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Old 10-06-2005, 10:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Not sure what to call how I'm feeling.

Good-day.

I hope everyone is doing well.

I've got a situation which I'm not sure, frankly, how to explain. But maybe talking it out will help.

I've been working in various part time jobs since I graduated university with a B.Sc. in biology. All of the jobs have been ok, but not anything with long-term potential.

I recently got married and now the stresses of working unusual hours in the evening/weekends are starting to take the toll on us. As well, I'd like a job that pays better etc. than these ones do.

The issue is that while I'd like that, I don't seem to *really* want it. IE:I don't seem to have the motivation to solve this problem.

This is having a *very* bad effect on our relationship as my wife feels that I don't care about us, our marriage, etc. I do, a lot, but I think I'm just upset because I can't find anything to do (A biology B.Sc. is a rather useless thing).

Not sure what else to say so I'll stop there and hear what others have to say.

thanks.

EDIT: I think I posted this in perhaps the wrong forum. If Living is a better please move it there. Thank you.

Last edited by TheProf; 10-06-2005 at 11:07 AM..
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Old 10-06-2005, 11:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: DC/Coastal VA
Wow, I just finished a post on a B.A. student who had people tell him a B.A. degree was useless.

I am currently in D.C., without a job here, I still work fulltime where we were. I'm quitting on 10/28 and my wife is pressuring me to work ANYWHERE. Wal Mart, Books A Million, prostitution, anything. Given that we'll see no income off of my shapely ass, I've secured retail positions. I don't much care for folks, but I can talk about books with anybody, so BAMM is my extra income. Meanwhile, my deal with her, is that I get to go to graduate school, that refuge of the perpetually restless.

The fact is, any job between ages 20-30 is not long term. The average tenure of a 40 year old or less is 3 years, down from 5. So if she's expecting you to lock down with Kodak or IBM, those days are over and she needs to step off. Meanwhile, what is she doing? Are you the captain of the family?
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Old 10-06-2005, 11:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: South Florida
OKay this is exciting. i am 23 Yo male with little college education( as you can tell from my crappy typing and even worse spelling) and I make 24.50 an hour doing a job I love. with full benefits for free. Simply graduating college will not make you any money. You have to have a plan for your life. If you plan to achieve nothing than you wil most definitly achieve it. You have to have a plan for sucess.
Planning is one of the most important activities that you can engage in. it will at least hold you acountable to something. Its liek setting goals only a little more efficient.
Work hard and your work will shine through and you get everything you deserve.
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Old 10-06-2005, 11:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Taking a mulligan
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheProf


The issue is that while I'd like that, I don't seem to *really* want it. IE:I don't seem to have the motivation to solve this problem.
Sounds like you're just a little down in the dumps. It's hard to get motivated when you're depressed, even if it isn't the MAJOR kind of depression. Sometimes regular exercise and any kind of variety in your life, in addition to a plan for improvement, is all that's needed.

Good luck.
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Old 10-06-2005, 11:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
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Location: SW Oklahoma
I've worked shift work for over 20 years of my career and I know about odd hours and such. If you care about your wife try to make sure that you aren't taking your work frustration home and dumping it on her. She can be your life preserver if you will let her. If you drive her away you will only feel worse.

Back in the day, when I was young, any degree almost garuanteed that you would make good money from the start but now almost everyone has a degree and it's not enough. If you can't use the degree right now try to find something you actually enjoy doing for a while. Work for a landscaping company, sling burgers, what ever but don't let this start your life off on a bad note.

Save your home life first! Then worry about the rest. It's amazing what you can live through as a team.
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Old 10-06-2005, 12:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
Pissing in the cornflakes
 
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I got a B.S. degree and then went back to school for 9 more years.

A biology degree is pretty damn near worthless without an advanced degree to go with it. Either go back to school or find another avenue.
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Old 10-06-2005, 01:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
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Location: Upper Michigan
It sounds somewhat like she may have an unrealistic view of what work today can be like. Of the friends I know none of their work situations are ideal. Here's how things are for several families I know:
Over the road truck driver - SAHM and daycare provider - sees Dad about twice a week for a day or two.
Engineer in Ca - mom living in Wis to help her Dad who is ailing
Dad leaves for work late at night - Mom leaves for work early in the morning
Dad works 8-4 - Mom works M-T in Ca, comes home to Wis Fri am, gone Sun afternoon

We've been really lucky to actually settle down early. Hubby has worked the same job for 3 years as have I worked my home business for about that time. BUT until we did it was several years of part time jobs, multiple part time jobs, and moving at least once a year. We did that from '98 until 2001. I'm 31 and he's 27. It takes time. Some reach their comfort zone sooner than others.

Is the issue that between the two of you, you are unable to meet the basic bills? Or is she wanting to travel or something? Are both of you working and what kind of work? Perhaps you could bargain with her, for example: You put in two applications a week and I will do the same for a different better paying job. Some people are simply unable to hold down work and have less motivation than you do. At least you are dragging your butt out of bed each day to go do some sort of work. (Don't mention that to her though since it will likely come across as "Get off my back or I'll quit." - not a good way to get her on your side.)

I have a B.S. degree in Education. I have not attempted to look for work in over 3 years but until then I never had trouble finding at least part time work that I could live with.
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Old 10-06-2005, 11:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
Shade
 
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Location: Belgium
At this point, like others have said before, nothing is longterm yet.
You can do anything you put your mind to, you just need to put your mind to it.

a degree alone is not enough these days, I believe it was Cynthetiq that said: "A degree will only get you a foot in the door" The rest is really up to you.

You want a job that pays better? Call around, ask some former collegues, subscribe to boards and mailing lists in your area that offer jobs in your field, read papers that offer jobs (if you have those near you).

Dedicate 1 hour every 2 days to actively seeking, scanning through job offers, calling, following up, etc.

You should at the very least find something interesting, maybe not always with a better pay, but you might find something with better hours.

As a sidenote: what does your wife do as a job that she has a bit of a skewed view of the job market these days?

And don't tell yourself your degree is worth close to nothing. That only gets you down in the end. If you really have to change, take up an extra course, or something totally different. At the very least, when you go to an interview, you'll be able to say you're currently taking some extra classes in... It makes you stand out as somebody who still actively tries to better himself.
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