Morning Wood Killer! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Astrocloud · 05-07-2005, 01:54 PM

Okay so I was waking up last week and like I normally do I woke up long enough to turn on the news -to help myself wake up.

I had some morning wood which I was laying on and kind of enjoying when IT came on the television. -A description of some of the activities Michael Jackson supposedly did. -Killed my wood in no time. *Shudder* the thought of some pedophile popstar taking a shower with a little boy is not appropriate for waking up!

But this is not the first time this has happened. I used to set my clock radio to Howard Stern and it's cool when some porn chick is on -but one morning he wouldn't stop talking about the operations that transexuals go through. -Not only did it kill my morning wood but it left me with a feeling that I wanted to puke.

Anybody else have wood killers? Describe your own Killers:

Scorps · 05-07-2005, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astrocloud

Okay so I was waking up last week and like I normally do I woke up long enough to turn on the news -to help myself wake up.

I had some morning wood which I was laying on and kind of enjoying when IT came on the television. -A description of some of the activities Michael Jackson supposedly did. -Killed my wood in no time. *Shudder* the thought of some pedophile popstar taking a shower with a little boy is not appropriate for waking up!

But this is not the first time this has happened. I used to set my clock radio to Howard Stern and it's cool when some porn chick is on -but one morning he wouldn't stop talking about the operations that transexuals go through. -Not only did it kill my morning wood but it left me with a feeling that I wanted to puke.

Anybody else have wood killers? Describe your own Killers:

Thank god I work the night shift.....I havn't had a morning wood killer yet

iamnormal · 05-07-2005, 07:23 PM

antidepressants takes care of all that is wood

Suave · 05-08-2005, 12:28 AM

I was just in my room, and I was remembering a hot dream I had this morning just as I was waking up, and was gaining an erection... when I heard my parents going at it in the room next to me. There is nothing that has ever killed a hard-on faster than that experience for me. DAMN THESE PAPER THIN WALLS.

Fly · 05-08-2005, 08:08 AM

a piss............first thing in the morn that'll kill my wood..........

that and rollin' over too damn fast.

Astrocloud · 05-08-2005, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flyman

a

that and rollin' over too damn fast.

Yeah falling out of bed always kills the mood.

streak_56 · 05-08-2005, 09:48 AM

Early Christmas morning, when I'm laying in bed and people wake me up.... I know its Christmas but I just want to enjoy my morning wood.

maleficent · 05-08-2005, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suave

when I heard my parents going at it in the room next to me. .

Parents are people too

(and this gave me a needed giggle this morning - thanks... sorry your wood got killed for my amusement...)

TexanAvenger · 05-08-2005, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astrocloud

Okay so I was waking up last week and like I normally do I woke up long enough to turn on the news -to help myself wake up.

I had some morning wood which I was laying on and kind of enjoying when IT came on the television.

Funny you should say that... woke up one morning on the couch with the tv having been left on all night, enjoying the morning wood, and then It (the movie) came on. That didn't last long.

stevie667 · 05-08-2005, 10:03 AM

I remember one time upon waking I was remembering a particulary fine lady in a dream of mine, everything was going all dandy until I looked over and saw a large (this thing was the size of a house) spider sitting on my pillow.

Me being afraid of spiders, I immediatly lept in the other direction.

This would be ok, one would think, the only problem is that my bed is against a wall. This was compounded by the fact I was also right up against the wall. Needless to say, launching myself in a motion similar to a fish thats floundering on the ground head first into the afore mentioned wall isn't good for ones consiousness levels. It tends to remove them.

Fortunatly, I was out long enough for the spider to sack off somewhere else, probably because he was laughing so hard at this big man-fish thing leaping all over the place. Unfortunatly, it really really hurt.

cowudders14 · 05-08-2005, 12:24 PM

^ROFLMAO!

For me, looking at the alarm clock and realising that I'm late, again tends to do the job...
The "Oh bugger" followed by the rapid movement out of bed doesn't really allow time for enjoying such things!

Suave · 05-08-2005, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Parents are people too

(and this gave me a needed giggle this morning - thanks... sorry your wood got killed for my amusement...)

I wish they were robots. :P But you're welcome. I'm used to having girls amused by my dead wood.

SmileyG3 · 05-10-2005, 02:08 PM

Dogs licking your fingertips or toes hanging over the bed does not mesh well with morn wood

Redlemon · 05-10-2005, 05:35 PM

This would be a good time to bring back the Morning Wood FYI by Halx thread.

MSD · 05-10-2005, 06:15 PM

My mom usually knocks on my door and says, "Time to get up" in the morning. That kills it for me.

jbw97361 · 05-10-2005, 06:48 PM

waking up next to Rosie O'donnel kills the urge in a hury. Just put a poster of her in the flintstones movie on your ceiling.

05-07-2005, 01:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Morning Wood Killer! Okay so I was waking up last week and like I normally do I woke up long enough to turn on the news -to help myself wake up. I had some morning wood which I was laying on and kind of enjoying when IT came on the television. -A description of some of the activities Michael Jackson supposedly did. -Killed my wood in no time. Shudder the thought of some pedophile popstar taking a shower with a little boy is not appropriate for waking up! But this is not the first time this has happened. I used to set my clock radio to Howard Stern and it's cool when some porn chick is on -but one morning he wouldn't stop talking about the operations that transexuals go through. -Not only did it kill my morning wood but it left me with a feeling that I wanted to puke. Anybody else have wood killers? Describe your own Killers:

05-08-2005, 12:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	I was just in my room, and I was remembering a hot dream I had this morning just as I was waking up, and was gaining an erection... when I heard my parents going at it in the room next to me. There is nothing that has ever killed a hard-on faster than that experience for me. DAMN THESE PAPER THIN WALLS. __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

05-08-2005, 08:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	a piss............first thing in the morn that'll kill my wood.......... that and rollin' over too damn fast. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

05-08-2005, 10:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	I remember one time upon waking I was remembering a particulary fine lady in a dream of mine, everything was going all dandy until I looked over and saw a large (this thing was the size of a house) spider sitting on my pillow. Me being afraid of spiders, I immediatly lept in the other direction. This would be ok, one would think, the only problem is that my bed is against a wall. This was compounded by the fact I was also right up against the wall. Needless to say, launching myself in a motion similar to a fish thats floundering on the ground head first into the afore mentioned wall isn't good for ones consiousness levels. It tends to remove them. Fortunatly, I was out long enough for the spider to sack off somewhere else, probably because he was laughing so hard at this big man-fish thing leaping all over the place. Unfortunatly, it really really hurt. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

05-08-2005, 12:24 PM	#11 (permalink)
cowudders14 Bringer of good Moos... Location: Midlands, UK	^ROFLMAO! For me, looking at the alarm clock and realising that I'm late, again tends to do the job... The "Oh bugger" followed by the rapid movement out of bed doesn't really allow time for enjoying such things! __________________ Moo! I'm mooey!

05-07-2005, 07:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
iamnormal Addict Location: In the id	antidepressants takes care of all that is wood

05-08-2005, 09:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	Early Christmas morning, when I'm laying in bed and people wake me up.... I know its Christmas but I just want to enjoy my morning wood.

05-10-2005, 02:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
SmileyG3 Tilted Location: San Antonio TX	Dogs licking your fingertips or toes hanging over the bed does not mesh well with morn wood

05-10-2005, 05:35 PM	#14 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	This would be a good time to bring back the Morning Wood FYI by Halx thread. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

05-10-2005, 06:15 PM	#15 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	My mom usually knocks on my door and says, "Time to get up" in the morning. That kills it for me.

05-10-2005, 06:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
jbw97361 Tilted	waking up next to Rosie O'donnel kills the urge in a hury. Just put a poster of her in the flintstones movie on your ceiling. __________________ JBW