Breast Feeding in Public - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

diddagirl · 06-04-2005, 10:18 AM

I think breast feeding is kinda ruined for me. One of my best friends growing up's little sister was breastfed until she was five. The first time I saw it happening was when she was about two and a half (which I personally think is too old). The toddler hopped on her moms knee and told her that she wanted her "nummies" now. So in disbelief I asked my friend when we left the room "Does your mom still breastfeed Kelsi"? And her reply, "yeah of course...I was breastfed until I was 4, and she wants to feed Kelsi until she is at least 5".
I am cool with breastfeeding, but my god, why would you breastfeed your kid that long? I understand the health benefits, but I just cant believe that it is in any way appropriate for a five year old whether in public or at home to be doing that.
I now have no intention of breast feeding my future kids, because of how this disturbed me. It actually creeps me out now adays to see a women feeding in public.

Psycho Dad · 06-04-2005, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by powerclown

Ladies, a little class - be discreet, and feed your babies till they're full and satisfied. In private.

I call bullshit. I see people (not just women) showing less class than a woman feeding a child every day. I see it on TV, at the mall, in the park and on the street everywhere I go. People are only unconfortable with breast feeding because of societal restrictions yet society has become accepting of every titty slip from Tara Reid or Paris Hilton being e-mailed across the globe as soon as it happens. I'd rather live in a world where women are not looked down upon due to feeding their babies than one where Hilton and her ilk are admired.

1010011010 · 06-04-2005, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by f6twister

Does anyone know if their state legally allows breastfeeding in public?

I only know this because the hospital gave my wife a little card that has this on it so she can whip it out if anyone is having uncomfortable sexual feedling about watching someone else eat.

Virginia HB1188. Enacted in 1994
"No person shall be deemed to be in violation of indecent exposure for breastfeeding a child in any public place or any place where others are present."

Also, the comparison of a small child's need for food to some drunk's need to urinate on a park bench is assinine.

Disk_Pusher · 06-04-2005, 09:43 PM

In a few months, I'll be breatfeeding, and to be perfectly honest, when the baby's hungry, he's going to get fed. Because I'm shy, I'm going to be modest about it, but he's going to get fed in public, I'm sure.

In regards to what age breastfeeding is apropriate, I lived with a mormon family in Arizona for 2 years, and in which time I met a family relative of theirs who was still breatfeeding her child at 2 years. I found this a little strange, however, it is their family and she can do what she sees fit. The husband aproved. Apparently, this was how they had been raised. According to my mother, it was after I bit her that I was not allowed to breastfeed anymore, at about 7 months. My SO wants me to breastfeed until our son is 1 years old, and my mother is shocked - in her eyes, this is WAY to old.

In all honesty, I believe I'm going to use her rule - I'll breastfeed unti one year, OR until I'm bit. :-D

~Liz

Lebell · 06-04-2005, 09:46 PM

Sexymama puts a towel or baby blanket over herself when breastfeeding in deference to anyone who doesn't want to watch.

I personally think that anyone who has a problem with it beyond this accommadation has exactly that, a problem.

Ustwo · 06-04-2005, 10:13 PM

Even though my wife currently breast feeds, there is something about people doing it in public that bugs me and I have absolutely no idea why.

I really can't explain it, hell if you want to beast feed in public be my guest, but it still makes me uneasy for whatever reason.

My wife won't breast feed in public because she is oddly shy. While breast feeding is something that should be done in private (to her thinking) she will go full monty on a nude beach.

Its all about the context for her.

RonRyan85 · 06-04-2005, 10:56 PM

My feeling about this is that the woman can do the right thing by taking the baby
into the women's rest room. Don't they have sofas and or chairs in just about all
restaurants? If she thinks the table full of her friends will not mind,proceed and
have at it at the table. I would imagine most adults are not opposed to seeing a
nice looking breast and besides....a napkin could be draped over the lunch area
with out hurting a hungry baby ....right?

Sage · 06-05-2005, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilda

That said, breast feeding should be treated like any other public behavior. There are polite and impolite ways to eat in a restaurant. We remove hats and close umbrellas upon entering. We use silverware instead of our hands. We wipe our faces with a napkin, eat with our mouths closed, cover our mouths to burp. Breast feeding should be no different; it should be done discretely when in the presence of others.

Gilda, you're a freakin' Eloquent woman! I wholeheartedly agree that any activity in public should follow rules of common courtesy- you shouldn't let out massive farts in the middle of a crowded mall, you shouldn't burp like a volcanic eruption at the dinner table, and you shouldn't pick out your wedgie in view of anyone. I think breastfeeding is great- it's natural, it's healthy, and it's very benificial to mother and child. However, if you're doing it in public, there's some common courtsey to observe. Some people have hang-ups about breasts (like the SIL who made the "sucking on a sexual object" comment), just like some people have hang-ups about burping in public. So, throw a blanket over you, and burp into a napkin. I think that if more women breastfed in public in a polite manner, then it would be another small step towards the silly USA getting rid of the stigma that surrounds sex.

Man, I can't wait to move to another country....

Hash_Browns · 06-05-2005, 02:18 PM

Ok, I'm no professional breastfeeder here, I've breastfed once in public, at the table of which I was eating, with my Mom right by my side telling me to quite caring what other people think, the baby is hungry. But there are a few things I would like to point out here...

#1 as it has been said, I'm not going to eat my dinner in a bathroom stall, and no not every bathroom has a sofa let alone are they clean, smell pretty just cuz it's for 'woman' or any of that, it's a place of elimination and the thought is just gross.

#2 Some woman feel to use a towel/blanket to breastfeed is like throwing a big sign out there...HEY LOOK BABY IS SUCKING ON MY BREASTS!..now give me your stares and quizzical looks and even angry faces. Some would much rather do it discreetly and with as little notice as possible, and whether you believe it or not, it does and can happen without everyone knowing.

#3 I don't care what anyones opinion is, I DO NOT at any point in breastfeeding my kids feel my breasts are a sexual object. PERIOD. The second I associate my kids sucking on my breasts as sexual, is a very bad day. So I have to lay that to rest right now. I also don't feel anyone has the right to look at me while breastfeeding and think about sex, as quite frankly that's kinda gross. This is all I can type about this for now...

#4 Yes a woman can express her milk and bottle it, and use it later to feed, BUT that same woman is going to have her milk come in on a schedule, and her babies crying will make that happen even faster. This is a very uncomfortable experience for me. I would much rather let the baby eat and save myself from having to leak breastmilk all over my cloths and be uncomfortable so a few select people with a problem can feel better about it.

#5 I am pregnant with my third child and have been empowering myself to believe I can breastfeed longer with this one then the other two and get over the whole 'society' thing. That I can live my life and let my other kids still be able to go out and have fun in 'public' places like they are used to, and if it means taking the baby and feeding in public, then so be it. Then I see this thread and it really really makes me mad. So what...with two other kids in tow I'm supposed to curl us all up nice and tight in a smelly toilet or choose to stay home all the timein order to 'hide' something that is perfectly natural?? I don't think so...

There are ways to nurse while no one even knows, they make cloths for this kind of thing, baby slings that allow you to nurse while walking and so on. These things I would use, but I don't feel I have to wear a sign all the time like using a towel or any other shield if I'm not showing anything anyways...

I do agree that there are some extremest's out there who will just whip it out without 'consideration' but those kind of people are not me, and therefore I have nothing to say about it.

xepherys · 06-07-2005, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakran

Aside from the fact that it'd probably be better to go into a stall anyway (you can sit down and have a lap to help you hold the baby up - - - dropping infants is bad

) just going into the public restroom was making an effort - that's something a lot of people don't do. I was in a family restaurant a few months ago and watched a woman breastfeed, then change, her kid while sitting at her table. Even ignoring the hygene issues, her actions showed that socially, she has a long way to go.

Well, the breastfeeding I think is perfectly fine... if I can eat at a table, why can't the baby? The changing in not... if I can't pee at the table, why can the baby (well... you get my point I hope).

Telluride · 06-07-2005, 08:45 PM

I don't really care if women breastfeed in public, but I think someone with good manners would not be flamboyant about it. When on private property (like a store or restaurant), the owner of the property has a right to require that the feeding be discreet or even not allowed at all, if that is how he or she feels about it.

guthmund · 06-08-2005, 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aKula

What about the argument that urinating in the streets is unhygenic and breastfeeding is not?

As far as I know, urine is completely sterile. It smells, but isn't 'unhygenic' in the least.

I don't care if women breast feed in public. For me it kind of falls into that "if you don't want people staring, don't do it" category.

If you don't want people staring at your ass crack, wear pants that fit. If you don't want people looking at your breasts, wear a shirt that they don't hang out of. If you want to breast feed in public, go right ahead, but don't get all bent out of shape when people start staring. Just remember, you're the one who whipped it out.

To add a bit...It also depends on the situation. I mean, you shouldn't expect the same response from a group of teenage boys in the mall and the old folks in the park when you breast feed. People are going to look, but after that initial thought of "Mmmm...boobie," which forces its way to the forefront, the vast majority of men and women are going to be about business as usual.

tres · 06-08-2005, 08:54 AM

Found this in the New York Times today....

Quote:

'Lactivists' Taking Their Cause, and Their Babies, to the Streets
By AMY HARMON
LINK
The calls for a "nurse-in" began on the Internet mere moments after Barbara Walters uttered a negative remark about public breast-feeding on her ABC talk show, "The View."

The protest, inspired by similar events organized by a growing group of unlikely activists nationwide in the last year, brought about 200 women to ABC's headquarters yesterday. They stood nursing their babies in the unmistakably public venue of Columbus Avenue and West 67th Street. They held signs reading, "Shame on View," and "Babies are born to be breastfed." Ms. Walters, who remarked a few weeks ago on the show that the sight of a woman breast-feeding on an airplane next to her had made her uncomfortable, said through a spokesman that "it was a particular circumstance and we are surprised that it warrants a protest."

But the rally at ABC is only the most visible example of a recent wave of "lactivism." Prodded by mothers who say they are tired of being asked to adjourn to the bathroom while nursing in a public space, six states have recently passed laws giving a woman the right to breast-feed wherever she "is otherwise authorized to be."

An Ohio bill saying a woman is "entitled to breast-feed her baby in any place of public accommodation" passed last month over the objection of one representative who wanted to exempt businesses from liability for accidents caused by "spillage."

"I really don't know any women who 'spill,' " said Lisa Wilson, the mother of a 4-month-old in Fairview Park, Ohio, who helped organize a nurse-in at a local deli to support the bill.

Representative Carolyn B. Maloney, Democrat of New York, held a nurse-in on the Capitol's Cannon Terrace last month as she reintroduced federal legislation to amend the Civil Rights Act to protect women from employment discrimination for using a breast pump or feeding their babies during breaks.

Nursing mothers are pressuring businesses, too. Burger King has declared that mothers are welcome to nurse. Starbucks - the target of a letter-writing campaign that asked "What's more natural than coffee and milk?" - has, too.

The moves come as the number of American mothers who choose to breast-feed has climbed to about 70 percent in 2003, the last year for which information was available, from about 50 percent in 1990. Many otherwise apolitical women say they found themselves unexpectedly transformed into lactivists after fielding a nasty comment or being asked to stop nursing in public.

"We're all told that breast-feeding is the best, healthiest thing you can do for your child," said Lorig Charkoudian, 32, who started the Web site www.nurseatstarbucks.com after being asked to use the bathroom to nurse at her local Starbucks. "And then we're made to feel ashamed to do it without being locked in our homes."

But Ms. Walters is not the only one who might prefer not to be confronted with breast-feeding at close quarters. Legislators, business owners and family members are debating how to reconcile the health benefits of nursing with the prevailing cultural squeamishness toward nursing in public.

In interviews and Internet discussions, hundreds of women recount being asked to stop nursing in public spots, including the Children's Museum in Huntsville, Ala.; a knitting store in the East Village; a Radisson Hotel lobby in Virginia; a public bus in Los Angeles; and a city commission meeting in Miami Beach.

"It's nothing against breast-feeding, it's about exposing yourself for people who don't want to see it," said Scotty Stroup, the owner of a restaurant in Round Rock, Tex., where a nursing mother was refused service last fall.

But the new generation of lactivists compare discomfort with seeing breast-feeding in public to discomfort with seeing interracial couples or gays holding hands.

"It's like any other prejudice. They have to get used to it," said Rebecca Odes, co-founder of "The New Mom" blog, who attended the ABC protest. "People don't want to see it because they feel uncomfortable with it, and they feel uncomfortable with it because they don't see it."

Whether to breast-feed in public, many nursing mothers say, is not simply a matter of being respectful of another person's sensibilities. They cite research by the Food and Drug Administration showing that the degree of embarrassment a mother feels about breast-feeding plays a bigger role in determining whether she is likely to do so than household income, length of maternity leave or employment status.

The American Academy of Pediatrics urges women to feed their babies only breast milk for the first six months, and continue breast-feeding for at least an additional six months. If its recommendations were followed, the group estimates that Americans would save $3.6 billion in annual health care costs because breast-fed babies tend to require less medical care. But while more women are breast-feeding for the first few weeks, fewer than one-third are still nursing after six months. Some doctors attribute the decline to self-consciousness and the difficulties of finding spaces where nursing seems acceptable.

"To many mothers, breast-feeding runs up against sexual attitudes toward the breast," said Dr. Lawrence Gartner, who leads the academy's research on breast-feeding. "That reduces the prevalence of breast-feeding, which is a bad situation because duration of breast-feeding is an important factor in children's health."

Even mothers who are committed to nursing say they are shaken when confronted with the hostility or consternation of strangers observing them.

"People make you feel like you're doing something dirty, almost," said Rene Harrell, 26, of Chantilly, Va., who said she was recently asked to leave a Delta airport lounge in Atlanta as she nursed her 8-month-old son, Elijah.

Once on the plane awaiting takeoff, she said, a man across the aisle complained loudly about her into his cellphone as she continued to nurse.

The scene, said Ms. Harrell, reminded her of the one Ms. Walters described, which she read about on an Internet discussion board.

"It's just, where would you like me to go so I don't bother you by being here?" Ms. Harrell said. "He was not on solids. It's not like I could have given him something to tide him over. He needed to eat."

Marilyn Yalom, the author of "History of the Breast," says Americans' views of the breast has changed over time, and could change again. More than in other countries, she said, the breast is seen here as a sexual object.

"We live in a very mechanistic society and almost anything that doesn't come out of a package is somehow suspect," Ms. Yalom said. "So milk that comes out of a real human breast, we're not very comfortable with, it brings us too close to our animal nature."

The nurse-in at ABC was perhaps the largest of the dozen or so held around the country over the last year.

"I have the right to breast-feed my child without getting nasty looks," said Patricia Lechuga, 32, who said she watches "The View" every morning while breast-feeding her 10-month-old daughter before her nap. "So many people watch the show, I was just so disappointed in them."

On the Upper West Side, it was hard to find anyone to disagree with her.

"Are there people who are against breast-feeding?" asked Rich Flisher, 39, a neighborhood resident passing by the nurse-in. "I do prefer it if you're discreet, but hey, I'm behind you. Go go go."

edit cynthetiq: fixed article and pasted URL.

Cuatela · 06-08-2005, 09:44 AM

IMO, as long as the woman is not obvious about it, I probably wouldn't notice and wouldn't really care. It's something that has to be done...like burping. Doesn't have to be made known to everyone, but it has to happen.

06-04-2005, 10:18 AM	#81 (permalink)
diddagirl Addict Location: Calgary, AB	I think breast feeding is kinda ruined for me. One of my best friends growing up's little sister was breastfed until she was five. The first time I saw it happening was when she was about two and a half (which I personally think is too old). The toddler hopped on her moms knee and told her that she wanted her "nummies" now. So in disbelief I asked my friend when we left the room "Does your mom still breastfeed Kelsi"? And her reply, "yeah of course...I was breastfed until I was 4, and she wants to feed Kelsi until she is at least 5". I am cool with breastfeeding, but my god, why would you breastfeed your kid that long? I understand the health benefits, but I just cant believe that it is in any way appropriate for a five year old whether in public or at home to be doing that. I now have no intention of breast feeding my future kids, because of how this disturbed me. It actually creeps me out now adays to see a women feeding in public. __________________ "Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done." -Matthew Arnold

06-04-2005, 09:46 PM	#85 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Sexymama puts a towel or baby blanket over herself when breastfeeding in deference to anyone who doesn't want to watch. I personally think that anyone who has a problem with it beyond this accommadation has exactly that, a problem. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

06-04-2005, 10:13 PM	#86 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	Even though my wife currently breast feeds, there is something about people doing it in public that bugs me and I have absolutely no idea why. I really can't explain it, hell if you want to beast feed in public be my guest, but it still makes me uneasy for whatever reason. My wife won't breast feed in public because she is oddly shy. While breast feeding is something that should be done in private (to her thinking) she will go full monty on a nude beach. Its all about the context for her. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

06-05-2005, 02:18 PM	#89 (permalink)
Hash_Browns Psycho Location: Right behind you...BOO!	Ok, I'm no professional breastfeeder here, I've breastfed once in public, at the table of which I was eating, with my Mom right by my side telling me to quite caring what other people think, the baby is hungry. But there are a few things I would like to point out here... #1 as it has been said, I'm not going to eat my dinner in a bathroom stall, and no not every bathroom has a sofa let alone are they clean, smell pretty just cuz it's for 'woman' or any of that, it's a place of elimination and the thought is just gross. #2 Some woman feel to use a towel/blanket to breastfeed is like throwing a big sign out there...HEY LOOK BABY IS SUCKING ON MY BREASTS!..now give me your stares and quizzical looks and even angry faces. Some would much rather do it discreetly and with as little notice as possible, and whether you believe it or not, it does and can happen without everyone knowing. #3 I don't care what anyones opinion is, I DO NOT at any point in breastfeeding my kids feel my breasts are a sexual object. PERIOD. The second I associate my kids sucking on my breasts as sexual, is a very bad day. So I have to lay that to rest right now. I also don't feel anyone has the right to look at me while breastfeeding and think about sex, as quite frankly that's kinda gross. This is all I can type about this for now... #4 Yes a woman can express her milk and bottle it, and use it later to feed, BUT that same woman is going to have her milk come in on a schedule, and her babies crying will make that happen even faster. This is a very uncomfortable experience for me. I would much rather let the baby eat and save myself from having to leak breastmilk all over my cloths and be uncomfortable so a few select people with a problem can feel better about it. #5 I am pregnant with my third child and have been empowering myself to believe I can breastfeed longer with this one then the other two and get over the whole 'society' thing. That I can live my life and let my other kids still be able to go out and have fun in 'public' places like they are used to, and if it means taking the baby and feeding in public, then so be it. Then I see this thread and it really really makes me mad. So what...with two other kids in tow I'm supposed to curl us all up nice and tight in a smelly toilet or choose to stay home all the timein order to 'hide' something that is perfectly natural?? I don't think so... There are ways to nurse while no one even knows, they make cloths for this kind of thing, baby slings that allow you to nurse while walking and so on. These things I would use, but I don't feel I have to wear a sign all the time like using a towel or any other shield if I'm not showing anything anyways... I do agree that there are some extremest's out there who will just whip it out without 'consideration' but those kind of people are not me, and therefore I have nothing to say about it. __________________ Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

06-07-2005, 08:45 PM	#91 (permalink)
Telluride Browncoat Location: California	I don't really care if women breastfeed in public, but I think someone with good manners would not be flamboyant about it. When on private property (like a store or restaurant), the owner of the property has a right to require that the feeding be discreet or even not allowed at all, if that is how he or she feels about it. __________________ "I am certain that nothing has done so much to destroy the safeguards of individual freedom as the striving after this mirage of social justice." - Friedrich Hayek

06-04-2005, 09:43 PM	#84 (permalink)
Disk_Pusher Tilted Location: Fresno, soon to be Sacramento!	In a few months, I'll be breatfeeding, and to be perfectly honest, when the baby's hungry, he's going to get fed. Because I'm shy, I'm going to be modest about it, but he's going to get fed in public, I'm sure. In regards to what age breastfeeding is apropriate, I lived with a mormon family in Arizona for 2 years, and in which time I met a family relative of theirs who was still breatfeeding her child at 2 years. I found this a little strange, however, it is their family and she can do what she sees fit. The husband aproved. Apparently, this was how they had been raised. According to my mother, it was after I bit her that I was not allowed to breastfeed anymore, at about 7 months. My SO wants me to breastfeed until our son is 1 years old, and my mother is shocked - in her eyes, this is WAY to old. In all honesty, I believe I'm going to use her rule - I'll breastfeed unti one year, OR until I'm bit. :-D ~Liz

06-04-2005, 10:56 PM	#87 (permalink)
RonRyan85 Insane Location: Lone Star State,USA	My feeling about this is that the woman can do the right thing by taking the baby into the women's rest room. Don't they have sofas and or chairs in just about all restaurants? If she thinks the table full of her friends will not mind,proceed and have at it at the table. I would imagine most adults are not opposed to seeing a nice looking breast and besides....a napkin could be draped over the lunch area with out hurting a hungry baby ....right?

06-08-2005, 09:44 AM	#94 (permalink)
Cuatela Insane Location: NC, USA	IMO, as long as the woman is not obvious about it, I probably wouldn't notice and wouldn't really care. It's something that has to be done...like burping. Doesn't have to be made known to everyone, but it has to happen. __________________ Any sarcasm was intentional.