to eat that too

now who stole my fucking bandwidth!!! god damnit i'm getting sloow download speeds!

grumpyolddude · 07-29-2003, 06:46 PM

AOL, huh?

Somebody's been keeping the old lady smiling. I've been meaning to thank him. Who is it?

TwistedFate · 07-29-2003, 09:13 PM

Well, I was hoping we cold keep it our little secret, but you're welcome.

I see you knocked over the fishtank again.

BonesCPA · 07-30-2003, 08:44 AM

I can explain - when I was passing by, I saw that the scuba man was getting molested by your frog again. He wasn't looking happy. So I figured I would get the frog to move over to the treasure chest and have his way with that. But then the frog jumped onto my finger...long story short, the scuba man, the treasure chest, the frog and my finger all ended up on the floor. It was like I was in slow motion.

Anyway, that still doesn't make up for whoever ran their mouth off about that party last weekend. What exactly did you tell everyone?

SpoilSport · 07-30-2003, 08:59 AM

I not only did not tell any one about any party, I was not aware of any party - I spent the entire weekends helping nuns babysit orphans. They even took pictures to send to the newspaper.

Who's keeps gluing all the Cap'n Crunch Cereal to the cat??!?

GSRIDER · 07-30-2003, 10:21 AM

Ah, it may please the court to hear from witness Frickles the Cat

Frickles: Meow Meow meeeooow me ow ow meee ow mm meeoww oooowww phit phit

Ah, so it is my understanding that you found yourself around a bowl of captain crunch

Frickles: Meeow

And the said bowl of captain crunch was filled with milk and you decieded to take a lick? And that is when you slipped and fell into the bowl of captain crunch and hence.... need I say more your honor.

-------------------------

You, yes you.... why did you piss on the toilet seat and not have the common courtisy to clean it up?

uncle phil · 07-30-2003, 01:34 PM

she told me it was because of her rash...

now are you going to let me out?

Fremen · 07-30-2003, 03:27 PM

I didn't put you in there. I don't know what you did and I don't know what you would do if I did let you out, so I'll let you stew in there for a while more.

Who filled my shotgun with cheese-doodles?

tritium · 07-30-2003, 04:45 PM

No, I wasn't the one to put cheese doodles in your shotgun. I was the one who put them in your hair, not the shotgun...

So, who is responsible for the butt cheek marks on the photocopier glass?

SpoilSport · 07-30-2003, 04:47 PM

Those are not my buttcheek marks on the copier. Mine are on the frige door, and they clearly do not match.

Who's been licking the ashtrays?!!?

Fremen · 07-30-2003, 04:49 PM

That would be me. My minerals are low.

Who squealed to the fuzz!?

tritium · 07-30-2003, 04:55 PM

My bad. I thought I called the pizza dude.

Who shot JFK?

tritium · 07-30-2003, 04:56 PM

I did but my magic bullet was faulty.

How lowered my shields and damaged my warp drive?

twotimesadingo · 07-30-2003, 04:56 PM

*EDIT* Bah, I'm slow!

*ORIGINAL* Certainly wasn't me; I'm too young to be employed by the FBI.

But the real question here is who killed Bob Hope?

07-23-2003, 04:15 PM	#83 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	so what happened to you, pheatius? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-23-2003, 05:25 PM	#84 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	I had a gas attack. And stop calling me Pheatius! Who tried to kill this wonderful thread? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-24-2003, 04:20 AM	#85 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Not I or my little dog, too. (Dorothy did it, the slut) Who adjusted my presets on my game-controller? __________________ Google

07-24-2003, 12:42 PM	#87 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	wasn't me; i tried to look for it but ended up drinking bourbon instead... where's the pizza? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-24-2003, 01:25 PM	#88 (permalink)
BonesCPA No. It's not done yet. Location: sorta kinda phila	Don't look at me. I hate anchovies and pineapple. (Damn, how do you eat that stuff?) OK, who brought the doggie? __________________ Back into hibernation.

07-22-2003, 09:58 AM	#81 (permalink)
petergriffin24 Insane	It couldn't have been me for I was up late last night looking for my own freshly made batch of said acid. I was just wondering who left all the friggin balloon animals on my back porch????????????/

07-23-2003, 01:36 PM	#82 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	Peter, be careful those ballon animals are steaking out your place. They are waiting for you to leave and then they are going to strip your place clean. They hit Uncle Phil's last week, they even took his second M Monroe avatar.

07-24-2003, 10:38 AM	#86 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	Unless you are suggesting that when I crushed the controller by backing over it with my truck I somehow changed your presets, it could not have possibly been me. ... Who stole the rest of my post yesterday?

07-24-2003, 10:44 PM	#89 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Farley did it. He likes the attention. Where did you put the toupee, Gladys? __________________ Google

07-24-2003, 10:51 PM	#90 (permalink)
anndifidoo Upright Location: NE where west of worcester	my sister put the toupee on her baby, its posted on teh web so i have proof, if you send mee4895$ uS pounds sterling i will embargo all your base and provide a COA... But why have all you people ruined the career and reputation of Jeniifer Love Hewitt?? that girl is so=o talented.. what's wrong with you people??

07-24-2003, 11:34 PM	#91 (permalink)
TwistedFate Crazy	It's all part of my plan to make her love me by taking away everything good in her life. I'll look like a real catch once she hits rock bottom. Now why is your cat acting like my monkey? __________________ If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

07-25-2003, 12:36 PM	#92 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	i guess my cat is horny; want me to shoot it? ok, who's got the beer barrel? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-25-2003, 07:19 PM	#93 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Bones took it! Bones took it! Where is my midget mallet!?! __________________ Google

07-26-2003, 12:22 PM	#94 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	that teeny, tiny thing? fly's running around with it looking for midgets... anybody seen last month's "hemmings?" __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-27-2003, 07:31 AM	#95 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	I was looking for a bumper for a '54 Caddy Cabriolet, then I lent it to Big Shirley. She likes to lick the pictures. Who told my wife about the Titty Board? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-27-2003, 12:43 PM	#96 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	fremen did it; i get bccs of all his e-mail... ok, who's got a buck for the jukebox? (thought i was going to say "nickel" didn't you, grump...) __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-27-2003, 01:14 PM	#97 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Ain't it curious... The old songs were worth a buck, but cost a nickel, and the new songs cost a buck but ain't worth a nickel! Anyway, hit up Fremen for the buck. He's the guy with the pantomime piano and the tip jar. I set my gimlet down for a sec and it disappeared. Who took it? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-27-2003, 09:12 PM	#98 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Charles Nelson Reilly took it. Hey!! What kind of bar is this? When did you take my Weenie dog? __________________ Google

07-27-2003, 09:17 PM	#99 (permalink)
JohnnyCorpse Guest	I never took your weenie dog, but I did spot several ninjas clinging to the ceiling above it... And while we're on the subject, who stole my grappling hook, used it to get on my roof, and then took a crap down the chimney?

07-28-2003, 12:41 PM	#100 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	bones is always doing shit like that... ok, any bourbon left in the back of that cabinet? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-28-2003, 06:08 PM	#101 (permalink)
dogma13554u Crazy	well phil, I know you're a recovering alcoholic, so when i saw the burbon, I thought to myslf, "I have to drink that all, to help phil." Now the real question is, who changed all the settings on my alarm clock?

07-28-2003, 06:48 PM	#102 (permalink)
snoop Insane	Needed something to make shit on toast for the ex . . ha ha Don't seem to be able to find my camera tho . . . . OK WHO TOOK MY FRIGGIN CAMERA !!!! __________________ ------------------------------------------------ Insert Witty Slogan Here . . . . .

07-29-2003, 07:57 AM	#103 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	I took your camera.......................but only to borrow........ I needed it to take pictures of the damage some one did to my door.... with a hammer.. __________________ Its good to be back.

07-29-2003, 12:29 PM	#104 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	i wasn't anywhere near your door when that hammer mystically flew out of my hand in a michiganly direction... found the bourbon...thanks, dogma, for saving me some...now, where did the ice disappear to... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-29-2003, 12:57 PM	#105 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Ooops, I took the ice to use in my ice-bath. It's frikkin hot here! Who moved my cheese? __________________ Google

07-29-2003, 12:58 PM	#106 (permalink)
BonesCPA No. It's not done yet. Location: sorta kinda phila	It was blocking the doorway. You know, the mice were complaining - they don't like the welfare cheese you have. Now I know someone in here has eaten all of the candy. Couldn't you have refilled the bowl? __________________ Back into hibernation.

07-29-2003, 03:22 PM	#107 (permalink)
sub zero Addict Location: The one state that doesn't have black outs: TEXAS BABY!!!	nah, then i would've had to eat that too now who stole my fucking bandwidth!!! god damnit i'm getting sloow download speeds! __________________ Did you Google it yet? Join the TFP Typing team!!

07-29-2003, 06:46 PM	#108 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	AOL, huh? Somebody's been keeping the old lady smiling. I've been meaning to thank him. Who is it? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-29-2003, 09:13 PM	#109 (permalink)
TwistedFate Crazy	Well, I was hoping we cold keep it our little secret, but you're welcome. I see you knocked over the fishtank again. __________________ If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

07-30-2003, 08:44 AM	#110 (permalink)
BonesCPA No. It's not done yet. Location: sorta kinda phila	I can explain - when I was passing by, I saw that the scuba man was getting molested by your frog again. He wasn't looking happy. So I figured I would get the frog to move over to the treasure chest and have his way with that. But then the frog jumped onto my finger...long story short, the scuba man, the treasure chest, the frog and my finger all ended up on the floor. It was like I was in slow motion. Anyway, that still doesn't make up for whoever ran their mouth off about that party last weekend. What exactly did you tell everyone? __________________ Back into hibernation.

07-30-2003, 08:59 AM	#111 (permalink)
SpoilSport Tilted Location: US, East Coast. Blah.	I not only did not tell any one about any party, I was not aware of any party - I spent the entire weekends helping nuns babysit orphans. They even took pictures to send to the newspaper. Who's keeps gluing all the Cap'n Crunch Cereal to the cat??!?

07-30-2003, 10:21 AM	#112 (permalink)
GSRIDER spurt king Location: Out of my mind	Ah, it may please the court to hear from witness Frickles the Cat Frickles: Meow Meow meeeooow me ow ow meee ow mm meeoww oooowww phit phit Ah, so it is my understanding that you found yourself around a bowl of captain crunch Frickles: Meeow And the said bowl of captain crunch was filled with milk and you decieded to take a lick? And that is when you slipped and fell into the bowl of captain crunch and hence.... need I say more your honor. ------------------------- You, yes you.... why did you piss on the toilet seat and not have the common courtisy to clean it up? __________________ No signature at this time.

07-30-2003, 01:34 PM	#113 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	she told me it was because of her rash... now are you going to let me out? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-30-2003, 03:27 PM	#114 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I didn't put you in there. I don't know what you did and I don't know what you would do if I did let you out, so I'll let you stew in there for a while more. Who filled my shotgun with cheese-doodles? __________________ Google

07-30-2003, 04:45 PM	#115 (permalink)
tritium Professor of Drinkology	No, I wasn't the one to put cheese doodles in your shotgun. I was the one who put them in your hair, not the shotgun... So, who is responsible for the butt cheek marks on the photocopier glass?