rockzilla

I've been working in the kitchen of a homeless shelter for the last 2 1/2 years. All in all, it's been a great place to work. The pay is above-average, they've supported me as I went back to school, even helped me with the cost of tuition. I've been given opportunities to take on more responsibilities.... but that's part of the problem.

While the Head Chef and I get along great, the Sous Chef (Assistant Manager) is a close, personal friend of his and is less than capable of doing her job. The only thing she seems to be good at is dodging the blame for things that fall under her list of responsibilities, leaving the blame to fall squarely on my shoulders. When it comes to her word against mine, I always lose. Even on occasions where I've proven that the assistant manager was at fault, she never faces any disciplinary actions and continues to get away with leaving early and leaving her jobs for me to finish or to re-do properly.

I'd bring this up with Human Resources, but despite the HR department's claims of confidentiality, these things always have a way being made public, and I'm sure there would be hell to pay if the Chef found out that I had gone behind his back to voice my concerns about his best friend's lack of competence despite numerous times where we've discussed her shortcomings as a manager and what my duties and responsibilities are.

I feel like I've hit a dead end. I don't think I'll rise above the rank of pseudo-manager, I'm told to take more initiative, but when I do, I'm chastized for overstepping my bounds. When I refuse responsibility for something that should really be handled by a manager, I'm told the exact opposite. When I couple this with the fact that I feel like I've learned all that I can at this job and that I won't grow as a Chef until I start cooking in a more upscale environment, the only conclusion I can come to is that it's time to move on.

There just one small problem. I'm currently registered as an apprentice chef, I need to log 6000 hours of work with signatures from my Chef to prove that I've spent x amount of hours making soup, working with poultry and so on. I've got about 5000 of those hours, but no signatures. I can transfer those hours to another employer, but it would be a waste of the last 2 1/2 years of my life to leave without those signatures, and I'm worried that asking for them now would raise some red flags with my boss about how much longer I'd be staying. I'd also like to get a reference letter, but that would be an even bigger indicator of my desire to leave.

I know it won't be too hard for me to find something that pays as much, if not more working at a large hotel, and that's the kind of environment that would best benefit my carreer, but how can I either explain to a prospective employer that I don't want my current employers knowing that I'm looking elsewhere or obtain a reference letter without my employer suspecting that I may defect?

shesus

I know your frustration about working with people who are not qualified and management issues. I can also tell you from experience that there are problems in any job you take. I can't speak from a chef's point of view (I have only been a waitress), but I am a teacher and the politics in that job is horrendous. I have taught in 4 districts and each time it seems the problems are worse. I have finally decided to stay put, even though the administrators are not the best and the work environment is not the safest. I am now teaching in an inner-city school. Anyway, this isn't about me...
It looks to me as if you are very close to finishing your apprenticeship. My advice (take it or leave it) would be to stick it out and after you get your hours and signatures start looking elsewhere. Sometimes leaving can put you in a worse situation even though, at the time, it doesn't seem it could get any worse.

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Jinn

Woo.. thats tough.. I know I would react very poorly in that situation if I had to make the decision without forethought.

Thinking it through rationally, I think the best option is to sit down with your current boss. Basically re-read this post to him; you don't think you've got much to learn, you want to become a more prominent chef and need experience elsewhere, you've enjoyed working there but sometimes felt like he was taking sides, etc.. etc. While he may disagree, I know that he'll be more than happy to give you your recommendation and transfer your hours if you've given him a solid reason that he can empathasize with (once being an apprentice chef himself, I assume).

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Blue Fish

I have found that it is usually not that big of a deal when you have to approach your current boss about the idea that you might be moving on. Just about all of my former employers have been positive because I was advancing myself in a way that they just could not provide (available position, pay, etc). My current employer actually accelerated my promotion when he found out I was being offered (and looking at) a position at another company.

I would sit down and talk to your current boss explaining that you are at a point where you need to move on in order to gain experience in your field that your current position just can't provide. Don't press the idea that you want to leave because you are unhappy. Most reasonable people who have any sort of work experience will be more then happy to help you, especially if you are on good terms with them. Good luck.

zen_tom

Yeah, as Blue Fish says, just be up front and tell your boss that you're getting itchy feet, and think it's time to move on, and would they mind providing your signatures.

If your boss wants you to stay, they will ask you why you want to leave, and you can decide whether to tell him the full version, or just one that states it's time to move on to bigger things.

ratbastid

I don't really understand this "I think I want to move on but I don't want my boss to know" mindset. Unless there's something really nasty going on, honesty is always the best policy in matters like this.

I've heard of workplaces where only favorites get hours and people agitating for change or complaining too much get shut out or messed with (recommendations/signatures withheld, stuff like that). Doesn't sound like that's your situation, so I recommend you pipe right up. You're all adults there.

As somebody who has had staff working for him in the past: you're actually doing your boss a big favor to have him in the loop about this. What would suck for him is for you to keep it under your hat and then give two weeks' notice, and leave him shorthanded. You would give two weeks' notice, right?

Marvelous Marv

My opinion, which is worth what you paid for it, is a little different.


First of all, by my calculations, you need to work 25 more 40-hour weeks to hit 6000. That's six months.

After reaching that milestone, no reasonable employer could refuse a request to get a signature indicating your completion of same.

I disagree with some of the other members in that you've established that the head chef knows of the problem, but he isn't going to do anything about it. Therefore, AFTER you have those signatures, my advice would be to relate the problem you're experiencing to him in much the same way that you did here. Additionally, you could have documented the problems that occured during the six-month period, as additional backup to your position.

Your discussion will either improve things, or give you an opportunity to give two weeks' notice.

BTW, I'm an employer, and two weeks normally isn't enough time to get anyone else, but you don't want to quit without notice.

I have definitely seen some bosses who, upon receiving notice, told the people not to come back. They're out there.

So I think it's a little risky to be too up-front about your plans to move on. It all depends on what kind of person you think the head chef is.

My $.02.

Cynthetiq

I'm a firm believer of play your cards close to your vest, especially when there is nepotism or favoritism involved. I definitely give the honorable 2 weeks notice, but sometimes tipping your hand can get you shittier shifts, worse working conditions. It all just depends on your boss and how much you trust him.

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ncgti

A good rule of thumb is that when you are excited about going to work less than 50% of the time - lees than 3 days a week, then its time to move on.

You should talk to your boss about the fact that you are getting mixed messages about taking responsibilties and that you looking to improve or get additional experiences at work. That way you have at least opened the door for getting feedback on your performance and it shows that you do have some ambition and are looking to improve.

If I were you, I wouldn't discuss the fact that you are thinking about leaving - like the others said, that could make your life worse. Unless your manager is as dumb as a post, they will most likely be able to read between the lines and guess that you are at least thinking about moving on.

As far as the 6000 hours item - could you not take the "reasonable person" approach with any prospective employers. Show them some other type of proof such as time sheets or pay stubs that could give evidence of your experience. I would think that if you could explain your current situation to a new employer they would be sympathetic and could work out a some kind of deal to prove later on that you have the hours you need. If not, I'm not sure I'd want to work for them anyway.

maleficent

Your Job: Signs you've stayed too long
They're not as obvious as they may seem. Ignore them, and you could find yourself in worse shape.
By Jeanne Sahadi, CNN/Money senior writer

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) – When your grandmother asks "Would you like some bread, honey?" you're most likely to say: "Yes, please" or "No, thanks."

You're not likely to do what I did once: burst into tears.

That incident was one sign I had stayed too long at a job where I logged countless hours doing work that paid far more in stress than money. The other was the recurring thought that if I were hit by a bus I would regret how I spent my last months on earth.

I finally quit, but that's the last time I'll wait for such a dramatic breaking point to take my leave.

"People think the time to leave is when things become unbearable, or is a function of the time you've been there. It's not," said Dory Hollander, a career coach, workplace psychologist and author of "The Doom-Loop System."

For the sake of comparison, here's how Hollander defines being satisfied with your job: you can see yourself in three or four years still liking your work, you like the company culture and your coworkers, and the job isn't interfering unduly with the rest of your life. (And no, "unduly" doesn't mean having to show up every day.)

With that, here are some telling signs that you should start thinking about making an exit – or at least pursue more rewarding opportunities at the same company.

You have a lot on your mind, just not work. The work doesn't challenge you and time hangs. "Boredom is a big factor," Hollander said. "When it's just a job, it's time to leave."

Things change, not to your advantage. The boss you got along with so well leaves, or worse, takes on a new favorite employee. Eventually that person gets layered in above you on the corporate ladder, intercepting your access to the boss, taking over plum projects and moving you out of the decision-making loop.

Hollander describes this as "death by a thousand cuts." The change is subtle at first, but your loss of status compounds over time.

Your boss takes you for granted. You do something well and you get pigeonholed as the company expert in that area. Or you're no longer seen as having potential for new projects. Or, just as bad, you're known as the good corporate citizen who'll do whatever you're asked – including relocating multiple times.

You pigeonhole yourself. Hollander knows top performers who stay at their jobs because they don't believe they could succeed elsewhere. "The longer you're at a place, the more you think your success depends on your environment," she said. Or you lose confidence that you can do anything else.

Your mood ranges from angry to angrier. No matter how well-regarded your work is or once was, if you develop a reputation as a depressing crank, colleagues will distance themselves. And that isolation can make you more vulnerable in a layoff.

You feel like hell. Unhappiness can undermine your health, said Paul Spector, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at the University of South Florida. Early signs of excess stress: stomachaches, headaches and insomnia.

'Okay, but get real'

I'm fully expecting angry emails from readers who'll complain that it's a luxury to think that you can "just change jobs" if you feel you've been there too long.

Hiring may be sparse in your field. You may be supporting a family and need the money -- to say nothing of the insurance. You only have a few years before fully vesting in your stock options. Or you're retiring in fewer than 15 years and want to maximize the pension you get.

If that's the case and you plan to stay, do more than just suck it up.

Don't see yourself as a wage slave. "See your job as a funding source for what you want to do next," Hollander said. "Do what's required and do it as quickly as you can, then network with those who can give you the growth you need for the next job."

And try to develop new skills that will serve you well when you do leave.

Because the trouble with waiting – to vest, to retire, to get promoted – is that it doesn't always pay off. There's nothing stopping employers from letting you go five minutes before you reach your goal. And the terms of your exit will be theirs, not yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
interesting article

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shakran

if you do decide to move on, explain to the chef that they'repaying you more where you're going. You'd just LOVE to stay but you've run up some debts and have to take the higher paying job in order to get yourself out of trouble.

That'll get you out of there without offending anyone, and should get you your signatures.

rockzilla

Thanks for the advice everyone. Having given the matter some thought, I think it's best for me to stay put for the next couple of months. I'm just going to keep my head down and my mouth shut. I won't do anything that doesn't fall directly under my job description. I'm going to have one more talk with my boss about my responsibilities and hopefully get his signatures for my apprenticeship. If he refuses, it's no big deal. My Record of Employment will have my total hours worked on it and I'll be able to send that to the government agency that regulates my apprenticeship, and I would be able to finish things off with a new employer.
I would never tell my boss of any plans to leave before I had something lined up that was a sure thing. I would give at least two weeks notice, but he can be a vengeful prick and I worry that if I showed a desire to leave, he would either make my life hell or get me fired on technicalities.

Marvelous Marv

Good luck, and let us know how things work out.

shesus

Good luck Rock. Keep you chin up, everything will work out fine. I'll let you use my mentra (sp?): This too shall pass

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company