dignity

I know I'm not the only person who feels this way, but I'm curious to how other people in this same situation have dealt with it..

I feel like something is missing in my life....I'm a happy guy, I go to school, have great friends. In no way would I say I'm boring or have a boring life.

Sometimes doing the same thing everyday gets you burnt out, and things may get old after a while...I thought about picking up a new hobby or something along those lines..but that never really worked..

I don't know what's missing, but its something that's a pretty big deal..almost like I'm forgetting to do something each day, or laying in bed at night having that strong feeling like I either want to accomplish more, or something isn't right...

To people who have felt this way...what are some ways you went about trying to figure out what's not there? Its kinda hard looking for something, when you don't know what's missing....

Thanks in advance

Supple Cow

There's a book called Mindfulness in Plain English (by Venerable Henepola Gunaratana) that you should read.
Meditation sure helps, even if only to frustrate you in all the right ways.

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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

Seething

Not to get overly angsty, and to make a long story short, I recently met a girl, fell in love with her, found out that she wanted to remain friends (as friendship lasts longer than relationships, according to her), and now when we're out with our usual trio, she ignores me and flirts with my other friend while I'm standing not 3 feet away. But for a while there, when I thought she really cared for me, I felt whole.

Just needed to get that off my chest...but I will tie it in with my point.

Maybe we're all just looking for validation. What you're missing is someone(or something) that makes you feel like you're doing things for a purpose. Something that screams to you, "Hey, I am worth a damn!" When you get in to the tedium and repetitive nature that is school/work, you really need something to look forward to. You need some sort of drive to get through it all. What you may be missing is the "Why?" to your "What am I missing?"

I hope this makes sense...it's 4am and I've been drinking...

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Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

flat5

Beats me, but religion, philosophy, serving others, having a kid has worked for others.

Paint? Music? etc.

Best of luck, really!

Cartuni

Maybe you need some adventure in your life – something totally out of the ordinary, like taking a mule ride down the Grand Canyon (this will give you religion in a hurry, believe me). Or plan a wilderness camping trip with your friends. Summer’s coming – are you near the water? Sailboat owners often look for crew on their racing or cruising boats, and you don’t necessarily have to have any sailing experience, just a good attitude.

Even taking off for a week and just driving somewhere you’ve always wanted to see – alone on the road – can get you out of that burnt-out feeling.

These aren’t “deep, fulfilling” things, but I’ve always found that adventure leads to a new outlook, a different way of seeing myself and others, and good stories to tell! And a change in environment, even temporary, often leads to a changed outlook in ways you can’t predict.

dignity

Yea, i live by water, im real close to the beach. Ive thought about the just doing something out the ordinary for a few days, or a week, and it would just get my mind off of the usual day...maybe ill plan that long car drive to somewhere ive always wanted to go.

I have also had that "whole" feeling, or that sense everything was complete when i was with someone, but i also feel this isnt really it either..

maybe some time off from the daily routine would make me feel better..thanks for the suggestions everyone

BigBen

Whenever I feel like that, I volunteer at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, crisis help-line or something like that.

You wouldn't believe how seeing what others have to go through will do to make you feel lucky and blessed.

Some of these people have been kicked down, dragged through and slapped harder by that cruel bitch FATE worse than I could imagine. I feel lucky to compare myself to those folks, AND I get to help them with their problems, even if that is as small as saying, "Man, that fucking sucks..."

Get out and get involved.

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Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

tecoyah

I had this experience some time ago....and decided to study the meaning of life......still looking. But the quest has led to a mind altering series of revelations. There is much to be said for meditation when we are lost, and need to see things more clearly. Just remain open to those things that appear before you....and open your eyes to them. When a situation you would normally ignore appears....pursue it....see what happens. Likely, you will be quite happy with the results.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

dignity

I will def. keep all these suggestions in mind..

I really feel that its something missing, I'm happy now, but something I'm lacking that is truly going to make me feel the way I'd like..

I remember when I had days where I would fall asleep with a smile on my face, and wake up feeling just as good as when I went to bed..and during that day not really even having a care in the world...this was a time where I really felt on top of the world...

I'd like to be in that mood again...I feel that I just need to find that one thing, one person, one interest etc. that is going to make me happy.

I think this is why I go to bed at night knowing I did the same thing the day before and so on...

Thanks again everyone

flstf

This will probably sound silly but when things start seeming too mundane and boring I try to step outside of my usual thinking and contemplate the big picture for a little while. Things like, here we are traveling through space on this little planet, orbiting around this little star, located in the corner of one of millions of galaxies. Something about the mystery of it all makes my somewhat boring life seem more interesting.

munchen

i think that no matter how much you have there can always be something missing. No matter how little you have you can always have enough. Its just a state of mind. I think that instead of looking at the donut you may be looking at the hole. You may need to relax and live your life, let the the hole in your life fill itself instead of trying to jam something in that doesn't fit.

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"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun" -Matt Groening

Cartuni

Dignity, have you ever read Wordsworth's Intimations of Immortality? Here is a link (sorry, I don't know how to make it a clickable one yet): http://www.bartleby.com/101/536.html

Wordsworth gives his explanation of that "missing feeling" in such a beautiful way. I reread this poem often, and the older I get, the more I seem to recognize what he's trying to say. It's sad, yet oddly comforting to me.

Cartuni

Hey, thanks Tilted - you made it clickable for me <G>

Daniel_

A very good book to start with on this whole realm is Allan De Botto's "Consolations of Philosophy".

It was written to tie in with a TV series on the BBC a couple of years back. It takes a group of modern anxeities - not having enough money, death, love, etc, and uses different philosophers to talk about why you needn't be scared, and how to draw solace and stenght.

It's not a self help book, but it helped me beat my depression when my marriage ended.

greytone

There are a number of ways to approach this feeling you are having. You could just ignore it, but I would not recomend that. There could be any number of things that could be missing from your life. It seems obvious that some introspection should come first, but that is easier said than accomplished.

I think that anyone who feels this way is certainly the type of person who needs a sense of purpose in their lives. Do you have goals that you are actively working on. We all need both long term and short term goals. The short term goals give a sense of accomplishment and let us know that we are making progress to our longer term goals. We need a variety of professional, personal, spiritual, and educational goals.

Looking at this from another angle, is this a need to feel like you are having a positive influence on the world? Maybe a little volunteer work might go a long way to making you feel worthwhile.

Then again, maybe you just need to get laid.

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I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing.
Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors"

typette

There was someone else who described what you're talking about. A few quotes:
"I gave myself everything my eyes wanted. There wasn't any pleasure I refused to give myself. I took delight in everything I did. And that was what I got for all my work. But then I looked over everything my hands had done. I saw what I had worked so hard to get. And nothing had any meaning. It was like chasing wind."

"So I hated life. That's because the work that is done on this earth made me sad. None of it has any meaning. It's like chasing the wind. I hated everything I had worked for. I'll have to leave all of it to someone who lives after me."

This was from a man who had riches, women, wisdom, achievements, and yet he realized something was missing too, and some of you may have recognized this as being from Solomon's book of Ecclesiastes. His conclusion: we will die and everything we do on earth will be pointless, but God, and other people, are what's important because that's what will outlast our time on earth.

I realize this isn't a popular view in the world today but it's sure the truth.
About 10 years ago I had everything going for me but I was thinking about suicide because I realized the pointlessness, that nothing I had accomplished could fill the void, none of it mattered. Ecclesiastes came to mean a lot to me, because it reminded me that some things will outlast our life on this earth.

Something to think about...I hope I didn't ramble too long!

Grasshopper Green

I was in a "slump" a few years ago and I got a wild hair and very spontaneously planned a trip to England...as in, I decided abruptly to do it and an hour later my plane ticket was purchased and I was looking into hotels. I went alone, and experienced a strange place by myself for a week. It's one of the best things I have ever done, and over 2 years later that trip still lends it's insights into my life.

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

jhkayakr

I packed my backpack and took off for a year-long trip around the world. Getting in a slump is normal, so is getting out of it. I agree with the above, you need some out of ordinary experiences.

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........gotta need for speed....

ophelia783

One of the things that defines us as humans is our limited resources vs. our unlimited wants/desires.

Even if we get everything we want, we'll never be fully happy, as we'll just find something new that "when I have that, I'll be happy."

Depressing, isn't it?

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~*~* He with a sharp tongue slits his own throat *~*~