madeodreams

i've been on this site for weeks now and i've seen how much people's advise help other with doubts and situations...and it's my time to open up and ask for help/advise...i don't talk to people about my problems, i bottle them up, i've been doing it all my life and then i met someone whom i've share all my secrets, dreams and fears and when it started we were all over each other, time passed and we moved in together and decided to try birth control to avoid "getting pregnant" well i started on orthoeva WOW it changed me, I didn't have feeling anymore, couldn't cry, nothing was funny and i was dry as anything, not to mention the lack of sexual drive, then we went to the pill...a little better but i started milking!!! yes milking and i'm not pregnant.. my gyno (gave up) and decided that a non hormonal IUD would probably be the best way to not get pregnant and go back to normal, it's been almost a year and not much has changed, my emotions are back, i still milk a little but my drive never came back...i'm so depressed i know my boyfriend loves me and we are trying everything, oils, toys, porn, but it's almost as if i'm dead, i've been seeng a pyschologist...i've considered leaving him because i don't think i'll ever be fixed and i don't want him to have to put up with this. Birth control ruined my life and i don't know how to go back to the young energetic me...anyone please

taboo

do condoms create any problems for you?

Tuft

How old are you? How long were you on orthoeva? What birth control were you on? For how long?

Is there a history of depression or other disorders in your family? If I have time (which I should), I'll do a little research on pyscINFO/pubmed/et cetera, to see if there have been any studies concerning the role of hormonal birthcontrol on the emotional well-being/neurotransmitter levels of women.

madeodreams

yes, i develop infections, and not to mention if i'm not wet enough the burning...I know there is always lube but then it's a whole production to just make love to him

I just turned 25, i was on othoevra for 6 months maybe a little more, and then the pill for another 6 moths. As far as i'm concered there is no history of depression in the family....I don't know if this helps but i'm not even 100 lbs and i have a very stressful job. I still don't see why I wouldn't be at least a little into it. thank you for your help

maleficent

How long were you on the birth control pills for... and how many different brands were you on?

You've been on the non hormonal IUD for a year, you said, but are you 100 percent certain that it was a non hormonal IUD that was inserted?

Since your original Gyno "gave up" have you tried a second or third gyno?

Going to a psychologist is good, if it helps, how long have you been seeing the current doctor? I've been told that if you are getting no where with the first psych... try a different one -- you might want a referral from your gyn who might deal with libido issues.

Sounds like you've got of emotional weight on your shoulders and head right now... When's the last time you totally relaxed and didn't think about it..

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Elphaba

Madeo, this drew my attention. Unless you are four feet tall, my quess it that you are underweight. (Yes, I was kidding about 4 feet). Couple that with extreme life stressors and I think you have found the answer to your lost libido. Are you eating healthy foods and getting ample rest at night?

If your mind/body have been under perpetual stress for a significant period of time, it is likely that you are experiencing a situational depression, and possibly a clinical one. Trust me on this one...depression kills libido.

There is a great thread in Knowledge, "Ask the Psychiatrist" by madp, that I suggest you bring this very same question to. His insight and knowledge might prove helpful to you.

My best to you.
Pen

Sage

I totally, completely second what Elphaba said. If your body is not healthy- if you're under a lot of stress, not eating right, underweight, possibly even borderline malnourished, then of COURSE your libido is going to take a nose dive.

First of all, keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend. He's being a GREAT support for you by being there through all your troubles. The LAST thing you wanna do right now is break up with him.

Secondly, go get another gyno, one that is more expierenced and sympathetic with your libido issues- this will help a LOT in evaluating why you're having them in the first place.

Thirdly, go get a complete physical- including bloodwork. You might be deficient and need to take some vitamins, or you might be anemic and not know it... there's a LOT of things that could be going on with your body that you don't know about, and changing them for the better would change your whole life. If you've been under a lot of stress for a really long time, it starts to wear your body down in a very serious, pronounced way. I would also recommend this step coupled with an evaluation by a nutritionist- no point in taking suppliments if you still eat like crap every day. Also, try and get enough sleep every night- this has made a HUGE difference in my sex life, as I'm not instantly thinking of falling asleep every time I'm in bed with my husband.

Also, evaluate your life with your thearapist. WHY are you in such a stressful job? Does it give you personaly satisfaction in some way? Is it a stepping stone to somewhere else in life you want to be? Trust me, there's always another job out there that sucks less than the one you're at right now. I was at a TERRIBLE job for three years, convinced that there was no way I could afford to quit, but it turned out that quitting that job was the BEST thing I could have done for myself and my relationship with my husband.


Take some time for yourself every week as well. If your entire life is revolving around your job and the mundane things in life (eating, sleeping, cleaning, that kinda thing) then of COURSE you're never going to be able to relax enough to have sex. Make a point of setting aside some time every week for yourself- just a few hours when you can put aside everything you've been thinking about and be alone with yourself. Go see a movie, go swimming, go read a book, just do something simple and fun, and LET yourself have fun while you do it. NO thinking about anything other than what you're doing. Live in the moment!

I would also recommend doing something physical every day. Go for a short walk, take a yoga class a few times a week, go hiking on the weekends. This is another great way to spend a little bit of time with yourself and relax.

Take charge of your life- don't let your life take charge of you. You are not your job, you are not your apartment, you are not the crap you own. You are YOU, and there's a great man right there with you who loves you and only wants the best for you. Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself, and take the steps necissary to making your life everything that YOU want it to be!

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ShaniFaye

have you tried non latex condoms? You may be too sensitive to use them. There are some great polyurethane ones out there

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Lady Sage

I had to go to 4 Gynos before i found one who cared enough to LISTEN let alone want to HELP!

Believe it or not I had the convo with my gyno about the whole... "drive" thing. She said believe it or not around 75% of women do not have the sex drive that we a) let on we have or b) men think we should have.

That is not to say that we dont enjoy it when we have it but we just dont feel the need to initiate it and we dont think we will die if we dont get it.

So she basicly told me I was normal and to relax. *smile*