Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Ladies Lounge


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-22-2004, 08:31 AM   #1 (permalink)
Untitled
Guest
 
fear

Okay ladies, I need your help here...

At this stage in my life, I am terrified about getting pregnant. While I do want kids some day, I have so much I want to do before then.
I've been on the pill for about 4 years now, due to medical reasons, but that doesnt even stop my paranoia about this. My boyfriend and I have started to have sex a few times, but each time I made him stop because of this fear...

So my problem is this... how do I get past this mental block, to be able to enjoy this with my boyfriend?
 
Old 05-22-2004, 08:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
I'm baaaaack!
 
Use a backup method, like spermicide. Although spermicide isn't as strong as the pill, it should ease your mind a little to know that there is a backup.
__________________
You don't know from fun.
Rubyee is offline  
Old 05-22-2004, 09:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
Addict
 
diddagirl's Avatar
 
Location: Calgary, AB
Definitly use back up ie.) a condom, foam, sponge ect...... the combination of the pill and another contraceptive makes for VERY strong birth control.
__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold
diddagirl is offline  
Old 05-22-2004, 10:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
The pill is something like 99percent effective when used correctly. You don't want to get pregnant? Follow the instructions for the pill to the letter.

Maybe you should reconsider your reasons for having sex. If you are that terrified, maybe it's your subconscious telling you you just aren't ready.

If you really beleive you are, trust that the pill will do it's job, as long as you are using it correctly, and talk to your boyfriend about using condoms, and/or pulling out.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 05-22-2004, 12:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Sugar&Spice's Avatar
 
You can always use condoms if that'll make you feel better..there is no way you'd get pregnant doing that! I've been on the pill for 3 years now and at first I insisted a condom always be used or the withdrawl method. But now I'm not really worried about it. I take the pill everyday just like I'm suppose to and I've had no problems without using a back up method.

I have a friend who weighs like 170 and for the pill to be at the top of its effectiveness you are suppose to weigh 156ish or less I believe. They never used condoms. Just relied on the pill and sometimes she'd take it like 12hrs late. She has never been pregnant.
__________________
-Speak your mind even if your voice shakes
Sugar&Spice is offline  
Old 05-22-2004, 10:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Native America
I've been on the pill for 11 years and never used anything as a back up. I've never gotten pregnant, but I'm very good at remembering to take it.

I have a good friend that just had an accidental 3rd child ( the first 2 were planned) while on the pill. She swears to me she took it 100% correctly, and had been on it for 4 years, when she suddenly got pregnant again.

Here's another one: I know a guy who used condoms and his wife was on the pill and she STILL got pregnant.

So what am I trying to say? Only abstinence is 100% successful but most of us (myself included) wouldn't even consider giving up our sex lives! It's just a risk you have to take if you want to have sex. Just know that your odds are REALLY low if you use the pill correctly and should be even lower if you also use condoms.

Even though there's a small chance you could still get pregnant, what would worrying about it solve? It's just about the choice- horny enough to risk it? If so, then why worry? You're doing everything possible to prevent conception. And wouldn't it suck more if you had sex, worried the whole time, didn't enjoy it, and got pregnant anyway? I'd be pissed that I didn't even enjoy it but still had to pay the price!

Look up some statistics, maybe the miniscule percentages will make you relax.
__________________
Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Redgirl is offline  
Old 05-23-2004, 01:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
Mel
Tilted
 
Location: Auckland
Extra protection will stop you worrying, and you can't get pregnant if you have taken your pill every single day
__________________
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping. The moon tells me a secret. My confidant. As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me It's source is bright and endless. She resuscitates the hopeless Without her we are lifeless satellites drifting
Mel is offline  
Old 05-24-2004, 01:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: belgium
I agree with everybody here above me,... you needn't worry thàt much really...

If you'll take the pill correctly and consequently, it should be protective enough. I've taken the pill now for over a year and haven't gotten any problems yet. I do freak out sometimes too, you know... nothing is a 100%, except abstinence, but that is not worth it for me really

Maybe you should talk to your doctor about your worryings, and he/she might help you further.

Good lucks to ya!
lisa is offline  
Old 05-24-2004, 08:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Use both a spermicide condom and take the pill and you are super protected.

And have you ever thought that maybe you are just not ready for sex? Have you ever been taught that sex is wrong or evil? That could be doing it. It took me awhile to get past this thing that always made me cry during sex. It was most likely because of my past, but after encouragement, it stopped. Just ask for your boyfriend's help and comfort, and keep trying. Communication REALLY helps. Talk about your fear with him. And always remember- sex is not a bad thing.

The pill is 99% effective. Add a spermicide condom which is 86% to 98% effective (the 86% is if your guy doesn't put it on absolutely correct), and you're pretty dang protected. ALSO, you may want to later invest in a 10 year IUD which is really effective.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 05-29-2004, 04:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Frenchie's Avatar
 
Location: Muncie, IN
Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
Maybe you should reconsider your reasons for having sex. If you are that terrified, maybe it's your subconscious telling you you just aren't ready.

That is a very very very!!! good statement!!!!

Really really consider that!
Frenchie is offline  
Old 05-30-2004, 08:25 AM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
shannon's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
my boyfriend is really scared like that and so we always use a condom along with the pill just to be safe.
i also think that maleficent had a good point, but i don't know you well enough to know what your reasons are for being so scared.
i'd like to hear where you're at after reading all this.
__________________
"When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"
shannon is offline  
Old 05-30-2004, 06:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
Untitled
Guest
 
I guess I should cough up a bit more info at this point, eh?

maleficent, I really thought over what you said, and what I came up with is this: I love my boyfriend very much, and this is something that I feel I am ready to share with him. I started this thread because I think that my fear is irrational. I know that with the pill and a condom, we'd be very protected, and chances of pregnancy are very slim. I *know* this, but the fear is still there, and thats what I can't figure out....

For right now, I'm going with the theory that, if I'm not sure about ANYTHING, then I shouldn't be doing this... But I still feel that I'm being irrational and don't know how to get over it...

Thanks so much for all your advice. It's really helpful. And thanks for listening to me rant
 
Old 05-30-2004, 06:16 PM   #13 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
It's not irrational and don't beat yourself up over thinking that it is. For your first time, it's good that you are thinking about it, too many women don't and the consequences aren't what you hoped for.

Do some more reading, check out some sites like http://www.plannedparenthood.com/ and even Ivillage for first time sex. If it helps you, go visit a planned parenthood clinic and talk to someone there. It's one of the reasons why they are there.;

I'm sure your boyfriend is understanding as well, which is great, talk to him of your concerns and research it together, more education couldn't hurt.

Your first time should be special and there shouldn't be fear or doubts involved. Trust your instincts, they're rarely wrong. and I'm sure the ladies here will do whatever they can to help you out (I know I'm pretty good at listening)
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 06-03-2004, 09:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
<3 Peetster
 
Location: Peetster's house.
Let her see a video of a delivery,or my childcare bills, She will know full well that her fear is HARDLY irrational.
__________________
Honey,We're home.
SixEdxMia is offline  
 

Tags
fear

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:13 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360