SofaKingA

Last night I got so wasted at a club and passed out, they had to call an ambulance and had to empty out the club. Luckily it was closing in 15 min anyway. Yeah, I can't wait to see the hospital bill...

Can you top that??

Willravel

When I was 17 I went on a cruise with friends down to Encinada. On said cruise I tried to.... dance. What follows is the best description I can muster:
1) Failed imitation: I would try to imitate the moves of other people who were dancing, but it was more like a monkey imitating a professor teaching advanced trig.
2) Failed imitation 2: A Backstreet Boys (yeah, I don't remember them either) song came on and I remembered the music video. I tried to imitate that video, not realizing that trying to imitate choreographed steps that I've seen maybe once may have been a mistake.
3) It was no more than 4 minutes before a lot of people were looking at me:
Yep
D) When I get nervous I yawn and fart: Fin.

Cynthetiq

I imagine this but ending with her farting.



I'm rarely embarrased, that situation of being hauled out by the ambulance would make me ashamed more than embarrased.

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smoore

Wow, I can't. I shit myself in public once, that's about my biggest one.

Ambulance? Were your friends not able to just hustle you out? I'm assuming something more than booze must have been involved.

Sucks man.

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smoore

Tully Mars

I was working parole and probation for the state and running a sideline construction company on weekends and evenings. One night after installing a Dish Network sat. system for a customer, in the driving Oregon coast rain. My employe and I stopped by a local pub to watch Monday Night Football, or at least the last 1/4 of it. We go in and sit down at the bar, order a beer and watch as the TV goes from commercial to WWF. WWF? WTF! I asked the girl tending bar if anyone in here is actually watching WWF? "Yeah, of course. That large group of guys over there come in every night it's on." I glance over and see about five men who look as much like tree trunks as men. I sigh and down my beer. The bartender informs us that "Annie's, next door has the game on." Annie's is the only strip club in a very small town. A very small town that I work as a parole officer in. My friend/employee tells me "let's go, by the time we get home the game will be over." I told him I can't be seen in a strip club, just wouldn't go over well." Now he and I had been to many strip clubs in Portland. Used to have season ticket to the Trailblazers. We'd stop in before or after the game and grab some food, drink some beer and throw a few dollars at the dancers. I don't have an issue with naked women, honestly there some of my favorite kinds of women. He tells me "whats the worst that could happen? the bar and TV or on the complete other side of the place, any one sees you tell them the truth- you just stopped by to see the game."

What's the worst that could happen? Well, we're in the bar for about 5 mins and I notice two guys starting to argue over something. I see one of them make a beeline to his truck and run back in. He immediately runs over to his debate partner and stabs him in the chest. My friend tells me "let's get out of here." I tell him "I can't leave I'm an officer of the court and I just witnessed a crime." So he leaves, taking my truck with him and tells me to call him when I need a ride. Two mins. later and the place has 10 of the 15 cops that work in the town, covering every exit and asking everyone if they saw anything. I step up and explain "yep, I saw it" Of course I know all the cops and they all know me. Not that comfortable, many of these guys look at going into a place like this a mortal sin. It takes 4 1/2 hours to complete all the interview and start releasing people. I call my friend and he doesn't answer. I call a cab, no luck. Last chance.. I call my wife. She wants to know where the hell I've been and why I haven't called? "Well, I'm at Annie's and some one got stabbed..." Annie's?!? Why didn't you call? Well they don't let witnesses call anyone. "So you weren't called there for work, you were already in there?" "Yep." She came got me, but it was a quiet ride home. I don't think she ever did believe me that it was my one and only visit to said establishment.

For weeks at work I got "So, stopping by Annie's on the way home?" "Have lunch at Annie today?" "Any new dancers at Annie's? "Any nude dancers at Annie's?" This went on for months.

I think worse then all that was going to the Grand Jury and testifying. The DA that pulled the case was a hard core Baptist. She didn't even believe in dancing fully clothed.

Maybe not my most embarrassing moment, but it's up there.

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Lucifer

you mean like this:

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- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

Willravel

Yes, it's clser to David Borionez than the little kicks, still, not quite doing me justice. I'll have to see if I can find that dying dolphin video. Then a video featuring farts.

SofaKingA

No, there was nothing else involved just alcohol. It was most likely due to the fact that I hadn't ate much that day. Lesson learned I suppose. I'll probably take a break from the nightlife...

Tully Mars, thats a good story. I dont know how anyone could just leave if they saw another person get stabbed. Although, I've never been in that situation so it would be hard to say exactly what I would do.

Martian

For the record, when someone asks you this question know that whatever it is you're considering will not end well. This is a question that angers the karma gods.

And you thought it only happened in sit-coms.

I, unfortunately, have no tale so amusing as Tully's.

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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

blahblah454

Wow, just wow. Talk about something innocent getting blown to high hell! I feel for you man, thats just plain old harsh.

Tully Mars

Well, I was also an EMT, so officer of the court or not... leaving was never an option. But in a small town where everyone knows your name and business a strip club empties quickly at the first sign of trouble. Kind of looked like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

What people do or don't do in any given situation usually depends on their back ground, IMO. I spent 4 years on a Navy ship's fire dept. AKA the "flying Squad." After that I worked in Law Enforcement. You find yourself stopping at every broke down car, acccident, kids kite stuck in a tree etc..

I used to go every year with my brother and his co-worker on a Reno trip. One year an ice storm hit and I ended up driving to Salem from the north Oregon coast to pick him up. He couldn't get his car out of the driveway. So I drove my 4X4 an hour south to pick him up, didn't want to end up in Reno without him and with his friends- they were and are nuts. On the drive from Salem to the Portland airport we come upon an accident. A bad accident. I keep a first responders trauma bag in my truck. I tell him "I have to stop." "Really you have to?" "Actually yeah, it's kind of a law, not mention ethics thing." So I stop, do some triage, decide who to work on first- taking BP, pulse, checking pupils etc... and I hear sirens. Good, maybe I can still catch this flight. Within a few minutes there at least three rescue units and a couple state cruisers on scene. I explain to the first guy out of the first unit my take on the situation, what I did and to whom and all my ID info. "So, I'm good to go?" "Yes, I have the scene." "Great I'm outta here."

So, back on I-5 and within 20 mins we're at the airport with time to spare. I tell my brother I have to go wash up. I have blood up to each elbow. Fly into the restroom, throw that shirt away (I liked that shirt too, pissed me off to toss it), wash up and I'm good to go. A hour or so later and we're sitting on the plane and on our way. It dawns on me my brother hasn't said a word in well over two hours. I asked "So, ready to go win some cash." He turns and looks at me and says "How the hell do you do that?" "Do what?" "Back there, there was blood everywhere! I thought I was going to throw up, Jesus, God that was just awful." "I don't know never really thought about it."

He was quiet and white the whole flight. I remember thinking- it was bad but not really bad. He'd really loose it at a bad scene. But he's spent his whole life either working in or owning restaurants. What you do... depends on what you do, IMO.


Sorry about the thread jack. Now back to your regularly scheduled embarrassments.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

little_tippler

One of my most embarrassing moments involved getting between my ex and a bouncer at a club we were leaving who decided to pummel him. I was the girl screaming outside the disco for him to stop...worst thing is he wouldn't he just kept getting more worked up about it, and so the police had to come and cuff him so he would calm down. Luckily they let us go after that. Of course the bouncer disappeared before the police came around. I looked pretty stupid and almost got bashed too. Never again.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Lasereth

I won a pocket knife at the local fair in third grade. I thought it would be a good idea to bring it to school for show and tell. Me and my brother reasoned that if you didn't open it up, it wasn't really a knife so it's ok!! So I got up in front of the class proudly displaying my 3" pocket knife I won at the fair and the teacher went apeshit. I think my brother brought his knife that he won also to school the same day (we're twins) so we both got in trouble. Thankfully back in the early 1990s the weapons paranoia wasn't a big deal so all that happened was the knife went home with us in a little paper bag that the school bus driver gave to our parents when we got off the bus.

Even 15 years later that still remains one of the most embarassing moments of my life (being called out in front of the class about bringing a weapon to school).

RangerJoe

Hmmm Well, most recently...

I'm kind of seeing a guy at work. I guess you would call him more of a booty call than anything else. Well, one night at work, I was trying to convince him to come over and had been texting with him all night. At lunch I sent him a text that said something about how I would massage him when he came over, preferably with my mouth, and preferably with his penis in my mouth. I get a text back saying, "Colten wants one, too." Apparently, he went to lunch with Colten, the maintenance guy, and Colten had been playing with his phone when I had sent the text.

Yeah, I freaked. Colten still bugs me about it. Will come up to me or send me a random text about how his back hurts.

allaboutmusic

RJ: allaboutmusic wants one too.

lotsofmagnets

that´s a bit unfair on his part to let someone else play w/ his phone while this sort of communication was in progress. as faur as embarassing moments i´m not sure if this counts as it´s not your fault.

also if the colten guy isn´t all that cute a few choice words and i suspect he won´t be bugging you at all

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?