And how many times a day do you do this? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jRuntlets · 07-23-2007, 10:13 PM

Hey ya'll,
It's been a long time since I've posted... but for good reason. I started seeing a new guy a few months ago and everything is fantastic, but I'm starting to wonder about something.

Backround:
We're not having sex for the time being because I'm not ready. However, we are having oral. We've got a strong basis for a relationship and open communication. He's happy with where we are despite the fact that we're not having sex yet.

Problem:
He seems to want a blow job up to three times a day. How many times a day would you do it? I've drawn the line at two, if he's lucky. I don't want to be his walking blow job, not to mention he's a MAGNIUM (if you know what I mean) so it's kind of an undertaking anyhow. He's explained that he doesn't view me that way but it's a nice thing to start and end the day, and sometimes in the middle. I feel like I'm saying no all the time, and he respects that but I still feel bad just because he's asked. What's normal? I've only gotten to this point in a relationship once before seeing him and it was short lived.

Do all guys want it this much? Do all girls have to turn their men down?

mandy · 07-24-2007, 04:56 AM

Let me tell you that guys would have blow jobs all day if they could

... just kidding

but ya, i love giving blow jobs but three a day seems a bit too much for me!

I mean, even though you guys aren't sexually active, three blow jobs seem a bit extreme...what ever happened to the good old fashioned way of "loving yourself?"

maybe it's cos you aren't having sex he feels that it's owed to him? maybe he's just lazy or maybe he just enjoys having your mouth envelop his quivering member that he just cant get enough of it...

but even so, whatever the case may be, i'll draw the line at one!

DONT BE GREEDY

abaya · 07-24-2007, 05:01 AM

Hmm... if I were you, I'd probably kick him in the balls, and then to the curb. But that's just me and my bitchy self.

Seriously though, most of us enjoy having someone go down on us (especially if the other person enjoys giving it), but *asking* for it 2-3 times a day is more than a little presumptuous, even if you did like doing it. Unless you're only giving him head like... twice a year, then he should chill out and let you get comfortable at your own pace.

Actually, this reminds me of that Sex and the City episode from the first season... where the brown-haired girl (forgot her name) has a great new boyfriend. Except for the fact that every time they start making out, he starts pushing her head down towards his crotch for a blow job.

She eventually breaks up with him because she doesn't like the pressure (literally!).

*Nikki* · 07-24-2007, 06:34 AM

Well it sounds to me like he is taking advantage of your giving nature

Adri · 07-24-2007, 08:54 AM

Is he reciprocating, ever? Or just demanding 3x/day blow jobs from the goodness of your heart? Or mouth, or whatever...

I've always found that if my husband wants a BJ but I'm not into it, a sexily-spoken, "I'd rather watch you take care of yourself" will excite him AND get me a free pass. :P

surferlove007 · 07-24-2007, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Actually, this reminds me of that Sex and the City episode from the first season... where the brown-haired girl (forgot her name) has a great new boyfriend. Except for the fact that every time they start making out, he starts pushing her head down towards his crotch for a blow job.

She eventually breaks up with him because she doesn't like the pressure (literally!).

Her name is Charlotte, love that show!
And yea, three times a day is crazy a lot.
I happened to be one of those girls who doesn't like giving head.
Wait, scratch that. I don't mind the giving part, it's the closer that puts me off.
Cum is so gross to me, it's like seawater in my mouth and makes me want to gag no matter how hard I try not to. I wish I had a better tolerance for it, but it just makes me want to vomit.
I feel bad for James because he's a big fan of bjs...thanks to past girlfriends..*sigh* and I'm really not. Makes me feel like I'm not up to par with them because I don't like to do it. He says I'm really good at it and that he enjoys it a lot so I do it on occasion but not as often as he'd like I'm sure which makes me feel guilty...and like I'm being a lousy girlfriend.
But...since I don't care for it too much he doesn't press the issue...instead it's probably "grumble grumble."
Also he used to ask me to use my mouth a little bit before we'd have sex but I said please don't ask, I'll do it when I'm ready. Which has worked great, so maybe try asking him not to ask you so much but to let you decide when you want to. That way you'll want to and he'll enjoy it.
Also...is he taking care of you as well? I certainly hope so.

Sultana · 07-24-2007, 08:01 PM

hey ghoastgirl, how does he feel about not cumming in your mouth? Can't he just finish up on your chest or something?

I understand where you're uhhh, cumming from.

I know I'll be castigated, but I'm not a fan of ending up with it in my mouth. So sue me.

As for the OP, Yes, it's too much. he's still pressuring you. If you were asking him to take out the trash 3x a day, wouldn't he get annoyed? Yes? Well then, he needs to imagine how *you're* feeling about this constant demand for what should be a gift.

surferlove007 · 07-24-2007, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultana

hey ghoastgirl, how does he feel about not cumming in your mouth? Can't he just finish up on your chest or something?

I understand where you're uhhh, cumming from.

Lol...he doesn't mind cumming else where but I think he prefers it in the mouth like most living, breathing men.

jRuntlets · 07-25-2007, 05:32 PM

Hey guys! Thanks for all the replies.

Yes, he's definately taking care of me as often as I'm willing to take care of him.

I'm glad to see that for most guys to want it this much is normal. I will talk to him about the whole asking thing though. I always encourage self love but I think he gets confused by the fact that I ask him not to several hours before I come over because then I'm down there for 45 minutes which is NOT fun.

Eowyn_Vala · 08-07-2007, 04:22 PM

So my hubby and I have great relationship where we can talk about all sorts of things including this. Upon reading this thread I asked him, how often would you like a BJ every day. He said anywhere from 1-3 would be accurate but he wouldn't ask. Part of that is just me not being there and the other part is that I'm not so hot on giving them. Occasionally they are fun, but I prefer not to. And I hate the taste of semen. Usually if I do go down on him, he'll finish up without having to cum in my mouth, which I greatly appreciate. He just told me that he doesn't blame me for not want to since he thinks it looks gross. He claimed it looked like penis snot.

So yeah, that seems like a lot to be asking. but it's probably normal horniness.

LiBan · 08-07-2007, 04:58 PM

Asking for it that often is being a bit pushy. Now, I think it's good that he asks instead of just hoping that you'll know when he wants it, and talking to him seems like a plan. I know how it is when your being asked all the time. It makes you feel cold and un-giving to say no, regardless of whatever else you are doing. I hope everything turns out alright.

Also, 45 minutes? Whew, you are a trooper.

cadre · 08-07-2007, 06:57 PM

Well as far as blow jobs go, I'm happy to do it a couple times a day or more if the chance presents itself. For us it's that my boyfriend doesn't have the sex drive that I do so it's often that I'm asking him for something three times a day. Which also makes you feel like crap when you know that your significant other doesn't want to do something as often as you do.

Sitting down and talking about everything is key.

abaya · 08-08-2007, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eowyn_Vala

He claimed it looked like penis snot.

This is awesome.

MissWilly · 08-15-2007, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cadre

For us it's that my boyfriend doesn't have the sex drive that I do so it's often that I'm asking him for something three times a day. Which also makes you feel like crap when you know that your significant other doesn't want to do something as often as you do.

Sitting down and talking about everything is key.

I have the same darn problem. Well, maybe I don't ask for it, but I certainly allude to it. And here I always thought guys wanted way more than females. I love giving Beej's but only if it is reciprocated. I go down on Sint when he's on the phone, just because I like to watch him squirm (never when he's on the phone with his mom, cuz that's just creepy), but that's the only time I don't expect some lovin' in return.

Midnight · 08-17-2007, 09:50 AM

hahaha.. your poor boyfriend - he should thank his lucky stars he's not with me. I don't ask for a guy to do down on me. ever. and i like it a hell of a lot. Why don't I ask? because i HATE giving blowjobs. closed-minded - sure maybe i am. I just think its disgusting, weather taken to completion or not. So, because I don't like giving them, I don't ask for the same treatment. I can imagine how much a guy loves it - I certainly do. but i'm not going to ask for something I don't want to be giving.

that being said... I DO give them on occasion, and because I will not do it often, I make damned sure it's WORTH waiting for. But asking for one is the surest way NOT to get one.

LickMistress · 08-22-2007, 06:17 PM

Start out with oral for a few and then start talking dirty/sexy/loving whatever and switch to a handjob while your talking to him and then start kissing his chest and neck and finish it up that way. They love seeing you down there so even if you give a few minutes of actual oral then a handjob while licking him all ovef he will still love it. Most guys don't like finishing themselves off so if you don't like swallowing point and shoot it where you like and don't stop till it is all out.

cadre · 08-23-2007, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissWilly

I have the same darn problem. Well, maybe I don't ask for it, but I certainly allude to it. And here I always thought guys wanted way more than females. I love giving Beej's but only if it is reciprocated. I go down on Sint when he's on the phone, just because I like to watch him squirm (never when he's on the phone with his mom, cuz that's just creepy), but that's the only time I don't expect some lovin' in return.

First comment: I'm no mod but I'll mention this for you. That color is very hard to read so please be aware of that.

Other than that, men tend to be pretty thick skulled and thus they don't pick up on "alluding" sometimes. Being straight forward works best in my experience.

Clare · 08-28-2007, 01:44 AM

i dont mind giving blowjobs ...well i like it ....but mostly because i love to see my boyfriend enjoying himself makes me feel a little powerful that i can stop at any time.

if he's givng you oral the same amount i wouldnt really complain make sure that he shows appreciation for you doing him a favor so to speak and doesnt just expect it.

let him know that when you dont exactly feel like sucking him off all the time you wont, and saying but if im really horny you wont be able to stop me (hopefully this will give a little time, where he's waiting until you're "super horny" and youll be having sex by then and he wont care anymore)

i dont know if that will work for you but thats what id say

Jenna · 08-29-2007, 10:48 PM

Well, I definitely don't give my boyfriend a blowjob to the point where he cums 3 times a day, but I pay attention to his penis, or suck it playfully, probably 1 - 3 times a day.

Honestly, I probably actually make him orgasm through a blowjob only once a week, maybe. It's not because I don't like it, I actually LOVE doing it! It's just because my boyfriend prefers having sex over getting a blowjob.

07-23-2007, 10:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
jRuntlets Crazy	And how many times a day do you do this? Hey ya'll, It's been a long time since I've posted... but for good reason. I started seeing a new guy a few months ago and everything is fantastic, but I'm starting to wonder about something. Backround: We're not having sex for the time being because I'm not ready. However, we are having oral. We've got a strong basis for a relationship and open communication. He's happy with where we are despite the fact that we're not having sex yet. Problem: He seems to want a blow job up to three times a day. How many times a day would you do it? I've drawn the line at two, if he's lucky. I don't want to be his walking blow job, not to mention he's a MAGNIUM (if you know what I mean) so it's kind of an undertaking anyhow. He's explained that he doesn't view me that way but it's a nice thing to start and end the day, and sometimes in the middle. I feel like I'm saying no all the time, and he respects that but I still feel bad just because he's asked. What's normal? I've only gotten to this point in a relationship once before seeing him and it was short lived. Do all guys want it this much? Do all girls have to turn their men down? __________________ Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.

07-24-2007, 04:56 AM	#2 (permalink)
mandy Addict Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa	Let me tell you that guys would have blow jobs all day if they could ... just kidding but ya, i love giving blow jobs but three a day seems a bit too much for me! I mean, even though you guys aren't sexually active, three blow jobs seem a bit extreme...what ever happened to the good old fashioned way of "loving yourself?" maybe it's cos you aren't having sex he feels that it's owed to him? maybe he's just lazy or maybe he just enjoys having your mouth envelop his quivering member that he just cant get enough of it... but even so, whatever the case may be, i'll draw the line at one! DONT BE GREEDY __________________ The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

07-24-2007, 05:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Hmm... if I were you, I'd probably kick him in the balls, and then to the curb. But that's just me and my bitchy self. Seriously though, most of us enjoy having someone go down on us (especially if the other person enjoys giving it), but asking for it 2-3 times a day is more than a little presumptuous, even if you did like doing it. Unless you're only giving him head like... twice a year, then he should chill out and let you get comfortable at your own pace. Actually, this reminds me of that Sex and the City episode from the first season... where the brown-haired girl (forgot her name) has a great new boyfriend. Except for the fact that every time they start making out, he starts pushing her head down towards his crotch for a blow job. She eventually breaks up with him because she doesn't like the pressure (literally!). __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran Last edited by abaya; 07-25-2007 at 03:23 AM..

07-24-2007, 08:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	hey ghoastgirl, how does he feel about not cumming in your mouth? Can't he just finish up on your chest or something? I understand where you're uhhh, cumming from. I know I'll be castigated, but I'm not a fan of ending up with it in my mouth. So sue me. As for the OP, Yes, it's too much. he's still pressuring you. If you were asking him to take out the trash 3x a day, wouldn't he get annoyed? Yes? Well then, he needs to imagine how you're feeling about this constant demand for what should be a gift. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

07-25-2007, 05:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
jRuntlets Crazy	Hey guys! Thanks for all the replies. Yes, he's definately taking care of me as often as I'm willing to take care of him. I'm glad to see that for most guys to want it this much is normal. I will talk to him about the whole asking thing though. I always encourage self love but I think he gets confused by the fact that I ask him not to several hours before I come over because then I'm down there for 45 minutes which is NOT fun. __________________ Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.

07-24-2007, 06:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Well it sounds to me like he is taking advantage of your giving nature

07-24-2007, 08:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
Adri Tilted Location: Orange County (the annoying one)	Is he reciprocating, ever? Or just demanding 3x/day blow jobs from the goodness of your heart? Or mouth, or whatever... I've always found that if my husband wants a BJ but I'm not into it, a sexily-spoken, "I'd rather watch you take care of yourself" will excite him AND get me a free pass. :P

08-07-2007, 04:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	So my hubby and I have great relationship where we can talk about all sorts of things including this. Upon reading this thread I asked him, how often would you like a BJ every day. He said anywhere from 1-3 would be accurate but he wouldn't ask. Part of that is just me not being there and the other part is that I'm not so hot on giving them. Occasionally they are fun, but I prefer not to. And I hate the taste of semen. Usually if I do go down on him, he'll finish up without having to cum in my mouth, which I greatly appreciate. He just told me that he doesn't blame me for not want to since he thinks it looks gross. He claimed it looked like penis snot. So yeah, that seems like a lot to be asking. but it's probably normal horniness. __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

08-07-2007, 04:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
LiBan Upright Location: Alabama	Asking for it that often is being a bit pushy. Now, I think it's good that he asks instead of just hoping that you'll know when he wants it, and talking to him seems like a plan. I know how it is when your being asked all the time. It makes you feel cold and un-giving to say no, regardless of whatever else you are doing. I hope everything turns out alright. Also, 45 minutes? Whew, you are a trooper.

08-07-2007, 06:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	Well as far as blow jobs go, I'm happy to do it a couple times a day or more if the chance presents itself. For us it's that my boyfriend doesn't have the sex drive that I do so it's often that I'm asking him for something three times a day. Which also makes you feel like crap when you know that your significant other doesn't want to do something as often as you do. Sitting down and talking about everything is key. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

08-17-2007, 09:50 AM	#15 (permalink)
Midnight Banned Location: Chicago's western burbs	hahaha.. your poor boyfriend - he should thank his lucky stars he's not with me. I don't ask for a guy to do down on me. ever. and i like it a hell of a lot. Why don't I ask? because i HATE giving blowjobs. closed-minded - sure maybe i am. I just think its disgusting, weather taken to completion or not. So, because I don't like giving them, I don't ask for the same treatment. I can imagine how much a guy loves it - I certainly do. but i'm not going to ask for something I don't want to be giving. that being said... I DO give them on occasion, and because I will not do it often, I make damned sure it's WORTH waiting for. But asking for one is the surest way NOT to get one.

08-22-2007, 06:17 PM	#16 (permalink)
LickMistress Upright	Start out with oral for a few and then start talking dirty/sexy/loving whatever and switch to a handjob while your talking to him and then start kissing his chest and neck and finish it up that way. They love seeing you down there so even if you give a few minutes of actual oral then a handjob while licking him all ovef he will still love it. Most guys don't like finishing themselves off so if you don't like swallowing point and shoot it where you like and don't stop till it is all out.

08-28-2007, 01:44 AM	#18 (permalink)
Clare Upright Location: England	i dont mind giving blowjobs ...well i like it ....but mostly because i love to see my boyfriend enjoying himself makes me feel a little powerful that i can stop at any time. if he's givng you oral the same amount i wouldnt really complain make sure that he shows appreciation for you doing him a favor so to speak and doesnt just expect it. let him know that when you dont exactly feel like sucking him off all the time you wont, and saying but if im really horny you wont be able to stop me (hopefully this will give a little time, where he's waiting until you're "super horny" and youll be having sex by then and he wont care anymore) i dont know if that will work for you but thats what id say

08-29-2007, 10:48 PM	#19 (permalink)
Jenna Psycho Location: Wisconsin	Well, I definitely don't give my boyfriend a blowjob to the point where he cums 3 times a day, but I pay attention to his penis, or suck it playfully, probably 1 - 3 times a day. Honestly, I probably actually make him orgasm through a blowjob only once a week, maybe. It's not because I don't like it, I actually LOVE doing it! It's just because my boyfriend prefers having sex over getting a blowjob.