Sparhawk

So I've been on this diet for a while now, and it's working out pretty well. I try to eat 2 hard-boiled egg whites a day to get some protein. Well, I boil them a dozen at a time. So there I am one night boiling some eggs when I go do the 'getting ready for bed' routine. Well, after coming out of the bathroom I just switch off the kitchen light and head to bed.

Well, when I woke up the next morning, I was greeting with this overpowering stench of Burnt Egg. I walk into the kitchen, and there's egg all over the stove. On the stove light above. On my fridge. On my floor. I look up. Covered my ceiling. The pot had about 3 inches of egg ash in it. To sum up: My kitchen, my studio, my clothes, everything smelled like Burnt Egg.

I managed to Febreeze most everything, but that kitchen still smelled like Burnt Egg until I bleached it.

I am now obscenely paranoid whenever I boil eggs, for hopefully obvious reasons...

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gov135

I think that once you make a cooking mistake, you won't make the same one again.

I'm particularly paranoid about making sure cake is cooked through.

I also have learned the hard way to always set a timer! They are annoying when they go off, but they are worth it.

human

Background : My gf loves the spicy food, I, not so much, but I do like to make her happy...

Once upon a time, I decide to make a spicy mango shrimp dish. I go to the grocery store and make my purchases, there are no jalepeneos, so I pick up a couple of moderatly innocuous looking chilies.

I get home, make the preparations and begin cooking, not knowing how hot the peppers I bought were, I added less than a half of one pepper into the mix. You can always add more, but it's kinda difficult to get it out. After adding the pepper to the pan, I go outside for a minute to check on something. I come back inside and start sneezing. My eyes begin to water, it feels like the air has turned into pepper spray.

Being the dutiful cook I am, I finished up the cooking and set it aside. We sat down to eat. Eyes cleared up and I thought no more of it.

She loved it, after trying the first one, said, "A little spicy, but good"

They burned, but overall it tasted good.

Fast forward 3 hours later, after a workout in the pool and a post swimming shower. I take my contacts off and go to bed.

Get up the next morning to put my contacts on, no sooner does the first one hit my eye than I'm on the floor in agony. I get it out as quickly as I can. I wash it, figuring there was some dust in there. After cleaning it I try to put it in again and it hurts just as much the second time. On a hunch, I check my hands. After 1 hour in a pool, a long shower and 8 hours of sleep, there was still pepper oil in my fingers. It took more than 3 days to get it out of my fingernails.

Lesson to self, never, NEVER cook spicy crap with unknown peppers with contacts on.

Cynthetiq

I tried to reheat a hardboiled egg (still in shell) in the microwave... it exploded and broke the glass it was in to boot.

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Charlatan

My mother likes to tell the story of when she was first married and wanted to make a pumpkin pie for my dad.

She used a frozen pie shell and poured in a can of pumpkin pie mix. Popped it in the oven at the right temperature and when the time was up... The pie shell was nice and brown but the filling was still raw.

She left it in for a few more minutes... still raw.

A few more... still raw...

She thoroughly burns the pie shell... STILL raw.

Finally, re-checks the can... D'OH! You are supposed to add a number of ingredients to the stuff that comes out of the can.

She feels like an idiot. She can hear my dad pulling up in the driveway. She panics.

She grabs the "pie" and runs to the bedroom and stuffs it into a suitcase.

My Dad walks in and asks if something is burning...

She didn't reveal this to him until long, long after the divorce...

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kajagoogoo

cleaning up boiled over milk (from making dessert) for 45 mins out of cooking range!

cheese

cooking realy fatty bacon Without a shirt on.....thats some pain.

ohh once i was making tea on the stove and fogot about the kettle. It had no wistle and i was watching TV. About 2 hours later i remember the fucking thing. Burntef the living hell out my mothers COPPER TEA KETTLE! needless to say she was pissed

hotdogg

There was a lobster tank in the restauarant. The lobsters start to get a greenish color to them (from algae) and do not look to appetizing. Every once in a while one of the kitchen staff would get the job of brushing the lobsters off with a fine bristle brush so that they looked more presentable...the lobster tank was in the front as you came in the front door of the restaurant.

The job was given to one of the new kitchen staff and he did not have a great command of the english language. He decides to be more effiecient and loads about 40 lobsters on dish racks and sends them through our commercial dish washer. Needless to say these poor critters went for a 2 minute ride thru soap, disenfectant and 190 degree water.

They of course all died...We tried everything to salvalge what we could but the meat tasted like dishsoap and all went in the garbage.

Pellaz

During a brief fascination with halbenero <sp> peppers, I decided to make some ground red pepper out of a string that I had dried. My mistake? The food processor wasn't airtight. The powder wafted the the whole house, making it completely uninhabital for close to six hours.

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mtsgsd

My family still talks about the first time my mom tried to make chili from scratch. It called for a clove of garlic and she thought this meant the whole head of garlic!

The chili was so hot and strong we almost couldn't eat it, but we all agreed it was the best damn chili we ever had! :LOL:

Only trouble is, that doesn't seem to be the only mistake she had made. She's tried many times since then to duplicate that chili and has never been able to!

Dilbert1234567

i once left a range on full power for more then a day until it was time to clean the range, burned my hand prety bad

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pimpda9

about 4 years ago, and friend and I were preparing a Flambay (spellig error?). And we bought some good brandy, and forgot how much to guy told us to use...one teaspoon or one cup? So I said the hell with it and poured around a cup in. We put all our cooked food in a glass casserole dish, light a match, and a fireball about the size of my head flew up into the air right in front of our faces and shattered the glass casserole dish! good thing it was his roommates'.

Needless to say we never tried flambay again.

It was really funny though!

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mtsgsd

Just remembered another that I was probably blocking...

I had a bunch of friends over for barbecue and really messed up. I'm known for being pretty good at it, but this time I decided to experiment.
oy.

I made my usual stuffed hamburgers, but with 90% lean beef. Came out like bricks.

I also made chicken kabobs, and tried marinating the chicken like I'd seen on TV. Some in Lemon juice, some in Lime.

Problem was that the chicken turns white from the juice so... I took the kabobs off the grill way before they were completely cooked. Got a lot of queasy looks around the table.

The only saving grace was that years earlier, I had been a guest at their first formal dinner (held for the everyone standing at the wedding) and she served a near-raw roast. Same queasy looks.
I told her we were even now.

Jonnymax

12 years old ( I got an early start)

making pancakes from scratch.

Batter would not thicken when I added the flour. so thinking I got the measuring wrong, I kept adding more. well after a couple extra cups.... I was wondering what the hell was going on, so I look at the flour in the canister, notice another canister nearby with similar stuff, taste the batter, and realize that I had added 4+ cups of powdered sugar and no flour.

Luckily I did salvage the mess somewhat, masde some extra sweet pancakes after adding some actual flour to the mix =:-p

yoshi

My first time making gravy when I was in college--not good. I was visiting my parents and brought a friend home from school. I told mom I would make dinner for everyone. So when I started on the gravy, as I was stirring in the flour, nothing happened. It wasn't getting thick or anything. So I thought, hmmm, maybe I'll keep adding more flour. BIG MISTAKE lol!!! Finally after putting a lot of flour in and letting it simmer and cook, I ended up with, well, basically mud. It was awful, it was so thick that I couldn't even scoop it out of the pan and it wouldn't leave the spoon. Needless to say, I haven't made that mistake again.

PayUp

when marinating with acid the "turning white" is actually cooking the chicken meat.
you can marinate fish in a liquid with lots of lemon or lime and never have to actually put the fish to a source of heat. the acids are strong and same thing actually cooks the fish. very tastey if done correctly

ggadgit

I would have to say mine was cooking some rice-a-roni at a frieds one time, both of us very poor and very hungry and came up with the idea of putting some hot sauce into the mix as we liked spicy food well a lot of hot sauce hit a very hot skillet and instant pepper spray steam!!

Bossnass

I was helping to prepare the first Easter turkey dinner of this generation (the task used to fall on the grandparents, it usually is taken care of by the parents group, things worked out that the young couples had to step up).

Everything went pretty smoothly, untill I tried to make 'yorshires'. I have seen it done many times, heating up the oil in the muffin tins, pouring dollops of batter into the hot oil, etc.

I don't know what I did wrong, perhaps the oven was too hot, but when I opened the oven to remove the hot pan (partly filled with oil), it created a pretty good fireball. The door was blown back hard enough to bruise my legs, the arm hair between my shirtsleeves and oven mitts is mostly singed off, but thats about it.

No serious damage to myself or the oven but it was pretty intense for a second there. I didn't finish making them.

davik

Was living in student housing during an internship one year, 6 guys sharing an apartment, and one night I decide to make sauted portabello mushroom to put on top of my pasta. I add butter to the skillet, and add the mushrooms with a spice mix largely consisting of black pepper and crushed red pepper (hey, I like spicey food), with a couple of other spices to compliment the pasta sauce. The problem, however, was in the fact that putting that much hot pepper into a very hot skillet created a yellowish cloud of pepper gas which managed to gas all of my roommates out of the apartment. I exercised a little stoicism and stood there sneezing and coughing until it was done :P Tasted really good though
My other story is from when I was about 10 and was over at my grandmother's. I went to make something in the oven and just switched it to preheat without looking inside. It turns out that for some reason my grandmother stored pans and the like in the oven. It wouldn't have been a big deal save for the fact that one of them was a plastic bacon tray for cooking bacon in the microwave. Needless to say that was a smokey disgusting mess.

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nosuchuserexist

For big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas my grandma would make a lot of stuff the day before and store it in the fridge covered in plastic. One of the staples of Thanksgiving was sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping. Well, we didn't realize until the first person tried to scoop out a helping of the dish that there was a now invisible layer of saran wrap on top of the marshmallows.

My wife and I combined forces on this past sunday to almost burn the crap out of my legs. Through a series of events, my wife added 2 times the correct amount of liquids to the potatoes au gratin and after 20 minutes of baking it was still almost as runny as when we put it in. Our friend had the idea to pull it out and use a baster to suck out some of the liquid. So I opened the oven, pulled out the rack that the baking dish was on and realized that I needed another hot pad to pull out the baking dish. As I turned away from it, the rack tipped and the dish fell down on to the door of the oven spilling scalding potato au gratin liquid all over the floor and oven door. Turns out, when I shuffled the racks around earlier I didn't get that one in right and it wasn't supported in the back to keep it from tipping. I just glad it waited until I was a couple feet away.

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