You, the accused
 

So, I decided while brushing my teeth that we needed a new game on this board.

Each post will consist of a ridiculous but airtight alibi, and a ridiculous accusation. It doesn't ahve to be a crime, just goofy. Give your alibi, then accuse the next poster of something.

Can't find your pants? Accuse someone. Car broke down? the next guy to post may have poured sugar in your gas tank.


Whoever gets here next is the one that stashed my cell phone under my bed for the past two weeks. My box spring is directly on the floor, now frame, no space underneath. that's why foul play was involved, and you did it.

While I admit that your mom and I were bouncing the box spring pretty well a coupla weeks ago, I never, ever saw your cell phone, let alone touch it. Ask your ma. It was probably one of her other customers.


BTW....

I know you were into my Penthouse collection! Those pages were never stuck together before! Admit it, you scumbag!

I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar ;)

And erhm... yes, I'll just admit it straight up, I unloaded in your Penthouse magazines.

But you peed on my backpack!

It wasn't me, I was the one who pooed on your backpack. Seriously, if I wanted to pee on your backpack I would have. But I think I may know who did it.


WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Who licked my stamp?!

Yes, our friends in the Playground picked it for me.:cool:
I've got more shots of Walter that I intend to alternate.

It wasn't bloody me, i haven't even got a tounge.


Alright, who ripped the aerial off my car?

I licked your stamp. I wanted to kill myself and after watching a particular episode of Seinfeld, I thought that "death by cheap glue" seemed a good way to go. Unfortunatley, you only had one, and it only gave me a mild buzz.

But what I REALLY want to know is...who cut the hole in the watermellon that I had in the fridge????

um. maybe it was your girlfriend

why did you give me all these goddamn popups!

I swear I didn't give you pop-ups, but I have been sending you tons of emails telling you how to get rid of them.

I know you called me this 'morning' at 3pm breathing heavily into the phone.

Honest to God, it wasn't me doing the breathing...I hung up before you answered.


Here's what I want to know, you moron. Why did you cut me off on my way to work yesterday?

'cause you were hogging the turn lane, dipstick...not the right thing to do in the can of worms...


ok, who's got my corvette keys?

I didn't take 'em, but i seen the bloke that did. Big fella, had an LA Lakers top on...


Now I'm fingered, you've went and ate the last or my girlfriends chocolate ice cream...

OK, it was me. But she was wearing it at the time.



Alright!!! Who ate the marshmallows out of my box of Lucky Charms?!?!

I had to tape over them.
They suck.

Who changed my mouse to right click?

I'm glad you owned up to that cause she's been complaining about the dust around here for ages.

I don't own any yo yo's

Hail Citizens!

I found this poor thread outside my computer, cold and starving.

Who could have done this to one so young? WHO?

not me, i was in the warehouse running an inventory on sleeper jammies...


ok, who drank the last of my harvey's?

I thought it was marvey's. I spit it back out don't worry.

Who stained the word "traitor" in my front lawn just cause my real name is very French?

Fucked if i know mate, but i seen GWB walking around with a bucket of hydrochloric acid...


Alright, who kept slipping all those ugly chicks into my bed at uni?

It was either Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. You've only got yourself to blame!

Why did you molest that poor girl in Colorado?

Not me, it looked like some little vietnamese chick....

Who drank my god damn Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid?

Not me I've been drinking this jug that's labeled with Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid crossed out and written over top of with crayon to say Ecto Cooler. I saw a vietnamese girl carrying a crayon wander off somewhere...

And who the fuck ate my pizza leftovers. I was saving that for dinner!

I didn't eat them, I rolled them up and Flyman smoked 'em...


Who let the dogs out?

Not me, I only have cats.

why'd you shoot cher?

jeez, it was only paintball...


speaking of which, where's my helmet? fly, you usin' it to hide something?

I didn't touch it, I did see a helmet-shaped toilet the other day. I didn't know what to think of it. So I crapped in it.

Who put this "Kick Me" sign on my back?

Not me, unless these High Heels are yours.

Who keeps forcing me to date really psycho women?

It was not I, but rumor has it that Bones is running a Psycho Women Dating Hotline and your number is the only one he is giving away to the applicants.

...

Who sold my soul to the devil?

in the words of the immortal sailor man, "bluto done it..."


meanwhile, someone left my cake out in the rain...

I wouldn't do it because I know it took so long to bake.

now if i could just find out who signed me up for a subscription to "Soap Opera Digest"

I signed you up for the NAMBLA newsletter, but not SOD...

I wanna know who chromed my head like Destro.

(oops I type too slow!)

It wasn't me, I got you the Backstreet Boys complete album collection.


Who sabotaged my mountain bike tire?

*raises hand* So what? Got beef? :D

All right, chumps, who stole my sanity? I know it was one of you ::squints eyes and leers around::

Tweren't me Mista Bones. I only took the 'Delete' button.


Who replaced my pepperoni with poker chips?

not me, but the shadow knows...


anybody seen my weber grill?

I swear I didn't take it to fulfil my perverted sexual desires, I swear I didn't. It..it was bundy. No, it was fremen. No...I dunno. But it weren't me!


btw, who the fuck left their soiled white underpants on my doorstep? Was it you? Or was it you? Or YOU?!

Ok ok...I'll admit...they are my underpants, but I'm not the one who soiled them. Honest.

Who the hell shaved my ass while I was sleeping?

frederick remington did it, not i...but i watched and it was 'ckin' hilarious...


what happened to the legion ball game this afternoon? who changed the schedule?

The girl down the block, dude.

Who stole Speilbergs movie prowess?