Be careful what you wish for... - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Lucifer · 10-29-2008, 07:33 AM

Congratulations! You win the Pulitzer prize for Fiction, followed by 5 surgeries for carpal tunnel syndrome.

I wish I owned a boat.

Jetée · 10-29-2008, 08:09 AM

As was your last will and testament, upon final corporeal request, here is thoust boat; may your flickering invisible spirit enjoy it eternally.

I ask you to fulfill my current desire to destroy and rebuild my existence, thank you kindly.

Poppinjay · 10-29-2008, 09:02 AM

Goodbye Jetee, hello Roy Cohn!

I wish I were friends with Alicia Goranson.

BadNick · 10-29-2008, 10:59 AM

Dear John....errrr I mean Poppinjay,
It's not you, it's me...but can we still be friends? I'm having such a great time with my latest friend, Harley Kaplan. Keep this pic of us in your wallet. Luv ya. A.G.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

jewels · 10-29-2008, 03:25 PM

Poof. I did enjoy you with some sauerkraut and mustard.

I wish I could ride a horse into the sunset.

Poppinjay · 10-30-2008, 04:25 AM

You can, but you have a strange obsession with windmills. The windmills generally win.

I wish I had a million dollars. I'd buy you a K car.

Amaras · 10-30-2008, 05:28 AM

BareNaked Ladies sue for infringement. You are back to where you are.

I wish I had a real green coat.

Poppinjay · 10-30-2008, 07:23 AM

But not a real green coat, that's cruel!

I wish I had a bare, naked lady.

Amaras · 10-30-2008, 08:45 AM

After quickly dropping your Grandma to the floor, you go soak yourself in bleach.

I wish wishes COULD come true.

fresnelly · 10-30-2008, 09:40 AM

All wishes are now taxed.

I wish I could have my very own spaceship!

Dixy · 10-31-2008, 04:12 AM

You do - but the ship is not "space worthy".

I wish someone wants to fix my car's slow leak for me.

BadNick · 10-31-2008, 05:55 AM

Too slow? Here, let me speed that leak up for you...

I wish I was at the Phillies World Champions parade today instead of here in work.

jewels · 11-01-2008, 03:28 AM

You went to the Parade but had no time on the books and lost your job.

I wish I could fly.

BadNick · 11-01-2008, 09:05 AM

Bombs away, baby!...we're one parachute short but flap your arms as fast as you can.

I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger.

Dixy · 11-01-2008, 09:21 AM

Granted. Now you are a know-it-all, very uncool twerp everybody hates.

I wish the bullocks wants to stop jumping fences.

Dixy · 11-03-2008, 10:28 PM

Oops, look like my wish killed the game, let me make a new wish.

I wish for a tie in the presidential election!

BadNick · 11-04-2008, 04:03 PM

Here it is Nov.5th and the bullocks are still jumping fences and going crazy because now we have two presidents.

I wish the "news" would stop with all the useless b.s. and just wait until actual election results are in.

BadNick · 11-07-2008, 12:11 PM

My wish was granted. The "news" now also includes useful b.s.

I wish it never ended.

uncle phil · 11-07-2008, 12:57 PM

right, and infinity beckons...

does it make any difference who i are
if i wish upon a star?

Jetée · 11-07-2008, 01:16 PM

...Perhaps if you are
a Dinosaur
(hehe, sorry, I think I inadvertently called you old)

I wish I had a Milky Way™.

uncle phil · 11-07-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetée

(hehe, sorry, I think I inadvertently called you old)

my elephantine memory will remember that...

BadNick · 11-07-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetée

I wish I had a Milky Way™.

Here, I found one for you, Jet...but where the hell you gonna keep this thing?

I wish for the swish of the dish called Trish.

jewels · 11-15-2008, 03:11 AM

After being swished by Trish the Dish, you've been in a coma for several weeks now. I hope you come out soon.

I wish Luna the kitty would stop meowing outside my bedroom door and waking me up in the wee hours of the morning. And please don't tell me she's dead 'cause at this moment I wouldn't care.

energus · 11-15-2008, 05:32 AM

poof, Luna no longer meows but silently sh*ts in front of your door. Good morning on entering the Hall (luna smiles as you wipe the sh*t from your feet)

I wish the end of term meetings are over and done with

BadNick · 11-16-2008, 06:02 PM

Your wish is my command....you will never see an end of term again...they will just go on forever.

I wish it was snowing heavily outside.

fresnelly · 11-16-2008, 06:40 PM

It's the best ski season in years!

Don't worry though. I'm sure you'll have enough food to last until you can dig your way out of the house. It'll be tricky with only a spatula to do it, but still...

I wish I had a secret admirer.

Amaras · 11-16-2008, 07:01 PM

You do, and they remain so.

I wish for continued good health.

Dixy · 11-16-2008, 07:30 PM

Granted, too bad about the wealth and happiness.

I wish I understood teenagers.

BadNick · 11-17-2008, 08:04 AM

Your wish is granted. Start studying: for the next five years you are on a deserted island with a dozen teenagers.

I wish it was possible to travel a lot faster than the speed of light.

Dixy · 11-17-2008, 09:00 AM

Granted, but the G forces squashed you totally flat.

I wish for a house trained dog (Damnit!)

BadNick · 11-17-2008, 09:29 AM

Your wish is granted. House trains your dog and now it pisses on you every chance it gets and chuckles all the way to the dog house.

I wish I was a highly paid athlete.

Dixy · 11-17-2008, 11:40 AM

Granted, but the steroids kill you in a years time

I wish for constant electric supply

fresnelly · 11-17-2008, 01:17 PM

Shame about the constant flooding.

I wish work was more fun.

BadNick · 11-17-2008, 01:20 PM

Your new job title is Vice President of Fun ...and you'd better perform or next job cut will be you.

I wish I had a creamy vanilla ice cream with chopped roasted almonds in it.

Dixy · 11-18-2008, 12:07 PM

One of those "diet, lactose free jobs" that taste like straw.

I wish for an quiet evening just to watch the stars.....

BadNick · 11-19-2008, 05:11 AM

You are transported to the Hubble Space Telescope orbiting Earth and assigned to ride along with it forever...take a wrench so you can fix it.

I wish I was a great carpenter.

Dixy · 11-20-2008, 07:04 AM

You are, but there is no wood due to the green house effect.

I wish I could play the cello

BadNick · 11-20-2008, 07:10 AM

...but sadly it is a plastic cello since we have no more wood.

I wish I was having angel hair pasta with lemon shrimp for lunch today.

fresnelly · 11-20-2008, 08:04 AM

Who you calling "shrimp"? BIFF!! POW!! CRACK!!

I wish I owned a snowblower.

BadNick · 11-20-2008, 11:19 AM

Well Tony Montana shows up to be your snowblower, along with a dozen of his heavily armed best friends.

I wish I had a nice Cuban cigar to puff on.

10-29-2008, 07:33 AM	#41 (permalink)
Lucifer Husband of Seamaiden Location: Nova Scotia	Congratulations! You win the Pulitzer prize for Fiction, followed by 5 surgeries for carpal tunnel syndrome. I wish I owned a boat. __________________ I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321

10-29-2008, 08:09 AM	#42 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	As was your last will and testament, upon final corporeal request, here is thoust boat; may your flickering invisible spirit enjoy it eternally. I ask you to fulfill my current desire to destroy and rebuild my existence, thank you kindly. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

10-29-2008, 09:02 AM	#43 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Goodbye Jetee, hello Roy Cohn! I wish I were friends with Alicia Goranson. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

10-29-2008, 03:25 PM	#45 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	Poof. I did enjoy you with some sauerkraut and mustard. I wish I could ride a horse into the sunset. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

10-30-2008, 04:25 AM	#46 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	You can, but you have a strange obsession with windmills. The windmills generally win. I wish I had a million dollars. I'd buy you a K car. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

10-29-2008, 10:59 AM	#44 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Dear John....errrr I mean Poppinjay, It's not you, it's me...but can we still be friends? I'm having such a great time with my latest friend, Harley Kaplan. Keep this pic of us in your wallet. Luv ya. A.G. I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

10-30-2008, 05:28 AM	#47 (permalink)
Amaras Junkie Location: At my daughter's beck and call.	BareNaked Ladies sue for infringement. You are back to where you are. I wish I had a real green coat. __________________ Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state. -Noam Chomsky Love is a verb, not a noun. -My Mom The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later. -Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

10-30-2008, 07:23 AM	#48 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	But not a real green coat, that's cruel! I wish I had a bare, naked lady. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

10-30-2008, 08:45 AM	#49 (permalink)
Amaras Junkie Location: At my daughter's beck and call.	After quickly dropping your Grandma to the floor, you go soak yourself in bleach. I wish wishes COULD come true. __________________ Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state. -Noam Chomsky Love is a verb, not a noun. -My Mom The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later. -Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

10-30-2008, 09:40 AM	#50 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	All wishes are now taxed. I wish I could have my very own spaceship! __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

10-31-2008, 04:12 AM	#51 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	You do - but the ship is not "space worthy". I wish someone wants to fix my car's slow leak for me.

10-31-2008, 05:55 AM	#52 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Too slow? Here, let me speed that leak up for you... I wish I was at the Phillies World Champions parade today instead of here in work.

11-01-2008, 03:28 AM	#53 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	You went to the Parade but had no time on the books and lost your job. I wish I could fly. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

11-01-2008, 09:05 AM	#54 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Bombs away, baby!...we're one parachute short but flap your arms as fast as you can. I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger.

11-01-2008, 09:21 AM	#55 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Granted. Now you are a know-it-all, very uncool twerp everybody hates. I wish the bullocks wants to stop jumping fences.

11-07-2008, 12:57 PM	#59 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	right, and infinity beckons... does it make any difference who i are if i wish upon a star? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-03-2008, 10:28 PM	#56 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Oops, look like my wish killed the game, let me make a new wish. I wish for a tie in the presidential election!

11-04-2008, 04:03 PM	#57 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Here it is Nov.5th and the bullocks are still jumping fences and going crazy because now we have two presidents. I wish the "news" would stop with all the useless b.s. and just wait until actual election results are in.

11-07-2008, 12:11 PM	#58 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	My wish was granted. The "news" now also includes useful b.s. I wish it never ended.

11-07-2008, 01:16 PM	#60 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	...Perhaps if you are a Dinosaur (hehe, sorry, I think I inadvertently called you old) I wish I had a Milky Way™. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

11-15-2008, 03:11 AM	#63 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	After being swished by Trish the Dish, you've been in a coma for several weeks now. I hope you come out soon. I wish Luna the kitty would stop meowing outside my bedroom door and waking me up in the wee hours of the morning. And please don't tell me she's dead 'cause at this moment I wouldn't care. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

11-15-2008, 05:32 AM	#64 (permalink)
energus Tilted Location: Alphen aan den Rijn, the Netherlands (find it on a map, it is there (somewhere))	poof, Luna no longer meows but silently shts in front of your door. Good morning on entering the Hall (luna smiles as you wipe the sht from your feet) I wish the end of term meetings are over and done with __________________ Somnia, terrores magicos, miracula, sagas, Nocturnus lemures, portentaque. Horace

11-16-2008, 06:02 PM	#65 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Your wish is my command....you will never see an end of term again...they will just go on forever. I wish it was snowing heavily outside.

11-16-2008, 06:40 PM	#66 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	It's the best ski season in years! Don't worry though. I'm sure you'll have enough food to last until you can dig your way out of the house. It'll be tricky with only a spatula to do it, but still... I wish I had a secret admirer. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

11-16-2008, 07:01 PM	#67 (permalink)
Amaras Junkie Location: At my daughter's beck and call.	You do, and they remain so. I wish for continued good health. __________________ Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state. -Noam Chomsky Love is a verb, not a noun. -My Mom The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later. -Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

11-16-2008, 07:30 PM	#68 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Granted, too bad about the wealth and happiness. I wish I understood teenagers.

11-17-2008, 08:04 AM	#69 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Your wish is granted. Start studying: for the next five years you are on a deserted island with a dozen teenagers. I wish it was possible to travel a lot faster than the speed of light.

11-17-2008, 09:00 AM	#70 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Granted, but the G forces squashed you totally flat. I wish for a house trained dog (Damnit!)

11-17-2008, 09:29 AM	#71 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Your wish is granted. House trains your dog and now it pisses on you every chance it gets and chuckles all the way to the dog house. I wish I was a highly paid athlete.

11-17-2008, 11:40 AM	#72 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	Granted, but the steroids kill you in a years time I wish for constant electric supply

11-17-2008, 01:17 PM	#73 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	Shame about the constant flooding. I wish work was more fun. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

11-17-2008, 01:20 PM	#74 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	Your new job title is Vice President of Fun ...and you'd better perform or next job cut will be you. I wish I had a creamy vanilla ice cream with chopped roasted almonds in it.

11-18-2008, 12:07 PM	#75 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	One of those "diet, lactose free jobs" that taste like straw. I wish for an quiet evening just to watch the stars.....

11-19-2008, 05:11 AM	#76 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	You are transported to the Hubble Space Telescope orbiting Earth and assigned to ride along with it forever...take a wrench so you can fix it. I wish I was a great carpenter.

11-20-2008, 07:04 AM	#77 (permalink)
Dixy Upright	You are, but there is no wood due to the green house effect. I wish I could play the cello

11-20-2008, 07:10 AM	#78 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	...but sadly it is a plastic cello since we have no more wood. I wish I was having angel hair pasta with lemon shrimp for lunch today.