Be careful what you wish for... - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Anormalguy · 11-20-2008, 04:46 PM

Congratulations on your new job-for-life as the puncing bag for the Cuban boxing team!

I wish that Victoria's Secret would hire me.

BadNick · 11-20-2008, 07:23 PM

...well you're in luck. I happen to be a Victoria's Secret Official Model Selection Manager. So I just PM'd you my cell number, please send me a clear picture of yourself and your address and I'll be over shortly. Do you have any of our underwear to model? I'll bring some of those, too. Please don't read any further below...just do it. wait...why is there "guy" in your screen name?

I wish I was a Victoria's Secret model selection manager.

Dixy · 11-21-2008, 07:10 AM

Yes, but you see they opened this division for male underwear.

I wish I had a goose down duvet.

Giant Hamburger · 11-21-2008, 09:32 AM

Hands Dixy a lumpy blood-stained duvet filled with a writhing mass of downy baby geese.

I wish for INSTANT DEATH!

BadNick · 11-21-2008, 10:01 AM

First, please deposit your $200 into the "pay here" slot, then smile and grab the wire. Your full cooperation is appreciated. Thank you.

I wish people would stop bogarting the joint.

Dixy · 11-22-2008, 06:20 AM

Frankly, my dear, they don't give a damn.

MORE rain please!

Jetée · 11-22-2008, 06:44 AM

Perhaps you should stop playing in the rain by now...

I'd like a new sweater.

BadNick · 11-22-2008, 08:09 AM

Here's your new sweater, Jet. Dr. BadNick told her to eat more ice cubes to aleviate her hot flashes, but it didn't help.

I wish I had a lot more children.

Tophat665 · 11-22-2008, 06:34 PM

As if you could finish a whole one.

I wish to know everything that can be known.

Dixy · 11-22-2008, 10:18 PM

But you went insane with horror at the depravity of humanity.

I wish strawberries actually tasted sweet.

jewels · 11-23-2008, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixy

I wish strawberries actually tasted sweet.

They do. Those things you thought were strawberries are toxic.

I wish there really was a Santa Claus.

Tophat665 · 11-23-2008, 07:12 AM

There really was a Santa Claus. He got stuck in a chimmney in Bittberg in 1708, just before they lit a fire, and he Asphixiated while trying to deliver sugarplums. On the plus size, the sugary plums glazed and marinated him nicely, leaving him sweet, piquant, smokey, and delicious.

I wish I were at all times attended by no fewer than three young, tall, beautiful, busty, and throroughly sexually uninhibited women of diverse character and race, all of whom want nothing better than a word from me to have sex with me or each other.

Zooksport2 · 11-23-2008, 07:40 PM

If you had asked for 1, I may have been able to help, but there is NO way that 2 exist in the whole world, let alone 3!

Jees! Dreamer

I wish the TFP was bigger.

.

BadNick · 11-23-2008, 07:43 PM

all those desirable traits but you didn't mention "teeth"...you don't mind if they have teeth, do you?

edit: oops, another dollar short and a day late.........

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooksport2

....I wish the TFP was bigger.

Here you go, Zook. Take a closer look.

I wish I could remember my last new year's resolutions.

Zooksport2 · 11-23-2008, 07:55 PM

You asked for a better memory, right?

I wish for peace on earth..... ha

.

BadNick · 11-23-2008, 08:26 PM

Did you say piece of Bertha?...you got her, mate.

I wish I was going to the Land of Oz.

Zooksport2 · 11-23-2008, 08:54 PM

You are always welcome, but, sorry, you're not of suitable character.

I wish Badnick wasn't dislexic.

.
hehehe

.

BadNick · 11-24-2008, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooksport2

...I wish Badnick wasn't dislexic...

Ahhh, we truly are mates then since "DYSLEXIA" includes spelling: Dyslexia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"Dyslexia is a learning disability that manifests primarily as a difficulty with written language, particularly with reading and spelling."

I wish I could be an artist.

Dixy · 11-24-2008, 08:51 AM

You are now a wonderful artist. This means you will starve and only get recognition well after your death.

I wish I could study again.

Zooksport2 · 11-24-2008, 01:21 PM

You can and do, but you achieve a high score of D-

I wish I had 2 more wishes....

.

vermin · 11-24-2008, 07:57 PM

You have them. Unfortunately they were both made for you and you get Bertha and the magnifying glass!

I wish I had 10,000 dollars.

BadNick · 11-24-2008, 08:17 PM

Ahhh, you probably mean Zimbabwe dollars. As you can see below, that equals about $0.20 U.S. The checks in the mail.

I wish I had a pony.

jewels · 11-25-2008, 03:22 AM

You had a pony, but you couldn't tell if it was male or female until after the experience was over.

I wish I won the Lotto.

BadNick · 11-27-2008, 08:12 PM

Dearest Madam jewels,
Please contact us immediately to claim your lotto winnings. If you would be so kind as to transfer a mere $25,000 into our secured account to cover preliminary transaction fees, we will immediately reimburse your account with the $500,000 prize!!!!
Your best friend,
Official Former Finance Minister of Nigeria and Greater Congo

I wish my pony had thongs.

Tophat665 · 12-06-2008, 03:20 PM

I hate to go off the reservation here, but I think that getting that wish may just be its own punishment. You make pick up your pony and thongs at La Casa Doña Estreña, Calle Los Gringos Tantos, Tijuana Mexico. Give Dolores a pat on the bum for me.

I wish nothing more than the opportunity to prove that a great deal of money can, contrary to popular belief, bring me happiness.

uncle phil · 12-06-2008, 03:43 PM

Google Image Result for http://www.old-picture.com/united-states-history-1900s---1930s/pictures/wheelbarrow-mutilated.jpg

how old do i want to get?

BadNick · 12-06-2008, 07:50 PM

unc, you can get one as old as you like. As you see, this one has a lot in common with you so give her a call.

When I'm old I wish my lover would take her teeth out and give me a gum job all over my body.

11-20-2008, 04:46 PM	#81 (permalink)
Anormalguy After School Special Moralist Location: Large City, Texas.	Congratulations on your new job-for-life as the puncing bag for the Cuban boxing team! I wish that Victoria's Secret would hire me. __________________ In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

11-22-2008, 06:44 AM	#87 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	Perhaps you should stop playing in the rain by now... I'd like a new sweater. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

11-22-2008, 06:34 PM	#89 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	As if you could finish a whole one. I wish to know everything that can be known. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

11-23-2008, 07:12 AM	#92 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	There really was a Santa Claus. He got stuck in a chimmney in Bittberg in 1708, just before they lit a fire, and he Asphixiated while trying to deliver sugarplums. On the plus size, the sugary plums glazed and marinated him nicely, leaving him sweet, piquant, smokey, and delicious. I wish I were at all times attended by no fewer than three young, tall, beautiful, busty, and throroughly sexually uninhibited women of diverse character and race, all of whom want nothing better than a word from me to have sex with me or each other. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

11-23-2008, 07:40 PM	#93 (permalink)
Zooksport2 Casual... Real Casual Location: Orstraylia	If you had asked for 1, I may have been able to help, but there is NO way that 2 exist in the whole world, let alone 3! Jees! Dreamer I wish the TFP was bigger. . __________________ "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd

11-20-2008, 07:23 PM	#82 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	...well you're in luck. I happen to be a Victoria's Secret Official Model Selection Manager. So I just PM'd you my cell number, please send me a clear picture of yourself and your address and I'll be over shortly. Do you have any of our underwear to model? I'll bring some of those, too. Please don't read any further below...just do it. wait...why is there "guy" in your screen name? I wish I was a Victoria's Secret model selection manager.

11-21-2008, 07:10 AM	#83 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Yes, but you see they opened this division for male underwear. I wish I had a goose down duvet.

11-21-2008, 09:32 AM	#84 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hands Dixy a lumpy blood-stained duvet filled with a writhing mass of downy baby geese. I wish for INSTANT DEATH!

11-21-2008, 10:01 AM	#85 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	First, please deposit your $200 into the "pay here" slot, then smile and grab the wire. Your full cooperation is appreciated. Thank you. I wish people would stop bogarting the joint.

11-22-2008, 06:20 AM	#86 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Frankly, my dear, they don't give a damn. MORE rain please!

11-22-2008, 08:09 AM	#88 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Here's your new sweater, Jet. Dr. BadNick told her to eat more ice cubes to aleviate her hot flashes, but it didn't help. I wish I had a lot more children.

11-22-2008, 10:18 PM	#90 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	But you went insane with horror at the depravity of humanity. I wish strawberries actually tasted sweet.

11-23-2008, 07:55 PM	#95 (permalink)
Zooksport2 Casual... Real Casual Location: Orstraylia	You asked for a better memory, right? I wish for peace on earth..... ha . __________________ "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd

11-23-2008, 08:26 PM	#96 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Did you say piece of Bertha?...you got her, mate. I wish I was going to the Land of Oz.

11-23-2008, 08:54 PM	#97 (permalink)
Zooksport2 Casual... Real Casual Location: Orstraylia	You are always welcome, but, sorry, you're not of suitable character. I wish Badnick wasn't dislexic. . hehehe . __________________ "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd

12-06-2008, 03:43 PM	#106 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Google Image Result for http://www.old-picture.com/united-states-history-1900s---1930s/pictures/wheelbarrow-mutilated.jpg how old do i want to get? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-24-2008, 08:51 AM	#99 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	You are now a wonderful artist. This means you will starve and only get recognition well after your death. I wish I could study again.

11-24-2008, 01:21 PM	#100 (permalink)
Zooksport2 Casual... Real Casual Location: Orstraylia	You can and do, but you achieve a high score of D- I wish I had 2 more wishes.... . __________________ "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd

11-24-2008, 07:57 PM	#101 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	You have them. Unfortunately they were both made for you and you get Bertha and the magnifying glass! I wish I had 10,000 dollars. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

11-24-2008, 08:17 PM	#102 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Ahhh, you probably mean Zimbabwe dollars. As you can see below, that equals about $0.20 U.S. The checks in the mail. I wish I had a pony.

11-25-2008, 03:22 AM	#103 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	You had a pony, but you couldn't tell if it was male or female until after the experience was over. I wish I won the Lotto. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

11-27-2008, 08:12 PM	#104 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Dearest Madam jewels, Please contact us immediately to claim your lotto winnings. If you would be so kind as to transfer a mere $25,000 into our secured account to cover preliminary transaction fees, we will immediately reimburse your account with the $500,000 prize!!!! Your best friend, Official Former Finance Minister of Nigeria and Greater Congo I wish my pony had thongs.

12-06-2008, 03:20 PM	#105 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I hate to go off the reservation here, but I think that getting that wish may just be its own punishment. You make pick up your pony and thongs at La Casa Doña Estreña, Calle Los Gringos Tantos, Tijuana Mexico. Give Dolores a pat on the bum for me. I wish nothing more than the opportunity to prove that a great deal of money can, contrary to popular belief, bring me happiness. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

12-06-2008, 07:50 PM	#107 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	unc, you can get one as old as you like. As you see, this one has a lot in common with you so give her a call. When I'm old I wish my lover would take her teeth out and give me a gum job all over my body.