Gentlemen: How much does it bother you to be called a "boy"?
 

This sprung from a thread I started in Coming Together about what it means to "be a man", and how that's different from being a woman. Part of my presumption is that women are less offended by being referred to as "girls" than are men being referred to as "boys".

So here it is, how much does it bother you to be called a "boy"? In your response, it would be helpful if you listed your age, as I suspect this is at least somewhat age related. Please pick the choice that most closely matches how you feel most of the time.

There is an equivilent poll going on in the Ladies Lounge for the women. I thought it would be interesting to get the guys' perspective for comparison, and to see if my thoery is correct.

It really depends on the context. "Going out with the boys" or " One of the boys" is fine.

"Go run an errand for me Boy" wouldn't go over very well.

Being just shy of 35, I can't recall the last time it was used in any context as relating to me. I wouldn't be surprised if my grandmother or mother may still use 'the boys' or the like, but I can't say it would bother me.

Ditto to StanT. If someone called me a boy in a condescending manner, I'd be pissed.

Call me whatever the hell you want, but please, just not Kumar.

it's all in the tone. it's affectionate among friends, but downright rude to a stranger. i've seen fights started pretty much by that word alone. not saying it's justified...but that that can be the reaction.

I'm 26, but look much younger and I hardly notice it all, unless said in a condescending way.

I don't get upset, if the insult is implied, I tend to pepper my response with a lot of "old lady(s)" and "old man(s)" just to let them know I noticed and that turn about is fair play.

Yep, it all depends on the context and demeanor in which it is given.

Like others have said it really depends on context. Though I'd tend to agree that boy versus man there is perceived a much bigger difference than using girl versus woman.

In the South, you can be called so-and-so's boy until so-and-so is dead.

But in general, it's the same as a lot of other words. "You f***ker" and "he's a good old "f***ker" are poles apart.

33 here.

I'm fine with it as long as you don't call me ma'am.

*hates my phone voice*

White and mid-thirties, so it would most likely make me laugh today. In the neighborhood I grew up in though, "boy" was about as disrespectful as you could get, and respect was pretty much all anyone had so be ready to fight...

If the question pertains to questioning manhood, (insert "Be a man" for boy) than yeah - correcting somebody would be in order.

I actually got into a long discussion about this at work the other day with a couple of guys. It was all started by a casual comment where someone was called a boy, and ended up getting seriously offended. Seems like it all depends on the context and whether the person saying it is trying to be disrespectful.

35 here, and not really bothered.

Like several have mentioned, it's in the tone. Being called "sir" can really be offensive in the right way ("Could you leave now please, Sir" for example, said with a sneer).

:)

here in North Carolina you are called that until your parents die pretty much. doesn't bother me one bit, even if it's in a condescending manner.

Being called boy doesn't bother me all that much, as I'm 19, and the older generations still see me as such. I will admit that when said in a condescending manner, yes I will probably get offended, but outside that, I don't know that I would even notice.

boy is at least more pleasant than, Hey You, Asshole, Fucker...

i don't really care so long as the person stating it isn't being all high and mighty.

Look, I'm 28 and I look 20. It comes with the territory and lack of facial-hair. :)

I'm with Cyn. If people are doing it condescendingly, it's annoying, but I don't think that's ever happened.

Where I live, all males are "boys" in every context. It's cultural.

As long as it's not condesending I don't mind. I was the 23 year old boy this weekend running through a sidewalk fountain outside a movie theater, and then walking into a bar. I'm too young at heart still to care if I'm called "boy".

/is relieved at Quadro's response since she regularly calls him "her boy". :D

I'm 24

Recently someone asked me my age, she was in her late 30's and said "oh you're still just a boy" - which I took well (thinking ha ha thats right and you, unfortunately look like an old hag)

"going out with the boys" is also fine

but if it were "listen boy", etc with attitude then its not really offensive but "thems are fightin words" and i'll get ready to put up my dukes

one of my ex's used to refer to me as her "boy." not boy-toy, just boy. for example, she'd be on the phone with one of her friends and say "yeah, the boy is over here right now." now that bugged the hell out of me. yes, i may be young, only 24 right now, but i don't like being described as a "boy." i prefer the word "guy." don't know why though. i mean, they're only words. right?

Excuse me, Miss? I think you have the wrong thread.




:lol: Just joshing (yeah, that's right I said it.) I get called ma'am all the time at the drive-thru. It's fun to see their faces when a big, quasi-bearded man pulls up alone in the car.

At this point in my life, I would probably laugh at the absurdity of it :)

Seriously, like most things, it depends on the context.

Does the speaker mean it insultingly or not?

Same here. I would also add that it depended on who was saying it. If the person was someone I knew well and liked then anything they said with the intent to insult me would hurt. But a stranger can call me anything they want, why should I care what they think?

29 - I'll notice but not care. Now when kids these days call me sir... well, that makes me pause.

As long as I know you're talking to me, I really don't care what salutation you use.

Context might make a bit of difference, but not much. If someone older than I am calls me a little boy or something belittling, I know they don't understand that my age has little to do with my abilities and maturity. I am what and who I am. My age has only a little bearing on my abilities. In a normal situation, I would expect the term to come up simply to describe my gender. That's no problem with me.

Depends on the context. If it's directed in a neutral or playful tone (or a sexy one, rawr) then it's all good. Who cares what word they use? If someone purposefully uses it disparagingly as a jab at my maturity or whatever, then I might get a little irked and go pout in a corner or storm off with my favourite toy. But nah, the most people would get is likely a playful response back about how they've emasculated me or whatever. Unless I happen to be in a rare bad mood. Then people die.

I'm 20.

here in lousiana the term used for boy is concidered an insult unless by friends. granted if you call a africian american a boy here its racial to the extreme and your lookn at getting a beating.

"you know how fast you were going, boy?" and such statements are used by the down home fuzzbusters here and is annoying at times. i think louisiana at times has the worst ettiquette for law enforcement in the country.

but for me, call me what you will but ifyour around my age or younger and you utter boy as an insult.. well thou shalt me smite'd upon high by a size 11 shoe.

As long as it isn't condescending, I don't care too much. What makes me mad though is when someone calls me 'guy.' Like, "Hey there, guy." I dunno why it pisses me off so much, it just sounds so condescending to me. But I guess once again, that is a context thing. I don't care about being called "That guy."

I can't recall the last time someone used the word boy in reference to me... it was probably in grade school or maybe in a mock send up of Flavor Flav... Yeah Boooooyyyyy....

Other than that, the term boy is just not applicable to anyone over the age of 20 or so...

(just to comment on the women's thread... I wouldn't dream of call a woman "girl"... But then I've never been one to infantalize people... I would never call my wife "baby", "babe", "baby girl"... I just find it too creepy).

I get called Boy on a daily basis...
like "Hey Boy, what's up?"
of at work "Hey Boy, did you do so and so?"

Then again, my RL name is Boy... :)

However, being called the Dutch equivalent is pretty annoying sometimes. Especially if I know people are trying to be funny by translating my name... like it's never been done in all my 21 years. Or ask if my sisters name is 'Girl'. That's SO annoying.

depends who it is directed at,personaly it dosent bother me.but i know some people that do take offence to being called boy.

If someone were to address me as Boy, that would tick me off. Probably more so than Hey You. But if someone referred to me as a boy, just talking about my gender, I wouldn't care.

just don't call me late for dinner ;)

Since I'm almost 56yo now, the only recent "boy" reference to me lately that I can recall is a 73yo acquaintance who calls me boy sometimes and I get a chuckle out of that context.

Understandably so (I'm caucasian so I don't mean directed toward me) the "old tradition" racist "boy" reference would be harder to accept.

It completely depends on the situation. I might say or have something like "let's go boys." said and think nothing of it when in a group. But one on one it bothers me.

Thread over.

Jeez... tonight I don't even have to type anything, everyone has already said exactly what I was thinking within the first few posts of every thread I go into

it makes my job easy.

What can I say?
I'd just have to cut you.

But seriously, I don't think it would bother me at all. It's all about the tone, not the language.