types of men and the general type women go for - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

crayzeeredhead · 12-02-2003, 02:08 PM

My boyfriend and i are in the middle of a "type" discussion. HE says women want to marry etc a providertype of guy. I totally disagreed with him!
First of all I think there are generally 4 "types" of guys and those are the gay men we all wish were straight, the nerds who come extremely intelligent and either really good looking or barf ugly, the pretty boy, the ones that know they are hot shit and flaunt it every chance they get, and the provider types who range in looks from ugly to cute to hott!
Anyways i told him That society in general is too hung up on looks to care whether the guy can be the man in a relationship by providing for his family, and that women generally only care if men are employed and not living at home with mommy! I say this only because more and more these days women are taking the role of men in the provider function so it really makes no difference to us if he makes alot of money unless of course you count gold diggers!!
I further stated that for me i go for the Pretty boy type normally. ya know the ones that are the players or the wanna bes who are really cocky and know what they want from a woman the typical bad boy with a baby face!! yep thats me STUPID!! i think i have doormat wriitten on my forhead! but hey i have broken the cycle with the current Bf who is the provider type and not much in the looks department but he is gorgeous to me and has tons of sex appeal!
WHat i wanna know from you ladies is your Type typically and what you think is societies type as a whole !
thanks for your input

Aphrodite · 12-02-2003, 05:31 PM

Intelligence is one of the most important things to me. Looks are handy for drawing my attention initially, and then when I get to know them the way I perceive they look changes. So I guess in general, from those four types, mine is sort of a cross between the nerd and the provider.
To get ahead in NZ, most families have to have dual providers, ie both the man and the woman are equal breadwinners. To be honest I would feel really uncomfortable if the guy paid for everything, and that would be detrimental to our relationship. I need to have financial independence at all times so I could never just sit back and let him provide for me. That's just me though, I'm a very independent person in general.
Cocky guys and pretty boys are often nice to look at, but they leave me cold inside.
Nerds are really my predominant type. I love a guy with whom I can discuss everything and debate some issue or abstract concept when we're snuggled up in bed late at night. Someone who can help me expand my thinking on things, and isn't too pigheaded to learn from me as well. Creativity, and writing me poetry is also a bonus, but we can't have it all I guess. My current guy doesn't have a poetic bone in his body.
As for society in general, I really can't answer. I'm pretty atypical when it comes to a lot of things.

Nancy · 12-03-2003, 10:20 AM

Hmmm I read somewhere that women prefer the "providers" and the "hot ones", can't remember the reasons though... as for myself I prefer the intellectual type... lucky for me I found one and he's damn hot too

minyn · 12-03-2003, 03:42 PM

Hrm.... for me ihave a *vague* idea what i want

I want an independent guy who can be mature and thoughtful but can play like a 10 year old. i want one i can talk to about anythingand everything till the ass-crack of the night. i want someone who has his own interests but i can still experience them without being completely involved in them. i want to have my friends, and him have his own, and still mingle with all of them and all that good jazz. i hope for one that is open about their sexuality and can talk about it and try it, be it whatever "it" is. thats half the fun. i want a guy who will try new places, new food, and new people and see what is out here in this thing called the world.

beyond that, i have no idea. and its kinda exciting to see what i can find along the way!

minyn · 12-03-2003, 03:42 PM

did i mention i have a thing for engineers? as i saw on a shirt once....

TALK NERDY TO ME!!!

Cherry · 12-04-2003, 09:38 AM

I'm a geek girlie who gets turned on by the geek boys.

:rowr:

lurkette · 12-04-2003, 02:11 PM

I think each person probably classifies members of the opposite sex slightly differently, and everyone's probably looking for something different. I think evolutionarily we're probably pretty hardwired to want to reproduce with "hot" men (since, mostly, attraction has evolved out of a preference for strong genetic traits), but to "settle down" with providers. Throw in all sorts of social signals and personal experiences and preferences, and I think it'd be hard to develop a consistent typology of men. Or women, for that matter. I find that I'm highly idiosyncratic in the men and women I'm attracted to - I'd have a hard time finding patterns, aside from the fact that they turn me on and I want to spend time with them. "Why" varies from person to person, really.

susartele · 12-06-2003, 06:13 PM

I think I married a provider type.
Now I live with a very intelligent man who is also creative and intense...........and that's putting it mildly!

la petite moi · 12-07-2003, 11:08 AM

Hmmm...looking back on relationships...

1st- He wasn't attractive, per se, but he was funny. And a lot of girls liked him.
2nd- Yeah, he was a nerdy geek guy. I guess thats what you could call him. He was pretty much intelligent, though he was not confident.
3rd- I'm sorry, but he was ugly. I loved his personality when he was emotional and sensitive, but he was physically ugly. Then his personality just got ugly...and yeah...:sigh:.

4th and current- He's attractive

, really funny

, muy muy intelligent

, and he's totally the provider type

. He's always telling me he wants to give me a good life and spoil me.

Meep!

~springrain · 12-08-2003, 07:27 AM

I honestly have no "type" ... i detest labels of any kind... and even "typing" people sets me up for preconceived ideas about them.

If I feel good being around someone... that's good enough for me.

raeanna74 · 12-08-2003, 06:36 PM

I think Lurkette expressed very well much of what I think too. I find that on a night out when I'm not "hunting" for anything long term I tend to go for the bad boys. I love adventure, causing trouble, going against the stream, etc. BUT if anything every happened to hubby (God forbid) and I were looking for a man to settle down with my perspective on the "right guy" would have changed a lot since prior to marriage. NOW I would definately look for the well established provider since I have a daughter and she is my jewel and priority. I do spoil her though I try not to. A provider would give me the ability to care for her more in the way I desire. Also a "well established" guy who isn't still living with his parents or something like that would indicate to me one who isn't the type to quit his job on a whim. I've gone through enough lean times to know I wouldn't want a flighty guy.

sexymama · 12-08-2003, 10:18 PM

I've dated a lot over the years. Every man I've dated has been very different. Sometimes he came from a different culture. Sometimes he came from a different "class." Always, he is intelligent (or not around for long) and easy to talk with. But to say that I'm attracted to "one type" of man would be much too constrictive for me.

PeaceFrog · 12-11-2003, 01:47 PM

I don't think i have specific type, as i've dated a large variety of guys, but the one "type" that always gets me is the artsy, intellectual type. Yum

Any guy who can keep up in an intellectual conversation, and not only keep up but add his own input as well really gets me going. As far as physical type goes, i love the ultra skinny boys with the long hair (Johnny Depp) and especially the emo looking boys with the shaggy hair and thick rim galsses (Rivers Cuomo).

12-02-2003, 02:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
crayzeeredhead Tilted Location: here& there but here today	types of men and the general type women go for My boyfriend and i are in the middle of a "type" discussion. HE says women want to marry etc a providertype of guy. I totally disagreed with him! First of all I think there are generally 4 "types" of guys and those are the gay men we all wish were straight, the nerds who come extremely intelligent and either really good looking or barf ugly, the pretty boy, the ones that know they are hot shit and flaunt it every chance they get, and the provider types who range in looks from ugly to cute to hott! Anyways i told him That society in general is too hung up on looks to care whether the guy can be the man in a relationship by providing for his family, and that women generally only care if men are employed and not living at home with mommy! I say this only because more and more these days women are taking the role of men in the provider function so it really makes no difference to us if he makes alot of money unless of course you count gold diggers!! I further stated that for me i go for the Pretty boy type normally. ya know the ones that are the players or the wanna bes who are really cocky and know what they want from a woman the typical bad boy with a baby face!! yep thats me STUPID!! i think i have doormat wriitten on my forhead! but hey i have broken the cycle with the current Bf who is the provider type and not much in the looks department but he is gorgeous to me and has tons of sex appeal! WHat i wanna know from you ladies is your Type typically and what you think is societies type as a whole ! thanks for your input __________________ For everything there is a neverending cycle- birth, death, rebirth. Evil can and will not exist without good and visa versa. You also reap what you sew. There is a sliver of truth in every saying -those are a few!!

12-02-2003, 05:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Aphrodite Tilted Location: Lost in the pages of a book full of death	Intelligence is one of the most important things to me. Looks are handy for drawing my attention initially, and then when I get to know them the way I perceive they look changes. So I guess in general, from those four types, mine is sort of a cross between the nerd and the provider. To get ahead in NZ, most families have to have dual providers, ie both the man and the woman are equal breadwinners. To be honest I would feel really uncomfortable if the guy paid for everything, and that would be detrimental to our relationship. I need to have financial independence at all times so I could never just sit back and let him provide for me. That's just me though, I'm a very independent person in general. Cocky guys and pretty boys are often nice to look at, but they leave me cold inside. Nerds are really my predominant type. I love a guy with whom I can discuss everything and debate some issue or abstract concept when we're snuggled up in bed late at night. Someone who can help me expand my thinking on things, and isn't too pigheaded to learn from me as well. Creativity, and writing me poetry is also a bonus, but we can't have it all I guess. My current guy doesn't have a poetic bone in his body. As for society in general, I really can't answer. I'm pretty atypical when it comes to a lot of things. Last edited by Aphrodite; 12-02-2003 at 05:33 PM..

12-03-2003, 10:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	Hmmm I read somewhere that women prefer the "providers" and the "hot ones", can't remember the reasons though... as for myself I prefer the intellectual type... lucky for me I found one and he's damn hot too __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

12-03-2003, 03:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
minyn young and in bloom Location: under the bodhi tree.... bling	Hrm.... for me ihave a vague idea what i want I want an independent guy who can be mature and thoughtful but can play like a 10 year old. i want one i can talk to about anythingand everything till the ass-crack of the night. i want someone who has his own interests but i can still experience them without being completely involved in them. i want to have my friends, and him have his own, and still mingle with all of them and all that good jazz. i hope for one that is open about their sexuality and can talk about it and try it, be it whatever "it" is. thats half the fun. i want a guy who will try new places, new food, and new people and see what is out here in this thing called the world. beyond that, i have no idea. and its kinda exciting to see what i can find along the way! __________________ "Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye" ~A3 "woke up this morning" "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

12-03-2003, 03:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
minyn young and in bloom Location: under the bodhi tree.... bling	did i mention i have a thing for engineers? as i saw on a shirt once.... TALK NERDY TO ME!!! __________________ "Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye" ~A3 "woke up this morning" "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

12-04-2003, 09:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cherry Tilted Location: Yonder	I'm a geek girlie who gets turned on by the geek boys. :rowr: __________________ In walked a man in the shape of a man, holding a hat shaped hat...

12-04-2003, 02:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I think each person probably classifies members of the opposite sex slightly differently, and everyone's probably looking for something different. I think evolutionarily we're probably pretty hardwired to want to reproduce with "hot" men (since, mostly, attraction has evolved out of a preference for strong genetic traits), but to "settle down" with providers. Throw in all sorts of social signals and personal experiences and preferences, and I think it'd be hard to develop a consistent typology of men. Or women, for that matter. I find that I'm highly idiosyncratic in the men and women I'm attracted to - I'd have a hard time finding patterns, aside from the fact that they turn me on and I want to spend time with them. "Why" varies from person to person, really. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

12-06-2003, 06:13 PM	#8 (permalink)
susartele Tilted Location: northeast	I think I married a provider type. Now I live with a very intelligent man who is also creative and intense...........and that's putting it mildly! __________________ www.artelevision.com

12-07-2003, 11:08 AM	#9 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Hmmm...looking back on relationships... 1st- He wasn't attractive, per se, but he was funny. And a lot of girls liked him. 2nd- Yeah, he was a nerdy geek guy. I guess thats what you could call him. He was pretty much intelligent, though he was not confident. 3rd- I'm sorry, but he was ugly. I loved his personality when he was emotional and sensitive, but he was physically ugly. Then his personality just got ugly...and yeah...:sigh:. 4th and current- He's attractive , really funny , muy muy intelligent , and he's totally the provider type . He's always telling me he wants to give me a good life and spoil me. Meep! Last edited by la petite moi; 12-07-2003 at 11:12 AM..

12-08-2003, 07:27 AM	#10 (permalink)
~springrain Banned Location: central USA	I honestly have no "type" ... i detest labels of any kind... and even "typing" people sets me up for preconceived ideas about them. If I feel good being around someone... that's good enough for me.

12-08-2003, 06:36 PM	#11 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I think Lurkette expressed very well much of what I think too. I find that on a night out when I'm not "hunting" for anything long term I tend to go for the bad boys. I love adventure, causing trouble, going against the stream, etc. BUT if anything every happened to hubby (God forbid) and I were looking for a man to settle down with my perspective on the "right guy" would have changed a lot since prior to marriage. NOW I would definately look for the well established provider since I have a daughter and she is my jewel and priority. I do spoil her though I try not to. A provider would give me the ability to care for her more in the way I desire. Also a "well established" guy who isn't still living with his parents or something like that would indicate to me one who isn't the type to quit his job on a whim. I've gone through enough lean times to know I wouldn't want a flighty guy. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

12-08-2003, 10:18 PM	#12 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I've dated a lot over the years. Every man I've dated has been very different. Sometimes he came from a different culture. Sometimes he came from a different "class." Always, he is intelligent (or not around for long) and easy to talk with. But to say that I'm attracted to "one type" of man would be much too constrictive for me. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

12-11-2003, 01:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
PeaceFrog Tilted Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia	I don't think i have specific type, as i've dated a large variety of guys, but the one "type" that always gets me is the artsy, intellectual type. Yum Any guy who can keep up in an intellectual conversation, and not only keep up but add his own input as well really gets me going. As far as physical type goes, i love the ultra skinny boys with the long hair (Johnny Depp) and especially the emo looking boys with the shaggy hair and thick rim galsses (Rivers Cuomo). __________________ The only people for me are the mad ones...