tres

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liquidlight

Interesting situation, being in Utah I run into mom's breastfeeding in public all of the time and I've never had a problem with it, that may also come from the fact that I'm the 3rd of 10 kids and saw my mom breastfeeding all of my younger siblings.

Given the many benefits for both the mom and the baby I think I'd make a concentrated effort to become comfortable with it if I ever did have an issue just make sure that I was encouraging breastfeeding versus bottle feeding out of something as silly as social discomfort.

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tres

I'm in no way implying that it should not be done.. just wondering how people feel and if they have been in similar circumstances.

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la petite moi

Personally, I'm one of those girls that think that breasts should not just be viewed as sexual. If guys can show their chests, why can't women? A man's chest can be just as 'sexual' as a woman's chest. Hence, I believe there shouldn't be feelings of embarassment, etc. from either side. If your eyes wander, they wander. She knows that her breast is out there, and obviously she shows no embarassment by taking it out of her shirt. She also knows that at this time, women's breasts are seen as sexual, and so she'll probably understand your peeks.

Like you said, a woman can't just stay at home.

tres

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

la petite moi

The family should understand that though. Obviously, the breast is still seen as something sexual. If she chooses to do that in front of you, it shouldn't be seen as perverse- she chose to.

VitaminH

Here's a horrible, horrible story:

I was about 10-11 I think. I was with my parents visiting relatvies (specifically my mothers sister, or my aunt) whom we rarely see. My cousin at the time was maybe just over a year old if that, but he was a riot. I was having a blast playing with him for the past few days. So it's eveningsih and he's sitting in his mother's lab. I'm sitting across the room watching tv or whatever.

He looks at me and does something from his mother's lab and I decide I should go over there and play with him. So I get up and walk over and sit right next to my aunt on the ottoman that was next to her chair. She gives me the DEATH look like what the HELL do you think you're doing. I, being confused am not sure what's going on. Then my aunt utters the pure words of horror. To my young cousin she says:

"I think this side is empty do you want to switch?"

Or something to that effect.

DEAR GOD. She was breastfeeding. And from the look I got, it was very much a "stop trying to sneak a peak you little pervert" look. I paniced didn't know what to do, and honestly I can't remember if I moved from my spot immediatly or stayed there pretending like I had moved for some other reason.

To this day I still feel a certain amount of awkwardness when I'm around her, 12 years later, as if she's never forgotten that one time she thinks I tried to sneak a peak but when I was really ignorant to the whole situation. I swear someday I'm going to be fed up with it and blurt it all out. Maybe never. Maybe that one event is why my whole mother's side of the family seems to not like me.

WORST. TRIP. EVER.

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kutulu

People have a hard time separating boobies from breasts. To me boobies are for fun and breasts are for feeding the baby. People in this country have such hangups about breastfeeding and it's silly. Maybe it's different for me because my wife gave birth almost 6 months ago.

People are also weird about how long babies should breast feed. All of my wife's friends are stopping it right at 6 months and switching to formula. This just doesn't make any sense to us. Babies will ween themselves when they are ready, in most other countries they will continue to partially breastfeed for 1-3 years. There is nothing wrong with it but it is really looked down on here. We'll let our baby decide when she's done with it.

-edit- 10 years is pretty extreme though

la petite moi

See, VitaminH, if I were you then, I would have just said: "What? Are you embarassed of your breasts?" If she said she didn't want boys looking, then you should have asked why. I'm pretty sure she couldn't have come up with a very good answer.

It's obvious that the women know their breasts are sexual. So if they are THAT uncomfortable with men (who are currently sexually obsessed with breasts) looking at their breasts, they should go elsewhere.

Coppertop

I saw a report on TV not too long ago about a woman who breastfed until her son was 8 or so. That was creepy. Once the child has teeth and can eat solid food continuing to breastfeed is kinda strange.

tres

IMO when the child is old enough to verbally ask for it.. thats a little too long.

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"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

liquidlight

I apologize if that's the impression that I gave, I actually meant to compliment you on being mature enough about it to be uncomfortable and yet not object.

Amen to this as well! I've got no problem with breastfeeding at all, but at this point you're just giving the child an oral fixation.

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World's King

But the most important thing is... Does she have a nice rack?

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tres

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"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Psycho Dad

I have no problem with a woman breastfeeding her baby in public. However I will admit that it seems slightly uncomfortable being in the room when my sister-in-law nurses my niece. And I hate that. I hate the fact that our society based largely on the fears of religious sheeple have conditioned us to think that there is something wrong with the human body.

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Poloboy

1 in 9 women get breast cancer in their life. One of the major risk factors for breast cancer is your history of hormonal levels, which includes when you started menstruating, and whether or not you breastfed your kids.

Ladies - please breastfeed your kids, in public or wherever. If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable about it, kick him in the junk, turn around, and keep breastfeeding while facing the other direction.

As for trying not to look, Tres, think of it as an opportunity to practice eye contact. That's what I do.

Charlatan

We have a lot of hang ups as a society. This is one we just need to work hard to get over...

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spindles

At least your sister in law didn't try it in parliament:
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/stories/s793397.htm

For those link averse:
lpm - I suspect VitaminH would be in a less embarrassing situation now, but I doubt too many 11 year olds would say "what's wrong with me looking at your breast?"

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lurkette

My sis-in-law just puts a blanket over her shoulder when she breastfeeds and slips the baby under it. Discreet and polite and utterly without effort. Some people are uncomfortable with breasts in public, which is understandable, and I don't think I'd want folks staring at mine if I were breastfeeding in public.

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f6twister

No problem here either. My wife didn't have to do it with our first kid but since she plans to feed longer with the 2nd (which is on his or her way), the situation may come up. I'd rather have my child (or anyone elses child) get the needed nutrition than have to do without because of everyone elses inadaquacies.

At my sons 1 year birthday party, my wifes (very hot, former stripper) cousin brought her 10 month old son. She breast fed him a couple of times during the party and no one said a thing. Even though the event was attended by people she had never met before, she didn't feel the need to ask everyone how they felt before she began (and I'm glad she didn't).

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StanT

ehh, deal with it.

As fond as I am of them, breasts have a purpose other than male amusement.

Kalnaur

I think the funniest time this ever happened to me, I was working at Toys R Us. Trying to sell this family a plastic outdoor playset thing, and in the middle of the whole thing, she takes the baby, calmly pops out a breast, and starts the kid up.

Thank god for eye contact, she had two men who looked like they had shotguns in their trucks standing next to her.

And yes, a woman should be able to feed the kid wherever. So us men should get used to it.

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snowy

I have no problem with breastfeeding in public. Quite frankly I want to applaud women who do it. They deserve it.

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shakran

Trouble is, the "biological need" argument doesn't fly. Unless, of course, I can now pee on park benches because I have a biological need to urinate and why should I have to go to a special room to do it?

I agree that our society is too hung up over our bodies, but the argument in here should be "can women be topless in public?" The kid has nothing to do with it. Having a kid does not entitle you to special privledges. IMO if it's OK to see a man's chest in public, then adding some fat cells under the nipples should not require the person to put on a shirt.

But there are entirely too many people who say "yes, everyone else has to comply with societal norms, but I have a BABY and that means I'm exempt!" If a woman with a kid can expose her breast in public, then a childless woman should be able to as well.

MageB420666

There is nothing wrong with breast feeding in public, or with women having their breasts out in public at all. If someone doesn't like it, all they have to do is look somewhere else. Although, some women should be a little bit more considerate of others... Kalnaur's situation for example, the woman could have excused herself and gone into the restroom, or used a light cloth to help cover herself, or something of that nature. There is nothing wrong with a woman's breasts being exposed, but some consideration should be taken for those around you who might be made uncomfortable by the situation, not necesarrily strangers on the street, but if your in the middle of a conversation with some one? Come on.

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shakran

I was agreeing with everything you said up till this point. Why not strangers on the street? You don't only owe courtesy to your friends.

Fact is, people in our society ARE uncomfortable with seeing a woman breastfeeding. It's not hard for a woman to find a private way to do it. The towel is an option. Going to an empty room is an option. Going to the car is an option. There's rarely a time when you'd say "oh shit emergency I gotta breastfeed RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!!"

MageB420666

Because in a lot of situations it would become extremely difficult to accomodate said strangers.

Say that the woman goes into a public restroom, what about the other women that come in, should the mother have to go into a stall? Others can't be taken into consideration totally, but at least a small effort should be made.

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Cynthetiq

ahh... I had a similar experience with a hot Icelandic MILF got off the plane and met them for breakfast.... baby got some breakfast too... and I got a couple of eyefuls

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shakran

Aside from the fact that it'd probably be better to go into a stall anyway (you can sit down and have a lap to help you hold the baby up - - - dropping infants is bad ) just going into the public restroom was making an effort - that's something a lot of people don't do. I was in a family restaurant a few months ago and watched a woman breastfeed, then change, her kid while sitting at her table. Even ignoring the hygene issues, her actions showed that socially, she has a long way to go.

billege

A lot of this issue stems from the fact that our society, and others, have sexualized the brest to the point that it's hard for people to see it in any other fasion. It's not JUST a sexual toy, but where do you see that in media? No where.

The most natural thing in the world is for a mother to feed her child, at her breast.
There's nothing wrong with it, and women should be able to feed a baby where ever, without having to feel like a sex organ is on display. It's not a mom's fault that her breasts have been pimped by everyone as a sex toy.

Try and look beyond what media and society have pumped into your head. It'll hurt, but TRY to streatch that mental envelope.

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shakran

Let's switch that up a little.

raeanna74

Changing your baby at the table - No I don't think so. That's for the bathroom. Anyone can see that.

I feel very strongly about this issue. I breastfed my daughter until she was 3. I fed her in many places including the mall. WHY should a woman NOT be able to feed her child anywhere that anyone else can eat?? You wouldn't eat in the bathroom so why should a woman have to take her baby in, let alone into a stall and feed the child. That's gotta have major hygene issues. I don't think that because you are uncomfortable with something you should force that on someone who is only trying to care for their child. Some women show much more skin than that on a daily basis and I don't see you complaining.

On the other hand. I was in such as position as mentioned at the beginning of this thread. I was the woman nursing at the dinner table with the in-laws. My sister-in-law had her fiance with us. He was young - only 19 and you know the hormones are just raging at that time. I was considerate and threw a light blanket (always kept one with me) over my shoulder so that I didn't have to listen to my child cry because they were hungry (they get very insistant - for those of you who don't have kids) so that I didn't have to eat a cold meal. I showed absolutely no skin - less cleavage than you see looking down at a receptionist with a low cut top. My sister-in-law flipped. Right there. She cried out how it was terrible that I was "forcing my 3 or 4 mo old baby to suck on a sex object." Her issues wasn't with the exposure. She was programed to think of the breast as ONLY a sex object. That is not how we were designed and if we are ever going to get society over that notion we must accept women caring for the children as they see fit. My husband and father-in-law defended me and never seemed to feel uncomfortable about what I did.

I don't think a woman should ever have to go in a bathroom or leave her company in order to feed her child. I do think that it's kinder, if it's not too hot out, to throw a light blanket or something over her shoulder so that she doesn't give anyone something to feel uncomfortable with. It's not necessary but it's kind.

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Charlatan

Peeing is unsanitary. That is the main reason we don't do it in public. In not too distant past, men would urinate wherever they felt the need. We soon discovered that it was poisoning our water supply and making a stink that was not to be tolerated. We moved it off to toilets (public toilets were once an essential part of a thriving city... today, not so much).

A woman breastfeeding is not walking around topless. Most women who do it are reasonably discreet about it. Any issue that arises from this very natural act generally arise from the person seeing it... A woman breastfeeding is about as erotic as a man peeing.

Women walking around topless is another issue entirely and has no bearing (sorry for the pun) on the issue of breastfeeding.

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pinkie

Watching a mother feed her baby is a beautiful thing, and wanting to watch this is perfectly natural. I had friends come by to watch me feed my daughter, and I fed in public with no hesitation. The fact that she's attractive shouldn't make you feel shame for looking. Embrace it as beautiful, and tell your head to f-off!

You could say, I hope you don't mind me watching, but witnessing a mother feed is an amazing thing. -- Or not!

Just don't feel bad...

pinkie

Wow, Raeanna74, you are a SuperMom!! I agree with every word you said, and commend you for committing yourself to breastfeeding for that long. One of my best friends fed her son 'til he was ready to stop. I think he may have been 5.

lurkette

I don't know whether to laugh or be utterly horrified...my goodness, the issues this poor woman must have! I hate to break it to her, but they were food sources looooong before they were sex objects. That. Is. Their. Purpose. The fact that we've added sexual meaning to them might make it uncomfortable to switch contexts when suddenly they're being used as they were intended, but sheesh..."forced to suck on a sex object"?!? It's not like you were feeding the kid out of a hollowed-out dildo!

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meembo

Breastfeeding is a beautiful part of having a child, and I like the idea of Americans getting more used to these kinds of natural and beautiful things of the body, instead of getting even more repressed about expressions of the body in general.

My wife never wanted to breastfeed our boys out in the open in public, but she did all the time with a blanket over her shoulder. In the midwest, I used to see more moms do it in the open, but here in the Northeast I don't see it often at all.

As for eyeing the boobage -- I make it a point to interact with women breastfeeding if they choose to stay in a social setting while breastfeeding. Doing nothing or pretending nothing unusual is hapenening tends to make everyone nervous, and what's the point in that? Obviously, staring isn't cool, but looking and even asking a polite question to someone you know is very cool. It's a two-sided situation -- a woman who chooses to stay in a social setting while breastfeeding has to determine her own level of discretion and comfort with what's she's doing. As a man, I have to assume that's she's already figured that out for herself if she whips one out (or both, sometimes, to switch-hit).

And if it makes you nervous to see a woman breastfeed, it's a great time to think about why. If your reasons are solid, then do something else. I think most people consider breastfeeding intimate but not offensive or sexual in any way.

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Stompy

Women should breastfeed in public.

If they pull it out, you can look. If they give you a dirty look, then you say, "Well, don't pull it out for all to see!"

The End.

...and if they are nice, perhaps they will offer you some.

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asshopo

Hahaha, Stompy, yer crazy.

Anyhoo, I totally agree that a woman should be able to brest feed wherever she feels the need to. There is no reason to be shy about it and people that are offended about it can be offended. If you want a good happy medium, do the blanket over the sholder thing.

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JustJess

Oh. My. Gods. I would have been hard-pressed to not reach over and slap her. How did your husband not up end up crazy as well?
It's these kinds of immature, uneducated reactions that would make me want to cover up... but at the same time, NOT.
My sister breastfeeds when necessary - and no, you can't just put it off. When that kid is hungry, EVERYONE knows it. They're too young to be patient! And I've never noticed anyone freaking out about it. My husband did take a few times to become comfortable with it, but he was never ever rude to her (smart man).
Hmm... maybe this is wrong, but some part of me is hoping to have kids just to see if I ever get a reaction, because I would LOVE to verbally slap one of these idiots!
Breasts are FUNCTIONAL - they just happen to put the "fun" in functional!

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