almostaugust

Share your own worst flatmate stories...... (or try and outdo me)

I moved in with this really hot gothic chic. I knew she was pretty weird so I really tried to tiptoe around this fucking bitch. About a month into living there she made a routine of bashing the fuck out of the adjoining wall to my room if i was talking too loud (anyone will tell you im softly spoken). Fuck it was scary. I wasnt aloud to have any friends over.
Then oneday i came home and shed decided i had to move out. I said sure ill organise a moving truck. A couple of days later i came home to find all of my mortal possessions splayed accross the front lawn PLUS A NOTE ATTACHED SAYING ALL THESE COMPLTELY RIDICULOUS CLAIMS ABOUT WHY I DONT GET MY BOND BACK. So i took all the fuses out of the electric box, and have made a blood oath to one day get her back.

A couple of years later im living with this guy, who was totally nice and easy going. At about the 15 month stage he meets this horrible little bitch i went through university with. After two weeks shes moved all her shit in and is running the whole joint. 1 week later they are engadged to be married- and have decided to buy all these house pets. I love pets, but our lease was void if they got them. They said they understood. A couple of days later i came home to 3 cats trapped in our study. They had crapped all over my Grandfathers table!!! I find a receipt on the table proof of purchase of the cats. I ring him up, and hes just like 'um, we didnt buy them.... we are minding them'. So i got the fucking shovel and and decpitated all the cats, there was blood everywhere. I didnt really but i kinda wish i did, if i wasnt such an all round nice guy. So i moved my shit out again.

cliche

I missed the second-to-last sentence the first time I read that... was thinking, who's he trying to say is the psycho!

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I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)

Lebell

Glad to hear you didn't take out your anger at your flat mates by killing innocent creatures...

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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powder

My roommate burned the house down while I was on a weekend ski trip. Oops, those candles were too close to the blinds.

almostaugust

Thats horrible. Did you loose any vital stuff? You still friends?

powder

When you are a ski bum your vital stuff is your ski gear. I was on a ski trip so I had most of it with me. I lost my stereo & tape/album/cd collection, my bed, a bunch of clothes, and bit of other stuff but I didn't own much so it wasn't too bad. Ya, we are still good friends. He threw a pile of gear out the window as it burned untill the fire dpt. showed up & hauled his ass out of the building. My stereo would have probably survived but sometime in the night it got crushed while it lay on the lawn. Of course he went to the ski closet first so no "critical" gear was lost.

TinniT

A year after highschool, somehow I managed to convince my parents to let me move in with a friend while they paid for it. He was 22, a friend of my brother's and I was 19. For the msot part I was the weird flatmate, but I was quiet.

For 3 months, it was just him and me. I slept during the day while he was at work, and he slept during the ngiht while I was frying my brain cells while watching movies in inebriation.

At one strange point in the time, my roommate came home with a dog. Here we were in an apartment with no yard, and a dog. I'd never taken care of a dog before, and my roommate took 0 care of it. When I went to visit my g/f at the time during thanks giving, he didn't feed it or give it any water at all. The thing literally starved. Thankfully for my consience it was still alive when I got back, and I was able to nurse it back to health. After about a week, I gave it to a friend. I couldn't live with knowing that the poor dog was in hell and didn't have anywhere to run.

Then in mid December, a new flatmate moved into the living room. This was very strange. This was a 2 bedroom apartment, but we now had 3 flat mates, and one was living in our living room, right next to the kitchen. He worked from 5pm to roughly 2am every night except weekends. He then came home and slept until 10 am. When he woke up at 10 am, he blasted his stereo. Sleeping was not an option.

Now, part of the inconvenience of all this was not just the sleep cycles, but that there was no defined room for this third flat mate. On more than one occasion, i'd walked into the apartment to poor old john (the flatmate) beatin' the meat to a porno without a door to have closed. It made it difficult to know when it was safe to walk inside, or even exit my room to take a dump.

Somewhere into the 5th month, the friend who I moved in with (the essential owner of hte apartment) asked for me to move out because I didn't get along with the third roommate. I didn't mind. I moved back with my parents. It was a nuthouse where I was living. I wasn't very productive though, and I didn't make any money, so I basically mooched off everyone else.

About a month later, the original owner of the apartment gave me a call asking if I wanted to move into a house with him; he kicked the other roommate out and was tired of him living there because he kept starting fights and bitching.

Fancy that.

- now I just live by myself and am afraid of having a roommate after the previous experience. A part of me wants to have a female roommate for the sake of balance in my life. Maybe i need to just get a mail order bride.

Jolt

I shared an apartment with two friends for a year, 4 years ago. They each owe me well over a thousand bucks from rent and utilities.

I was too nice to be mean. too bad? perhaps.

almostaugust

Other flamate stories continued...

Paul was a nice buddhist guy who never offended anyone. Underneath it all he had some physco problems that he was keeping locked in the dungeon via medication and an outwardly peaceful demeanour. He seemed the perfect flatmate to me. One of the girls in this share house arrangement started to find him 'creepy' and 'weird', and began to treat him badly. Then one day i come home to a freaking warzone!!! Paul has lost his chi bigtime, and is screaming at this girl and abusing the hell out of her. He is only wearing a pair of undies, and for some still unexplained reason has a halfchewed leg of lamb in his hand. This chick is throwing shit at him, and sobbing hysterically. Man it was horrible. I decided to calm him and her down by locking him in the garrage, but this just got him more pissed. An hour later though when i let him out he was back to his old self. He was smiling and spookily calm. He moved out within the day, and nobody has seen him since.

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'And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass'

fhqwhgads

My roommate in college used to pee in styrofoam cups and leave it on the dresser, desk, etc. Why? Hell if I know.