You, the accused - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 07-13-2003, 04:59 AM

some dude with a giant hammer, not me...

bring me the head of alfredo garcia...

grumpyolddude · 07-15-2003, 07:27 PM

You talkin' to ME? I ain't gettin' no head from Alfredo NOBODY!

But, somebody tapped my shoulder. When I turned, no one was there. Was that you?

uncle phil · 07-16-2003, 04:21 AM

nope, must have been fly...

where's my moon pie...

grumpyolddude · 07-16-2003, 02:24 PM

It's in your pants.... and quit calling me "pie".

Who stole the rest of the thread?

Conclamo Ludus · 07-16-2003, 06:05 PM

It wasn't me, all I've got is this yellow yarn.

Who pissed in my cheerios?

Pheatius · 07-17-2003, 12:23 PM

Don't look at me because I have a video of Uncle Phil whizzing in your breakfast my friend. He also 'sweetened' your coffee this morning.

...

Who took my African Teak Dunhill Lighter?

uncle phil · 07-17-2003, 12:31 PM

i did, but only because grump told me to, and he's bigger and uglier than i am...

who stole the kishka?

grumpyolddude · 07-17-2003, 02:46 PM

Fat and round and firmly packed?
It was hanging on the rack.
Yusef brought it back!

Where's the beef?

Sen · 07-17-2003, 02:53 PM

why, the beef is in my pants, of course.

What I want to know is why did you tie my shoes together?

grumpyolddude · 07-17-2003, 02:55 PM

They kept wandering off on their own!

Who forgot to feed the dog?

Fremen · 07-18-2003, 03:24 AM

Well, I admit, I forgot, but he was workin' the neighborhood at the time and it jumped my mind.

Did you steal my fries!?!

uncle phil · 07-18-2003, 04:20 AM

nope, must have been GH...

who dat humpin' dat chicken?

Stewie · 07-18-2003, 06:18 AM

That was a chicken? I thought it was a disemboweled fetus.

Who spanked my monkey?

Pheatius · 07-18-2003, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stewie
That was a chicken? I thought it was a disemboweled fetus.

That was truly disgusting...

But it was one of your multiple personalities that spanked your monkey...You are Jack's monkey spanker....

...

Who drugged me and forced me to have sex with that 19 year old cute virgin brunette coed?

Fremen · 07-18-2003, 06:55 AM

I don't know Jack!

Surely you didn't steal my mojo, baby?

Stewie · 07-18-2003, 08:03 AM

I stole it, I admit. But brother let's face it, you'd be better off with horse spit.

Ok who's the big dummy that is censoring my freaking post?

Troublebot · 07-18-2003, 08:34 AM

Not me, I was too busy wondering if you had a football shaped head.

Who stole my Men At Work albums! I loved those goddamn things!

grumpyolddude · 07-18-2003, 09:09 AM

Sorry! Here, you can have them back. I only took them to polish all of those nasty grooves off of them. See? Nice and shiny like your CD's. Isn't that better?

Who stole Michael Jackson's pigmentation?

TIO · 07-18-2003, 09:40 AM

Wasn't me. He was loving enough to share his bed with me, why would I want to harm him?

Who added Garth Brooks to my playlist?

blindawg · 07-18-2003, 10:02 AM

It wasn't me, I was with grumpyold dude, raiding your porn collection. Just ask him..

But you are the one who photoshopped Barnesy picture onto the body of every one of my Bon jovi posters.

Troublebot · 07-18-2003, 11:33 AM

Don't look at me. Both Barney and Bon Jovi make me want to yak. If I saw them together, I'd probably bring up a lung.

However, I think you were the one who melted the face off my Han Solo, in Hoth outfit, action figure. Why did you do it? How will I ever recreate the battle of Hoth again?

uncle phil · 07-18-2003, 12:30 PM

'twas not i, grasshopper, but i'll keep my eyes open for the real culprit...

who smacked my ass and called me sally?

analog · 07-18-2003, 12:54 PM

i would never smack the ass of uncle phil! i don't even have hands! never mind how i type.

what i really want to know is, why is there a head-cheese and pimento-loaf sandwich stuffed in my VCR?

Pheatius · 07-18-2003, 02:07 PM

It looked hungry...I'm sorry. I mean someone said it looked hungry, stuffed the sandwich in and buggered off...didn't catch his name...

Who is responsible for the theft of my pocket-sized particle accelerator?

Fremen · 07-18-2003, 08:46 PM

That would be the Ghostbusters down the street.

Did you steal my soul?

Miranda · 07-18-2003, 11:23 PM

I only borrowed your soul! I left it in your mailbox!

Last I heard, the guy next door traded it for Alf pogs!

YOU THREW UP ON MY MAGIC CARPET DIDN'T YOU!??!

uncle phil · 07-19-2003, 12:40 PM

nope, bones did it...he missed the roilet...

...can't find my other avatar of mm...

Fremen · 07-19-2003, 01:41 PM

I dint take her, Big Willy did.

Did you sell my rusted musket?

uncle phil · 07-20-2003, 01:14 PM

nope, i gave away your busted muskrat...

my ear is on fire...

grumpyolddude · 07-20-2003, 02:58 PM

I was just standing NEAR this old blow torch and it ..well... em...just kinda...uh.... HONEST! I DID NOT TOUCH IT!

Has anyone seen my nicotine suppositories?

homerhop · 07-20-2003, 03:05 PM

Those marks...... I fell over a bale and a hen picked me

uncle phil · 07-20-2003, 04:21 PM

easy, homer...pick yourself up and start over...it'll get better...

grumpyolddude · 07-20-2003, 08:55 PM

Who's turn is it, anyway?

analog · 07-20-2003, 11:38 PM

i'll go.

SUPPOSITORIES?........ well that explains a few things... i mean... i haven't seen them.

by the way, what were you thinking, taking my burrito-maker like that??

uncle phil · 07-21-2003, 03:56 AM

i didn't take your burrito-maker anywhere...he left by himself...

why is my roilet plugged up?

Pheatius · 07-21-2003, 10:13 AM

I saw it was unplugged, so I plugged it back in. Now your roilet light is working and you can see your way to the john in the middle of the night...

...

Why did you hide my car keys???

BonesCPA · 07-21-2003, 01:14 PM

The way you drive? My mother was coming in from out of town, and I didn't think she would survive with both of you on the road at the same time. The DMV should have done what I did years ago.

And what did you do with my dog that causes him to cower in the corner, and for that matter, what happened to all my trashbags?

Fremen · 07-21-2003, 09:26 PM

It wasn't me, but I heard some guy was giving neighborhood pets free pushes down 7-mile hill inside garbage bags.

Who was it that rearranged my ass indentation on my sofa?

uncle phil · 07-22-2003, 05:08 AM

not me, but i saw fly skulking around just outside the door...

who moved my truck?

Pheatius · 07-22-2003, 09:55 AM

Hey there Uncle Phil...I didn't move that truck...The guy I sold it to did.

...

and while I'm thinking of it...Who replaced my contact solution with battery acid?

07-13-2003, 04:59 AM	#41 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	some dude with a giant hammer, not me... bring me the head of alfredo garcia... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-15-2003, 07:27 PM	#42 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	You talkin' to ME? I ain't gettin' no head from Alfredo NOBODY! But, somebody tapped my shoulder. When I turned, no one was there. Was that you? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-16-2003, 04:21 AM	#43 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	nope, must have been fly... where's my moon pie... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-16-2003, 02:24 PM	#44 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	It's in your pants.... and quit calling me "pie". Who stole the rest of the thread? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-16-2003, 06:05 PM	#45 (permalink)
Conclamo Ludus Modern Man Location: West Michigan	It wasn't me, all I've got is this yellow yarn. Who pissed in my cheerios? __________________ Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold. -Son House, Death Letter Blues

07-17-2003, 12:23 PM	#46 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	Don't look at me because I have a video of Uncle Phil whizzing in your breakfast my friend. He also 'sweetened' your coffee this morning. ... Who took my African Teak Dunhill Lighter?

07-17-2003, 12:31 PM	#47 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	i did, but only because grump told me to, and he's bigger and uglier than i am... who stole the kishka? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-17-2003, 02:46 PM	#48 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Fat and round and firmly packed? It was hanging on the rack. Yusef brought it back! Where's the beef? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-17-2003, 02:53 PM	#49 (permalink)
Sen Insane Location: Midwest	why, the beef is in my pants, of course. What I want to know is why did you tie my shoes together? __________________ "I want to announce my presence with authority!" "You want to what?" "I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

07-17-2003, 02:55 PM	#50 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	They kept wandering off on their own! Who forgot to feed the dog? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-18-2003, 03:24 AM	#51 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Well, I admit, I forgot, but he was workin' the neighborhood at the time and it jumped my mind. Did you steal my fries!?! __________________ Google

07-18-2003, 04:20 AM	#52 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	nope, must have been GH... who dat humpin' dat chicken? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-18-2003, 06:18 AM	#53 (permalink)
Stewie Upright Location: SAn Diego	That was a chicken? I thought it was a disemboweled fetus. Who spanked my monkey? __________________ Well if ya ain`t the grandaddy of all liars

07-18-2003, 06:55 AM	#55 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I don't know Jack! Surely you didn't steal my mojo, baby? __________________ Google

07-18-2003, 08:03 AM	#56 (permalink)
Stewie Upright Location: SAn Diego	I stole it, I admit. But brother let's face it, you'd be better off with horse spit. Ok who's the big dummy that is censoring my freaking post? __________________ Well if ya ain`t the grandaddy of all liars

07-18-2003, 08:34 AM	#57 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Not me, I was too busy wondering if you had a football shaped head. Who stole my Men At Work albums! I loved those goddamn things! __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

07-18-2003, 09:09 AM	#58 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Sorry! Here, you can have them back. I only took them to polish all of those nasty grooves off of them. See? Nice and shiny like your CD's. Isn't that better? Who stole Michael Jackson's pigmentation? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-18-2003, 09:40 AM	#59 (permalink)
TIO Addict Location: The Land Down Under	Wasn't me. He was loving enough to share his bed with me, why would I want to harm him? Who added Garth Brooks to my playlist? __________________ Strewth

07-18-2003, 10:02 AM	#60 (permalink)
blindawg Lord over all I survey Location: Northern Michigan	It wasn't me, I was with grumpyold dude, raiding your porn collection. Just ask him.. But you are the one who photoshopped Barnesy picture onto the body of every one of my Bon jovi posters. __________________ ( • Y • ) I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. ( • Y • ) - Jack Handey

07-18-2003, 11:33 AM	#61 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Don't look at me. Both Barney and Bon Jovi make me want to yak. If I saw them together, I'd probably bring up a lung. However, I think you were the one who melted the face off my Han Solo, in Hoth outfit, action figure. Why did you do it? How will I ever recreate the battle of Hoth again? __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

07-18-2003, 12:30 PM	#62 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	'twas not i, grasshopper, but i'll keep my eyes open for the real culprit... who smacked my ass and called me sally? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-18-2003, 12:54 PM	#63 (permalink)
analog Banned	i would never smack the ass of uncle phil! i don't even have hands! never mind how i type. what i really want to know is, why is there a head-cheese and pimento-loaf sandwich stuffed in my VCR?

07-18-2003, 02:07 PM	#64 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	It looked hungry...I'm sorry. I mean someone said it looked hungry, stuffed the sandwich in and buggered off...didn't catch his name... Who is responsible for the theft of my pocket-sized particle accelerator?

07-18-2003, 08:46 PM	#65 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	That would be the Ghostbusters down the street. Did you steal my soul? __________________ Google

07-18-2003, 11:23 PM	#66 (permalink)
Miranda Banned Location: Sydney	I only borrowed your soul! I left it in your mailbox! Last I heard, the guy next door traded it for Alf pogs! YOU THREW UP ON MY MAGIC CARPET DIDN'T YOU!??!

07-19-2003, 12:40 PM	#67 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	nope, bones did it...he missed the roilet... ...can't find my other avatar of mm... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-19-2003, 01:41 PM	#68 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I dint take her, Big Willy did. Did you sell my rusted musket? __________________ Google

07-20-2003, 01:14 PM	#69 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	nope, i gave away your busted muskrat... my ear is on fire... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-20-2003, 02:58 PM	#70 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	I was just standing NEAR this old blow torch and it ..well... em...just kinda...uh.... HONEST! I DID NOT TOUCH IT! Has anyone seen my nicotine suppositories? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-20-2003, 03:05 PM	#71 (permalink)
homerhop Insane Location: ÉIRE	Those marks...... I fell over a bale and a hen picked me __________________ its evolution baby

07-20-2003, 04:21 PM	#72 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	easy, homer...pick yourself up and start over...it'll get better... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-20-2003, 08:55 PM	#73 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Who's turn is it, anyway? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-20-2003, 11:38 PM	#74 (permalink)
analog Banned	i'll go. SUPPOSITORIES?........ well that explains a few things... i mean... i haven't seen them. by the way, what were you thinking, taking my burrito-maker like that??

07-21-2003, 03:56 AM	#75 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	i didn't take your burrito-maker anywhere...he left by himself... why is my roilet plugged up? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-21-2003, 10:13 AM	#76 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	I saw it was unplugged, so I plugged it back in. Now your roilet light is working and you can see your way to the john in the middle of the night... ... Why did you hide my car keys???