Be careful what you wish for...
 

Here's how it goes.

Person 1 makes a wish:

"I wish that I had a 10 inch penis"

Person 2 makes it a bad wish:

"but you retain your pencil-like girth"

and the Person 2 makes his wish and we start again..

so my wish..

I wish that I could have nailed that model I was eyeing last night...

but you use actual nails and a framing hammer to do so.

I wish I were taller...

...but then your head wouldn't be in the right spot.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...c/talllady.jpg


I wish I was rich.

But then everyone would just call you Dick. Best to stick with your current name.


I wish I had a unlimited amounts of cash.

Congrats. You can have Cash 24/7.

http://img.tesco.com/pi/entertainmen...741_CD_L_F.jpg


I wish I lived in the Playboy Mansion.

Then Hef finally decides to swear off chicks and you are his, 24/7.

I wish I was the bear in Bear Cub's avatar.

But he has no cock, so what would you do anyway?

I wish I had bigger boobs.

But then you'd have to hang out with Jazz, Fly and Paddy Joe *all* the time.

I wish I could draw and paint better.

No problem; you can now masterfully draws dicks with simple clean strokes and intense precision.


The wish-granting entity: my sworn enemy. Give me the power to alter time.

Congrats, you have the power to fast forward or rewind to all of the worst moments in your life.


I wish I was a super-stud.

And now you're a thoroughbred horse, ready for breeding!


* * * *


I wish I could eat gourmet cooking for every meal.

Escargot is gourmet. So are spider eggs.

I wish I had a maid.

...so she could clean you out real good

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...ches_enema.jpg

I wish I had a motorcycle.

It's yours!

http://www.tinmantintoys.com/images/...own%20left.JPG


I wish I was an NFL linebacker.

Congratulations, Keith Newman.

I wish I was having supper at the Dorchester Hotel in London, England tonight, with a free selection from the menu, someone else paying the bill, and wonderful company.

It was a wonderful free dinner, but you paid for quite some time as you discovered you were a victim of ptomaine poisoning on your way home.

I wish I had a job that paid me what I was worth and treated me with respect.

Your rise to the top of the financial sector has been unprecedented. And I'm sure you can get time off for good behaviour. Just try not to get shanked in the showers.

I wish that the upcoming Star Trek movie will kick ass and totally revitalize the series.

The new Star Trek movie does kick ass, and so do the next five of them. Eventually a cult is formed around the series, and people treat Captain Kirk like a God. Eventually it is banned after millions of people die after they banded together to build homemade versions of the U.S.S. Enterprise out of old Soviet rockets and accidentally fly into the United Nations HQ.

I wish I could live and be 18 years old forever.

...and forever live someplace where the drinking age is 21.

I wish I had the lucky lotto Powerball winning ticket.

but because you buy lotto tickets every day, you start to forget to check your tickets from time to time... 2 years later when packing for a move, you find an expired winning power ball ticket.

I wish I could have found a way to make a decent living as a full time musician.

Welcome to your new job as a song writer for The Wiggles.

I wish that I could still fit into my old Air Force uniform.

You there, in the uniform, get on the bus. We're going to Afghanistan!

I wish I had the ability to run a decent country club and the opportunity to do so.

You are given a chance and succeed while also helping the country club nurse, Nurse Sanders, seduce Captain Joseph MacKenzie, but it turns out she just wanted to give both of you enemas when she's not being Halx's maid.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...club_nurse.jpg


I wish the Phillies win the World Series this year.

The Phillies won!! Sorry, it's time to wake up.

I wish someone would mow my lawn for me.

Your neighbour used Agent Orange and your skin tone is now Umpa Lumpa coloured

**********

I wish it would stop raining

Welcome to the world's newest desert!

*******************

I wish for world peace.

Peace with or without pepperoni?...you can have it your way:

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...eaceapizza.jpg


I wish McD's won't go bankrupt since I'll need to work there til I die when my 401K is worthless.

That can be arranged sir... I believe that your booking in the euthenasia booth is tomorrow evening at 6pm.

I wish I wasn't so busy at work.

Congrats! You've been promoted to door man at the fire exit!

I wish I owned a PS3.

Work drops off, suddenly so do profits, and BOOM! Welcome to the unemployment line (or queue for you, I guess).

I wish I could smoke pot and NOT lose all of my energy, willpower, ambition, etc.....


The only games that you can afford are G rated.

I wish I could smoke pot and NOT lose all of my energy, willpower, ambition, etc.....

Congrats, you made some delicious sausage to boot!

http://www.kitchenproject.com/BBQ/Fl...SmokinPots.jpg


I wish I won the lottery.

You did, but so did 10 000 other people.

I wish for some rain.

Acid rain it is! Welcome to Canada during the Reagan era.

I wish the Miami Dolphins had a great defence.

They do, but unfortunately the opposing team has a better offense!


I wish I was sailing!

On an Optimist in the eye of a storm.

I wish my bull gave me less bull (stubborn @#$%)

Congrats he no longer gives bull but milk, you are a cow richer.

****

I wish my kid would sleep through the night

Congrats, your child is Rip Van Winkle.

I wish I was fluent in six languages.

pooof!!! now you are and land a job as a tour guide at Six Flags Amusement Park.


I wish it was always a sunny Springtime.

You inherit shares in a sunblock company!

I wish I was marginally richer

And then inflation kicks in and you are marginalized!

I wish I was a better writer.