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Old 09-01-2009, 08:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
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Location: DC/Coastal VA
Ask a WASP



1.5 grams saturated fat per serving, thank you, we're conquering the world with Freedom Sauce. Ask me about mac and cheese, owning domestically built automobiles, and serial killers.

Affairs with secretaries, school board politics, and non-touchy religion.

Ask me when the country went to hell in a handbasket thanks to the goings on of a particular youth segment. I can also tailor that to include the liberal media.

Ask me about oppressing, and how we lost our groove on that subject.
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
why in the hell can I not even get one sammich outta a can o tuna anymore?!?

wtf gives......
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: The Danforth
why is that jar o' mayo bilingual?

what gives?
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You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr


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Old 09-01-2009, 09:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
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Location: Toronto
I can't decide between a BMW and a Mercedes. Which will better communicate my successful status?

Should I go with a sedan or SUV?
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Old 09-01-2009, 09:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Location: East-central Canada
How does one keep one's children from playing with kids who go to public school?
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Old 09-01-2009, 11:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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Location: Australia/UAE
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leto View Post
why is that jar o' mayo bilingual?

what gives?

its arabic for "al Mayooneise" if you wanted to say it phonetically



sooo...when DID the country go to hell in a basketcase?
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Old 09-01-2009, 01:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Buzzz-zzzbuzzzzzz-zzz Buzz buzzzzz buzzz-zzzbzzzz.
Buzzzz-buzz Buz biz-buzz, buzzz?
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Old 09-01-2009, 02:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
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Location: DC/Coastal VA
Quote:
I can't decide between a BMW and a Mercedes. Which will better communicate my successful status?

Should I go with a sedan or SUV?
Heresy. You will go with a Ford Expidition that gets 4 miles per gallon and comes with the optional air fouler. Because global warming is a MYTH! I heard it on Rush.

-------------------------

Quote:
How does one keep one's children from playing with kids who go to public school?
Rigorous profiling. Beyond that, stick to activities at the club or at riding lessons.

---------- Post added at 06:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:17 PM ----------

Quote:
sooo...when DID the country go to hell in a basketcase?
Let me tell you, first we allowed all these hippies to run around and suddenly the children of this country wants to be individualistic. So now every other boy and third girl is running around with their pants half down, showing their underwear to the world. It's perpetuated by the "I'm alright, you're alright" maintream media. They constantly have these forums where they get kids together and ask them how they feel about things.

What they all should be saying is that they're damn happy to have a mom and a dad who put in a days work, be it in the kitchen cooking up toll house cookies, or in the office like me, having a bourbon and water with my secretary over a long day of reviewing TPS reports.

I come home and they're watching a cartoon about a damn gay sponge and his pink friend. Pinko is more like it. It's over. The communists have won.

---------- Post added at 06:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:22 PM ----------

Quote:
why in the hell can I not even get one sammich outta a can o tuna anymore?!?

wtf gives......
Because we've been trying to be best buddies with the dolphins and so we let half the tuna free in order to ensure dolphins don't get a bumpy on their dinkums. I saw a TV show the other day on Fox, about wild animals attacking or somesuch. And a dolphin was trying to rape this man! I had the barest chance to change over to RFD before Sarah could figure out what vile stuff Fox was showing is. Oh, Fox, why have you abandoned the WASP? I mean, the news channel is still aces, even if Hannity is Catholic.
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
You can sting more than once, right? (unlike those bees)
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:44 AM   #10 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
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Location: Canada
Since you invited questions about mac and cheese:

Why do you insist on calling it mac and cheese, and not KD like civilized folk?
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I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Administrator
Location: Chicago
Dear WASP:

Oftentimes when I'm changing at the country club before and after golf, I notice the little Mexican (I assume he's Mexican, he's a darky regardless) attendant watching me. He's very obviously interested in me and sometimes follows me into the shower. I've seen him and one of the Catholic priests we had to let in back in the 80's disapear together into the bathroom stalls together, and sometimes the towels are damp.

So how do I fix the slice I have with my long irons?

Sincerely,

Chad
Lincoln Park Trixie Society
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Old 09-02-2009, 12:30 PM   #12 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: The Danforth
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martian View Post
Since you invited questions about mac and cheese:

Why do you insist on calling it mac and cheese, and not KD like civilized folk?
Exactly.
__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr


http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I
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Old 09-02-2009, 01:30 PM   #13 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
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Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Ahoy Wasp,

First time caller, long time listener...I really love your show.

Woud you like to weigh in on the increasing use of parasitic wasps in agrarian pest control?

I have a follow up question about your possible feelings of inadequacy due to the lack of hair and wax producing glands like other more popular members of your order.

Thank you for your time.

I'll just hang up and listen.
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Old 09-02-2009, 08:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
Poppinjay's Avatar
 
Location: DC/Coastal VA
Quote:
Why do you insist on calling it mac and cheese, and not KD like civilized folk?
KD is for the lower classes. For our family, its Velveeta and shells.

Quote:
I have a follow up question about your possible feelings of inadequacy due to the lack of hair and wax producing glands like other more popular members of your order
The hairloss is due to the country going to hell in a handbasket. And hippies make wax.
__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen View Post
Buzzz-zzzbuzzzzzz-zzz Buzz buzzzzz buzzz-zzzbzzzz.
Buzzzz-buzz Buz biz-buzz, buzzz?
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:16 PM   #16 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen View Post
Buzzz-zzzbuzzzzzz-zzz Buzz buzzzzz buzzz-zzzbzzzz.
Buzzzz-buzz Buz biz-buzz, buzzz?
Ohh I may not be a WASP but I know this one. You are technically right, first of all you use shaving cream THEN apply the mayo. If you don't it'll be ingrown and you don't want that.
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:56 PM   #17 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
Ohh I may not be a WASP but I know this one. You are technically right, first of all you use shaving cream THEN apply the mayo. If you don't it'll be ingrown and you don't want that.
Finally!
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