Sage

So today (actually, really early this morning after the sun came up but before any breakfast resturants were open) Martel and I were driving around downtown Asheville, and lo and behold, up there on the "Upcoming Events" board at the Civic Center, was a wedding. Not just a one day affair, either, but a F/S/S weekend type of wedding at the CIVIC CENTER which holds, oh.... seven thousand people! So our jaws collectively dropped, and I have spent the rest of today wondering just what kind of a couple holds their wedding at the Civic Center (minimum cost to rent per day for non-ticketed event: $2500)?

What's the biggest wedding you ladies have been to/been in/had/heard of? Martel and I eloped, and his best friend's brother is getting married in July with about four hundred guests, which is about as big as I've ever personally heard of. Everyone on TFP seems to have wedding fever lately, so I wanna open up some general wedding discussion with you wonderful gals!

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amonkie

Biggest wedding I've been to I think had 450 guests. Biggest wedding I've played for had about 600.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Sage

What is it like to have 600 people at your wedding? I mean, do you even get the chance to greet each and every single person who actually showed up? Wouldn't you be so tired at the end of the day you couldn't possibly be able to appreciate what just happened?

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amonkie

It wasn't my wedding... but it was a LONG reception- they had so many people they had to wait forever for everyone to go through the recieiving line, and they hadn't actually planned on that many people coming, and didn't have enough cake. It was interesting, to say the least.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

ShaniFaye

I think the biggest one I've been to is about 250 people. Neither Dave and I run in what you call "the social circles" It was a very nice wedding, it included kids which Im sure made up a good percentage of the people and everyone had a great time.

My first wedding at the courthouse was attended by about 15 people total and mine and Dave's wedding the coming October has a current guest list of 136, we are also allowing kids of any age to attend. When Dave and I made our guest list....with one or two exceptions (for people online that we know) all the people we are inviting are people that we see and associate with on a regular basis (well...except for family members we see at thanksgiving and christmas only lol) I had no desire to invite people that invited us to their wedding and we never see, or people we havent seen since highschool but still exchange christmas cards with.

We want our guests to be people that have seen how our relationship is and are there to support the union and mean something to us and our lives. Its NOT about being a social event for me

I cant imagine going to one of 400+ people, I dont see how it could be a good time for the bride and groom.

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Meditrina

I cannot imagine being in, or going to a wedding of that size. All of the weddings I have been to have been 200 or less people. Mine was 100. Anything over that would have been way too much money for us. It was hard enough to socialize with the 100 that we had, I dont think I would be able to enjoy any more than that. We also had small kids there, I could not imagine them not being a part of the day. They are my nieces and nephews, and a part of my family.

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Grasshopper Green

Hubby and I got married at the courthouse; there were five people present, including ourselves.

I have only attended two weddings; one was a private affair with only family and the brides best friend (my mom and us) there. I think there may have been ten people or so there. The reception was big though, I'd guess 150 people. The other was average I guess....75 people or so, with a few more attending the reception. I missed a lot of weddings due to hubby being in the military; my sister and my dad got married while we were away, as well as a couple of friends. I think they all had smallish weddings, with 50 or so people. I couldn't imagine even knowing 400 people!

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maleficent

Cynical mode turned on here

I went to a wedding, where I knew of the bride but never really met her personally other than for events. Groom I never met. The wedding had over 1000 people in attendance. I knew 5 people at the wedding.

Father of the bride was the president of a major brokerage firm... I'd say a large percantage of the invited guests were associates of the father, and didnt know the bride at all. When weddings get that large, the invited guests tend to be friends or business associates of the parents rather than friends of the bride and groom wanting to "share in their special day" -it's a suck up opportunity to see the parent in a social environment.

When my sister got married, there were probably 300 people there, about 50 - 100 were business associates of my father - because it was expected. It often turns into a networking opportunity (which is the only reason why I would go to a wedding these days)

Basically, in some areas, it's be pretty rare for the bride and groom to know all the invited guests, and it'd be pretty much expected that there are people at the wedding purely because of a business connection to one of the parents -- which actually benefits the bride and groom because they are good for much nicer gifts.

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ngdawg

My personal take on weddings is, if you don't have a personal relationship with someone, don't bother inviting them just to invite them. My cousin got married last week-we were invited and I declined. I don't know this girl, haven't had any contact with her or her parents in over 13 years(they have never met my kids and her father is my uncle). Why spend time and money on some stranger just so they can show off?
I started my own guest list with 45 names, but by the time my mother and mother-in-law got wind of it, it more than doubled to 105-still not bad and very small by today's standards. I wanted a party-not a business write-off.

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cellophanedeity

I'd like to have a nice small party. I've only been to one wedding that I can remember. The ceremony was smallish (in comparison!), with only maybe 50 people there, and then there was a giant (300?) party after.

I'd never go over 100 people, and even that seems much. I don't know that many people, and neither does Simon.

sexymama

I have a huge family, who mostly know each other, so my first wedding was about 150 people, mostly relatives.

Lebell and I went for the close friends and relatives wedding and had only about 30 people. It was wonderful -- lots of fun and very personal! I would do it all over again the same way -- screw the gifts!

(Mho, big weddings are about showing off and getting gifts.)

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Sage

Man, Martel and I had to go through the building to look for people who could take the three minutes to come and witness our ceremony! It was just us- and it literally was a day just for us

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lurkette

The biggest one I've been in (or to, for that matter) was my friend Sharlet's - she had 5 bridesmaids and I think the guestlist was like 300 people. We had four hours of pictures beforehand. It was gruelling.

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raeanna74

I don't think I've been to any that numbered more than 300. That one was for a girl (say girl cause the guy didn't care so long as he got to go someplace with her afterward) who only cared about all the pomp, circumstance, and showing off than who she married. He just happened to be the only one interested.

For our wedding we put out no more than $300 for wedding and reception combined. My dress was an heirloom and we bought suits not rented tuxes for the men. We ended up having about 150 or so guests. Many from the college community (including professors and college president) where hubby's parents had worked for over 16 years. It was in a small church, so small that we had to set up additional seating and use the balcony as well.

I cannot imagine spending so much for a wedding. When you're all about showing off how much money you've got you're bound to have divorce worthy arguements sooner or later over money. In that case why spend so much on something that won't last. If I had that much money I'd prefer to spend it on my honeymoon. Can you imagine how much fun that could be?

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getwonk'd

I'd say the most I've seen is 100. When My husband and I got married, It was him and I, The pastor and my sister. We actually had to have the pastor call someone from the church who we didn't even know to come be a witness. We didn't want a big celebration, no gifts, nothing. We just wanted to be joined as man and wife. We went for supper together and began our lives together. My parents were out of town so they couldn't make it.

snowy

Biggest wedding I've been to was about 150 people--that's the average size on one side of my family as we've got about 100 relatives who all socialize with each other. It's nice though because if you want, the relatives will cater your reception and they're all very good cooks .

However, they won't all be coming to my wedding (whenever THAT happens). I want a small ceremony on the beach with a large reception. To me the actual ceremony is special, and there are only a few people I would want to be present for it.

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sillygirl

I agree. With my ex husband, I wanted the same thing.. small wedding, larger reception. He and his MOM wanted more... so I knew about ten people at my wedding.

When my hunny and I get married (someday) we would like a small service on a nice beach somewhere, something small and romantic, and then a huge ass party later. I don't want the stress...

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lurkette

I think there are a couple of schools of thought about weddings, each of which are probably valid, but I know which one I agree with. I've noticed that people fall into one of the following categories:

1. Weddings are primarily about the couple, and having anyone there is unnecessary. These wedding tend to be the folks who elope or just go to the justice of the peace.

2. Weddings are about expressing your commitment in front of the community - your friends and family. These tend to be very personal weddings - small ones taking the form of picnics, barbecues, weddings on the beach with just close friends and family; larger ones being still just close friends and family, but some people have lots of friends. I like these weddings best. Our wedding was like this - at a pavilion by a lake, with just close friends and family (about 50-60 people.) My aunt made my dress, my mom made the cake, my grandma made the food, ratbastid's parents provided the flowers. It was lovely.

3. Weddings are a social event designed to showcase the couple (mostly the bride) and cement social and business relationships. These tend to be the large, expensive weddings with 5 bridesmaids and 500 guests. This was like my friend Shar's wedding. (I was the MOH.) There were 5 attendants on each side, the minister was a member of the MN state congress, the groom was a new lawyer with political aspirations. It was not a fun wedding. Shar was more than understanding when it came to bridesmaids - she went out of her way to pick a tasteful, not-too-expensive dress, let us pick out our own shoes, etc., but we had hours and hours of photographs, a fussy mother of the groom, another hour of photos after the wedding, and an excruciatingly long reception with an "attendant's parade" where the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to promenade around the dance floor. I felt so stupid.

Anyhow, sometimes each of these kinds of wedding is appropriate. I tend to disapprove of #3 (seems like most people do) but I think it's important that each couple pick what's right for them.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France