Butterflies... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

indigochild111 · 01-04-2006, 11:02 PM

You know that feeling...when it feels like the pit of your stomach drops out and there are a million tiny butterflies inside? I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like actually. And then, all of a sudden it crept up on me like a ton of bricks. Wham! I very recently met this guy through a friend. But within minutes of talking to him, I just felt..something. Now, let me give you a bit of background information about myself. I am not one to fall quickly in and out of love, or relationships for that matter. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm cool and collected with my emotions, I never show more than I want and I am always in control. So the fact that this has just crept up on me so suddenly makes me incredibly nervous. And I really don't know what to do.

He showed the possibility of being interested in me as well. So far, we've hung out twice (with groups of people), and both times we've ended up holding hands or cuddling. Nothing beyond this has happened, and to be perfectly honest I'm glad. This makes me think that he was not just trying to get in my pants but that he is genuinely interested. Now, unfortunately I am second-guessing myself. I was recently involved in a somewhat similar situation, minus the ton of bricks feeling. And that situation was a bit more physical. But, that person doesn't really talk to me with the exception of when we end up together in some sort of group and end up making out. I get the feeling that he just wanted to get some. I don't think this new guy is like that...and my friend who knows him says he isn't. But I still wonder. I mean, do people show affection towards someone and then not really want anything with them? Even if the affection is not sexual??

Honestly, I think what I fear more than rejection is this seemingly irrational feeling that I am currently experiencing. I don't like not being in control of my feelings. My friend says it's time to grow up. Maybe I should just see where this takes me. Maybe if I let go for a while, I can actually find something regardless of what that something is. But regardless of his feelings for me, I know that things need to be slow. I still need time for myself. Time to grow and time to heal. Maybe butterflies are a sign of healing...I don't know

maleficent · 01-05-2006, 03:21 AM

butterflies are a good sign of healing- -that perhaps you have a tingling of interest in this fella... Enjoy those feelings...

Not every meeting has to turn into a great romance or one of the greatest relationships of all time -- it can just be fun while you go whereever it takes you...

There are some guys out there who are 'gentlemen' for lack of a better term... that understand the need to take things slowly and aren't all about just jumping your bones and adding a notch to their bedpost... Sounds like you may have found one of those elusive creatures...

From personal experience, I would say, open yourself up to what might happen with this guy... you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.. even if it's just a little more confidence in yourself...

Lead543 · 01-05-2006, 10:44 AM

Butterflies are like a form of intuition. When you know something big and exciting is going to happen but you're still a tad nervous... that's when the butterflies come around for me.

We actually learned about this in Women's Studies today.

Fear of rejection is a perfectly rational fear, nobody likes to be rejected but, if you never put yourself in that position to be rejected, you'll never know if you could've been accepted.

You do need to take control of your feelings, they're yours. You can choose how you want to react to different situations which in the end influences how you feel.

Just, don't be afraid to put yourself out there, like mal said, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

shesus · 01-05-2006, 10:55 AM

Butterflies are awesome. I still get them with jj and we've been together for almost 7 years.
I'd say follow your intuition and see where it leads. It could be just a fun time or something more, but if you don't try, you'll never know. I've always lived my life trying to have no regrets. It hasn't done any damage yet and I have no regrets of any action I've ever taken in my life.

Go for it, have fun, and see what comes. And see, you were scared of being alone. I told you that something will happen when you least expect it.

ColonelSpecial · 01-05-2006, 03:04 PM

Oh man! I am going through the same thing right now. I had known this guy for a year and we were just aquaintence friends and then all of a sudden he would walk into the restaurant where I work and BAM I would get nervous and have the butterfly feelings. I understand completely where you are coming from about the rejection and wanting to make sure that this guy isn't just trying to score with you. I felt the same way but he has shown me that I am just overanalyzing things like I always do and things are fine. So please, enjoy things and I wish you the best of luck.

01-04-2006, 11:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
indigochild111 Crazy	Butterflies... You know that feeling...when it feels like the pit of your stomach drops out and there are a million tiny butterflies inside? I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like actually. And then, all of a sudden it crept up on me like a ton of bricks. Wham! I very recently met this guy through a friend. But within minutes of talking to him, I just felt..something. Now, let me give you a bit of background information about myself. I am not one to fall quickly in and out of love, or relationships for that matter. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm cool and collected with my emotions, I never show more than I want and I am always in control. So the fact that this has just crept up on me so suddenly makes me incredibly nervous. And I really don't know what to do. He showed the possibility of being interested in me as well. So far, we've hung out twice (with groups of people), and both times we've ended up holding hands or cuddling. Nothing beyond this has happened, and to be perfectly honest I'm glad. This makes me think that he was not just trying to get in my pants but that he is genuinely interested. Now, unfortunately I am second-guessing myself. I was recently involved in a somewhat similar situation, minus the ton of bricks feeling. And that situation was a bit more physical. But, that person doesn't really talk to me with the exception of when we end up together in some sort of group and end up making out. I get the feeling that he just wanted to get some. I don't think this new guy is like that...and my friend who knows him says he isn't. But I still wonder. I mean, do people show affection towards someone and then not really want anything with them? Even if the affection is not sexual?? Honestly, I think what I fear more than rejection is this seemingly irrational feeling that I am currently experiencing. I don't like not being in control of my feelings. My friend says it's time to grow up. Maybe I should just see where this takes me. Maybe if I let go for a while, I can actually find something regardless of what that something is. But regardless of his feelings for me, I know that things need to be slow. I still need time for myself. Time to grow and time to heal. Maybe butterflies are a sign of healing...I don't know __________________ Breathe out, So I can breathe you in Hold you in

01-05-2006, 03:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	butterflies are a good sign of healing- -that perhaps you have a tingling of interest in this fella... Enjoy those feelings... Not every meeting has to turn into a great romance or one of the greatest relationships of all time -- it can just be fun while you go whereever it takes you... There are some guys out there who are 'gentlemen' for lack of a better term... that understand the need to take things slowly and aren't all about just jumping your bones and adding a notch to their bedpost... Sounds like you may have found one of those elusive creatures... From personal experience, I would say, open yourself up to what might happen with this guy... you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.. even if it's just a little more confidence in yourself... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-05-2006, 10:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	Butterflies are awesome. I still get them with jj and we've been together for almost 7 years. I'd say follow your intuition and see where it leads. It could be just a fun time or something more, but if you don't try, you'll never know. I've always lived my life trying to have no regrets. It hasn't done any damage yet and I have no regrets of any action I've ever taken in my life. Go for it, have fun, and see what comes. And see, you were scared of being alone. I told you that something will happen when you least expect it. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

01-05-2006, 03:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
ColonelSpecial Insane	Oh man! I am going through the same thing right now. I had known this guy for a year and we were just aquaintence friends and then all of a sudden he would walk into the restaurant where I work and BAM I would get nervous and have the butterfly feelings. I understand completely where you are coming from about the rejection and wanting to make sure that this guy isn't just trying to score with you. I felt the same way but he has shown me that I am just overanalyzing things like I always do and things are fine. So please, enjoy things and I wish you the best of luck. __________________ "Mommy, the presidents are squishing me!" "Using the pull out method of contraceptive is like saying I won't use a seat belt, I'll just jump out of the car before it hits that tree." Sara

01-05-2006, 10:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	Butterflies are like a form of intuition. When you know something big and exciting is going to happen but you're still a tad nervous... that's when the butterflies come around for me. We actually learned about this in Women's Studies today. Fear of rejection is a perfectly rational fear, nobody likes to be rejected but, if you never put yourself in that position to be rejected, you'll never know if you could've been accepted. You do need to take control of your feelings, they're yours. You can choose how you want to react to different situations which in the end influences how you feel. Just, don't be afraid to put yourself out there, like mal said, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.