Let us discuss: FRUIT - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

preacher · 07-31-2010, 09:40 PM

BITCHES AND BANANAS
A parable of The Fuck™

Behold, my brothers. . .is a woman not like unto a fruit?
Verily, let us consider. . .

When the banana is bought at the market, is it not firm and ripe. . .the very perfection of all that a banana should be?
It is carefully selected for its lack of outward flaw and doth please the eye and taste of any who do love to eat of the delicious fruit.

But after a few days, doth not the outer skin of the banana begin to show spots, yea, even flaws that are not pleasing unto the eye?
Yet within the skin, is not the fruit still ripe, firm, and delicious? Does it still not please the tastes of he who consumes the banana despite the flaws in appearance? Yea, the banana still doth please, yet shall not be sought after as the perfect banana it once was.

But lo, my brothers! As the days pass, does not the banana's skin darken with an unsavory appearance? Does not the firm, ripe fruit begin to soften, and in places doth disgust he who tastes of it? Doth not the very appearance of the aged banana turn away those who would have sampled the fruit without question a short time before? Yea, the fruit of the banana will still be consumed, but only by those who shall purchase it at a lesser price. . .or who shall recieve it for free.

And hark, brothers. . .as but a few more days pass, does not the banana become loathsome? The fruit is soft and foul and fit only for those who are desperate for sustenance, no matter the flavor. Verily, doth not the skin blacken and testify of the rot within? Does not he who owneth such rotten fruit desire to return to the market for new bananas to replace that which are no longer sweet in appearance to him?

Verily, my brothers. . .are bitches not like bananas as they age?

Amen

Plan9 · 07-31-2010, 09:54 PM

This doesn't really fit. Bananas with brown spots are the sweetness, whereas the bright yellow ones are simply starchy.

So I'm supposed to pick food based on looks instead of taste? Wow, that's like picking a vehicle based on paint job instead of capability.

raging moderate · 07-31-2010, 10:34 PM

what is your deal with females? do you hate all females or just your SO? pls stop posting hate messages. love, moderate.

preacher · 07-31-2010, 10:55 PM

Are females not Jehova's most wondrous creation? Formed from the material of man and perfected as only that which comes forth as a refinement of the original, woman is most favored in the eyes of Jehova. Yet inside woman is a darkness. . .a darkness responsible for the fall of man that has caused Jehova to turn his eyes from the women who bear this darkness. . .greed, vanity, whoritry. As Jehova turns his hand against these, so do we.

Those that do not bear the taint of whoritry are rare, and we bear them no ill will.

Amen

Fremen · 07-31-2010, 11:40 PM

Women and nanner puddin'... What a combo!

Idyllic · 08-01-2010, 06:37 AM

Amen[/quote]

Quote:

Originally Posted by preacher

Are females not Jehova's most wondrous creation? Formed from the material of man and perfected as only that which comes forth as a refinement of the original, woman is most favored in the eyes of Jehova. Yet inside woman is a darkness. . .a darkness responsible for the fall of man that has caused Jehova to turn his eyes from the women who bear this darkness. . .greed, vanity, whoritry. As Jehova turns his hand against these, so do we.

Those that do not bear the taint of whoritry are rare, and we bear them no ill will.

Amen

Quote:

Originally Posted by preacher

There are some that say that whoritry is a sin, but I say unto thee, my brethren, that whoritry is no sin, but the very nature of woman! Amen?

Indeed bretheren, heed the word of The Messenger of The Fuck™ when I say unto thee that it is HIDDEN whoritry that is the transgression!

Misery is the just and certain reward of every slitch who doth hide her sins of whoritry commited in thought, word, or deed. But what is misery?

O Blessed Misery delivered unto a slitch by the righteous sermon of he that preacheth The Fuck™! The misery of the whore at its most blessed is a creation of a void or a hole, if you will, in the soul of a whore. . .a hole filled with remorse and regret. A hole created with pain and punishment, Yea, a hole dug deep as the preacher follows the way of the Cornerstones of The Fuck™, verily those blessed Cornerstones of Punishment. . .Atonement. . .Humiliation. . .Misery, that have been spoken of before and guide the every action of those who TRULY follow the dark path!

For what is a whore, but an instrument by which The Fuck™ may be preached? O wretched whore! Thou sinner! And of thy whoritries you have brought forth thy own retribution, your own Punishment. . .Your own Atonement. . .Your own Humiliation, and Your own Misery!

Yea, may thy soul be darkened by he that preacheth The Fuck™, that you may learn of thy true nature and thy whoritry no longer be hidden from thyself or from others, or if it remains hidden, that thy state become a state of self-tormenting anguish, arising from the knowledge gained of the forfeiture of thy place among the few women of worth, and the knowledge that thy estate shall never be among them. That the truth of The Fuck™ shall reveal thy whoritries unto thee and in this unhappy state may you forever continue.

O whore, reveal thyself and submit to thy penance before the righteousness of The Fuck™!

Amen

Hypocrite much preacher, "There are some that say that whoritry is a sin, but I say unto thee, my brethren, that whoritry is no sin, but the very nature of woman!".... one side of you mouth and the other side....... "Yet inside woman is a darkness. . .a darkness responsible for the fall of man that has caused Jehova to turn his eyes from the women who bear this darkness. . .greed, vanity, whoritry. As Jehova turns his hand against these, so do we." Wait, as I reread these and some of your other bs, I realize your not so much a simple hypocrite you go so far as to blatantly objectify women as well as debase them as anything other than whores hidden whores deny the true nature of whority, what a joke.

And with all this talk of firm immature bananas (because the best bananas are mature and have begun to develop color, they are the sweetest and the ripest) I wonder if you know HONESTY? Honestly do you know Honesty?

I know a great recipe for overripe bananas preacher, the best bread in the world, I also know a great place for unripe bananas, but to expound on this would be against my kinder nature, still, I can dream.

Your no preacher of the good words, your just another student in life who needs a whole lot more education in the true essence of humanity and accept some responsibility for your own growth that does not fill itself on the perceived self importance of your own preaching in which you appear to gorge on only your own immaturity like candy and then puke all over everybody else some technicolored goo and try to convince them it is good and they should like it because you say so. Really are you a troll?

Baraka_Guru · 08-01-2010, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Idyllic

Really are you a troll?

You be the judge.

MY STRANGE AND MISERABLE CONFESSIONS The Fuck?

raging moderate · 08-01-2010, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

You be the judge.

MY STRANGE AND MISERABLE CONFESSIONS The Fuck?

that is one fucked-up website. miserable is right

Idyllic · 08-01-2010, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

You be the judge.

MY STRANGE AND MISERABLE CONFESSIONS The Fuck?

Oh Dear, I was hoping for Troll, now I am hoping for something much Jazzier, but then, I think we can take this "preacher" for what he is, a lonely dude who has to manipulate and objectify women to get laid.

Thanks for the link B_G, now can you find me a link to help stop my skin from crawling after reading over some of that hate filled bullshit. preacher, you are not a nice man at all, the posting of pictures of your conquests is repulsive, reprehensible and displays your true nature as a seriously warped individual. I am trying to avoid being banned so I will say nothing more, for to speak to you in the way that I would like to I would assuredly be banned, although it may be worth it to tell you exactly what I think of you………. lets just say I find your posts to define your character and your, whatever that trash heap of a hate site is, to define your mental immaturity and general hate for womankind. Gross.

uncle phil · 08-01-2010, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preacher

BITCHES AND BANANAS
A parable of The Fuck™

Behold, my brothers. . .is a woman not like unto a fruit?
Verily, let us consider. . .

When the banana is bought at the market, is it not firm and ripe. . .the very perfection of all that a banana should be?
It is carefully selected for its lack of outward flaw and doth please the eye and taste of any who do love to eat of the delicious fruit.

But after a few days, doth not the outer skin of the banana begin to show spots, yea, even flaws that are not pleasing unto the eye?
Yet within the skin, is not the fruit still ripe, firm, and delicious? Does it still not please the tastes of he who consumes the banana despite the flaws in appearance? Yea, the banana still doth please, yet shall not be sought after as the perfect banana it once was.

But lo, my brothers! As the days pass, does not the banana's skin darken with an unsavory appearance? Does not the firm, ripe fruit begin to soften, and in places doth disgust he who tastes of it? Doth not the very appearance of the aged banana turn away those who would have sampled the fruit without question a short time before? Yea, the fruit of the banana will still be consumed, but only by those who shall purchase it at a lesser price. . .or who shall recieve it for free.

And hark, brothers. . .as but a few more days pass, does not the banana become loathsome? The fruit is soft and foul and fit only for those who are desperate for sustenance, no matter the flavor. Verily, doth not the skin blacken and testify of the rot within? Does not he who owneth such rotten fruit desire to return to the market for new bananas to replace that which are no longer sweet in appearance to him?

Verily, my brothers. . .are bitches not like bananas as they age?

Amen

Tully Mars · 08-01-2010, 03:50 PM

OP toaster by the ban hammer... thread closed

07-31-2010, 09:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
preacher Banned Location: I am atom	Let us discuss: FRUIT BITCHES AND BANANAS A parable of The Fuck™ Behold, my brothers. . .is a woman not like unto a fruit? Verily, let us consider. . . When the banana is bought at the market, is it not firm and ripe. . .the very perfection of all that a banana should be? It is carefully selected for its lack of outward flaw and doth please the eye and taste of any who do love to eat of the delicious fruit. But after a few days, doth not the outer skin of the banana begin to show spots, yea, even flaws that are not pleasing unto the eye? Yet within the skin, is not the fruit still ripe, firm, and delicious? Does it still not please the tastes of he who consumes the banana despite the flaws in appearance? Yea, the banana still doth please, yet shall not be sought after as the perfect banana it once was. But lo, my brothers! As the days pass, does not the banana's skin darken with an unsavory appearance? Does not the firm, ripe fruit begin to soften, and in places doth disgust he who tastes of it? Doth not the very appearance of the aged banana turn away those who would have sampled the fruit without question a short time before? Yea, the fruit of the banana will still be consumed, but only by those who shall purchase it at a lesser price. . .or who shall recieve it for free. And hark, brothers. . .as but a few more days pass, does not the banana become loathsome? The fruit is soft and foul and fit only for those who are desperate for sustenance, no matter the flavor. Verily, doth not the skin blacken and testify of the rot within? Does not he who owneth such rotten fruit desire to return to the market for new bananas to replace that which are no longer sweet in appearance to him? Verily, my brothers. . .are bitches not like bananas as they age? Amen

07-31-2010, 09:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	This doesn't really fit. Bananas with brown spots are the sweetness, whereas the bright yellow ones are simply starchy. So I'm supposed to pick food based on looks instead of taste? Wow, that's like picking a vehicle based on paint job instead of capability. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

07-31-2010, 10:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
raging moderate Insane Location: Whatever house my keys can get me into	what is your deal with females? do you hate all females or just your SO? pls stop posting hate messages. love, moderate. __________________ These are the good old days... formerly Murp0434

07-31-2010, 11:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Women and nanner puddin'... What a combo! __________________ Google

08-01-2010, 03:50 PM	#11 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	OP toaster by the ban hammer... thread closed __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

07-31-2010, 10:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
preacher Banned Location: I am atom	Are females not Jehova's most wondrous creation? Formed from the material of man and perfected as only that which comes forth as a refinement of the original, woman is most favored in the eyes of Jehova. Yet inside woman is a darkness. . .a darkness responsible for the fall of man that has caused Jehova to turn his eyes from the women who bear this darkness. . .greed, vanity, whoritry. As Jehova turns his hand against these, so do we. Those that do not bear the taint of whoritry are rare, and we bear them no ill will. Amen