Why I won't be at my high school reunion - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Crack · 07-18-2009, 05:06 PM

Very off topic: Why I won't be at my high school reunion : Good Math, Bad Math

Quote:

If you're not interested in completely off-topic personal rambling, stop reading now. This is very off-topic. But I wanted to say this once, and I wanted to do it in a way where I had some control over the publicly viewable responses. I will not be following my usual commenting guidelines here - anything which I consider to be abusive will be deleted, with no warning.

I graduated from high school in 1984. Which means that this year is my graduating class's 25th year reunion. As a result, a bunch of people from my high school class have been trying to friend me on facebook, sending me email, and trying to convince me to come to the reunion.

I don't feel like replying to them individually, which is why I'm writing here.

As pretty much any reader of this blog who isn't a total idiot must have figured out by now, I'm a geek. I have been since I was a kid. My dad taught me about bell curves and standard deviations when I was in third grade, and I thought it was pretty much the coolest damn thing I'd ever seen. That's the kind of kid I was. I was also very small - 5 foot 1 when I started high school, 5 foot three my junior year. Even when I shot up in height, to nearly 5 foot eleven between junior and senior year, I weighed under 120 pounds. So think small, skinny, hyperactive, geek.

Like most geek kids, I had a rough time in school. I don't think that my experience was particularly unusual. I know a lot of people who had it worse. But I think that it was slightly worse than average, because the administration in the school system that I went to tolerated an extraordinary amount of violent bullying. Almost every geeky kid gets socially ostracized. Almost all get mocked. In fact, almost all face some physical abuse. The main determinant of just how much physical abuse they get subjected to is the school administration. And the administration at my school really didn't care: "Bruises? He must just be uncoordinated and bumps into things. Broken fingers? Hey, it happens. We're sure it must have been an accident. What do you want, an armed guard to follow your kid around?"

In high school, I didn't have a single real friend in my graduating class. I had a very few friends who graduated a year before me; I had a few who graduated one or two years after me. But being absolutely literal, there was not a single person in my graduating class who came close to treating me like a friend. Not one.

Like I said before, the way I was by my classmates in high school was pretty typical for a geek. At best, I was ignored. At worst, I was beaten. In between, I was used as a sort of status enhancer: telling people that you'd seen me doing some supposedly awful or hysterical thing was a common scheme for getting ahead in certain social circles. In the most extreme case, someone painted a swastika onto the street in front of my house with gasoline, and lit it. (In autumn, in a wooded neighborhood.)

I'm can't even pretend that I wasn't an easy target, or that I didn't respond in a way that encouraged my tormentors. I was a hyperactive geek. My social skills were awful. I don't think that I deserved the way that I was treated; but at the same time, I do think that my hyperactivity and my lack of social skills both helped make me such a good target, and discouraged anyone from intervening on my behalf.

But I don't think that that excuses anyone who abused me. It doesn't excuse the bastards who made up stories about me. It doesn't justify the people who threw me against walls. It doesn't explain the guy who broke my fingers, because he wanted to know what it would sound like. And it doesn't absolve the people who watched, and laughed while that happened.

Now it's twenty five years since I got out of that miserable fucking hell-hole. And people from my high school class are suddenly getting in touch, sending me email, trying to friend me on Facebook, and trying to convince me to bring my family to the reunion. (It's a picnic reunion, full family invited.) Even some of the people who used to beat the crap out of me on a regular basis are getting in touch as if we're old friends.

My reaction to them... What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you think that I would want to have anything to do with you? How do you have the chutzpah to act as if we're old friends? How dare you? I see the RSVP list that one of you sent me, and I literally feel nauseous just remembering your names.

The only positive thing that ever came out of my time with you people is that my children are studying karate. My son will, most likely, have his black belt by the time he finishes fourth grade. He's a hyperactive little geek, just like me. He'll probably go through some social grief, just like I did. But when some fucker like one of you tries to lay a hand on him or one of his friends, he'll beat the living crap out of them. One of the mantras that his karate school follows is: Never start a fight, but if a fight starts, always be the one to finish it. And that's what he'll be able to do. To definitively finish any fight that anyone starts with him in a way that will teach his abusers and their cohorts to stay the fuck away.

And that's all that I want from you. Stay the fuck away from me. I don't want to hear about your lives. I don't want to know how you've changed since high school. I don't want to hear about your jobs, your spouses, your children. I've got a good life now, and I cannot imagine a reason in the world why I would pollute that world with contact with any of you.

Yeah, I don't think I'll be going to mine either for many of the same reasons.

Bear Cub · 07-18-2009, 05:11 PM

I'm going to go to my 10 year I think. I have every intention of pointing out that I lost weight while they all got fat, and that I make a SHITLOAD more money than they do.

DaniGirl · 07-18-2009, 05:58 PM

I ended up leaving my high school during my junior year and finished my high school education at a trade school I don't think I will have a 10 year reunion. But if I did I would probably go. I have gained a whole lot of weight since I was in high school, I mean Ive been threw three really tough pregnancies. But I'm big for even having three kids. But honestly I didn't care what people thought of me before and I don't care now. I'm still friends with some of my friends from high school and they really don't care how I changed. I would like to see where some people ended up.

Psycho Dad · 07-18-2009, 06:08 PM

I went to the first reunion my class had. I'm glad I did because I learned to not waste any time going to any more of them.

ASU2003 · 07-18-2009, 06:33 PM

I went to a fairly geeky high school (our basketball team didn't win one game my senior year), and most people there did care about grades (93% of our class went to college, 3% military, 4% dropped out).

I went to my 10 year reunion, and I think if we had a bar in our high school to teach us proper social skills, it would have been a much more enjoyable experience.

silent_jay · 07-18-2009, 06:41 PM

I graduated in 1994, and haven't gone to a reunion since, not that I had a bad experience, I just have the attitude that I didn't talk to most of these people while I was there, so what the fuck would I want to talk to them now. I've had some people from HS I absolutely hated try and talk to me when they see me, to which I say, I hated you while we were in HS what makes you think anythings changed, yeah I'm an asshole and I hate people in general, but reunions aren't my thing, I'll end up punching out some loudmouth who still thinks he's the 'cool guy'.

stevie667 · 07-18-2009, 06:58 PM

I second that article.

I have however thought about going to a reuinion and getting several friends to tag along in suits, sunglasses and earpeices to stand around me and say nothing, just for giggles.

Bill O'Rights · 07-18-2009, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

I went to the first reunion my class had. I'm glad I did because I learned to not waste any time going to any more of them.

This was my experience, as well. Word...for word.

KellyC · 07-18-2009, 08:07 PM

Gonna be a few more years until my 10 year high school reunion--if there's one. While I've lost contacts with most people I know since high school, I'm still on friendly terms with them. I wouldn't mind going. This thread makes me rethink about my position. I'd be nice to see some of them again, BUT what's the point if we're just gonna lost contact again, which is most likely since the ones I bumped into in public places don't even bother staying in touch...

Anormalguy · 07-18-2009, 08:45 PM

It's sad that kids have to through that kind of crap in school.

My pathetic high school only had a 10 year anniversary, which I missed. Part of me wanted to go in the hopes of seeing some of the few friends that I had had, but the greater part of me shared the same sentiments as the guy quoted in the first post.

AquaFox · 07-18-2009, 08:51 PM

i hated high school. I share the same feelings but I might go if only to see how wacked up people are. Most of my friends graduated a year after me.

perhaps I'll appear on a motorcycle dressed as Fonzie or perhaps in a white racing suit like the Stig.... everyone else is going to be doing the same, bragging about something...

dippin · 07-18-2009, 09:05 PM

I didnt go to my 10 year reunion. As I was an exchange student, I only did my senior year at that school, and then I went back to my country (and then returned to the US for grad school, so distance wasn't an issue).

Im a geek as well, but I am lucky enough to have been a big geek (6'3, 200lbs), so no one abused me. And I even talked to quite a few of them, so that wasn't the reason.

The reason is that I have never seen a group of people so devoid of any intellectual curiosity, any independent thought, any diversity. They might as well be lemmings. It was a rural, all white, all protestant high school in Michigan (there are no problems in being rural, all white, all protestant... just trying to convey the level of homogeneity here). Graduation was basically a church service, and given the homogeneity no one complained that a public school spent so much time talking about jesus in an official ceremony. Just like no one complained that biology class consisted basically of creationism + the anatomical details of different livestock. Teachers for the most part had been students there, so there weren't any outsiders in positions of power to shake things up. And not that there was anything wrong with the deep religiousness of the people there, but even when it came to religion there was no curiosity whatsoever. None of the people I graduated with ever left the country, and most never left the state.

It wasn't a poverty thing either. The school was rich, only their priorities were different. 15 million dollars for a new football stadium, but no one cared about the internet. There was ONE ap class offered there, and it was math. When it came to the social sciences or the humanities, we had one year of US history (if we can call it that- it was mostly trivia from different wars... diagrams of battles, weapons, etc.), and one year of "government" (basically memorize all amendments). Computer science was basically "get a news article and go retype it."

No one asked me a thing about my country, and whenever I asked them anything about the US, the answer was always a non-answer ("it's always been like this," "it just is," etc.)

I remember when one kid went to Chicago and came back absolutely shocked that people called fountain drinks "soda" instead of "pop."

Most had kids and got married during or soon after high school (and I was even told "no one would ever date me, as I would go back and there would be no chance of a life together.") At one point there were 14 freshmen girls pregnant, and the closest thing to a friend there was a girls who was somewhat of an outcast because she was already divorced at 19 (with 2 kids).

I basically hung out with the German exchange students and kids from other schools, and did as many trips organized by the exchange student organization as I could. I went on classmates.com the other day and most of the people there are still living in the same area, married to each other, either living as a farmer or high school employee.

So it's not that I have bad memories, or that I hated everyone... I just didn't really care about them and probably already knew everything there was to know about their lives, so why travel across a few state lines for a what was going to be a minor event? It was just a dinner party at a local hall. since almost everyone lived locally and kept in touch anyways.

Xerxys · 07-18-2009, 09:15 PM

You want to know what else could be funny? The bullies at high school might have actually let go of all the rage and went to community college. Took their SAT's maybe 800 times but passed in the end and now have a good job and are making a decent living.

.... and you still have a hard time with women.

m0rpheus · 07-18-2009, 09:22 PM

I have kept, for the most part, in contact with the people I went to highschool with that I cared to. The few I didn't keep in contact with I've caught up with through the magic of Facebook in the last year or two.

In other words, I can see (or chat with in the case of the ones living further away) the people I'd WANT to talk to at a reunion already.

flat5 · 07-19-2009, 01:12 AM

I dropped out of HS in '66. No one I grew up with has ever contacted me.

SSJTWIZTA · 07-19-2009, 01:27 AM

i didnt finish highschool for a reason.

i got my diploma later, but i hated the fucking place sooooo god damn much i just said "fuck it" and walked away.

didnt go to pep rallys, didnt go to prom (and i was asked), didnt go to school sporting events, didnt go to home comings, and i'm sure as fuck not going to any reunions.

Redjake · 07-19-2009, 03:09 AM

I hated high school just as much, but not because I was picked on. It was just an awkward place to be at.

What is funny to me is how some people consider it the best times of their lives - usually the same people picking on others and cheating on tests. You know, the ones that got all the girls for no apparent reason. They think back to it as a fond adventure.

settie · 07-19-2009, 10:05 AM

My gosh...his fingers broken because the abuser wanted to know what it sounded like?!?!
Geezus christ.

While he might be bitter about his past (who wouldn't after THAT?!), he's doing just fine.
Why reminisce about those awkward teenage years anyways? Bleck.
I went to a brief partial high school reunion two or three years after graduation (I can't remember which). Quick in and out. Never again do I want to see ANY of those douchebags.
I must have been temporarily daft to go in the first place. They didn't like me, I sure as hell don't like them. What was I thinking?!
You won't see me at another high school reunion ever again.
In fact, the further I get away from this shitty city, the better.

WinchesterAA · 07-19-2009, 10:32 AM

I was a geeky little bugger when I was a kid. I wasn't super-geek, like Sam, and I wasn't lousy loathsome geek like Jonathan. (seriously, that guy.. anything you ever said, he would bitch and moan about)

also I wasn't the useless geek who followed smarter people around, but could only make Bs on the math exams and whatnot, and may or may not have a computer yet.

I did, however, fight often and hard.

I kinda got a reputation for being able to turn people off when they were making too much noise, and that got me through without any real confrontation.

I fuckin hate people until they give me reason to feel otherwise, too many shitheads in the world, and for that reason, I couldn't care less about school reunions. I didn't like em when I was there, 99% chance I still won't.

percy · 07-19-2009, 12:44 PM

I haven't been and don't intend to go. I am not one for nostalgia trips. Not that going to one is a bad thing or that people shouldn't go if they want. I am a forward acting and thinking person and really just don't have a desire to reminisce about Ms.Smiths Grade 11 English class or a disagreement I had with someone and now they want to bring it up.

Also I think that people who go (just a personal opinion - don't jump all over me) are those who need to show others what they made of themselves for some reason. And maybe people stay away because they haven't achieved what those in high school thought they would.( ie quarterback of the team, most popular guy in school, best looking guy, had the prettiest girlfriend, had scholarships to top schools,...but ended up working a parts service counter at NAPA for $8 an hour.)

Generally I think people go back because they missed out on something in high school and in going to a reunion will give them some redeeming comfort.

Either way horses for courses.

Reese · 07-19-2009, 01:07 PM

Fuck High school. I also quit high school and got my diploma later on. If you enjoyed high school you were probably part of the crowd ruining it for everyone else. Fortunately, if I had to compare myself to the people I went to school with just knowing that I'd never been hooked on meth would mean I've done better in life than 99% of those douchebags.

Nisses · 07-20-2009, 12:06 AM

Reunions are somewhat of an idiotic invention as far as I'm concerned: The people from that time I still want to talk to, I actually still talk to. The others, I ended communication with them for a good reason.

CinnamonGirl · 07-20-2009, 12:18 AM

Huh. I enjoyed high school. I was a dork, but I also played sports... and being a girl, I didn't really have to worry about getting beaten up (mostly.)

Was I part of the crowd making everyone else miserable? No. I was the girl who was just as comfortable kicking ass out on the court/field as I was talking about sci-fi with the chess club. Most of my friends were in band or Thespians, but with one or two exceptions, I can't think of anyone I didn't get along with.

I'll most likely be going to my 10 year reunion, which is coming up later this summer. Not because I want to relive my "glory days," or because I want to prove something... because I'm curious. *shrug*

Sorry everyone else had such terrible experiences.

DeathRowMarv · 07-20-2009, 12:23 AM

I just successfully ignored my 30th with the same conviction that I used to ignore my 10th, 20th, and 25th. While Junior High was where most I received most of the grief in my school-going years, high school was just a lot of nothing. However, college was an absolute blast and I'd love to know what some of those people are doing right now.

yournamehere · 07-20-2009, 08:18 AM

Good for you, CinnamonGirl!

It' saddening to read that so many people on this board grew up so friendless.

You know, at reunions you only visit people you grew up and went to school with; it's not actually being back in high school. Give it a try - you can always leave early if you don't have fun. Chances are pretty good that everyone you knew in high school has changed as much as you have since then. You might be surprised.

I waited until my 30th to go to one, but that was because I lived 2,000 miles away; not because I didn't want to go. It was a lot of fun. Most of my good friends had moved away, like I had, but we all chose that year to go back.

Psycho Dad · 07-20-2009, 09:24 AM

I don't think it is an issue of being friendless. I had as many friends as the next guy. Now I have different friends and don't have an urge to be reunited with old ones. The first reunion was a waste of time and didn't sell me on going to any more of them.

If CinnamonGirl has a good time (and lets hope she does) great. But I'll continue to avoid mine.

Lasereth · 07-20-2009, 09:32 AM

I'm not sure if I'll be going to mine. I hated every minute of high school and actually had a harder time with it academically than getting my bachelor's. I was a different person then. I was extremely insecure and self-conscious to the point of it being a disorder. I grew up with a few friends who unintentionally berated me constantly and made me feel worthless. I watched as all of my friends dated and partied and drank alcohol and did "cool shit" while I did nothing because of my insecurity.

Now I'm a different person and I wish I could do it all over again like I am now.

I will probably go but I don't know why -- I can see how fat and unsuccessful everyone is on Facebook.

LordEden · 07-20-2009, 09:55 AM

Went I first saw this thread my first thought was "Fuck those guys, I fucking hated High School, stuckup pricks", but then I really started thinking about my years in high school. They weren't that bad. I mainly hated HS because it's school. I just hated school, but not because of the social stigmas, just cause I hate getting up in the morning. Yeah, I was a geek. Yeah, I got picked on. Yeah, I has social problems (still do). HS didn't cause that for me. I had a girlfriend for half of my HS career. I had alot of friends and a few of the football players loved me (which kept me out of fights). I did get picked on by a group of guys, but they eventually were expelled (for various reasons) so I didn't have to deal with them more than one year.

I'm a nice guy and most people knew that, so I got along with everyone. Yeah I didn't go to the "cool kids" parties, but I didn't really care. I didn't start drinking till college anyway. A lot of the preppy kids wanted to get me drunk cause they thought I'd be a fun drunk, but just wasn't me. I was a huge computer geek, but I had friends and all of the preppy/sports kids left me alone, unless they needed help on homework. Hell, senior year I had 8 classes all year and 7 of those were apprenticeships at my step-dad's computer shop. I only went to school for one class.

I only say this because I still don't want to go to a HS reunion. I don't care enough to see people I went to HS with. I moved on, I don't want to look back. They weren't the "best years of my life", they were just years OF my life. If I want to talk to people from HS, I have facebook. Seeing how I haven't logged into facebook in... 6 months, I could care less about seeing those people either. I don't hate the people from my HS, I just don't care.

roachboy · 07-20-2009, 10:32 AM

high school seems like someone else's life.
i found for a long time that i really didn't care either way about going or not going to a reunion. if following on some hellish scenario in an alternate reality i still lived in the same town, i probably would have gone. but as it turned out i would have had to make arrangements to attend. so i didn't.

i'm still pretty close with one friend from high school and he lives closer so has gone to these things. when i get curious about this or that person, i ask him. a couple folk i lost track of long ago have bounced back to the surface via facebook and they just seem....o i dunno....like nice, regular folk.

i don't know if i would or would not go to a reunion now.
it isn't a question that occupies much of my attention.
i've just thought about it more than i've thought about the matter in a long time.

i still hate the town i grew up in. i still don't particularly care about reunions.

Giant Hamburger · 07-20-2009, 10:49 AM

My 25th is this year.
Perhaps it has already happened.
No one has tried to contact me about it.
I must conclude the lack of interest is mutual.

Strange Famous · 07-20-2009, 11:48 AM

I was a geek at school I guess (I like comic books, I was in the top 10% of my class in most subjects) - but no one ever picked on me especially.

It isnt an excuse for it, but most people are bullied because they are the people who are least able to stand up to it. People used to make fun of my weight at school - and if I had got upset about it it probably would have gone on more cos people want a reaction out of it, but if you just come back with "your mum didnt complain about my physique the another night mate, what a filthy slut..." or whatever people dont carry on.

What I probably am guilty of - like a lot of people - is seeing people getting picked on and not really sticking up for people.

I got in a couple of fights, and fought back... and then after that most people get to know you arent someone that they can just steal on or whatever. I remember in my first year two kids from the fifth year tried to take my lunch money - I swung at both of them, got my ass kicked a little, but they didnt think they were gonna take money from me again after that.

Zeraph · 07-20-2009, 11:53 AM

Just rofl at his kid having a black belt in 4th grade. Gogo mcdojo!

I liked high school for the most part. But I have no plans in seeing them again except maybe two or three people, but I don't need a reunion to see them as I'm still friends with them.

I dont really get it, there's not much special about high school. I'd rather have a gradeschool reunion or a college one.

Sue · 07-20-2009, 12:06 PM

Yeah, almost everyone at my school was either an asshole jock or a bunch of snobby bitches. I went to the richest public HS in Tampa Fl (at the time), and I really don't care to go back to any reunions, as I couldn't stand most of the people there.

LoganSnake · 07-20-2009, 12:57 PM

You people must have went to some really fucking shitty highschools. Goddamn, there is so much resentment in this thread. Have all of you been walking targets?

I was quiet.
I was an immigrant.
Not a FOB, but not too removed from that.
My English wasn't that great.
Scrawny (still am).

Yet, I have managed to make acquaintances with many people in my classes, including many of my fellow Eastern Europeans. I've never been picked on. I have, but only verbally and only in jest. It wasn't done to hurt me emotionally. Just people shooting shit. I don't really understand what kind of a geek you have to be to attract that much attention.

StinkyFinger · 07-21-2009, 03:05 PM

Hey Crack, If they were'nt your freinds then, why do you suppose they want you to think they are your freinds now?
Screw 'em.

Tully Mars · 07-21-2009, 03:19 PM

I wouldn't go to a HS reunion or even college. Too far to travel to meet people I'm not really involved with any more. HS was alright just don't know any of those people anymore. I didn't know anyone in college. I didn't have time, full time job and new born at home plus everyone was younger then me. Most conversations involved "will you buy us beer?"

I'd travel far for a Navy reunion.

streak_56 · 07-21-2009, 03:31 PM

Dippin,

I know exactly what you were talking about. I moved from Calgary, Ab, Canada to Hilliard (Suburb of Columbus), Oh, USA. No one ever cared enough to ask about where I was from but as a requirement to graduating high school, I had to take American Government, History and pass a citizenship test. Although my history class was awesome, my government teacher preached that his rule in his class was finite and the citizenship was a joke (I learned most of what was on it from watching hockey games and there were people who failed it). There was no other history classes, the closest thing was a greek mythology class which oddly was an english class. Canadian Math apparently is different than their math so I had to take summer courses to "catch up," and the fact that I got 95+ in them didn't change their mind. I hung out with the outcasts, mostly because a guy used to always pick on me for being from Canada, like it was seriously different from the US. I still have really good friends there and I think that most of the people who pick on other people in high school are laughable, because those 4 years will be the best in their lives, which is laughable. I do not at all mean to put down the US educational system or people in the US, there are some really amazing people who went to that school, the Valedictorian chose to become a photographer not because Univerities threw money at him, but because life is precious and you can't waste time on not doing what you want.

But I would never go, I don't talk to anyone in my graduating class. I would knock the guy who made fun of me, the fuck out, his ignorance pissed me off more than anything.

Rekna · 07-21-2009, 03:45 PM

I was a bit geeky in school, I had friends but they were all a bit geeky too. My 10 year high school reunion was last week and unfortunately I was not able to make it due to the cost to travel half way across the country. When I left high school I didn't particularly like many people in my class. However, I still wanted to go to my reunion and here is why.

Since I left high school I have had numerous run-ins (usually at a bar) with people I used to dislike and got along fine with them. In fact many times I found that they had matured a great deal and were no longer idiots. People grow up, the people you knew in high school are not the same people by your 10 year and definitely not the same by your 20.

On top of this, one should not hold onto anger like the letter posted above did. It is not healthy to be so angry about something. You don't need to forgive the people for what they did but staying angry does you no good. In fact, anger like this only affects one person and that is you, the people you are angry at don't even know you are angry at them...

Thats my 2 cents.

sapiens · 07-22-2009, 12:21 PM

I haven't gone to any of my high school reunions. I don't have any hostility toward my high school or toward the people who were in my high school class. I don't live anywhere near where I grew up. I don't feel connected to that part of my life anymore. So, I don't see any reason to go.

ngdawg · 07-22-2009, 01:22 PM

From 7th grade on, I was picked on, played tricks on, threatened with bodily harm and even called "odd" by a guidance counselor. There were maybe 10 people who didn't treat me like a discarded candy wrapper and only one I am in contact now.
When a questionaire was sent for the 25th reunion, it asked to write "Your fondest memory of High School" and I responded, "none. it was the worst time of my life" and sent it back.

One of the bullies who wished to kick my ass was a former childhood friend and is now a "born-again Christian"-this after being a bully and a major slut.

I don't give a rat's ass how any of them are doing now and wouldn't attend a reunion if they made me guest of honor.

07-18-2009, 05:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	I'm going to go to my 10 year I think. I have every intention of pointing out that I lost weight while they all got fat, and that I make a SHITLOAD more money than they do. __________________ Living in the United Socialist States of America.

07-18-2009, 06:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I went to the first reunion my class had. I'm glad I did because I learned to not waste any time going to any more of them. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

07-18-2009, 06:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
silent_jay Her Jay Location: Ontario for now....	I graduated in 1994, and haven't gone to a reunion since, not that I had a bad experience, I just have the attitude that I didn't talk to most of these people while I was there, so what the fuck would I want to talk to them now. I've had some people from HS I absolutely hated try and talk to me when they see me, to which I say, I hated you while we were in HS what makes you think anythings changed, yeah I'm an asshole and I hate people in general, but reunions aren't my thing, I'll end up punching out some loudmouth who still thinks he's the 'cool guy'. __________________ Absence makes the heart grow fonder

07-18-2009, 06:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	I second that article. I have however thought about going to a reuinion and getting several friends to tag along in suits, sunglasses and earpeices to stand around me and say nothing, just for giggles. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

07-18-2009, 08:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	Gonna be a few more years until my 10 year high school reunion--if there's one. While I've lost contacts with most people I know since high school, I'm still on friendly terms with them. I wouldn't mind going. This thread makes me rethink about my position. I'd be nice to see some of them again, BUT what's the point if we're just gonna lost contact again, which is most likely since the ones I bumped into in public places don't even bother staying in touch... __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

07-18-2009, 05:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
DaniGirl Addict Location: Fucking Utah...	I ended up leaving my high school during my junior year and finished my high school education at a trade school I don't think I will have a 10 year reunion. But if I did I would probably go. I have gained a whole lot of weight since I was in high school, I mean Ive been threw three really tough pregnancies. But I'm big for even having three kids. But honestly I didn't care what people thought of me before and I don't care now. I'm still friends with some of my friends from high school and they really don't care how I changed. I would like to see where some people ended up.

07-18-2009, 06:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	I went to a fairly geeky high school (our basketball team didn't win one game my senior year), and most people there did care about grades (93% of our class went to college, 3% military, 4% dropped out). I went to my 10 year reunion, and I think if we had a bar in our high school to teach us proper social skills, it would have been a much more enjoyable experience.

07-18-2009, 08:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
Anormalguy After School Special Moralist Location: Large City, Texas.	It's sad that kids have to through that kind of crap in school. My pathetic high school only had a 10 year anniversary, which I missed. Part of me wanted to go in the hopes of seeing some of the few friends that I had had, but the greater part of me shared the same sentiments as the guy quoted in the first post. __________________ In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

07-18-2009, 08:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
AquaFox WaterDog	i hated high school. I share the same feelings but I might go if only to see how wacked up people are. Most of my friends graduated a year after me. perhaps I'll appear on a motorcycle dressed as Fonzie or perhaps in a white racing suit like the Stig.... everyone else is going to be doing the same, bragging about something... __________________ ...AquaFox... Last edited by AquaFox; 07-18-2009 at 08:53 PM..

07-18-2009, 09:05 PM	#12 (permalink)
dippin Crazy, indeed Location: the ether	I didnt go to my 10 year reunion. As I was an exchange student, I only did my senior year at that school, and then I went back to my country (and then returned to the US for grad school, so distance wasn't an issue). Im a geek as well, but I am lucky enough to have been a big geek (6'3, 200lbs), so no one abused me. And I even talked to quite a few of them, so that wasn't the reason. The reason is that I have never seen a group of people so devoid of any intellectual curiosity, any independent thought, any diversity. They might as well be lemmings. It was a rural, all white, all protestant high school in Michigan (there are no problems in being rural, all white, all protestant... just trying to convey the level of homogeneity here). Graduation was basically a church service, and given the homogeneity no one complained that a public school spent so much time talking about jesus in an official ceremony. Just like no one complained that biology class consisted basically of creationism + the anatomical details of different livestock. Teachers for the most part had been students there, so there weren't any outsiders in positions of power to shake things up. And not that there was anything wrong with the deep religiousness of the people there, but even when it came to religion there was no curiosity whatsoever. None of the people I graduated with ever left the country, and most never left the state. It wasn't a poverty thing either. The school was rich, only their priorities were different. 15 million dollars for a new football stadium, but no one cared about the internet. There was ONE ap class offered there, and it was math. When it came to the social sciences or the humanities, we had one year of US history (if we can call it that- it was mostly trivia from different wars... diagrams of battles, weapons, etc.), and one year of "government" (basically memorize all amendments). Computer science was basically "get a news article and go retype it." No one asked me a thing about my country, and whenever I asked them anything about the US, the answer was always a non-answer ("it's always been like this," "it just is," etc.) I remember when one kid went to Chicago and came back absolutely shocked that people called fountain drinks "soda" instead of "pop." Most had kids and got married during or soon after high school (and I was even told "no one would ever date me, as I would go back and there would be no chance of a life together.") At one point there were 14 freshmen girls pregnant, and the closest thing to a friend there was a girls who was somewhat of an outcast because she was already divorced at 19 (with 2 kids). I basically hung out with the German exchange students and kids from other schools, and did as many trips organized by the exchange student organization as I could. I went on classmates.com the other day and most of the people there are still living in the same area, married to each other, either living as a farmer or high school employee. So it's not that I have bad memories, or that I hated everyone... I just didn't really care about them and probably already knew everything there was to know about their lives, so why travel across a few state lines for a what was going to be a minor event? It was just a dinner party at a local hall. since almost everyone lived locally and kept in touch anyways.

07-18-2009, 09:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	You want to know what else could be funny? The bullies at high school might have actually let go of all the rage and went to community college. Took their SAT's maybe 800 times but passed in the end and now have a good job and are making a decent living. .... and you still have a hard time with women.

07-18-2009, 09:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
m0rpheus bad craziness Location: Guelph, Ontario	I have kept, for the most part, in contact with the people I went to highschool with that I cared to. The few I didn't keep in contact with I've caught up with through the magic of Facebook in the last year or two. In other words, I can see (or chat with in the case of the ones living further away) the people I'd WANT to talk to at a reunion already. __________________ "it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

07-19-2009, 01:12 AM	#15 (permalink)
flat5 Very Insignificant Pawn Location: Amsterdam, NL	I dropped out of HS in '66. No one I grew up with has ever contacted me.

07-19-2009, 01:27 AM	#16 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	i didnt finish highschool for a reason. i got my diploma later, but i hated the fucking place sooooo god damn much i just said "fuck it" and walked away. didnt go to pep rallys, didnt go to prom (and i was asked), didnt go to school sporting events, didnt go to home comings, and i'm sure as fuck not going to any reunions. __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

07-19-2009, 03:09 AM	#17 (permalink)
Redjake I'm a family man - I run a family business. Location: Wilson, NC	I hated high school just as much, but not because I was picked on. It was just an awkward place to be at. What is funny to me is how some people consider it the best times of their lives - usually the same people picking on others and cheating on tests. You know, the ones that got all the girls for no apparent reason. They think back to it as a fond adventure. __________________ Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

07-19-2009, 10:05 AM	#18 (permalink)
settie Junkie	My gosh...his fingers broken because the abuser wanted to know what it sounded like?!?! Geezus christ. While he might be bitter about his past (who wouldn't after THAT?!), he's doing just fine. Why reminisce about those awkward teenage years anyways? Bleck. I went to a brief partial high school reunion two or three years after graduation (I can't remember which). Quick in and out. Never again do I want to see ANY of those douchebags. I must have been temporarily daft to go in the first place. They didn't like me, I sure as hell don't like them. What was I thinking?! You won't see me at another high school reunion ever again. In fact, the further I get away from this shitty city, the better.

07-19-2009, 10:32 AM	#19 (permalink)
WinchesterAA Tilted	I was a geeky little bugger when I was a kid. I wasn't super-geek, like Sam, and I wasn't lousy loathsome geek like Jonathan. (seriously, that guy.. anything you ever said, he would bitch and moan about) also I wasn't the useless geek who followed smarter people around, but could only make Bs on the math exams and whatnot, and may or may not have a computer yet. I did, however, fight often and hard. I kinda got a reputation for being able to turn people off when they were making too much noise, and that got me through without any real confrontation. I fuckin hate people until they give me reason to feel otherwise, too many shitheads in the world, and for that reason, I couldn't care less about school reunions. I didn't like em when I was there, 99% chance I still won't. Last edited by WinchesterAA; 07-19-2009 at 10:34 AM..

07-19-2009, 12:44 PM	#20 (permalink)
percy Addict	I haven't been and don't intend to go. I am not one for nostalgia trips. Not that going to one is a bad thing or that people shouldn't go if they want. I am a forward acting and thinking person and really just don't have a desire to reminisce about Ms.Smiths Grade 11 English class or a disagreement I had with someone and now they want to bring it up. Also I think that people who go (just a personal opinion - don't jump all over me) are those who need to show others what they made of themselves for some reason. And maybe people stay away because they haven't achieved what those in high school thought they would.( ie quarterback of the team, most popular guy in school, best looking guy, had the prettiest girlfriend, had scholarships to top schools,...but ended up working a parts service counter at NAPA for $8 an hour.) Generally I think people go back because they missed out on something in high school and in going to a reunion will give them some redeeming comfort. Either way horses for courses.

07-19-2009, 01:07 PM	#21 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	Fuck High school. I also quit high school and got my diploma later on. If you enjoyed high school you were probably part of the crowd ruining it for everyone else. Fortunately, if I had to compare myself to the people I went to school with just knowing that I'd never been hooked on meth would mean I've done better in life than 99% of those douchebags. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

07-20-2009, 12:06 AM	#22 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	Reunions are somewhat of an idiotic invention as far as I'm concerned: The people from that time I still want to talk to, I actually still talk to. The others, I ended communication with them for a good reason. __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

07-20-2009, 12:18 AM	#23 (permalink)
CinnamonGirl She's Actual Size Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell	Huh. I enjoyed high school. I was a dork, but I also played sports... and being a girl, I didn't really have to worry about getting beaten up (mostly.) Was I part of the crowd making everyone else miserable? No. I was the girl who was just as comfortable kicking ass out on the court/field as I was talking about sci-fi with the chess club. Most of my friends were in band or Thespians, but with one or two exceptions, I can't think of anyone I didn't get along with. I'll most likely be going to my 10 year reunion, which is coming up later this summer. Not because I want to relive my "glory days," or because I want to prove something... because I'm curious. shrug Sorry everyone else had such terrible experiences. __________________ "...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

07-20-2009, 12:23 AM	#24 (permalink)
DeathRowMarv Upright	I just successfully ignored my 30th with the same conviction that I used to ignore my 10th, 20th, and 25th. While Junior High was where most I received most of the grief in my school-going years, high school was just a lot of nothing. However, college was an absolute blast and I'd love to know what some of those people are doing right now.

07-20-2009, 08:18 AM	#25 (permalink)
yournamehere Invisible Location: tentative, at best	Good for you, CinnamonGirl! It' saddening to read that so many people on this board grew up so friendless. You know, at reunions you only visit people you grew up and went to school with; it's not actually being back in high school. Give it a try - you can always leave early if you don't have fun. Chances are pretty good that everyone you knew in high school has changed as much as you have since then. You might be surprised. I waited until my 30th to go to one, but that was because I lived 2,000 miles away; not because I didn't want to go. It was a lot of fun. Most of my good friends had moved away, like I had, but we all chose that year to go back. __________________ If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors: "If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too." It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

07-20-2009, 09:24 AM	#26 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I don't think it is an issue of being friendless. I had as many friends as the next guy. Now I have different friends and don't have an urge to be reunited with old ones. The first reunion was a waste of time and didn't sell me on going to any more of them. If CinnamonGirl has a good time (and lets hope she does) great. But I'll continue to avoid mine. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

07-20-2009, 09:32 AM	#27 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	I'm not sure if I'll be going to mine. I hated every minute of high school and actually had a harder time with it academically than getting my bachelor's. I was a different person then. I was extremely insecure and self-conscious to the point of it being a disorder. I grew up with a few friends who unintentionally berated me constantly and made me feel worthless. I watched as all of my friends dated and partied and drank alcohol and did "cool shit" while I did nothing because of my insecurity. Now I'm a different person and I wish I could do it all over again like I am now. I will probably go but I don't know why -- I can see how fat and unsuccessful everyone is on Facebook. __________________ "A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert

07-20-2009, 10:32 AM	#29 (permalink)
roachboy Super Moderator Location: essex ma	high school seems like someone else's life. i found for a long time that i really didn't care either way about going or not going to a reunion. if following on some hellish scenario in an alternate reality i still lived in the same town, i probably would have gone. but as it turned out i would have had to make arrangements to attend. so i didn't. i'm still pretty close with one friend from high school and he lives closer so has gone to these things. when i get curious about this or that person, i ask him. a couple folk i lost track of long ago have bounced back to the surface via facebook and they just seem....o i dunno....like nice, regular folk. i don't know if i would or would not go to a reunion now. it isn't a question that occupies much of my attention. i've just thought about it more than i've thought about the matter in a long time. i still hate the town i grew up in. i still don't particularly care about reunions. __________________ a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear it make you sick. -kamau brathwaite

07-20-2009, 10:49 AM	#30 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	My 25th is this year. Perhaps it has already happened. No one has tried to contact me about it. I must conclude the lack of interest is mutual.

07-20-2009, 11:48 AM	#31 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	I was a geek at school I guess (I like comic books, I was in the top 10% of my class in most subjects) - but no one ever picked on me especially. It isnt an excuse for it, but most people are bullied because they are the people who are least able to stand up to it. People used to make fun of my weight at school - and if I had got upset about it it probably would have gone on more cos people want a reaction out of it, but if you just come back with "your mum didnt complain about my physique the another night mate, what a filthy slut..." or whatever people dont carry on. What I probably am guilty of - like a lot of people - is seeing people getting picked on and not really sticking up for people. I got in a couple of fights, and fought back... and then after that most people get to know you arent someone that they can just steal on or whatever. I remember in my first year two kids from the fifth year tried to take my lunch money - I swung at both of them, got my ass kicked a little, but they didnt think they were gonna take money from me again after that. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

07-20-2009, 11:53 AM	#32 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	Just rofl at his kid having a black belt in 4th grade. Gogo mcdojo! I liked high school for the most part. But I have no plans in seeing them again except maybe two or three people, but I don't need a reunion to see them as I'm still friends with them. I dont really get it, there's not much special about high school. I'd rather have a gradeschool reunion or a college one.

07-20-2009, 12:06 PM	#33 (permalink)
Sue Teufel Hunden's Freundin Location: Westminster, CO	Yeah, almost everyone at my school was either an asshole jock or a bunch of snobby bitches. I went to the richest public HS in Tampa Fl (at the time), and I really don't care to go back to any reunions, as I couldn't stand most of the people there. __________________ Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

07-20-2009, 12:57 PM	#34 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	You people must have went to some really fucking shitty highschools. Goddamn, there is so much resentment in this thread. Have all of you been walking targets? I was quiet. I was an immigrant. Not a FOB, but not too removed from that. My English wasn't that great. Scrawny (still am). Yet, I have managed to make acquaintances with many people in my classes, including many of my fellow Eastern Europeans. I've never been picked on. I have, but only verbally and only in jest. It wasn't done to hurt me emotionally. Just people shooting shit. I don't really understand what kind of a geek you have to be to attract that much attention. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

07-21-2009, 03:05 PM	#35 (permalink)
StinkyFinger Upright Location: Western New York, soon to be fifty first state!!!	Hey Crack, If they were'nt your freinds then, why do you suppose they want you to think they are your freinds now? Screw 'em. __________________ I am NOT prejudiced, I fucking hate everybody EQUALLY so don't go getting a big head about yourself there, dork vomit...

07-21-2009, 03:19 PM	#36 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	I wouldn't go to a HS reunion or even college. Too far to travel to meet people I'm not really involved with any more. HS was alright just don't know any of those people anymore. I didn't know anyone in college. I didn't have time, full time job and new born at home plus everyone was younger then me. Most conversations involved "will you buy us beer?" I'd travel far for a Navy reunion. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

07-21-2009, 03:31 PM	#37 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	Dippin, I know exactly what you were talking about. I moved from Calgary, Ab, Canada to Hilliard (Suburb of Columbus), Oh, USA. No one ever cared enough to ask about where I was from but as a requirement to graduating high school, I had to take American Government, History and pass a citizenship test. Although my history class was awesome, my government teacher preached that his rule in his class was finite and the citizenship was a joke (I learned most of what was on it from watching hockey games and there were people who failed it). There was no other history classes, the closest thing was a greek mythology class which oddly was an english class. Canadian Math apparently is different than their math so I had to take summer courses to "catch up," and the fact that I got 95+ in them didn't change their mind. I hung out with the outcasts, mostly because a guy used to always pick on me for being from Canada, like it was seriously different from the US. I still have really good friends there and I think that most of the people who pick on other people in high school are laughable, because those 4 years will be the best in their lives, which is laughable. I do not at all mean to put down the US educational system or people in the US, there are some really amazing people who went to that school, the Valedictorian chose to become a photographer not because Univerities threw money at him, but because life is precious and you can't waste time on not doing what you want. But I would never go, I don't talk to anyone in my graduating class. I would knock the guy who made fun of me, the fuck out, his ignorance pissed me off more than anything.

07-21-2009, 03:45 PM	#38 (permalink)
Rekna Junkie	I was a bit geeky in school, I had friends but they were all a bit geeky too. My 10 year high school reunion was last week and unfortunately I was not able to make it due to the cost to travel half way across the country. When I left high school I didn't particularly like many people in my class. However, I still wanted to go to my reunion and here is why. Since I left high school I have had numerous run-ins (usually at a bar) with people I used to dislike and got along fine with them. In fact many times I found that they had matured a great deal and were no longer idiots. People grow up, the people you knew in high school are not the same people by your 10 year and definitely not the same by your 20. On top of this, one should not hold onto anger like the letter posted above did. It is not healthy to be so angry about something. You don't need to forgive the people for what they did but staying angry does you no good. In fact, anger like this only affects one person and that is you, the people you are angry at don't even know you are angry at them... Thats my 2 cents.