:( I'm sad and scared - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sue · 09-08-2005, 02:38 PM

Sam just told me he's getting deployed by the end of this year. I miss him already. I told him I NEED to see him before then, and then once more at least on whatever day it is I'd get to say goodbye to him. So twice, MINIMUM. God, my heart and adrenaline started goin real bad when he told me. I got the worst butterflies in my stomach ever. *sigh*

He's gonna get the longest letters anyone's ever written him. I'm even capable of filling up spiral notebooks.

I've never been through this before. I'm scared. I want to be with him right now and every single day up til his deployment. RIGHT.FUCKING.NOWDAMMIT. Fuck, I'm gonna cry. Pardon my swearing.

Lebell · 09-08-2005, 02:47 PM

It is always hard when loved one's go away. Email is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't replace being with someone.

My thoughts and prayers to you both.

j8ear · 09-08-2005, 03:51 PM

A big oooh-rah to Sam...and to you his sweet Mary-Jane back home, be strong for him, and love him as much as you can. As tough as your jar-head is...he is scared shitless, and will think of you everyday.

I did. It was one of the things that allowed me to keep it together. 'Ole Mary-Jane back home.

Stay away from Jodi too! He is nothing but trouble.

Thank you both for the sacrifice.

-bear

PS...Ask Sam about Mary-Jane Rotten-Crotch...if you haven't already heard about her. She is the perverbial lady waiting back home for her jar heads safe return...and don't get us started on that no-goodnik Jodi!

Grasshopper Green · 09-08-2005, 03:52 PM

I'm guessing he's going to Iraq?

Deployments suck. They are rough on everyone involved for obvious reasons. I would think it would be even harder as a girlfriend, because wives are kind of kept "in the loop" so to speak, about things that are going on during the deployment.

Be prepared for a lot of roller coaster emotions. I don't know what his situation is like, but hubby was infantry, so when he was in Iraq letters and emails were few and far between. For some reason, it seems like mail going to the troops takes less time than letters going back home; it will be quite awhile before you get your first. Write to him lots anyway. It really does help both of you. Send care packages. It's not easy, but before you know it his deployment will be over and he'll be coming home.

I'll keep you in my thoughts; I well remember the fear I felt when it became evident we were going to war and hubby was already in the area. Hugs for you, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to.

Sue · 09-08-2005, 04:31 PM

Lebell, thank you

j8ear - he said he had never heard of those names

Medusa, I'll probably take you up on PMing you as it gets closer to deployment time

j8ear · 09-08-2005, 04:41 PM

God Bless, Semper Fi, and Thank you both none the less.

Wierd, they were the most frequently used monikers I can remember...it's been more then 10 years though.

I wonder if Marines are still allowed God, Country, Corps? For some reason I doubt it

Anyway, I was just trying to encourage ~your~ strength....hope I didn't offend.

-bear

Sue · 09-08-2005, 04:45 PM

Didn't offend me one bit

and why wouldn't Marines be allowed that? I've heard Sam mention it several times.

Sue · 09-08-2005, 04:50 PM

Me too

Semper Fi!
edit: weird, this was supposed to be posted AFTER you...

j8ear · 09-08-2005, 04:50 PM

Because of the "God" part....

I'm glad it's still said.

-bear

^edit: and that wasn't there when I posted this.

Psycho Dad · 09-08-2005, 05:23 PM

When it gets close to deployment time, he will be able to give you instructions on how to write him with MotoMail. With MotoMail, he will get your letters much sooner than he would snailmail and it requires fewer resources for the Corp to deliver. Of course he won't be able to write back with it, but it keeps the Marines and sailors that are able to get it motivated. Also check into getting hem Segovia phone cards. They are what we have found to be the best for the money as far as Iraq deployments. Also check out www.marineparents.com as they welcome girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses as well as parents of Marines.

Sue · 09-08-2005, 06:09 PM

Psycho Dad, thanks so much for that all of that information, I appreciate it. The MotoMail is cool, but I plan on writing him lonnng letters, since that's what he likes the most

feelgood · 09-08-2005, 08:47 PM

Shuck, that really sucks Sue...my thoughts go out with you and Sam.

Be sure to email and mail him ALOT, and I do mean ALOT!!! That way, Sam can be reminded of home all the time and kept in check as to why he's fighting for his country, even though, war is rather shitty.

Sweetpea · 09-08-2005, 10:06 PM

my thoughts are with you and your loved one... deployments are... extremely difficult, just keep your strength up and give your support to him, having someone loving him and sending him support, mentally, emotionally and food wise

(read: send him his fav. candy bar) will lift his spirit and mean so much to him... you hang in there

Sweetpea

Sue · 09-09-2005, 11:42 AM

Had a dream last night where it was the day he was getting deployed. It was weird. I dreamed I saw him and 2 other guys being driven to an AF base in a car by someone.. someone's dad I think. He had his helmet on and goggles. But I was waiting wherever it was that you'd wait at to say goodbye or something. He finally got there, and I was waiting by the door. As soon as he came in I put my arms around him in the biggest hug EVER, and I wouldn't (didn't want to) let go. I said to him, "I don't want you to go. How will I get in touch with you?" He said, "Don't worry, I'll find you. It'll be alright." Then I HAD to let go of him so he could go and talk to other people and do other things he needed to do. The dream ended after that.
I guess this must be pretty heavy in my mind for me to dream about that.

Psycho Dad · 09-09-2005, 01:14 PM

I had a lot of dreams too Sue when my son left. Don't let any of them bother you too much. My dreams all dealt with my son needing things for Iraq that I could not supply him. I would search and search for items that he desperately would need but I failed every time to get them. I guess it was simply my subconscious letting me know that he was not only a well trained United States Marine, but a man and no longer a boy and that he was equipped to do without me getting him the things he needed. All I can give him now is love and support and he does fine with that it seems.

tecoyah · 09-09-2005, 01:59 PM

Anything I say will be too little to comfort, too weak to strengthen, and lack the warmth of the Hug I really want to give you. My hopes are with you both.

Carno · 09-09-2005, 05:11 PM

Sue, hope everything goes well and you get to see him before he leaves. Just remember that he's going over there with the best group of guys you could ever wish for him to go over there with. They will do anything for each other, and they will always be watching his back.

Just be glad he's not going over there with the Army.. lol. No disrespect to our soldiers, of course.

And yeah, the Marine Corps is still about God, Country, Corps. We had to pray every night before we hit the rack at OCS. Church every week..

seadevil · 09-09-2005, 07:08 PM

Sue,
If Sam starts to seem angry, agravated or ticked off at you, please don't let it affect your feelings for him. This is something that my wife and I have discussed since I retired. It seemed like everytime I was to deploy, those feelings started about a week before. By the time it was dday, we were at a point of ready to kill each other. We made it through though. I would always call just before the lines were casted off and apoligize.

You can make it through this, many others have before you. Also, my wife stayed with me the entire times which included over 12 years of sea duty. One year we were away from our homeport for 320 days out of 365.

My thoughts and prayers are with Sam and you. Please pass my thanks to him for his chosen profession.

Seadevil

texxasco · 09-09-2005, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carn

Sue, hope everything goes well and you get to see him before he leaves. Just remember that he's going over there with the best group of guys you could ever wish for him to go over there with. They will do anything for each other, and they will always be watching his back.

Just be glad he's not going over there with the Army.. lol. No disrespect to our soldiers, of course.

And yeah, the Marine Corps is still about God, Country, Corps. We had to pray every night before we hit the rack at OCS. Church every week..

..... ok.. Easy on the Army

BTrp, 2/17th Air Cavalry
101st ABN DIV
Fort Campbell, KY
1983-1986

Almost lifelong Army Brat.....

Be nice

Sue... There's been some good advice in this thread, but the most important is this...keep the letters coming. Sam will live for those letters. I deployed with Lockheed to Iraq the first time around, pre 9/11 as a civilian aircraft mechanic. We were supporting 1st Cav aircraft over there. I was there for about 8 months, and LIVED for letters from the wife. Granted I was not military then, but bullets don't discriminate. Last but not least, be proud of your Marine!

Sue · 09-10-2005, 12:05 PM

I'll be buying a spiral notebook and starting that. It'll be like a long ass letter, but kind of like a journal in a way too, only I'll be writing to him.

JumpinJesus · 09-10-2005, 12:23 PM

Something that might help is being able to talk to others in your situation. Are there other girlfriends or wives of Marines that you know that you could form some sort of group with?

It can sometimes feel pretty lonely if there is no one around who understands what you're going through. We often hear how difficult deployments are for the soldiers but don't hear enough how extremely difficult they are for loved ones at home. Being able to share your fears and concerns with others and to learn that you aren't alone in those feelings can be a big help.

The only other thing I can think to add is to echo what others have said: write often to him - that mail call can be one of the longest moments of the day when you're waiting for a letter. Just seeing a letter with your name on it can sometimes make the worst days seem that much better. Of all the crap he'll go through, I can promise that getting those letters are what will stay with him in his memory and years later will be what he remembers most.

Sue · 09-10-2005, 12:39 PM

JJ: yeah, I belong to a couple of Livejournal Communities for that, and I also have a girl friend of mine whose husband is a Marine, so I know I can talk to her if I need to. Thanks for all your support here though, it means a lot to me.

amonkie · 09-10-2005, 07:17 PM

We can't see into the future, but know that what your boy is doing is showing the world the size of his heart, and you're smack dab in the middle of it

*HUG*

ophelia783 · 09-13-2005, 12:20 PM

Good luck with your relationship.

LDRs are tough to begin with, and I can't imagine being in a warzone makes it any easier....

stevo · 09-13-2005, 01:00 PM

Thank you both for your sacrifice. He'll do a damn fine job and be back to you soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Psycho Dad · 09-13-2005, 02:11 PM

A couple of things I forgot about Sue...

Our son's CO sent a couple of e-mails from Iraq. Our son gave the CO the e-mail addies and we received a newsletter of sorts after Operation Matador (as well as a phone call the CO allowed from the satellite phone in one of the LAVs). Many units also update their websites from time to time during a deployment. Many units in my son's battalion have posted pictures although his company has not been so good at it as others have.

Also the battalion will likely have a telephone hotline that gets updated once or twice a month. The number for this hotline can be found from the battalion's website or the Marine Parents website I mentioned earlier. BTW, if you haven't yet, go to the Marine Parents website and get started, you will meet many people there that have been through this before and will give you more tips and support than you can imagine.

And lastly, keep that Yahoo Messenger or MSN Messenger on at all times and the volume on so you will hear if he comes online at night. There is about a nine hour time difference and when they have access to the phine centers, they usually can get some online time as well.

Keep your chin up and keep supporting your Marine.

Sue · 09-13-2005, 02:41 PM

Yeah, I've been checking out the site a lot. Thanks for showing it to me.

If I don't have internet access in my new apartment by the time his deployment comes up, I'll just forward my AIM name to my phone.

09-08-2005, 02:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	:( I'm sad and scared Sam just told me he's getting deployed by the end of this year. I miss him already. I told him I NEED to see him before then, and then once more at least on whatever day it is I'd get to say goodbye to him. So twice, MINIMUM. God, my heart and adrenaline started goin real bad when he told me. I got the worst butterflies in my stomach ever. sigh He's gonna get the longest letters anyone's ever written him. I'm even capable of filling up spiral notebooks. I've never been through this before. I'm scared. I want to be with him right now and every single day up til his deployment. RIGHT.FUCKING.NOWDAMMIT. Fuck, I'm gonna cry. Pardon my swearing. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-08-2005, 02:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	It is always hard when loved one's go away. Email is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't replace being with someone. My thoughts and prayers to you both. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-08-2005, 03:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
j8ear Gentlemen Farmer Location: Middle of nowhere, Jersey	A big oooh-rah to Sam...and to you his sweet Mary-Jane back home, be strong for him, and love him as much as you can. As tough as your jar-head is...he is scared shitless, and will think of you everyday. I did. It was one of the things that allowed me to keep it together. 'Ole Mary-Jane back home. Stay away from Jodi too! He is nothing but trouble. Thank you both for the sacrifice. -bear PS...Ask Sam about Mary-Jane Rotten-Crotch...if you haven't already heard about her. She is the perverbial lady waiting back home for her jar heads safe return...and don't get us started on that no-goodnik Jodi! __________________ It's alot easier to ask for forgiveness then it is to ask for permission.

09-08-2005, 03:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I'm guessing he's going to Iraq? Deployments suck. They are rough on everyone involved for obvious reasons. I would think it would be even harder as a girlfriend, because wives are kind of kept "in the loop" so to speak, about things that are going on during the deployment. Be prepared for a lot of roller coaster emotions. I don't know what his situation is like, but hubby was infantry, so when he was in Iraq letters and emails were few and far between. For some reason, it seems like mail going to the troops takes less time than letters going back home; it will be quite awhile before you get your first. Write to him lots anyway. It really does help both of you. Send care packages. It's not easy, but before you know it his deployment will be over and he'll be coming home. I'll keep you in my thoughts; I well remember the fear I felt when it became evident we were going to war and hubby was already in the area. Hugs for you, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

09-08-2005, 04:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Lebell, thank you j8ear - he said he had never heard of those names Medusa, I'll probably take you up on PMing you as it gets closer to deployment time __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-08-2005, 04:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
j8ear Gentlemen Farmer Location: Middle of nowhere, Jersey	God Bless, Semper Fi, and Thank you both none the less. Wierd, they were the most frequently used monikers I can remember...it's been more then 10 years though. I wonder if Marines are still allowed God, Country, Corps? For some reason I doubt it Anyway, I was just trying to encourage ~your~ strength....hope I didn't offend. -bear __________________ It's alot easier to ask for forgiveness then it is to ask for permission.

09-08-2005, 04:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Didn't offend me one bit and why wouldn't Marines be allowed that? I've heard Sam mention it several times. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-08-2005, 04:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Me too Semper Fi! edit: weird, this was supposed to be posted AFTER you... __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-08-2005, 04:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
j8ear Gentlemen Farmer Location: Middle of nowhere, Jersey	Because of the "God" part.... I'm glad it's still said. -bear ^edit: and that wasn't there when I posted this. __________________ It's alot easier to ask for forgiveness then it is to ask for permission. Last edited by j8ear; 09-08-2005 at 05:04 PM..

09-08-2005, 05:23 PM	#10 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	When it gets close to deployment time, he will be able to give you instructions on how to write him with MotoMail. With MotoMail, he will get your letters much sooner than he would snailmail and it requires fewer resources for the Corp to deliver. Of course he won't be able to write back with it, but it keeps the Marines and sailors that are able to get it motivated. Also check into getting hem Segovia phone cards. They are what we have found to be the best for the money as far as Iraq deployments. Also check out www.marineparents.com as they welcome girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses as well as parents of Marines. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

09-08-2005, 06:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Psycho Dad, thanks so much for that all of that information, I appreciate it. The MotoMail is cool, but I plan on writing him lonnng letters, since that's what he likes the most __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-08-2005, 08:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	Shuck, that really sucks Sue...my thoughts go out with you and Sam. Be sure to email and mail him ALOT, and I do mean ALOT!!! That way, Sam can be reminded of home all the time and kept in check as to why he's fighting for his country, even though, war is rather shitty. __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

09-08-2005, 10:06 PM	#13 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	my thoughts are with you and your loved one... deployments are... extremely difficult, just keep your strength up and give your support to him, having someone loving him and sending him support, mentally, emotionally and food wise (read: send him his fav. candy bar) will lift his spirit and mean so much to him... you hang in there Sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

09-09-2005, 11:42 AM	#14 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Had a dream last night where it was the day he was getting deployed. It was weird. I dreamed I saw him and 2 other guys being driven to an AF base in a car by someone.. someone's dad I think. He had his helmet on and goggles. But I was waiting wherever it was that you'd wait at to say goodbye or something. He finally got there, and I was waiting by the door. As soon as he came in I put my arms around him in the biggest hug EVER, and I wouldn't (didn't want to) let go. I said to him, "I don't want you to go. How will I get in touch with you?" He said, "Don't worry, I'll find you. It'll be alright." Then I HAD to let go of him so he could go and talk to other people and do other things he needed to do. The dream ended after that. I guess this must be pretty heavy in my mind for me to dream about that. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-09-2005, 01:14 PM	#15 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I had a lot of dreams too Sue when my son left. Don't let any of them bother you too much. My dreams all dealt with my son needing things for Iraq that I could not supply him. I would search and search for items that he desperately would need but I failed every time to get them. I guess it was simply my subconscious letting me know that he was not only a well trained United States Marine, but a man and no longer a boy and that he was equipped to do without me getting him the things he needed. All I can give him now is love and support and he does fine with that it seems. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

09-09-2005, 01:59 PM	#16 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Anything I say will be too little to comfort, too weak to strengthen, and lack the warmth of the Hug I really want to give you. My hopes are with you both.

09-09-2005, 05:11 PM	#17 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Sue, hope everything goes well and you get to see him before he leaves. Just remember that he's going over there with the best group of guys you could ever wish for him to go over there with. They will do anything for each other, and they will always be watching his back. Just be glad he's not going over there with the Army.. lol. No disrespect to our soldiers, of course. And yeah, the Marine Corps is still about God, Country, Corps. We had to pray every night before we hit the rack at OCS. Church every week.. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/ Last edited by Carn; 09-09-2005 at 05:16 PM..

09-09-2005, 07:08 PM	#18 (permalink)
seadevil Upright	Sue, If Sam starts to seem angry, agravated or ticked off at you, please don't let it affect your feelings for him. This is something that my wife and I have discussed since I retired. It seemed like everytime I was to deploy, those feelings started about a week before. By the time it was dday, we were at a point of ready to kill each other. We made it through though. I would always call just before the lines were casted off and apoligize. You can make it through this, many others have before you. Also, my wife stayed with me the entire times which included over 12 years of sea duty. One year we were away from our homeport for 320 days out of 365. My thoughts and prayers are with Sam and you. Please pass my thanks to him for his chosen profession. Seadevil

09-10-2005, 12:05 PM	#20 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	I'll be buying a spiral notebook and starting that. It'll be like a long ass letter, but kind of like a journal in a way too, only I'll be writing to him. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-10-2005, 12:23 PM	#21 (permalink)
JumpinJesus Junkie Location: Chicago	Something that might help is being able to talk to others in your situation. Are there other girlfriends or wives of Marines that you know that you could form some sort of group with? It can sometimes feel pretty lonely if there is no one around who understands what you're going through. We often hear how difficult deployments are for the soldiers but don't hear enough how extremely difficult they are for loved ones at home. Being able to share your fears and concerns with others and to learn that you aren't alone in those feelings can be a big help. The only other thing I can think to add is to echo what others have said: write often to him - that mail call can be one of the longest moments of the day when you're waiting for a letter. Just seeing a letter with your name on it can sometimes make the worst days seem that much better. Of all the crap he'll go through, I can promise that getting those letters are what will stay with him in his memory and years later will be what he remembers most. __________________ "I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

09-10-2005, 12:39 PM	#22 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	JJ: yeah, I belong to a couple of Livejournal Communities for that, and I also have a girl friend of mine whose husband is a Marine, so I know I can talk to her if I need to. Thanks for all your support here though, it means a lot to me. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

09-10-2005, 07:17 PM	#23 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	We can't see into the future, but know that what your boy is doing is showing the world the size of his heart, and you're smack dab in the middle of it HUG __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

09-13-2005, 12:20 PM	#24 (permalink)
ophelia783 Insane Location: West Virginia	Good luck with your relationship. LDRs are tough to begin with, and I can't imagine being in a warzone makes it any easier.... __________________ ~~ He with a sharp tongue slits his own throat ~~

09-13-2005, 01:00 PM	#25 (permalink)
stevo Rail Baron Location: Tallyfla	Thank you both for your sacrifice. He'll do a damn fine job and be back to you soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. __________________ "If I am such a genius why am I drunk, lost in the desert, with a bullet in my ass?" -Otto Mannkusser

09-13-2005, 02:11 PM	#26 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	A couple of things I forgot about Sue... Our son's CO sent a couple of e-mails from Iraq. Our son gave the CO the e-mail addies and we received a newsletter of sorts after Operation Matador (as well as a phone call the CO allowed from the satellite phone in one of the LAVs). Many units also update their websites from time to time during a deployment. Many units in my son's battalion have posted pictures although his company has not been so good at it as others have. Also the battalion will likely have a telephone hotline that gets updated once or twice a month. The number for this hotline can be found from the battalion's website or the Marine Parents website I mentioned earlier. BTW, if you haven't yet, go to the Marine Parents website and get started, you will meet many people there that have been through this before and will give you more tips and support than you can imagine. And lastly, keep that Yahoo Messenger or MSN Messenger on at all times and the volume on so you will hear if he comes online at night. There is about a nine hour time difference and when they have access to the phine centers, they usually can get some online time as well. Keep your chin up and keep supporting your Marine. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

09-13-2005, 02:41 PM	#27 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Yeah, I've been checking out the site a lot. Thanks for showing it to me. If I don't have internet access in my new apartment by the time his deployment comes up, I'll just forward my AIM name to my phone. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.