Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

indigochild111 · 01-04-2006, 11:02 PM

You know that feeling...when it feels like the pit of your stomach drops out and there are a million tiny butterflies inside? I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like actually. And then, all of a sudden it crept up on me like a ton of bricks. Wham! I very recently met this guy through a friend. But within minutes of talking to him, I just felt..something. Now, let me give you a bit of background information about myself. I am not one to fall quickly in and out of love, or relationships for that matter. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm cool and collected with my emotions, I never show more than I want and I am always in control. So the fact that this has just crept up on me so suddenly makes me incredibly nervous. And I really don't know what to do.

He showed the possibility of being interested in me as well. So far, we've hung out twice (with groups of people), and both times we've ended up holding hands or cuddling. Nothing beyond this has happened, and to be perfectly honest I'm glad. This makes me think that he was not just trying to get in my pants but that he is genuinely interested. Now, unfortunately I am second-guessing myself. I was recently involved in a somewhat similar situation, minus the ton of bricks feeling. And that situation was a bit more physical. But, that person doesn't really talk to me with the exception of when we end up together in some sort of group and end up making out. I get the feeling that he just wanted to get some. I don't think this new guy is like that...and my friend who knows him says he isn't. But I still wonder. I mean, do people show affection towards someone and then not really want anything with them? Even if the affection is not sexual??

Honestly, I think what I fear more than rejection is this seemingly irrational feeling that I am currently experiencing. I don't like not being in control of my feelings. My friend says it's time to grow up. Maybe I should just see where this takes me. Maybe if I let go for a while, I can actually find something regardless of what that something is. But regardless of his feelings for me, I know that things need to be slow. I still need time for myself. Time to grow and time to heal. Maybe butterflies are a sign of healing...I don't know

01-04-2006, 11:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
indigochild111 Crazy	Butterflies... You know that feeling...when it feels like the pit of your stomach drops out and there are a million tiny butterflies inside? I haven't felt that feeling in a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like actually. And then, all of a sudden it crept up on me like a ton of bricks. Wham! I very recently met this guy through a friend. But within minutes of talking to him, I just felt..something. Now, let me give you a bit of background information about myself. I am not one to fall quickly in and out of love, or relationships for that matter. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm cool and collected with my emotions, I never show more than I want and I am always in control. So the fact that this has just crept up on me so suddenly makes me incredibly nervous. And I really don't know what to do. He showed the possibility of being interested in me as well. So far, we've hung out twice (with groups of people), and both times we've ended up holding hands or cuddling. Nothing beyond this has happened, and to be perfectly honest I'm glad. This makes me think that he was not just trying to get in my pants but that he is genuinely interested. Now, unfortunately I am second-guessing myself. I was recently involved in a somewhat similar situation, minus the ton of bricks feeling. And that situation was a bit more physical. But, that person doesn't really talk to me with the exception of when we end up together in some sort of group and end up making out. I get the feeling that he just wanted to get some. I don't think this new guy is like that...and my friend who knows him says he isn't. But I still wonder. I mean, do people show affection towards someone and then not really want anything with them? Even if the affection is not sexual?? Honestly, I think what I fear more than rejection is this seemingly irrational feeling that I am currently experiencing. I don't like not being in control of my feelings. My friend says it's time to grow up. Maybe I should just see where this takes me. Maybe if I let go for a while, I can actually find something regardless of what that something is. But regardless of his feelings for me, I know that things need to be slow. I still need time for myself. Time to grow and time to heal. Maybe butterflies are a sign of healing...I don't know __________________ Breathe out, So I can breathe you in Hold you in