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View Poll Results: Am I an asshole?
Yes, you are an unbearable asshole and I wish you would go away. 7 18.92%
Yes, you are an asshole, but so is everyone else. 8 21.62%
Yes, you are an asshole, but you are my kind of asshole. 8 21.62%
No, you are not an asshole. 3 8.11%
I have no opinion of you. You mean less than nothing to me. 11 29.73%
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 11-15-2008, 07:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
President Rick
 
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Location: location location
Am I an asshole?

It has been recently brought to my attention that I may be an asshole. So I figured I would put it to a public vote. The voting is anonymous, so answer how you honestly feel. Of course for those who are bold and passionate about my assholeness, feel free to elaborate on your vote, list in as much detail as you like the level of my assholinity. If you feel so inclined, consider this "an open letter to an asshole".
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Old 11-15-2008, 08:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
 
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You're really invested in this "everyone hates me" stuff, aren't you?
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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
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Old 11-15-2008, 08:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
I don't really know you, but now I'm a bit curious...though I didn't see any suitable option for me in your poll. So you're probably not a pollish asshole.
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Old 11-16-2008, 02:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
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I think you're an arsehole, but at least you're not a cunt.
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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 11-16-2008, 04:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
Living in a Warmer Insanity
 
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Of course you're an asshole, we all are. The real question is...

Were you born an asshole? Or did you work at it your whole life?
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Old 11-16-2008, 05:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 11-16-2008, 05:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
Eponymous
 
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Location: Central Central Florida
This might help you figure it out.

Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE) - Are You A Certified Asshole? - A Service of Electric Pulp
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Old 11-16-2008, 06:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
The Reverend Side Boob
 
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Location: Nofe Curolina
No, you're not an asshole.

Real assholes KNOW that they're assholes, we don't need anyone else to tell us.
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Old 11-16-2008, 06:27 AM   #9 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inBOIL View Post
You're really invested in this "everyone hates me" stuff, aren't you?
Seriously. I'm not feeding the animals, on this one.
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Old 11-16-2008, 06:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
Leaning against the -Sun-
 
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you sure waste a lot of energy on this...you'd do better to apply it to positive things.

I have no idea if you're an asshole. I don't know you well enough.

What seems clear to me is that you're a bit of a pessimist. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and change things you're unhappy with so you can feel comfortable with who you are.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.


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Old 11-16-2008, 08:11 AM   #11 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
I voted that you are an asshole, but my kind of asshole.
I find some of your posts to be assholey, but not in an in your face kind of way.
I'm comfortable with your rectum-ness.

Denis Leary has a song for you, my friend (I love this song);
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Old 11-16-2008, 08:19 AM   #12 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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There's no option for "someone should invent a time machine, go back in time and cockblock your dad" so I voted for "Yes, you are an asshole, but you are my kind of asshole."
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Old 11-16-2008, 08:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
Mulletproof
 
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Location: Some nucking fut house.
If you're an asshole, you're an asshole.
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Old 11-16-2008, 09:24 AM   #14 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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yeah your an asshole. meanwhile your two best friends are like bumcheeks. shit gets between them but they always stick together.

ok that wasnt mine. but i had to say it.

why does it matter if someone thinks your an asshole? do you think of yourself as one? i personaly havent seen much assholishness about you.

but if you are referring to the thread where you were called an asshole today, you will see that if you re-read it that your coment was made in jest and so was the respondant.
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Old 11-16-2008, 11:07 AM   #15 (permalink)
I read your emails.
 
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Location: earth
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrklixx View Post
It has been recently brought to my attention that I may be an asshole. So I figured I would put it to a public vote. The voting is anonymous, so answer how you honestly feel. Of course for those who are bold and passionate about my assholeness, feel free to elaborate on your vote, list in as much detail as you like the level of my assholinity. If you feel so inclined, consider this "an open letter to an asshole".

Is this a thread your referring too? Maybe you could link to the thread to help us who have no idea what your referring too.

Since I have no reference I am set to make assumptions....which you guessed it makes....ass out you and me....

If this is not a joke maybe you have self esteem issues dude. Or maybe your just an asshole. I know i am so i can usually spot them a mile away....
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Old 11-17-2008, 09:56 AM   #16 (permalink)
President Rick
 
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Location: location location
This thread actually had 3 "purposes".

First and foremost, it was a joke. I see a few people "got it".

Second it was an experiment. I'm always interested in the amateur psychotherapists that can tell me stuff about myself.

Lastly, it was a genuine opportunity to air grievances against me. No, I don't think that everybody hates me. But I am an "up front" kind of guy, and I would rather someone have the wherewithal to say "I don't like you or what you have to say, so please don't respond to my posts or my blog", than give the cold shoulder/silent treatment. People seem to be concerned with my time management, and it would save considerable time and effort if people would just be candid.

In closing, I know I'm an asshole. I smell funny. I make noises at inappropriate times. I can be silent and deadly. And there is always some dick hanging around that gets more action tham me.
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Old 11-17-2008, 10:05 AM   #17 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Administrator
Location: Chicago
You forgot that it can be painful when you get fucked.
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Old 11-17-2008, 11:09 AM   #18 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I am an asshole, & I won't quit it for the insensitivities of other assholes, nor would I ever recommend doing so.

Don't be an asshole!
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Old 11-17-2008, 01:25 PM   #19 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
Am I allowed to change my mind now?
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Old 11-17-2008, 02:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Asshole? Eeeh...

Maybe a bit of a bastard.
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Whatever you can carry.

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Old 11-17-2008, 03:36 PM   #21 (permalink)
I read your emails.
 
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Location: earth
Today I was a major league asshole and it was awesome! Well for me it was at least....the other person might have another opinion.

I also learned that without coffee an 8am meeting is not cool.
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Old 11-17-2008, 05:40 PM   #22 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
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Location: Windiwana
yes. yes you are.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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Old 11-17-2008, 06:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
Some of you might know that I tend to be a graphically oriented asshole. So to capture this moment for our posteriors, what better way to express all this assholeocity than a big fat pie in the face:

My mrklixx Pie Hole Chart :

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Old 11-17-2008, 07:05 PM   #24 (permalink)
President Rick
 
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Location: location location
The biggest part of my asshole is orange and purple.
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Old 11-17-2008, 07:14 PM   #25 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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It becomes you...and probably better than being totally in the red:

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Old 11-24-2008, 08:10 PM   #26 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
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Location: Tucson, AZ
I can't honestly say that I've ever read any of your posts. I don't know you and I don't know anything about you. I voted option 1.


Asshole.
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Last edited by vermin; 11-24-2008 at 08:14 PM..
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Old 11-27-2008, 08:29 AM   #27 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: under the freeway bridge
If you have to ask, does it not mean you are?
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Old 11-27-2008, 09:02 AM   #28 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Hey! do you know what you are?
You're an asshole! an asshole!

Some of you might not agree cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, cause youre an asshole...

Maybe you think youre a lonely guy
Maybe you think youre too tough to cry
So you went to the grape,
Just to give it a try
And dagmar Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name... One two three four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his Pancake make-up And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane Lets talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
And so you kissed a little sailor Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
Who had just blew in from spain Sir richard pump-a-loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko Then on tuesday night, ceasars back in town
In a way you cant explain Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With kona.

And so you worked the wall with michael Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain Volcanic hell
But you came back on sunday for the gong show Next thursday, teen towns finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin
cause youre an asshole, youre an asshole Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole Yes, yes
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole

Now you been to the grape n you been to the chest
n now I think you know what you are: youre an asshole

You say you cant live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you,
But dont fool yerself girl
Its lookin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its winkin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its blinkin at you
Thats why I say
Im gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)

Aw, I knew youd be surprised...

- Gotta love it when Zappa can do your talking for you....
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Old 12-07-2008, 09:06 PM   #29 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
I had this urge to put this somewhere, but didn't know where...so here it is in this asshole thread:

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Old 12-08-2008, 03:09 AM   #30 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
yeah, i'd be readin' that while pullin' her hair and yellin' like a rodeo cowboy...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 12-08-2008, 04:39 AM   #31 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
you mean rodeo queen right phil?


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Old 12-08-2008, 04:50 AM   #32 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
I'm just making sure you didn't mean "bass hole"

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Old 12-08-2008, 12:42 PM   #33 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
fly, isn't he dead?

oh, and meanwhile:


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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Last edited by uncle phil; 12-08-2008 at 12:44 PM..
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:46 PM   #34 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Layne is dead yes.


fuckin' pokers.............
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:47 AM   #35 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
Is asshole kind of a gender thing?

Assholette sounds tre chic.

Me assholette.
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:32 AM   #36 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
If not gender, then my flow capacity precludes me from being an "ette".
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