Sage

I totally, completely second what Elphaba said. If your body is not healthy- if you're under a lot of stress, not eating right, underweight, possibly even borderline malnourished, then of COURSE your libido is going to take a nose dive.

First of all, keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend. He's being a GREAT support for you by being there through all your troubles. The LAST thing you wanna do right now is break up with him.

Secondly, go get another gyno, one that is more expierenced and sympathetic with your libido issues- this will help a LOT in evaluating why you're having them in the first place.

Thirdly, go get a complete physical- including bloodwork. You might be deficient and need to take some vitamins, or you might be anemic and not know it... there's a LOT of things that could be going on with your body that you don't know about, and changing them for the better would change your whole life. If you've been under a lot of stress for a really long time, it starts to wear your body down in a very serious, pronounced way. I would also recommend this step coupled with an evaluation by a nutritionist- no point in taking suppliments if you still eat like crap every day. Also, try and get enough sleep every night- this has made a HUGE difference in my sex life, as I'm not instantly thinking of falling asleep every time I'm in bed with my husband.

Also, evaluate your life with your thearapist. WHY are you in such a stressful job? Does it give you personaly satisfaction in some way? Is it a stepping stone to somewhere else in life you want to be? Trust me, there's always another job out there that sucks less than the one you're at right now. I was at a TERRIBLE job for three years, convinced that there was no way I could afford to quit, but it turned out that quitting that job was the BEST thing I could have done for myself and my relationship with my husband.


Take some time for yourself every week as well. If your entire life is revolving around your job and the mundane things in life (eating, sleeping, cleaning, that kinda thing) then of COURSE you're never going to be able to relax enough to have sex. Make a point of setting aside some time every week for yourself- just a few hours when you can put aside everything you've been thinking about and be alone with yourself. Go see a movie, go swimming, go read a book, just do something simple and fun, and LET yourself have fun while you do it. NO thinking about anything other than what you're doing. Live in the moment!

I would also recommend doing something physical every day. Go for a short walk, take a yoga class a few times a week, go hiking on the weekends. This is another great way to spend a little bit of time with yourself and relax.

Take charge of your life- don't let your life take charge of you. You are not your job, you are not your apartment, you are not the crap you own. You are YOU, and there's a great man right there with you who loves you and only wants the best for you. Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself, and take the steps necissary to making your life everything that YOU want it to be!

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