07-11-2004, 06:25 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Princeton,NJ
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Kicking Dope, Again
OK, so I am definately not proud of this but I am sharing this with all of you SOLELY. I am currently 3 days into kicking a dope (heroin) habit that I blindly began again after being clean for 3 years. The problem is, I LOVE DOPE, I just don't like all the problems that come with it. So here I sit, at work no less, with cold sweats and desperately craving some diesel. I figure talking about it will help, so let's hear it. Good, bad, or indifferent.
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Midway in the journey of our life I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost. |
07-11-2004, 06:37 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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good luck.
keep it up.
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
07-11-2004, 07:10 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Never had to break a habit like heroin but when I kicked smoking, I too loved to smoke but knew it was going to mess up the rest of my life - cancer, cost, social issues, family health, etc. I imagine a heroin addict must love horse even more, but the consequences of not quitting are even more severe.
Suggest writing down all the reasons for quitting - you can probably come up with tons. Then write down all the reasons for using it (which will likely only amount to "cause I wanna"). Keep it with you and look at it every time you get the urge. Good luck, seek professional treatment if need be at a rehab clinic.
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Si vis pacem parabellum. |
07-11-2004, 09:45 AM | #6 (permalink) |
Helplessly hoping
Location: Above the stars
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I kicked dope almost 7 years ago now, cold turkey. Get through the kick. You can do it.
Trust me, I know what you're going through, and I know how hard it is, how painful it is, and how miserable it is. You can get through it. |
07-11-2004, 09:56 AM | #7 (permalink) |
Junkie
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I literally fled halfway across the country to get out of the meth scene about three years ago. My life had become like the waiting room scene in Beetlejuice. Utter limbo. What sucked the most about it was that I was really a pothead and only did crank because that's what everyone else was doing.
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07-11-2004, 11:28 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Portland, Oregon
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If you really need an addiction, a few suggestions:
1. Play video games 2. start collecting things such as cards, figurines, action figures 3. form a hobby and spend your money on that i.e. find something else that is a fairly safe addiciton to take the place of the one you miss. Me, my addicitons are video games, art, and collecting action figures. They've kept me from ever wanting drugs in the first place.
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PC: Can you help me out here HK? HK-47: I'm 98% percent sure this miniature organic meatbag wants you to help find his fellow miniature organic meatbags. PC: And the other 2 percent? HK-47: The other 2 percent is that he is just looking for trouble and needs to be blasted, but that might be wishful thinking on my part. |
07-11-2004, 12:22 PM | #10 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Mostly standing in a blue semi-circle
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Find a group, or someone you can comiserate with also, it helps to be able to talk to others in your situation. Back when my wife and I were dating she was an addict, and without me being at her side she would likely be dead. Kicking dope will be one of the hardest things in your life probabaly, but you can do it. You're stonger than a substance, keep that in mind and you will make progress I'm sure.
Good luck.
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- And so he says, 'I don't like the cut of your jib.' And I go I says, IT'S THE ONLY JIB I GOT, BABY! - |
07-11-2004, 01:48 PM | #11 (permalink) |
Poo-tee-weet?
Location: The Woodlands, TX
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well the hardest addiction ive kicked was caffiene... got headaches and stuff... sucked... prolly doesnt really compare to what your going through...
all i can say is hang in there...
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-=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto |
07-11-2004, 02:08 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Upright
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don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can 'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man When I put a spike into my vein And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same When I'm rushing on my run And I feel just like Jesus' son And I guess that I just don't know And I guess that I just don't know I have made the big decision I'm gonna try to nullify my life 'Cause when the blood begins to flow When it shoots up the dropper's neck When I'm closing in on death And you can't help me now, you guys And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk You can all go take a walk And I guess that I just don't know And I guess that I just don't know I wish that I was born a thousand years ago I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas On a great big clipper ship Going from this land here to that In a sailor's suit and cap Away from the big city Where a man can not be free Of all of the evils of this town And of himself, and those around Oh, and I guess that I just don't know Oh, and I guess that I just don't know Heroin, be the death of me Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life Because a mainer to my vein Leads to a center in my head And then I'm better off and dead Because when the smack begins to flow I really don't care anymore About all the Jim-Jim's in this town And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds And everybody puttin' everybody else down And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds 'Cause when the smack begins to flow Then I really don't care anymore Ah, when the heroin is in my blood And that blood is in my head Then thank God that I'm as good as dead Then thank your God that I'm not aware And thank God that I just don't care And I guess I just don't know And I guess I just don't know |
07-12-2004, 04:12 AM | #13 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: NJ
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Quote:
It's an ugly addiction and it goes way beyond just the drug. Most who can't break the habit have issues that go beyond the physical addiction. The mental addiction and programmed response to the triggers which drive them back to using are far tougher nuts.
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Strive to be more curious than ignorant. |
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07-12-2004, 04:42 AM | #14 (permalink) |
Wah
Location: NZ
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the physical addiction can give you a few weeks of unpleasantness ... in terms of actual pain it's not too bad ... still not much fun mind
after that you need new interests and new friends... i've taken up being a health freak in a half-assed kind of way ... i.e. i go running and then drink beer and smoke a few cigarrettes you can have my email address if you want to talk about it; PM me
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pain is inevitable but misery is optional - stick a geranium in your hat and be happy |
07-12-2004, 04:47 AM | #16 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: NJ
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Strive to be more curious than ignorant. |
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07-12-2004, 05:28 AM | #17 (permalink) | |
Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
Location: UCSB
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Second, as already stated, the guy has a problem with heroin which is a rather nasty drug from everything I have heard. Third, pot seems not to cause physical addiction; however, pot can cause psychological addiction. You need to remember that anything can cause psychological addiction though, ANYTHING. I'm addicted to a good number of thing: video games, the gym, masturbation, porno, food, ect. Those addictions are all psychological, except food. I go batshit when I don't eat enough food. Regarding the original poster, I would try to get away from anything that reminds you of your old lifestyle or causes you to want to pick-up the habit. I said "lifestyle" instead of "habit", because heroin use is a lifestyle and one that does destroy lives. I would suggest that you try to find an addiction that will somewhat replace your heroin addiction. The addiction needs to be something that is relatively benign, has minor psych withdrawl and keeps your thoughts away from heroin. I'm a personal fan of video games as my addiction of choice, but an instrument, craft, project, hobby or pet (depending on how responsible you feel) could all be possible alternatives. Caveat to my post: I have never been physically addicted to any drug (food aside) in my 18 years on this earth. I don't know what withdrawl feels like, and I don't pretend to know how rough it is. My advice is simply what psych classes have taught me and what my own common sense / intuition suggests. Take all advice at your own risk.
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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect. Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum: "Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt." Last edited by nanofever; 07-12-2004 at 05:32 AM.. |
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07-12-2004, 05:42 AM | #18 (permalink) | |
The Original JizzSmacka
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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard. |
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07-12-2004, 05:46 AM | #19 (permalink) | |
Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
Location: UCSB
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Quote:
Psychological addictions do not kill people, by themselves. Saying that physical and psychological addictions are the same is like saying a uni-cycle and a Boeing 747 are the same; they are both form of transportation.
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I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect. Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum: "Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt." |
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07-12-2004, 06:12 AM | #21 (permalink) |
Psycho
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I feel your pain brother. I'm 2 weeks into sobriety, and each day is a struggle.
I must do alone, what I can not do alone. Stay strong, life is more worth living clean, then it is to wander high. Keep busy, or take some time off, do whatever you need to do to get clean. Then, get your ass into NA, you know now that you have a problem, and that you are in danger of relapse. We admitted we were powerless - that our lives had become unmanageable. Just do it.
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He who is void of virtuous attachments in private life is, or very soon will be, void of all regard for his country. There is seldom an instance of a man guilty of betraying his country, who had not before lost the feeling of moral obligations in his private connections. -Samuel Adams |
07-12-2004, 06:22 AM | #22 (permalink) | |
I flopped the nutz...
Location: Stratford, CT
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Until the 20th century, reality was everything humans could touch, smell, see, and hear. Since the initial publication of the charted electromagnetic spectrum, humans have learned that what they can touch, smell, see, and hear is less than one millionth of reality |
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07-12-2004, 08:42 AM | #23 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Right behind you...BOO!
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Congrats to you in making a decision to help youself! Now that you've done that, I'm sure it will be much easier to find outside help also. If you feel you need it, take it...there's nothing to lose! Obviously you know that, because you've been through it once. While you're going through it this time, try to remember what happened that you started again...can't be a very good reason...but whatever it is...stay away from it!! And practice other responses to your triggers in a small way a lot of the time so when the urge comes on hard, you will have something to cling to...
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Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too! |
07-12-2004, 10:56 AM | #25 (permalink) |
Everything's better with bacon
Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
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Hang in there wallace, you're doing a good thing for yourself, whether your body thinks so or not. Hope you're body stops fisting you soon.
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It was like that when I got here....I swear. |
07-12-2004, 01:15 PM | #31 (permalink) | |
Helplessly hoping
Location: Above the stars
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07-12-2004, 01:18 PM | #32 (permalink) | |
Junkie
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07-12-2004, 01:24 PM | #34 (permalink) | |
Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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07-12-2004, 02:18 PM | #35 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: born in vietnam, lost in california
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you learn in AA/NA that when you try to quit, you tend to replace that addiction for another. best suggestion i can think of is to replace that addiction for something healthier... anything that can get your mind off the dope.
i was a crackhead, then a tweeker, now im a pothead... so getting advice from me isnt the best thing but at least i'm not blowing $300 bucks a night on crack anymore! now if only i can stop smoking out... |
07-12-2004, 03:02 PM | #36 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: West Coast, USA
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Quote:
That NA program is about complete abstinence from all drugs - it has nothing to do with substitution. Wallace - hang in there. I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but lots of hot water helps. Park a plastic chair in your shower... And when you feel 1/4 human, try going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Just look up the number in the white pages. And if you don't like it, go again. If you end up wasting 3 hours of your life, it's not much in the long run. And your chances of staying clean at a meeting are pretty damn good. |
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07-12-2004, 04:33 PM | #37 (permalink) |
Helplessly hoping
Location: Above the stars
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Wallace is just trying to get through the "kick" right now. Kick in junkie terms does not just mean stopping, it means days and days of writhing in pain, shitting on yourself, vomiting, and many many days with NO sleep, chronic muscular pain, severe distress, panic and fear. The only thing that will actually make him feel better at this point, if he hasn't broken down already, is to fix.
Last edited by pinkie; 07-12-2004 at 04:37 PM.. |
07-12-2004, 10:42 PM | #40 (permalink) |
Psycho
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Well Ive only did H for a couple of months, so I don't know exactly what you'r going through. My withdrawls I'm sure were a LOT more tame then yours.
Anyways I managed to quit it all cold turkey (by moving) but then after a year someone offered me some OxyCottons with is a similar drug (pain killer) and since it had been a year I eventually got carried away and OD. Woke up w/ paramedics all around me! So best of luck to you, I won't even get into the storys of my friends who got into it alot harder than I did |
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dope, kicking |
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