Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Gigantic Wedding... feel free to speculate

lurkette · 06-05-2005, 02:20 PM

I think there are a couple of schools of thought about weddings, each of which are probably valid, but I know which one I agree with. I've noticed that people fall into one of the following categories:

1. Weddings are primarily about the couple, and having anyone there is unnecessary. These wedding tend to be the folks who elope or just go to the justice of the peace.

2. Weddings are about expressing your commitment in front of the community - your friends and family. These tend to be very personal weddings - small ones taking the form of picnics, barbecues, weddings on the beach with just close friends and family; larger ones being still just close friends and family, but some people have lots of friends. I like these weddings best. Our wedding was like this - at a pavilion by a lake, with just close friends and family (about 50-60 people.) My aunt made my dress, my mom made the cake, my grandma made the food, ratbastid's parents provided the flowers. It was lovely.

3. Weddings are a social event designed to showcase the couple (mostly the bride) and cement social and business relationships. These tend to be the large, expensive weddings with 5 bridesmaids and 500 guests. This was like my friend Shar's wedding. (I was the MOH.) There were 5 attendants on each side, the minister was a member of the MN state congress, the groom was a new lawyer with political aspirations. It was not a fun wedding. Shar was more than understanding when it came to bridesmaids - she went out of her way to pick a tasteful, not-too-expensive dress, let us pick out our own shoes, etc., but we had hours and hours of photographs, a fussy mother of the groom, another hour of photos after the wedding, and an excruciatingly long reception with an "attendant's parade" where the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to promenade around the dance floor. I felt so stupid.

Anyhow, sometimes each of these kinds of wedding is appropriate. I tend to disapprove of #3 (seems like most people do) but I think it's important that each couple pick what's right for them.

06-05-2005, 02:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I think there are a couple of schools of thought about weddings, each of which are probably valid, but I know which one I agree with. I've noticed that people fall into one of the following categories: 1. Weddings are primarily about the couple, and having anyone there is unnecessary. These wedding tend to be the folks who elope or just go to the justice of the peace. 2. Weddings are about expressing your commitment in front of the community - your friends and family. These tend to be very personal weddings - small ones taking the form of picnics, barbecues, weddings on the beach with just close friends and family; larger ones being still just close friends and family, but some people have lots of friends. I like these weddings best. Our wedding was like this - at a pavilion by a lake, with just close friends and family (about 50-60 people.) My aunt made my dress, my mom made the cake, my grandma made the food, ratbastid's parents provided the flowers. It was lovely. 3. Weddings are a social event designed to showcase the couple (mostly the bride) and cement social and business relationships. These tend to be the large, expensive weddings with 5 bridesmaids and 500 guests. This was like my friend Shar's wedding. (I was the MOH.) There were 5 attendants on each side, the minister was a member of the MN state congress, the groom was a new lawyer with political aspirations. It was not a fun wedding. Shar was more than understanding when it came to bridesmaids - she went out of her way to pick a tasteful, not-too-expensive dress, let us pick out our own shoes, etc., but we had hours and hours of photographs, a fussy mother of the groom, another hour of photos after the wedding, and an excruciatingly long reception with an "attendant's parade" where the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to promenade around the dance floor. I felt so stupid. Anyhow, sometimes each of these kinds of wedding is appropriate. I tend to disapprove of #3 (seems like most people do) but I think it's important that each couple pick what's right for them. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France