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Old 10-04-2008, 03:55 AM   #81 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillips
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 10-04-2008, 02:57 PM   #82 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-05-2008, 04:16 AM   #83 (permalink)
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I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off me, you two!" -- Emo Phillips
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-06-2008, 02:37 AM   #84 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-06-2008, 02:58 AM   #85 (permalink)
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Old 10-06-2008, 11:02 AM   #86 (permalink)
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Sometimes I wish I was a cat


Last edited by BadNick; 10-06-2008 at 11:05 AM..
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:34 AM   #87 (permalink)
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At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. -- Emo Phillips
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-07-2008, 03:58 PM   #88 (permalink)
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We went back to her apartment and went inside and she took off all her clothes and said, "It's your move," So I sacrificed her poodle to Zoltar the Space God.

- Got to love Emo
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Old 10-08-2008, 02:37 AM   #89 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-08-2008, 07:10 AM   #90 (permalink)
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Conjuring the Ultimate Emo Rock President:

http://www.centertheatregroup.org/up...nOWFeature.pdf
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:48 PM   #91 (permalink)
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and "tommy" would be the ultimate emo rock opera?

"see me, feel me, touch me, heal me..."
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-09-2008, 02:46 AM   #92 (permalink)
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I went to school, you know. I was in grammar school. Once we were taking a test. I was copying this other kid's paper, and I guess the teacher heard my Xerox machine. And she said, "Emo, am I stupid or were you cheating?" I said, "Ah, yes and no."

She sends me to the principal, and I get to his office and I sit down and he looks at me and says, "Emo, Emo, Emo." I said, "I'm the one in the middle, you drunken slob." He said, "How would you like to repeat the fifth grade?" I said, "Well, I don't know if I could do it exactly, uh, but I'll try." He said, "I could expel you!" I said, "You'll have to catch and eat me first, ya wierdo!" He said, "Emo, you have to go over to the school psychologist." I said, "Why do I have to go to the school psychologist?" So he shows me the petition.

And I go over to the psychologist, and he says, "Emo, what does this inkblot look like to you?" I said, "Oh, it's kind of embarrassing." He said, "Emo, everyone sees something, so don't be embarrassed. Tell me what the inkblot looks like to you." I said, "Well, to me it looks like standard pattern #3 in the Rorschach series to test obsessive compulsiveness." And he gets kind of depressed. I said, "Okay, it's a butterfly." And he cheers up. He said, "What does this inkblot look like?" I said, "It looks like a horrible ugly blob of pure evil that sucks the souls of man into a vortex of sin and degradation." He said, "No, um, the inkblot's over there. That's a photo of my wife you're looking at." "Oh," I said, "was I far off?" He said, "No. That's the sad part."

And he gives me a chocolate Easter bunny. And this shows how tricky those guys are. I eat the chocolate and I think, wait a second... this isn't around Easter. "Was this a test?" He said, "Yes." "And what does it mean?" He said, "Well, had you eaten the ears first you would have been normal; had you eaten the feet first you would have had an inferiority complex; had you eaten the tail first you would have had latent homosexual tendencies; and had you eaten the breasts first you would have had a latent oedipal complex." I said, "Well, go on. What does it mean when you bite out the eyes and scream, 'Stop staring at me!'?'" He says, "It shows you've a tendency towards self-destruction." I said, "What do you recommend?" He says, "Go for it!"
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-09-2008, 08:20 AM   #93 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle phil View Post
and "tommy" would be the ultimate emo rock opera?

"see me, feel me, touch me, heal me..."
Actually, Quadrophenia is probably more emo than Tommy. I'd have to read the liner notes again to argue it effectively, and this being nonsense, that would be inappropriate.

She had a heart shaped face. Not like the valentine; like the organ. Lopsided with veins all over it.
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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 10-10-2008, 02:20 AM   #94 (permalink)
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Once I went to the library. I said, "I'd like a book on the Heimlich anti-choking maneuver," and the guy said, "look at the card catalog. I'm busy." So I go to the card catalog. I look under Heimlich and choking and maneuver. It's not any of those places. And I see this first aid book with the section and I take it and that guy said, "It's a reference book. You can't take it out; you have to Xerox it." I said, "Do you have change for a dollar?" He said, "It's not a bank, it's a library." So I go tho this souvenir stand and I said, "Do you have change for a dollar?" They said, "It's not a bank, it's a souvenir stand." So I go to this bank, and they said, "Yes, this is a bank." And they give me the change and I come back to it. And by this time there's a line of students Xeroxing their books or whatever and I -- finally I Xerox the Heimlich. As I go back the guy says, "Put it back, now that you've used it." So I put it back. And as I leave, he says, "Thank you." I said, "Well, thank you! I'm never coming to this barn again." And I went back to my car. Now by this time, my sister's almost purple from the chicken bone...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-10-2008, 05:31 AM   #95 (permalink)
let me be clear
 
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Your Guide on How To Be Emo

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Old 10-10-2008, 05:55 AM   #96 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland


Sometimes, no matter how much one loves them, it's hard to not be disappointed in one's offspring.
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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 10-12-2008, 03:11 AM   #97 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-14-2008, 05:03 AM   #98 (permalink)
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New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-14-2008, 05:28 AM   #99 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
I was sitting in the park....
Minding my Own business.....
Starting at peoples' HEADs and trying to make their BRAINS Explode.

/ Thanks phil. This thread never fails to cheer me up.
// How Emo is that?
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 10-15-2008, 03:12 AM   #100 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-16-2008, 02:53 AM   #101 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-17-2008, 12:59 PM   #102 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
When I was in college, a buddy of mine asked another friend if he wanted to play beer pong. He said, "I'd rather have a tequila enema." My buddy said, "Lime and salt with that?" We ended up playing a memorably unrememberable game of pong.
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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 10-18-2008, 12:00 PM   #103 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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All this emo shit drives me to distraction, doing as it wishes.
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Old 10-22-2008, 03:15 AM   #104 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 11:01 AM   #105 (permalink)
Riding the Ocean Spray
 
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the rays:

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Old 10-27-2008, 11:58 AM   #106 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?" And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 01-08-2009, 10:47 AM   #107 (permalink)
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I didn't know where else to post this new discovery. I think I'd call it Emo Eve:

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Old 01-11-2009, 12:21 PM   #108 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
ooohh, it's been so long...


__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 01-11-2009, 06:06 PM   #109 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:41 AM   #110 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle phil View Post
i uhhh, really wanna do this chick.


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I only came to dance.

Last edited by Not Right Now; 01-12-2009 at 11:50 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:51 AM   #111 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 01-12-2009, 07:36 PM   #112 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 01-13-2009, 02:02 PM   #113 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophat665 View Post
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
or being sexually molested by the janitor with no teeth.
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Old 01-13-2009, 02:06 PM   #114 (permalink)
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...along the same theme, I had a friend who often paid a hooker down on Locust St. in Philly for "gum jobs" that she apparently offered since her teeth came out.
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Old 01-13-2009, 02:19 PM   #115 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Far Away
How much Nick?
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I only came to dance.
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:41 PM   #116 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers. Damn anthropologists.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:44 PM   #117 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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damn girls...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 01-13-2009, 04:05 PM   #118 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Far Away
Normally they just use me for sex and alcohol... I'd cut myself and cry about but it's pretty bitchin'
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I only came to dance.
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Old 01-13-2009, 06:52 PM   #119 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Women? A Mistake? Or did He do it to us on Purpose. (Jack at his most ,,, whatever it is that he is.)
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 01-18-2009, 02:04 PM   #120 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
 

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