Pretty girls?

[SabrinaFair]

"and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room"
-32 Flavours by Ani DiFranco

This is my first post, so I'm very excited. :-)

My question is...do you think that in our society, it is easier to be pretty or ugly? Both kinds of women face different kinds of discrimnation. Ugly women are often looked over, while pretty women are often underestimated. Do you feel like you have missed out on good opportunities because of your physical appearance? I await your answers. :-)

[SiN]

welcome to the TFP and the ladies lounge

regarding your Q -

i've always thought looking good was an advantage, to be honest.

i've never felt 'underestimated' or like i've missed out on anything because of how i look..

i dunno, perhaps i just got lucky?

good question tho.

[motdakasha]

I think it's "easier" to be ugly. There are a lot of rules/etiquette/fashion etc. that you have to follow if you're to be regarded as "pretty" even if you have the looks, there's a whole stigma involved. It's so much easier to become ugly than it is to become pretty. There are so many expectations to being pretty.

However, I agree with SiN that there are advantages to being pretty. For instance some woman dressed up as an old woman, wrinkles and a walker and everything. She went into a store (like Walmart or something) and tried to get help about a store item. Completely ignored. Same store, same day, different costume. This time, she's dressed as a pretty woman. She *doesn't* ask for help, but she is offered help needlessly several times.

[lafemmefatale]

i'd rather be overly pretty...and then shock everyone with my brilliance and bitter cynicism...if i had those. If i didn't, which i don't...[well the bitter cynicism i def have when it's the time of the month...] then it'd be boring. But i'm a plain jane and theres nothing to complain about [actually there's plenty to complain about].

[lurkette]

Much easier to be pretty. You can always prove yourself if you're intelligent or capable or a nice person. Harder to be capable, intelligent and ugly and be ignored. I'm happy being somewhere in the middle - not stunning, not hideous, a little plain. People take me seriously but I also get a few second looks in public places. (Could be the purple hair )

[*Nikki*]

Pretty girls have it made. Things just come to them. When you are good looking in this society you are automatically favored over anyone else. Beauty may only be skin deep, but it will also open a lot of doors.

[Minx]

*Nikki* is absolutely right. Is it fair? Nope. Is it true...you betcha! I'm lucky in that I'm considered fairly attractive - I'm smart enough to realize I'm not gorgeous but even I see the way I am treated differently from "ugly" people.
I would much prefer to have the looks I do and then have people say "holy shit...she's smart too!" then the other way around.

[cheerios]

damn, start w/ a bang! welcome by the way!

I think beauty effects people, just as it's opposite does. it tends towards complacency and vanity, in my experience, and even arrogance. I don't think it's EASY being a woman at all, beautiful or not. i think beautiful women feel they have to live upto expectations, which could make it more difficult, where an ugly woman knows she'll be taken for what she is. No one's gonna expect an after-work blowjob or anything. :shrug: just my 2 cents.

[mew]

Ugly women want to be pretty and pretty women want to be prettier. Viciouse cycle for sure but its there. Though I always try to look at everyone as if theyre beautiful. I mean Everyones gotta have a beautiful character about them. Even that "weird guy" in highschool couldve had amazing blue eyes or amazing talent..You know? Though it is still hard to try and see through all that shallow crap. I admit it.

[anti fishstick]

good quote. i love ani. i think it's easier to be pretty in this society just bcos we take so much precedence over beauty especially in how the media portrays women. we have a lot of advantages. BUT it also has its downsides. i almost feel like its a curse. at least for me, bcos i dont know how to handle it very well. i still feel like that ugly duckling. people can take advantage of you. people can make judgments that yer all looks and no brain. you're underestimated a lot. but to be a women period in this worrld, you have to prove yourself. i think.

[G0dd3ss]

Welcome, SabrinaFair!

That's a really good question. I think that it would be more difficult to be ugly. First of all, just because...YOU know you're ugly, no matter what the rest of the world thinks. That would tear me down, personally. Also, I see ugly girls get shat on time and time again by friends and boyfriends...sometimes even family members, just because they are easy targets. Not to mention, I am almost sure that employers would be more likely to hire an attractive person over an ugly person, assuming the qualifications were the same.

I think, like Nikki, that pretty girls have it made. I am an attractive girl...sometimes I get special treatment because of it, I think. I know that I've made girlfriends because of my pretty stature (which I don't think is right), and I've gotten further along in work situations because of it (I used to cocktail). Also, my bosses when I was a receptionist used to tell me they were going to train me in sales and send me out in a short skirt.

My best friend is the super-model-look-a-like girl, and I'm not EVEN going to go into her treatment.

I am glad you brought this to our attention. I am going to make an effort to notice whether or not I treat women differently because of their appearence and make sure that I take corrective measures if I do.

...always a work in progress.

[Double D]

Hey, a Rookie. Welcome SabrinaFair!

I'd feel like a real hypocrite saying oh, it's so tough to be pretty. Screw that.

I think cheerios made a good point. It's not easy being a woman in this world (especially if you look beyond Westernized society.)

[Theresa]

Well I think it's harder to be pretty because of one reason. When you are used to being pretty and slim and it slowly goes away as you age or gain weight, it is harder on the person. When you have always been ugly I beleive it is accepted early, you deal, and get used to being treated a certain way and being overlooked.
You are only going to be pretty for so long and for the meantime you get many advantages. When you start to lose those perks it can be devastating.
This is how my mom explained it. She used to model clothes when she was 18 and she said ageing was really hard for her.

[sexymama]

I think the real question is what is pretty? I am average looking -- a little on the heavy side, but in good shape. Recently I met my "soul mate" (the most wonderful man - hi sweetheart if you read this!) I've noticed a real shift on how people treat me when I'm out in public simply because I'm presenting myself in a very upbeat mode. Pretty is a lot to do with attitude! I think it is a shame that our society focuses so much on looks. I have yet to meet a woman who is totally satisfied with the way she looks -- including my "super model" friends. What counts is accepting yourself and presenting a positive attitude to the world -- then you are truly beautiful!

[anti fishstick]

I've noticed a real shift on how people treat me when I'm out in public simply because I'm presenting myself in a very upbeat mode.

it's interesting how that usually happens once you're in a good relationship. i've noticed guys pay more attention to me and i get hit on a lot more when i'm *in* a relationship than when i'm not. i think its the vibe you put out which people can pick up on. attitude definately!

[yourmom12]

wow...how incredibly shallow. beauty is in the eye of the beholder blah blah blah we all know how the saying goes. but honestly, beauty will get you nowhere worth going in everyday situations. if somebody gives you special treatment because of your looks then they deserve you giving them a cold shoulder.

if i have to deal with another female who i see as having attractive qualities, yeah, i admire that...but if i see her treating others poorly or acting ugly, that pretty much shatters anything physical away. i'd say the woman who is kind and giving is one who is more attractive, no matter what sort of "flaws" she has. she is the one who will go further in life because people who matter will notice her.

i'd don't see what the big deal is with getting attention from strangers who think you're good looking. big whoop. if you self esteem is that low that you need for strangers to notice you then you need a new focus in life. i'd much rather be noticed for a skill or personality trait than because i have a nice ass.

and as women we can raise the bar for men in that area. don't encourage praise for your physical beauty; allow others to notice your other qualities.

[yourmom12]

i also forgot to mention that a good man will notice this too. who wants a man who was only attracted to her because of her physical beauty? or is that the only good quality you may have? hmmmmm

[StormBerlin]

I think it would be easier to be not so pretty in the long run. Then people take you seriously and you can know you got what you did because you earned it. I would also like to be able to walk to my car from my work and not be leered at. That would be nice.

[collide]

It really depends on the situation and what you mean by "easy". A pretty girl might be more prone to unwanted attention (cat calls are so rude), but the same can be said about ugly girls who will get harassed for other reasons. A sociologist might tell you that a pretty face will give you the advantage of promotion based on appearance alone, even if the ugly girl is better qualified. People (and I mean men and women alike) are more likely to pay attention to things that are aesthetically pleasing to the eye, whatever that may be.

[koli70]

I'd say being prettier is way easier, when your younger that is. Having a beautiful sister like I do, I've seen her go through and she gets a lot of perks and special treatment. She knows she can use her beauty to get whatever she wants, and she does.

[Steffi]

I wish I could say that people don't care what you look like on the outside, but I can't. It sucks that people can't seem to look past the outside of a woman. I can't say that either one has it easier than the other. Sometimes I think pretty women aren't taken very seriously. Sometimes they know they can get what they want without having to work for it, but I'm not saying that that's so horrible. But then there's the uglier girls who have to do everything for themselves. But I don't think that they have it that hard. If it comes down to whether or not guys think a girl is pretty, a lot of them will do anything for any kind of girl. So all in all, I believe that pretty girls do have it easier than less pretty girls.

[hotchocolate]

I think being prettier is easier, because at least pretty people get attention. Ugly people arent even given the time of day.

[BrinlyNoya]

Have you ever seen the movie "100 girls" I didn't particularly care for it. But Jaime Presley's character makes an interesting point. She hates that guys do everything for her because she is so pretty. She knows that whenever she succeeds, everyone will think its just becuase she is pretty, or had some guy do it for her. Its true though. Unattractive and attractive girls have to work equally hard to get respect. I love being average

[LittleOralAnnie]

Bah, I don't think pretty girls are any better than uglier ones. Ugly girls are just as capable of making a great life for themselves and going out there and getting what they want, including a good looking man.

I'd rather be average looking. Just enough beauty to cause a scene but not enough where all the attention is placed on me superficially.

[collide]

Noone's claiming that pretty girls are necessarily better. It's just that realistically, good-looking people generally have it easier than the average joe/jane. But I'm also with you on perferring average looks over polar extremes. Either way, girls will face a degree of hounding/harassment.

[curveedv8]

Being a "cute but overweight" girl myself, I wish I was pretty - . Although I work in a male dominated environment and I see the reactions pretty girls get, they get the looks, and the snickers and the "I wouldnt mind a bit of that" comments said behind their backs , at least when I go to work I know my colleagues are treating me with respect because I've earnt it.