Does it bother you to be called a "girl"? - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

raeanna74 · 05-26-2005, 01:51 PM

I think it all depends on the setting and tone of the speaker. At college there was one Hall Monitor who was a couple years younger than I was but if she disapproved of ANYTHING, (like innocent goofing off but "too" unladylike laughter) and she'd say "GIRLS! You really should be acting more like ladies." in this prissy voice that made me want to smash a pie in her face. Ug

Otherwise I've had girlfriends say "Hey girl. What's up." and such things and it doesn't bother me at all. They're not saying it in a condescending way.

Normally though I get called Ma'am. In fact I've only been carded once in my life. I must just look older than I am. I hope not though.

iamabanana · 05-30-2005, 08:15 PM

I'm 25. I think the only thing that bothers me is when people call me "little girl". Usually it's people that are younger than me, when it's annoying. I especially hate being called "hon" by an 18 year old waitress.

eMOTIONal20 · 05-31-2005, 01:30 AM

It's a little interesting... if a female calls me a girl, it doesn't bother me at all; however, when a male calls me a girl, it seems to irritate me... at least a little. I guess I'm in agreement that as long as it isn't said in a derogatory manner than it's more acceptable.

I bet when I'm 40 I'll appreciate such a word used to describe me. Right now, I want to be a woman. So there.

nickynicole · 06-06-2005, 05:33 PM

I'm 22, and would probably be offended more if I were called "woman" than "girl." I'm recently married and can hardly stomach calling my husband a man! I think i'm having a really hard time with the whole "growing up" thing.

ChrystalRainne · 06-09-2005, 01:52 PM

Somewhat; I'd notice and be a little annoyed.

but that's becuse i am almost 20 and i can easly pass for fourteen or fifteen.

Minx · 07-06-2005, 07:10 AM

My boss refers to me as "his girl" all the time but it doesn't bother me at all. I'm 38 so I don't view it as an insult in any way but I could definitely see how someone younger could feel slighted. It gives one the impression (IMO) that you are immature.

As a side note - I much prefer "girl" over Ma'am. Yuck! That just makes me feel ancient!

Sultana · 07-06-2005, 07:47 AM

Funny...when I voted, the first thing that sprang into my mind was a work environment. I most certainly do not appreciate being called girl there (part of it may be due to looking younger than my age, and always having to "realign" people's preconceived notions).

Whenever a male at works calls me "girl", I often respond by calling him "boy" in the exact same tone, which *surprise*, they don't much care for. I say if they don't care for the same treatment, then they should refrain from giving it.

BugLover · 07-06-2005, 08:16 AM

I've been known to respond to "girl" by calling the man a "boy" when responding. Makes them think about it a little more. I've done more in my life than most men I know and to be honest, I don't get "girl" very often from them. But those people who don't know me well are more inclined to use the term and that's where I gently correct them with a "boy" in my response, accompanied by a small grin and a piercing gaze. What bothers me even more are terms of endearment used by strangers "honey", "sweetie", etc. that should be reserved for someone they know or a child. But that's a different topic.

BugLover · 07-06-2005, 08:18 AM

Ha! I just read the previous post! Someone else does the boy thing too! Cool!

noodle · 07-06-2005, 04:03 PM

it really depends on who's saying it, for me. i Can't Stand when anyone says "woman" or "female" as a one word expletive. i love it when my boyfriend refers to me as "his girl". "girlfriend" is too cheesy, but he's not usually my "man". mostly "my boy".

and i'm so with everyone on the "honey, baby, sweetie" issue. it took me months and a few "girlie" nicknames for my boy to break him of the "honey". we now stick to "babe" which, for me, is a tolerable medium.

Janey · 07-07-2005, 08:40 AM

i don't care at what age, I don't mind to be called a girl. As long as the person calling me that is in my peer group.

there are more important things to worry about, but i really hate the condescending terms woman or lady.

maleficent · 07-07-2005, 08:49 AM

How exactly is woman condescending? A woman is a grown up girl. an adult, a sexual being. A girl is the complete opposite of that.

snowy · 07-07-2005, 11:39 AM

You know, I said I wasn't bothered by it but then a waiter in a restaurant kept referring to me and my dining companion as "girls." It did bug me then. I'd rather be called a "lady" in that kind of circumstance. "Ladies" or "ma'am" makes me feel better and more adult than "girl." It makes me feel like I'm sixteen, evidently, when someone calls me "girl."

Ralli · 07-09-2005, 11:51 PM

To be honest, I hate being called woman!!! I know it sounds weird, but I hate it. I hate being called a lady too. Weird!!!!! I prefer to be called girl, but on the other hand, I cant stand when someone says "good girl" to me.

I am just not satisfied am I .!!!!!!

Janey · 07-13-2005, 09:33 AM

my feelings exactly. I don't know, woman just seems artificial, and a term to use for the lack of another. usually used towards me by men, or other females in a 'talk down' or condescending manner. Girl, on the other hand is lively, natural and pleasant.

Gilda · 07-13-2005, 11:46 PM

Interesting. This brings up the issue of usage.

When used in the third person, girl or woman bother me not at all.

I don't like any gender specific noun as a form of direct address; I want to be called [Title][Lastname] unless you are a casual aquaintance.

As a pre-nominative modifier, if you must identify a person's sex, I like "female" best.

la petite moi · 07-14-2005, 11:31 AM

Good lord, it's just a word. The only time I care is when someone is insulting me.

maleficent · 07-14-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

Good lord, it's just a word. The only time I care is when someone is insulting me.

I know you hate it when people say this... but I have to.. and I don't mean any thing insulting by it....

There's a big difference between being called a girl at age 19 -- though you really arent a girl anymore, you are out on your own so you should be referring to yourself as a young woman.. give yourself the respect you are earning. BUT to be called a girl at my age... a lifetime of experience is being taken away from me and it's demeaning. I am not a girl, no one should be mistaking me for a girl. I don't act like a girl, don't call me a girl.

Maybe you won't feel different when you are older, maybe you will...

Words have meaning. Words have power. It's not just a word.

genuinegirly · 07-15-2005, 07:19 AM

I really don't notice what people refer to me as... Girl, woman, lady, whatever. I figure that it's understood that I'm a woman.

I do take offense on occasion when someone doesn't acknowledge that I'm female. For instance, working with a bunch of men and the manager says, "men, come with me" or what-not. I hate having to clarify. Especially since it tends to annoy them becuase "of course I meant you too!" ::sigh::

bad jane · 07-15-2005, 12:14 PM

depends on the context. from someone in my peer group, used in a casual and friendly way--wouldn't bother me. though i don't think any of my friends use "girl," we tend to say "hey woman" instead *shrug* in this sense, i'd view girl as the female equivalent of guy.

and i don't care what word someone uses, i don't like being talked down to period.

i despise terms of endearment from strangers--hun, sweetie, baby take your pick there are tons available. when someone uses girl in that sense, i will correct them. i get this a lot from people at work (not coworkers, but patients) and i do tell them i'd appreciate it if they called me by my name. i don't refer to them that way, i expect the same respect.

the only time i actually smile when being called girl is when it comes from my dad. not often, but sometimes he'll refer to me as his girl, his little girl or his baby girl and i gotta admit, the child in me loves it

though generally this occurs during those moments when he reflects back on how much i've grown up. i think it's nice. he respects me as a woman, but in his heart's eye, he will forever see me as his child. to me, it's a bonding phrase.

Munchkin · 07-18-2005, 07:05 AM

I am 32, but most of the time I still feel like I am 16. I do not care to be referred to as girl, especially by males. I think my dad sneering "little girl" at me as I was growing up is largely responsible for this. Ma'am and lady are out as well. I do not feel quite old enough to be called ma'am and a lady, to me, is someone who is prim and proper (neither of which describes me). I prefer woman to anything else. Having said all of this, I find myself referring to other women as girls or ladies. I am a full time student atm and I refer to the ladies in my summer class as girls. When I was was working, I called those women ladies. Strange how I use terms for others that I do not care to be used on me.

At the end of the day, girl IS just a word. However, so are the racial slurs that people so carelessly toss around. I believe, like many of the other women here, that the context in which girl is used will determine how a woman reacts to the word.

Starlene · 07-20-2005, 10:48 AM

I love being called a grrl, and have loved being called it my whole life. I've always been the girly grrl. The one in all the pink you see running around the mall. ~luv it~ Thats just me though.
I actually just bought a shirt

that says 100% grrl. I LUV it.

Well thats my 2 cents.

Thx
~Star~

Sugarmouse · 07-20-2005, 11:46 AM

yes it bothers me.i seemyself as very much a woman-althoughi can act 'girly 'at times.

gues i would need definition to explain better

CaliGirl · 07-21-2005, 08:45 PM

I see nothing wrong with girl. Its better than broad or a few other choice and crude names. Besides, I am a girl..at heart!

Sugarmouse · 07-22-2005, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

How exactly is woman condescending? A woman is a grown up girl. an adult, a sexual being. A girl is the complete opposite of that.

my sentiment exactly!! lol i iam very sexual..inthat way i am far from a gurl.lol

nickynicole · 07-25-2005, 01:21 PM

I work for a small business run by two women, both in ther sixties. They have a client who just turned 93 years old, and when he calls, he asks if "the girls are in today," and it always makes me smile. In this specific context, and man in his 90s speaking to someone much younger, it seems appropriate and endearing. Besides, what 65 year old woman wouldn't mind being called "girl?"

prizm · 07-25-2005, 02:55 PM

it only bothers me when other women refer to a bunch of other women as "girls." As in, "Hey girls, look at this." It feels rather condescending.

View Poll Results: How much does it bother you to be called a girl?
Not at all; I take little notice of the difference.	32	39.02%
Very little; I might notice, but wouldn't take offense.	28	34.15%
Somewhat; I'd notice and be a little annoyed.	11	13.41%
A lot; I might correct people who do this.	11	13.41%
Voters: 82. You may not vote on this poll

05-26-2005, 01:51 PM	#41 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I think it all depends on the setting and tone of the speaker. At college there was one Hall Monitor who was a couple years younger than I was but if she disapproved of ANYTHING, (like innocent goofing off but "too" unladylike laughter) and she'd say "GIRLS! You really should be acting more like ladies." in this prissy voice that made me want to smash a pie in her face. Ug Otherwise I've had girlfriends say "Hey girl. What's up." and such things and it doesn't bother me at all. They're not saying it in a condescending way. Normally though I get called Ma'am. In fact I've only been carded once in my life. I must just look older than I am. I hope not though. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

05-31-2005, 01:30 AM	#43 (permalink)
eMOTIONal20 Crazy Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado	It's a little interesting... if a female calls me a girl, it doesn't bother me at all; however, when a male calls me a girl, it seems to irritate me... at least a little. I guess I'm in agreement that as long as it isn't said in a derogatory manner than it's more acceptable. I bet when I'm 40 I'll appreciate such a word used to describe me. Right now, I want to be a woman. So there. __________________ "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

07-06-2005, 07:10 AM	#46 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	My boss refers to me as "his girl" all the time but it doesn't bother me at all. I'm 38 so I don't view it as an insult in any way but I could definitely see how someone younger could feel slighted. It gives one the impression (IMO) that you are immature. As a side note - I much prefer "girl" over Ma'am. Yuck! That just makes me feel ancient! __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

07-06-2005, 07:47 AM	#47 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Funny...when I voted, the first thing that sprang into my mind was a work environment. I most certainly do not appreciate being called girl there (part of it may be due to looking younger than my age, and always having to "realign" people's preconceived notions). Whenever a male at works calls me "girl", I often respond by calling him "boy" in the exact same tone, which surprise, they don't much care for. I say if they don't care for the same treatment, then they should refrain from giving it. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

05-30-2005, 08:15 PM	#42 (permalink)
iamabanana Upright Location: Behind you.	I'm 25. I think the only thing that bothers me is when people call me "little girl". Usually it's people that are younger than me, when it's annoying. I especially hate being called "hon" by an 18 year old waitress.

06-06-2005, 05:33 PM	#44 (permalink)
nickynicole Crazy Location: not here.	I'm 22, and would probably be offended more if I were called "woman" than "girl." I'm recently married and can hardly stomach calling my husband a man! I think i'm having a really hard time with the whole "growing up" thing.

06-09-2005, 01:52 PM	#45 (permalink)
ChrystalRainne Upright Location: Out Of My Mind	Somewhat; I'd notice and be a little annoyed. but that's becuse i am almost 20 and i can easly pass for fourteen or fifteen.

07-06-2005, 08:16 AM	#48 (permalink)
BugLover Upright Location: City of Angels	I've been known to respond to "girl" by calling the man a "boy" when responding. Makes them think about it a little more. I've done more in my life than most men I know and to be honest, I don't get "girl" very often from them. But those people who don't know me well are more inclined to use the term and that's where I gently correct them with a "boy" in my response, accompanied by a small grin and a piercing gaze. What bothers me even more are terms of endearment used by strangers "honey", "sweetie", etc. that should be reserved for someone they know or a child. But that's a different topic.

07-06-2005, 08:18 AM	#49 (permalink)
BugLover Upright Location: City of Angels	Ha! I just read the previous post! Someone else does the boy thing too! Cool!

07-06-2005, 04:03 PM	#50 (permalink)
noodle Une petite chou Location: With All Your Base	it really depends on who's saying it, for me. i Can't Stand when anyone says "woman" or "female" as a one word expletive. i love it when my boyfriend refers to me as "his girl". "girlfriend" is too cheesy, but he's not usually my "man". mostly "my boy". and i'm so with everyone on the "honey, baby, sweetie" issue. it took me months and a few "girlie" nicknames for my boy to break him of the "honey". we now stick to "babe" which, for me, is a tolerable medium.

07-07-2005, 08:40 AM	#51 (permalink)
Janey Junkie Location: Toronto	i don't care at what age, I don't mind to be called a girl. As long as the person calling me that is in my peer group. there are more important things to worry about, but i really hate the condescending terms woman or lady.

07-07-2005, 08:49 AM	#52 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	How exactly is woman condescending? A woman is a grown up girl. an adult, a sexual being. A girl is the complete opposite of that. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

07-07-2005, 11:39 AM	#53 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	You know, I said I wasn't bothered by it but then a waiter in a restaurant kept referring to me and my dining companion as "girls." It did bug me then. I'd rather be called a "lady" in that kind of circumstance. "Ladies" or "ma'am" makes me feel better and more adult than "girl." It makes me feel like I'm sixteen, evidently, when someone calls me "girl." __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

07-09-2005, 11:51 PM	#54 (permalink)
Ralli Tilted Location: Brisbane, Australia	To be honest, I hate being called woman!!! I know it sounds weird, but I hate it. I hate being called a lady too. Weird!!!!! I prefer to be called girl, but on the other hand, I cant stand when someone says "good girl" to me. I am just not satisfied am I .!!!!!! __________________ ~RALLI~

07-13-2005, 09:33 AM	#55 (permalink)
Janey Junkie Location: Toronto	my feelings exactly. I don't know, woman just seems artificial, and a term to use for the lack of another. usually used towards me by men, or other females in a 'talk down' or condescending manner. Girl, on the other hand is lively, natural and pleasant.

07-13-2005, 11:46 PM	#56 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	Interesting. This brings up the issue of usage. When used in the third person, girl or woman bother me not at all. I don't like any gender specific noun as a form of direct address; I want to be called [Title][Lastname] unless you are a casual aquaintance. As a pre-nominative modifier, if you must identify a person's sex, I like "female" best. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

07-14-2005, 11:31 AM	#57 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Good lord, it's just a word. The only time I care is when someone is insulting me.

07-15-2005, 07:19 AM	#59 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	I really don't notice what people refer to me as... Girl, woman, lady, whatever. I figure that it's understood that I'm a woman. I do take offense on occasion when someone doesn't acknowledge that I'm female. For instance, working with a bunch of men and the manager says, "men, come with me" or what-not. I hate having to clarify. Especially since it tends to annoy them becuase "of course I meant you too!" ::sigh:: __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

07-15-2005, 12:14 PM	#60 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	depends on the context. from someone in my peer group, used in a casual and friendly way--wouldn't bother me. though i don't think any of my friends use "girl," we tend to say "hey woman" instead shrug in this sense, i'd view girl as the female equivalent of guy. and i don't care what word someone uses, i don't like being talked down to period. i despise terms of endearment from strangers--hun, sweetie, baby take your pick there are tons available. when someone uses girl in that sense, i will correct them. i get this a lot from people at work (not coworkers, but patients) and i do tell them i'd appreciate it if they called me by my name. i don't refer to them that way, i expect the same respect. the only time i actually smile when being called girl is when it comes from my dad. not often, but sometimes he'll refer to me as his girl, his little girl or his baby girl and i gotta admit, the child in me loves it though generally this occurs during those moments when he reflects back on how much i've grown up. i think it's nice. he respects me as a woman, but in his heart's eye, he will forever see me as his child. to me, it's a bonding phrase.

07-18-2005, 07:05 AM	#61 (permalink)
Munchkin Upright	I am 32, but most of the time I still feel like I am 16. I do not care to be referred to as girl, especially by males. I think my dad sneering "little girl" at me as I was growing up is largely responsible for this. Ma'am and lady are out as well. I do not feel quite old enough to be called ma'am and a lady, to me, is someone who is prim and proper (neither of which describes me). I prefer woman to anything else. Having said all of this, I find myself referring to other women as girls or ladies. I am a full time student atm and I refer to the ladies in my summer class as girls. When I was was working, I called those women ladies. Strange how I use terms for others that I do not care to be used on me. At the end of the day, girl IS just a word. However, so are the racial slurs that people so carelessly toss around. I believe, like many of the other women here, that the context in which girl is used will determine how a woman reacts to the word.

07-20-2005, 10:48 AM	#62 (permalink)
Starlene Loser Location: Texas	I love being called a grrl, and have loved being called it my whole life. I've always been the girly grrl. The one in all the pink you see running around the mall. ~luv it~ Thats just me though. I actually just bought a shirt that says 100% grrl. I LUV it. Well thats my 2 cents. Thx ~Star~

07-20-2005, 11:46 AM	#63 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	yes it bothers me.i seemyself as very much a woman-althoughi can act 'girly 'at times. gues i would need definition to explain better __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

07-21-2005, 08:45 PM	#64 (permalink)
CaliGirl Upright	I see nothing wrong with girl. Its better than broad or a few other choice and crude names. Besides, I am a girl..at heart!

07-25-2005, 01:21 PM	#66 (permalink)
nickynicole Crazy Location: not here.	I work for a small business run by two women, both in ther sixties. They have a client who just turned 93 years old, and when he calls, he asks if "the girls are in today," and it always makes me smile. In this specific context, and man in his 90s speaking to someone much younger, it seems appropriate and endearing. Besides, what 65 year old woman wouldn't mind being called "girl?"

07-25-2005, 02:55 PM	#67 (permalink)
prizm Upright	it only bothers me when other women refer to a bunch of other women as "girls." As in, "Hey girls, look at this." It feels rather condescending.