FelixP

There are a few topics regarding the worst way to die, and I thought it would be interesting to find out what my fellow TFPers think the best way to die would be. I don't mean "surrounded by family and friends", I'm talking about the physical act itself.

Carbon Monoxide poisoning for sure. Once I was running a torch in a 4*3*3 room, and I started to get it. You just start to feel really tired and apathetic. I remember thinking "Hmm. I have carbon monoxide poisoning. I should stop the torch and get some fresh air." I didn't do anything until my boss came back from the store to ask me to help unload some shit. It's almost like you're watching a movie; you really don't care that you're slipping.

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Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

World's King

Overdoes of Prozak and Viagra...




While fucking ten Vietnamese hookers. (Girls or Boys)

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

telekinetic

I know you said 'no family and friends' type-stuff, but...I am a little bit envious of my paternal grandfather. He knows how he will die, and that it will be near-instant, painless, and in the relatively near future: He has a large inoperable brain aneurism (a bulge in a vessel caused by thinning walls). It will eventually burst, as likely as not in his sleep, and that will be that.

He's known about it for 9 months, more than long enough to make his peace with everyone, but it's not as if it is progressive, or deteriorating, and he's in perfectly good health except that at any moment he could die. He could have minutes or another couple years. I think that sort of certain uncertainty probably gives you a healthy attitude to appreciate your final days.

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twisted no more

dksuddeth

I remember my wife in ICU after her open heart surgery. They tested her pacemaker and to see if her heart could pace on its own. When they turned the pacemaker down, her heartrate hit 30 a minute. she said it was like falling asleep. just started getting black and she felt nothing. That's the best way. painless.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

noodle

I work for Hospice.
My ass better be doped out of my mind when declining. Or something instantaneous. And my SO knows what I want. However it happens, it better not drag out and there will be no chance that I will be vent-dependent or lingering.
CO poisoning leaves an opening for vegetative state as do most of the options.
Not an option for me... I've seen too much stuff doing what I do to let that happen and my Five Wishes is signed.

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Giant Hamburger

I want to be killed at night on the rooftops in the rain by a secret order of monks that have followed my wake of conspiracies for centuries and have trained their entire lives just for the opportunity to kill me.

I will not go easily.

The_Jazz

Shirtless but wearing jeans, holding a can of Schlitz, right after saying "hey, y'all, watch this..."

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Cynosure

Me, I'd rather a relatively quick and clean death by drowning or fire, than a slow, agonizing and lingering death by cancer, with my wife and/or children having to watch me wither away, and having to clean up my feces- and urine-stained body and bedclothes.

Seriously.

(Although, sad to say, the latter means of death is a lot more likely for me – and for everyone else here, really – than are the former.)

EDIT: Wait. I thought I was in the "Most horrible way to die" thread. Well, whichever...

ametc

I've overdosed on Ambien, OTC cold medicine, Theraflu, and Rx painkillers and at first it was a little scary because my heart was beating crazy fast and then my breathing got loud and heavy and I was like, "If I die, I'd rather not be alone." so I went to my mom and sat down beside her and she was freaking out and thought I was having an asthma attack. But, it didn't hurt.

At the hospital all I wanted to do was sleep while they tried to revive me and I didn't know what the heck was going on. They asked me how much medicine I took and why and I was just like, "I didn't feel good and I have school tomorrow.......I need to sleep... Night..." and I closed my eyes and I was soooo comfortable even though they kept pinching me and slapping my arms and face.


Overdosing on all that all over again would be a nice way to go. But, this time, I'd already know what's going on. And then eventually I wouldn't care and I'd be like, "haha you guys are crazy."



BUT.. bad thing about overdosing: My friend overdosed a few months ago and she was in an awkward position and she messed up her leg... so now she limps and wears a brace and she's gonna be wearing that brace and limping all her life. When I overdosed, my pulse was irregular and my heart got weak. But, I'm getting slightly better.




I've always wondered what it feels like to be instantly smooshed....

snowy

This is important. My family and my SO both know and respect my wishes. I do not want to be dependent on machines to maintain my life. That isn't living. I am an organ donor; I'd prefer that I die in such a way that my organs can be used.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

blahblah454

Were you purposely taking all those drugs?

I think that dying in a high speed chase with a beautiful topless female passenger would be pretty cool.

Zeraph

Drugged out of my mind or in battle...also drugged out of my mind!

thespian86

In a fight would be good, yes. To die fighting.

I will most likely die a recluse writer, in Scotland, with a black protege named Jamal who is the dog, for now at least. Sure, he'll be tested by the white-elitist teacher at his school who is simply trying to keep a brother down, but he'll rise above when, before I die, I pop up out of obscurity and academia-gossip and give a rousing reading of one of his best works. I will die a hero.

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ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
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flat5

Quietly in my sleep. Whenever.

inBOIL

Sniper bullet to the brain. That or smothered between the legs of a high-end callgirl.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Xerxys

Never crossed my mind, you see, I won't die. I'm a God.

FuglyStick

It's better to burn out than to fade away.
(My my, hey hey)

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AZIZ! LIGHT!

Plan9

(gives you 20 gauge to put in your mouth) Cobain'd!

...

Jerkity jerk-jerk!

Smells like a lot of ego masturbation in this thread, and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't contribute to the circle jerk.

I wanna go down fighting a thousand zombies with an AK47 and a backpack nuke with a corded trigger detonator.

...

Really?

I aim to die outdoors, maybe sitting under a tree with my descendants / family gathered around me.

Don't desire to die in the supersterile Listerine Ziploc hell that is a hospital or a "retirement home."

I wanna be outside in the open air with the sky above me and the earth below my brittle bones.

I want the last thing I touch to be something that a man could touch three thousand years ago.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Cheater

It's definitely different for everyone. I think you were asking what would be the least painful, but I have to relate to what Twistedmosaic said: My mom died of cancer, she knew she had less than six months and used that time to call her friends and say good bye, then after she saw all the grandchildren, she said it was time and went to sleep forever. My dad on the other hand, sat down to read his paper and just fell asleep in the chair. He wasn't sick, it was just his time.
So how do I want to go? Probably in my sleep, yea, nothing dramatic, just quiet and peaceful.

Plan9

And how is that different from every weekend already, Jazz? Oh, the death part. Gotcha.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

Jump reverse side-kick to the face by Bruce Lee after having a 7 hour threesome with Monica Bellucci and Bar Refaeli.

But seriously, I'm thinking it might be enabling to provide some potential suicidal internet surfer with the best ways to do it.

Plan9

Don't be silly. Said emo life-failures go to this peer-reviewed source to solve all their life-related problems.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

BogeyDope

In a fire.

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Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

Ratman

At the moment of orgasm. I want to experience coming and going at the same time.

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The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference.

"God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

Fremen

Best way to die?
A quick unexpected swipe to the head from a huge Grizzly bear's paw.
Then, my body eaten by whatever is hungry at the time.

Or, trying to win a pizza eating contest versus that one skinny Japanese champion.

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levite

Choice one: after 120 contented and healthy years, in my sleep, next to a satisfied 25-year-old wife.

Choice two: on a remote English moor, lashed by rain and thunder, wielding a broadsword against a horde of half-demon necromantic warriors, as a magnificent diversion to allow my comrades to save the world.


Either way would work for me....

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Punk.of.Ages

I want to die with a bang...

I want to create a big scene...

News worthy!

Spontaneous combustion would be fitting, I think.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

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CinnamonGirl

In a blaze of glory. Saving someone else's life while sacrificing my own. *nod* Definitely.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

ametc

I dunno anymore.. I have very little recollection of that night. Another reason why if you want to die... then make sure you die. For sure. There should be no ifs, and/or buts about it! Because if there are.. you're gonna come out fucked up!

---------- Post added at 02:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 AM ----------

Oooohh.. this sounds kinda fun.


I just hope that while I'm up in flames in front of millions of viewers... I don't shit my pants. >_<

mjby2

The best way to die is like former N.Y governor Nelson Rockefeller.

(He was with his young personal secretary - very personal.)

CharlieW

In your sleep, brain aneurism, no pain, no mess.

greytone

At this point in my life I would like to to die unexpectedly and painlessly. I really don't want to have a terminal illness for months. I may change my mind as I get older or maybe after I retire.

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I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing.
Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors"

squeeeb

i wanna die in my sleep like my grandfather. not screaming like the passengers in his car.

i've thought about it, and i have to say carbon monoxide poisoning, running my car in my garage, falling asleep.

or freezing to death. after a bit of discomfort, you get warm and sleepy. i like being warm and sleepy.

or maybe lukemia, the kind that hits you and you are dead in a week.

as for all you people saying burning or drowning, you are nuts. those are painfully shitty ways to go.

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onward to mayhem!

wooÐs

lol

I'd have to say a massive supply of pain killers followed by a massive supply of benzos. Assuming I have some sort of terminal illness or what not. End it all on a positive note.

Craven Morehead

One year ago tomorrow my step mother experienced exactly that. Within minutes she was gone, however her body lived for another day. Our fear was that her body would continue in a vegetative state. Fortunately for all, it did not. We (including her) knew it could happen at any time and we were somewhat prepared but in the end, no. It was terribly sad. My uncle died in his sleep three years ago. Peaceful for him but hell on my aunt who woke up to find him gone. It was so sudden, no one was prepared. We were all so shocked by his passing. My father in law died in hospice after being there for 16 days due to the ravages of cancer. We watched his body disappear. I do not believe he was in pain although he was unresponsive for much of his time there. It was hell for us and a relief when he passed. I don't really know if there is a good way. It may be easy on the deceased but terrible on the family. Or vice versa.

biznatch

Running a motorcycle into the Grand Canyon would be pretty badass. Or skydiving chute-less. I like the idea of a last quick, fun, fast fall before my death, just to make it fun. And I heard you get a heart attack before you hit the ground. Still, just in case, I'd try to land head first.

Maybe having the blood sucked out of me by the hottest vampire chick ever would be cool. Oh but that would mean becoming a vampire after dying. I guess that's fairly awesome.

Otherwise, I always loved the idea of post apocalyptic survival, and heroic death. Maybe a zombie scenario, or something. I'd have to be wielding a katana, dual handguns, wearing camo, and a trusty AK hanging on my back.

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777

Being in the armed forces (Army, Marines, it's all good), and saving your buddies by smothering a grenade during wartime. Not only will you died a hero (everyone who has done this died), but you're gurenteed to win the Medal of Honor.

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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

reconmike

I want to die in my sleep like my grandmother, not screaming like the passengers in her car.

They say bleeding out is a quiet and painless way to go, you just fall asleep.

I have looked the reaper in the eye on a few occasions and plan on looking him in the eye again and telling him, fuck you.

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Where is Darwin when ya need him?

squeeeb

is an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident too obvious?

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onward to mayhem!

Slims

...In a blaze of glory. If I have to go, I want it to be dramatic.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence