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View Poll Results: How much does it bother you to be called a boy? | |||
Not at all; I take little notice of the difference. | 31 | 28.18% | |
Very little; I might notice, but wouldn't take offense. | 31 | 28.18% | |
Somewhat; I'd notice and be a little annoyed. | 30 | 27.27% | |
A lot; I might correct people who do this. | 18 | 16.36% | |
Voters: 110. You may not vote on this poll |
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05-22-2005, 06:35 PM | #1 (permalink) |
32 flavors and then some
Location: Out on a wire.
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Gentlemen: How much does it bother you to be called a "boy"?
This sprung from a thread I started in Coming Together about what it means to "be a man", and how that's different from being a woman. Part of my presumption is that women are less offended by being referred to as "girls" than are men being referred to as "boys".
So here it is, how much does it bother you to be called a "boy"? In your response, it would be helpful if you listed your age, as I suspect this is at least somewhat age related. Please pick the choice that most closely matches how you feel most of the time. There is an equivilent poll going on in the Ladies Lounge for the women. I thought it would be interesting to get the guys' perspective for comparison, and to see if my thoery is correct.
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05-22-2005, 06:57 PM | #3 (permalink) |
Pissing in the cornflakes
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Being just shy of 35, I can't recall the last time it was used in any context as relating to me. I wouldn't be surprised if my grandmother or mother may still use 'the boys' or the like, but I can't say it would bother me.
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05-22-2005, 07:19 PM | #6 (permalink) |
whosoever
Location: New England
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it's all in the tone. it's affectionate among friends, but downright rude to a stranger. i've seen fights started pretty much by that word alone. not saying it's justified...but that that can be the reaction.
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05-22-2005, 07:47 PM | #7 (permalink) |
big damn hero
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I'm 26, but look much younger and I hardly notice it all, unless said in a condescending way.
I don't get upset, if the insult is implied, I tend to pepper my response with a lot of "old lady(s)" and "old man(s)" just to let them know I noticed and that turn about is fair play.
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No signature. None. Seriously. |
05-23-2005, 12:27 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night
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White and mid-thirties, so it would most likely make me laugh today. In the neighborhood I grew up in though, "boy" was about as disrespectful as you could get, and respect was pretty much all anyone had so be ready to fight...
If the question pertains to questioning manhood, (insert "Be a man" for boy) than yeah - correcting somebody would be in order.
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05-23-2005, 12:31 AM | #13 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: South Kakilaky
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I actually got into a long discussion about this at work the other day with a couple of guys. It was all started by a casual comment where someone was called a boy, and ended up getting seriously offended. Seems like it all depends on the context and whether the person saying it is trying to be disrespectful.
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05-23-2005, 12:38 AM | #14 (permalink) |
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Location: Southern England
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35 here, and not really bothered.
Like several have mentioned, it's in the tone. Being called "sir" can really be offensive in the right way ("Could you leave now please, Sir" for example, said with a sneer). |
05-23-2005, 05:27 AM | #15 (permalink) |
I'm a family man - I run a family business.
Location: Wilson, NC
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here in North Carolina you are called that until your parents die pretty much. doesn't bother me one bit, even if it's in a condescending manner.
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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush. |
05-23-2005, 06:21 AM | #16 (permalink) |
Fledgling Dead Head
Location: Clarkson U.
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Being called boy doesn't bother me all that much, as I'm 19, and the older generations still see me as such. I will admit that when said in a condescending manner, yes I will probably get offended, but outside that, I don't know that I would even notice.
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05-23-2005, 07:12 AM | #17 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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boy is at least more pleasant than, Hey You, Asshole, Fucker...
i don't really care so long as the person stating it isn't being all high and mighty.
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05-23-2005, 07:19 AM | #18 (permalink) |
All Possibility, Made Of Custard
Location: New York, NY
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Look, I'm 28 and I look 20. It comes with the territory and lack of facial-hair.
I'm with Cyn. If people are doing it condescendingly, it's annoying, but I don't think that's ever happened.
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05-23-2005, 08:48 AM | #22 (permalink) |
Insane
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I'm 24
Recently someone asked me my age, she was in her late 30's and said "oh you're still just a boy" - which I took well (thinking ha ha thats right and you, unfortunately look like an old hag) "going out with the boys" is also fine but if it were "listen boy", etc with attitude then its not really offensive but "thems are fightin words" and i'll get ready to put up my dukes
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05-23-2005, 09:27 AM | #23 (permalink) |
I'm still waiting...
Location: West Linn, OR
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one of my ex's used to refer to me as her "boy." not boy-toy, just boy. for example, she'd be on the phone with one of her friends and say "yeah, the boy is over here right now." now that bugged the hell out of me. yes, i may be young, only 24 right now, but i don't like being described as a "boy." i prefer the word "guy." don't know why though. i mean, they're only words. right?
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05-23-2005, 10:18 AM | #24 (permalink) | |
big damn hero
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Quote:
Just joshing (yeah, that's right I said it.) I get called ma'am all the time at the drive-thru. It's fun to see their faces when a big, quasi-bearded man pulls up alone in the car.
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05-23-2005, 10:25 AM | #25 (permalink) |
Cracking the Whip
Location: Sexymama's arms...
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At this point in my life, I would probably laugh at the absurdity of it
Seriously, like most things, it depends on the context. Does the speaker mean it insultingly or not?
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05-23-2005, 01:02 PM | #26 (permalink) | |
Registered User
Location: Right Here
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Quote:
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05-23-2005, 04:34 PM | #29 (permalink) |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Context might make a bit of difference, but not much. If someone older than I am calls me a little boy or something belittling, I know they don't understand that my age has little to do with my abilities and maturity. I am what and who I am. My age has only a little bearing on my abilities. In a normal situation, I would expect the term to come up simply to describe my gender. That's no problem with me.
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05-23-2005, 11:22 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Twitterpated
Location: My own little world (also Canada)
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Depends on the context. If it's directed in a neutral or playful tone (or a sexy one, rawr) then it's all good. Who cares what word they use? If someone purposefully uses it disparagingly as a jab at my maturity or whatever, then I might get a little irked and go pout in a corner or storm off with my favourite toy. But nah, the most people would get is likely a playful response back about how they've emasculated me or whatever. Unless I happen to be in a rare bad mood. Then people die.
I'm 20.
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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato |
05-24-2005, 02:49 AM | #31 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Louisiana
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here in lousiana the term used for boy is concidered an insult unless by friends. granted if you call a africian american a boy here its racial to the extreme and your lookn at getting a beating.
"you know how fast you were going, boy?" and such statements are used by the down home fuzzbusters here and is annoying at times. i think louisiana at times has the worst ettiquette for law enforcement in the country. but for me, call me what you will but ifyour around my age or younger and you utter boy as an insult.. well thou shalt me smite'd upon high by a size 11 shoe.
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05-24-2005, 07:48 AM | #32 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Meechigan
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As long as it isn't condescending, I don't care too much. What makes me mad though is when someone calls me 'guy.' Like, "Hey there, guy." I dunno why it pisses me off so much, it just sounds so condescending to me. But I guess once again, that is a context thing. I don't care about being called "That guy."
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05-24-2005, 07:55 AM | #33 (permalink) |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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I can't recall the last time someone used the word boy in reference to me... it was probably in grade school or maybe in a mock send up of Flavor Flav... Yeah Boooooyyyyy....
Other than that, the term boy is just not applicable to anyone over the age of 20 or so... (just to comment on the women's thread... I wouldn't dream of call a woman "girl"... But then I've never been one to infantalize people... I would never call my wife "baby", "babe", "baby girl"... I just find it too creepy).
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05-24-2005, 10:38 PM | #34 (permalink) |
Follower of Ner'Zhul
Location: Netherlands
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I get called Boy on a daily basis...
like "Hey Boy, what's up?" of at work "Hey Boy, did you do so and so?" Then again, my RL name is Boy... However, being called the Dutch equivalent is pretty annoying sometimes. Especially if I know people are trying to be funny by translating my name... like it's never been done in all my 21 years. Or ask if my sisters name is 'Girl'. That's SO annoying.
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05-25-2005, 12:15 PM | #37 (permalink) |
Riding the Ocean Spray
Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
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just don't call me late for dinner
Since I'm almost 56yo now, the only recent "boy" reference to me lately that I can recall is a 73yo acquaintance who calls me boy sometimes and I get a chuckle out of that context. Understandably so (I'm caucasian so I don't mean directed toward me) the "old tradition" racist "boy" reference would be harder to accept. |
05-26-2005, 09:27 PM | #39 (permalink) | |
The Death Card
Location: EH!?!?
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Quote:
Jeez... tonight I don't even have to type anything, everyone has already said exactly what I was thinking within the first few posts of every thread I go into it makes my job easy.
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Feh. |
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Tags |
bother, boy, called, gentlemen |
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