07-01-2005, 06:42 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Watcher
Location: Ohio
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Fireworks Laws as a Freedom Gauge
I personally have this insane theory that your state's fireworks laws give a good indication of how much you lean towards being communist bastards.
For example: I love Ohio's law. Check this: Sparklers, trick noisemakers & novelties are exempt under Ohio law. Other consumer fireworks may be sold to Ohio residents upon execution of a form agreeing to take the items out to the state within 48 hours, or to out-of state residents upon execution of a form agreeing to take the items out the state within 72 hours. That's like saying, "You're going to take these fireworks out of the state within 48 hours, right?" "Sure, I promise they will not be in the great state of Ohio within 48 hours. Promise. Sure, I'll sign that." I love that. Another: age of purchase: (Tennesee) 10 years. w00t for Tennesee. Nothing says, "I'm an American" like a bunch of 10 year olds armed with explosives. Massachusetss, the land of the "free," all fireworks, of any kind, are PROHIBITED. Fucking commies. Fucked in AZ also. What? People will set the sand on fire? Commies also. DC is so complicated there's a 50% chance whatever you have is illegal depending on how you look at it. Imagine that. DC. Having an overly complex law. What are the odds? I LOVE TEXAS. Those fuckers are like, "buy anything you want, except for military ordiance, and even that's okay if you're over 18" "Set off napalm, we don't care." No, not really. Texas does prohibit "small rockets (less than 4 gms propellant, and casings less than ?” x 3 ½” overall length." I read that as meaning: "Don't buy little rockets you pussy, get this big 10 footer over here!" Don't even bother reading Utah's. I think they're commies, but I'm not sure. They're awfully specific. Nebraska has the right idea: " Samples for all fireworks must be submitted to Fire Marshal prior to sale for separate test shoot examination." You know that's the best job. Picture the Fire Marshal: "Yup, I'm gonna have to spend all day setting off, I mean "test shooting and examining" this giant buttload of free fireworks. Gotta protect the citizenry, you know?" These damn east coast states. Commies. Delaware: "No consumer fireworks are permitted in Delaware. All consumer fireworks are prohibited Delaware." Well shit. They just blew their tourist draw. Wait. Delaware had no tourist draw. Never mind. How communist is your state? I found a good listing of laws right here.
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07-01-2005, 06:56 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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New jersey:
CONSUMER FIREWORKS Specifically Permitted None Specifically Prohibited Torpedoes, firecrackers, fireworks containing yellow or white phosphorus or mercury, sparklers, fireworks containing an ammonium salt, and a chlorate. ~~~~~~~~~~~ i personally have no problem with the ban on them - I just wish it was enforced as I've listened to people blow off firecrackers (and not the pretty ones) for the past few weeks. A few years back, when I lived on Staten island, also prohibited there, the people across the street, a fireman actually (with a vicious dog) and three pre teen sons, the kids were left unsupervised all day, and for weeks on end would blow off firecrackers, nothign was done... (I called the police more than once because it was annoying and they were too young) Then one day the kids decided that putting a whole bunch into a metal trash can and set them off would be fun... It created a huge bang, followed by a lot of screaming as one of the boys blew off a few fingers... Stupid parents, stupid kids, unnecessary injury. Leave fireworks to the professionals... The Gruccis put on a good show, watch them
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07-01-2005, 07:01 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Dopefish
Location: the 'Ville
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Kentucky is great, all of the fun stuff is illegal, but we can go to TN, OH, or IN to get the good ones we want and we are taking them out of state legitimately.
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If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. |
07-01-2005, 07:04 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Considering the number of fires that were started on Victoria Day this year in Toronto due to the incorrect use of fireworks I don't have a problem with putting certain restrictions on the sale of fireworks.
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
07-01-2005, 08:19 AM | #6 (permalink) | |
Lennonite Priest
Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA
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Gotta love Ohio, you can tell them you are taking them to ANY state sign the waiver and go (it's a high misdemeanor/low felony I believe to sign and then get caught in Ohio seeting them off) . Yet, I believe it is illegal to carry fireworks across statelines (I maybe wrong) AND I can say I am taking them to Delaware where they are totally illegal.
Although, in all honesty when I do buy I tell them N. Carolina is my destination. Where their law is: Quote:
Ohio does have massive fines if caught and prosecuted. I have never been but a friend lit some bottle rockets and loud stuff off in Mansfield at 3 AM and his neighbors called the cops. All they did was confiscate them and cite him for public nuisance.
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?" |
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07-01-2005, 10:05 AM | #9 (permalink) | |
Junkie
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No fireworks = communist? Someone took their propaganda pills today.
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Although it would be fun to have them, kids don't need to play with explosives. |
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07-01-2005, 10:22 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Poo-tee-weet?
Location: The Woodlands, TX
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California - Firecrackers, skyrockets, rockets, roman candles, chasers, sparklers over 10”or ¼ diameter, surprise items, friction items, torpedoes, items resembling food, fireworks containing arsenic, phosphorus, thiocyanates magnesium (magnesium alloys permitted), mercury salts, picrates or picric acid, gallates or gallic acid, chlorates, (except those of alkali or earth metals), boron, titanium (except larger than 100 mesh), zirconium, gunpowder, and fireworks kits.
basically in california we have to have things that sit on the ground and flash and sparkle...
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07-01-2005, 10:32 AM | #11 (permalink) |
All important elusive independent swing voter...
Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia
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I'm not sure if there's a communist correlation. Probably more of a population density one. You know, for safety. For the record, I have been hit in the head by a bottle rocket in the "communist" state of Massachusetts. Damn commies.
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"The race is not always to the swift, nor battle to the strong, but to the one that endures to the end." "Demand more from yourself, more than anyone else could ever ask!" - My recruiter |
07-01-2005, 04:26 PM | #12 (permalink) |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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Here in Utah....where we are too confusing to be commies , I think it's more of a safety thing than anything else. It can be really dry here and fires could start easily, so basically anything that shoots in the air is prohibited, plus those damn loud firecrackers. Sparklers, snaps, fountains, and such are ok here.
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
07-01-2005, 06:59 PM | #13 (permalink) |
Metal and Rock 4 Life
Location: Phoenix
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Here in PA we are limited to things that "sparkle" and never leave the ground.
Also as a PA resident you cannot purchase ANYTHING illegal by law period. Most firework places here have 2 rooms, one for residents one for everyone else. Thats why I goto Ohio to purchase my stuff and then bring it here. 22 Years straight so far, neighbors dont care, so its all for fun. (even better last year and this year, a paintball field/shop opened up and they do insane amounts of fireworks, makes my stuff look like nothing)
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You bore me.... next. |
07-01-2005, 07:26 PM | #14 (permalink) | |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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I personally love fireworks, so I'm heading out to the reservation tomorrow
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
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07-01-2005, 07:27 PM | #15 (permalink) | |
Addict ed to smack
Location: Seattle
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07-01-2005, 08:15 PM | #16 (permalink) |
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
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Yep, I was pissed off about the ban on small bottle-rockets for a good while, but then I said, "Eh, fuck it!", and got a bigger bottle and rockets.
Thanks for the laugh, billege.
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07-01-2005, 08:15 PM | #17 (permalink) |
Llama
Location: Cali-for-nye-a
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I definitely agree on your theory being "insane"
Yes, California may have a 'pseudo-socialist' reputation but that has nothing to do with the fireworks laws. I would say about 50% of the cities that are totally urbanized with little to no adjacent open land have legalized fireworks. If a city is in or near the hills, they are likely to ban all fireworks. Remember it doesn't rain in California from about June to October so July 4th means it is very dry and there is a lot of tinder dry brush to burn. No matter how careful you are, an errant ember can easily ignite this brush.
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My name is goddfather40 and I approved this message. I got ho's and I got bitches, In C++ I branch with switches -MC Plus+ |
07-02-2005, 01:00 AM | #18 (permalink) |
32 flavors and then some
Location: Out on a wire.
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Fireworks are fun, sure, but also dangerous. 10 years old is much too young to be setting off any kind of explosive. They're legally for sale in my city/county for four days (1st-4th), and Grace (my wife, a Paramedic) is run ragged those four days.
The biggest offenders are firecrackers going off in people's hands. She told me last year that it isn't that people light the firecracker, which then goes off prematurely, though that does happen, but people will light the fuse, then hold the firecracker in their hands, waiting for the furse to run short, then throw it in the air, trying to time it so that it explodes in the air. The other biggie is rockets/roman candles that are set off while someone is holding them. Roman candles can backfire, burning the person holding it quite badly. She, or one of the other crews, gets one or two of those a year. A year before she started with her current crew, a man lost an eye to a backfiring roman candle. Go watch the professional skyworks put on locally. They're much safer, and you get plenty of pretty colored explosions and big booms. I have no problem whatsoever with any fireworks restrictions.
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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert |
07-02-2005, 03:11 PM | #19 (permalink) |
Watcher
Location: Ohio
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No fireworks = communist = me being absurdly silly/sarcastic in the early morning.
You're not actually commie's, unless of course you are actually commies, in which case you are. But, you're not by default re: fireworks, unless you are re: membership in the communist party. Okay? Right. My post was supposed to be on it's face absurd, especially throwing out what I did, and more to the point HOW I did, comments about various states laws. No one's being overly serious on THIS message board... Thank god at least one of you got a laugh.
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I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence: "My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend." Last edited by billege; 07-02-2005 at 03:14 PM.. |
07-02-2005, 03:25 PM | #20 (permalink) | |
Deja Moo
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
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I think, but I'm not certain, that "salutes" are roman candles. I have no idea what a "chaser" is. Have a great time. |
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07-02-2005, 04:07 PM | #21 (permalink) |
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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/me can't wait until one of the neighborhood kids gets his/her arm blown off with one of those things...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
07-02-2005, 04:13 PM | #22 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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07-02-2005, 04:17 PM | #23 (permalink) |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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billege, I found your post funny....besides, commies are so 1980's....they aren't a threat anymore
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
07-02-2005, 04:36 PM | #24 (permalink) | |
Deja Moo
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
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07-02-2005, 04:46 PM | #25 (permalink) | |
©
Location: Colorado
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07-02-2005, 04:55 PM | #27 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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We're talking stuff that sets of car alarms at a distance. Banging stuff, not glowing stuff. |
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07-02-2005, 05:38 PM | #28 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Go A's!!!!
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The Ohio laws are wonderful in the fact you can only legally set off smoke bombs and sparklers for the most part, but as stated above buy whatever the hell you want just get it the hell out of the state in 2 days. Couple good stories I have all involve the same day and the same trip to the fireworks shop.
Being a wild group of punks we proceed to drive down to a pretty good sized warehouse outside Lancaster that sells stuff, well the good part is when we get there they have the big signs set up and the table where you fill out your waiver....and get this...on the sign it TELLS YOU what states the fireworks are legal and to pick one when you fill out your waiver Anywho we proceed to drop about $1,000 on some stuff pack it all in my trunk and head back home, I get pulled over for speeding on route 33 coming back into Columbus doing 80 in a 60 zone luckily I got off and did not get my car searched, although I was legally within my rights as I have 48 hours to get em out.
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07-02-2005, 07:24 PM | #29 (permalink) | |
Cunning Runt
Location: Taking a mulligan
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07-02-2005, 07:26 PM | #30 (permalink) | |
Cunning Runt
Location: Taking a mulligan
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They zip around on the ground while whistling, then blow up. |
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07-02-2005, 07:36 PM | #32 (permalink) |
Young Crumudgeon
Location: Canada
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Wow, comparing fireworks laws with communism is just not funny.
I mean, everyone knows communists are extinct. Terrorists, man, terrorists! If you don't blow shit up in your backyard on the 4th of July, the terrorists have won.
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07-03-2005, 09:03 AM | #33 (permalink) | |
WARNING: FLAMMABLE
Location: Ask Acetylene
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"It better be funny" |
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07-03-2005, 11:34 AM | #34 (permalink) | |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
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07-05-2005, 09:49 PM | #35 (permalink) |
All important elusive independent swing voter...
Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia
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To add a different angle to the discussion:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/05/tan....ap/index.html I wonder: Where does one person's rights begin and another one's ends? Funny things is, for all the communism rheotric, communist China has tons of fireworks available. Just visit there during their New Year.
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"The race is not always to the swift, nor battle to the strong, but to the one that endures to the end." "Demand more from yourself, more than anyone else could ever ask!" - My recruiter |
07-06-2005, 04:45 AM | #36 (permalink) | |
Tone.
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And considering my neighbor is an idiot and launches his mortars at a 45 degree angle toward my house, I don't have a problem either. Ended up having to call the cops on him this year because one shot into a tree near my house and exploded. Not much left of the tree. |
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07-06-2005, 05:21 AM | #37 (permalink) |
big damn hero
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Arkansas, along with quite a few other states it seems, doesn't care too much about my safety pertaining to fireworks. There's an age restriction and that's about it.
When I moved into this neighborhood about 6 months ago, the guys next door kept telling me to wait til the fourth. Apparently every year they had a big block party with BBQ grills going in every yard, the guy down the street brought his trampoline out for the kids, there would be beer for the grown-ups and, most importantly, some killer fireworks for all. This year it didn't happen. The city council made it illegal to shoot off fireworks inside city limits a few weeks ago. Here's what I think.... I'm a grown man. I'm responsible enough to maintain a household, I'm responsible enough to keep a job. Society trusts me enough to grant me a license to use of my speeding, metal, four-wheeled death machine, to carry a gun to hunt and the use of poisons to get rid of 'varmints' around the house. For some reason, however, they don't trust me enough to light a few fireworks. Yes, there are a lot of idiots out there. But if society is going to punish the lot for the actions of a few bad (or just incredibly stupid) folks out there... well, you get the gist, right?
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07-06-2005, 10:19 AM | #38 (permalink) |
Addict
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This is right up there with the mandatory seat-belt laws.
Look, if I want to blow my hand off, or light my house on fire, let me. That's my problem. If I light my neighbor's house on fire, well there are other laws in place that cover that sort of stupidity, aren't there? Let me have some damn fireworks. I'll take responsibility for whatever carnage I unleash if I get careless with them. |
07-06-2005, 10:33 AM | #39 (permalink) | |
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Location: Seattle, WA
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07-06-2005, 12:15 PM | #40 (permalink) | |
Deja Moo
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
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Tags |
fireworks, freedom, gauge, laws |
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