All Your Emo Shit Goes Here - Page 4 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tophat665 · 01-18-2009, 07:10 PM

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

Not Right Now · 01-18-2009, 07:12 PM

That's not even emo, that's just fucked up.

Tophat665 · 01-19-2009, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Right Now

That's not even emo, that's just fucked up.

That is indeed Emo. This emo:

Not Right Now · 01-19-2009, 08:47 PM

He looks like a magician who does magic tricks for the sole purpose of molesting children.

Plan9 · 01-19-2009, 08:49 PM

Ronny James Dio was emo before emo was emo.

He's a Rainbow in the Dark.

Example:

kramus · 01-19-2009, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

That was a genuine LOL for me, Tophat

I'll have to put that one in the memory banks for whenever a spin on morality is called for.

Tophat665 · 01-20-2009, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

Ronny James Dio was emo before emo was emo.

He's a Rainbow in the Dark.

It's no Mystery why RJD was always picked Last In Line:
He's really, really Short.

I suppose that could make him sad.

Kramus: Emo is a twisted Genius
-----Added 20/1/2009 at 08 : 50 : 45-----

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Right Now

He looks like a magician who does magic tricks for the sole purpose of molesting children.

Hey boys and Girls! How would you like to see your Uncle Emo pull a spitting cobra out of his pocket? Look! It's an albino.

Not Right Now · 01-21-2009, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665

Hey boys and Girls! How would you like to see your Uncle Emo pull a spitting cobra out of his pocket? Look! It's an albino.

...fuck

Plan9 · 01-21-2009, 08:37 AM

Yeah, that was pretty great.

Tophat665 · 01-21-2009, 10:09 AM

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

uncle phil · 01-22-2009, 02:04 PM

Tophat665 · 01-22-2009, 05:18 PM

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

uncle phil · 01-23-2009, 01:16 PM

large?

gay?

emo?

Tophat665 · 01-23-2009, 02:35 PM

My wife wanted me to play doctor in bed. I said, "Pathologist?"
/ Not Emo, but it should be.
-----Added 23/1/2009 at 05 : 36 : 07-----
Wait, Liberace was Gay!!!? Huh. Never would have guessed.

uncle phil · 01-28-2009, 02:44 PM

yup, so was he...

Not Right Now · 01-30-2009, 07:14 PM

that's not emo unc, that's homoerotic

Plan9 · 01-30-2009, 08:13 PM

This thread makes me feel like painting my fingernails black and putting money into the stock market... so it'll FAIL... just like my hopes and dreams.

uncle phil · 02-03-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

This thread makes me feel like painting my fingernails black and putting money into the stock market... so it'll FAIL... just like my hopes and dreams.

sing along with me...

"when you wish upon a star..."

Plan9 · 02-03-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil

sing along with me...

"when you wish upon a star..."

... my IRA value will drop real far.

Down and down, it'll spiral away.

After this last girl, I wish I was gay.

Happier I'd be... castrated and alone.

My soul is black and so is my cell phone.

It never rings, no one calls.

My life is just a kick in the balls.

Oh, bother.

...

Ooo, I just emo'd the hell outta everybody.

Thanks, I'll be here all week!

Tophat665 · 02-03-2009, 03:44 PM

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid ... and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.

Not Right Now · 02-03-2009, 10:43 PM

I might paint my nails black... then punch some emus in the face.

Tophat665 · 02-04-2009, 07:41 PM

My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.

Plan9 · 02-04-2009, 07:56 PM

I bought this girlfriend lingerie once. It had brightly colored humans skulls on it.

Because I associate sex with the massacre of a million of my potential offspring.

So sad, really. A million little white-capped Micheal Phelps paddling along to their demise.

And what better to adorn the source of human creation, the vajayjay, than the symbol of death?

We had a fight over my nail polish color and her constantly calling me Micheal Constantine.

So I put it in the trash one night -- while I was leaving -- under some empty cans of Chunky soup.

How fitting. Perhaps a transvestite hobo is wearing it right now. And thinking of me.

Tophat665 · 02-04-2009, 10:08 PM

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.

uncle phil · 04-26-2010, 12:54 PM

emo - 1.jpg

Tophat665 · 04-27-2010, 05:49 AM

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

FuglyStick · 04-27-2010, 08:17 AM

uncle phil · 05-11-2010, 01:18 PM

emo - 2.jpg

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-11-2010, 01:45 PM

I want to believe it will all work out.

uncle phil · 05-19-2010, 02:31 AM

emo - 3.jpg

ring · 05-19-2010, 10:33 AM

Phil....Oh i dunno, this is just so sad. I am full up to here with sad, I shouldn't have clicked on this thread.
So, here's some more sad:

I spilled a pot of boiling water on my left leg and foot on May 1'st.
It hurt.
The blisters are healing. It's safe to pick at them now.

Tophat665 · 05-19-2010, 10:41 AM

A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

---------- Post added at 02:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 PM ----------

Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!

ring · 05-19-2010, 10:47 AM

Hey! Top! That's almost as funny as your ' snake-vest' joke.

That one is priceless, thanks for the big grin, I needed that.

Tophat665 · 05-19-2010, 10:52 AM

I died, and I'm in the waiting room in heaven. And Jesus walks in behind me-but I didn't know it was him, I said, "Close the door, what were you born in a barn?" And I look...

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-25-2010, 03:40 PM

Damnit, Tophat, you just TOTALLY SCREWED a ridiculous, maudlin thought. -Thanks.

Tophat665 · 05-25-2010, 03:43 PM

Ahh, but it's Emo.
I like breasts, but more than a forkful is a waste.

ring · 05-25-2010, 03:50 PM

Hey there, I was just thinking that the Hallmark channel should be
re-named the Maudlin channel.

When I kill the television, I will do it so it doesn't suffer much.

One swift jab to the throat should do it;
wait, I might hurt my hand.

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-25-2010, 03:53 PM

I always suspected the right hormone.

ring · 05-25-2010, 03:58 PM

"There's too much violins on tv." - Emily Litella

Plan9 · 05-25-2010, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent Partner

Your love claws at my insides
Your laughter’s always close
My life’s filled with uncertainty
Your eyes are full of ghosts
You’re so far from me now
And I can feel you coming
Wrapped in winter’s cold, yeah
Yes, I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
Come to take me home
And I can hear your voice
And I can feel your fingers
In these darkened labyrinth hallways
Your scent so maddeningly lingers
I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
You make me drunk and delirious
I know you’re always close
My life’s filled with uncertainty
Your eyes are full of ghosts
And I can feel you coming
Wrapped in winter’s cold
Yes, I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
Come to take me home

Damien Nichols via Michale Graves

01-18-2009, 07:10 PM	#121 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-18-2009, 07:12 PM	#122 (permalink)
Not Right Now Insane Location: Far Away	That's not even emo, that's just fucked up. __________________ I only came to dance.

01-19-2009, 08:47 PM	#124 (permalink)
Not Right Now Insane Location: Far Away	He looks like a magician who does magic tricks for the sole purpose of molesting children. __________________ I only came to dance.

01-19-2009, 08:49 PM	#125 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Ronny James Dio was emo before emo was emo. He's a Rainbow in the Dark. Example: __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

01-21-2009, 08:37 AM	#129 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Yeah, that was pretty great. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

01-21-2009, 10:09 AM	#130 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-22-2009, 02:04 PM	#131 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	__________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-22-2009, 05:18 PM	#132 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-23-2009, 01:16 PM	#133 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	large? gay? emo? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-23-2009, 02:35 PM	#134 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	My wife wanted me to play doctor in bed. I said, "Pathologist?" / Not Emo, but it should be. -----Added 23/1/2009 at 05 : 36 : 07----- Wait, Liberace was Gay!!!? Huh. Never would have guessed. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 01-23-2009 at 02:36 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

01-28-2009, 02:44 PM	#135 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	yup, so was he... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-30-2009, 07:14 PM	#136 (permalink)
Not Right Now Insane Location: Far Away	that's not emo unc, that's homoerotic __________________ I only came to dance.

01-30-2009, 08:13 PM	#137 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	This thread makes me feel like painting my fingernails black and putting money into the stock market... so it'll FAIL... just like my hopes and dreams. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

02-03-2009, 03:44 PM	#140 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid ... and her nose was shot off by French soldiers. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

02-03-2009, 10:43 PM	#141 (permalink)
Not Right Now Insane Location: Far Away	I might paint my nails black... then punch some emus in the face. __________________ I only came to dance.

02-04-2009, 07:41 PM	#142 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

02-04-2009, 07:56 PM	#143 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	I bought this girlfriend lingerie once. It had brightly colored humans skulls on it. Because I associate sex with the massacre of a million of my potential offspring. So sad, really. A million little white-capped Micheal Phelps paddling along to their demise. And what better to adorn the source of human creation, the vajayjay, than the symbol of death? We had a fight over my nail polish color and her constantly calling me Micheal Constantine. So I put it in the trash one night -- while I was leaving -- under some empty cans of Chunky soup. How fitting. Perhaps a transvestite hobo is wearing it right now. And thinking of me. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 02-04-2009 at 08:18 PM..

02-04-2009, 10:08 PM	#144 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

04-26-2010, 12:54 PM	#145 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	emo - 1.jpg __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

04-27-2010, 05:49 AM	#146 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

04-27-2010, 08:17 AM	#147 (permalink)
FuglyStick WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE! Location: Southern Illinois	__________________ AZIZ! LIGHT!

05-11-2010, 01:18 PM	#148 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	emo - 2.jpg __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

05-11-2010, 01:45 PM	#149 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	I want to believe it will all work out. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-19-2010, 02:31 AM	#150 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	emo - 3.jpg __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

05-19-2010, 10:33 AM	#151 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Phil....Oh i dunno, this is just so sad. I am full up to here with sad, I shouldn't have clicked on this thread. So, here's some more sad: I spilled a pot of boiling water on my left leg and foot on May 1'st. It hurt. The blisters are healing. It's safe to pick at them now. Last edited by ring; 05-19-2010 at 10:35 AM..

05-19-2010, 10:41 AM	#152 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..." ---------- Post added at 02:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 PM ---------- Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them! __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

05-19-2010, 10:47 AM	#153 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Hey! Top! That's almost as funny as your ' snake-vest' joke. That one is priceless, thanks for the big grin, I needed that.

05-19-2010, 10:52 AM	#154 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I died, and I'm in the waiting room in heaven. And Jesus walks in behind me-but I didn't know it was him, I said, "Close the door, what were you born in a barn?" And I look... __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

05-25-2010, 03:40 PM	#155 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Damnit, Tophat, you just TOTALLY SCREWED a ridiculous, maudlin thought. -Thanks. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-25-2010, 03:43 PM	#156 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Ahh, but it's Emo. I like breasts, but more than a forkful is a waste. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

05-25-2010, 03:50 PM	#157 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Hey there, I was just thinking that the Hallmark channel should be re-named the Maudlin channel. When I kill the television, I will do it so it doesn't suffer much. One swift jab to the throat should do it; wait, I might hurt my hand.

05-25-2010, 03:53 PM	#158 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	I always suspected the right hormone. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-25-2010, 03:58 PM	#159 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	"There's too much violins on tv." - Emily Litella