write your own obituary. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

ring · 12-08-2007, 03:58 PM

I did a quick search to see if this has been done before, if it has let me know.

I have seen this idea in a few different places, once in a writing class I took.

It can be an enlightening experience.

Have fun with it, I am working on mine at the moment, yes I will share
it eventually.

jorgelito · 12-08-2007, 04:42 PM

jorgelito, loving husband of both Jessica Alba and Beyoncee in a groundbreaking precedent for legalization of two wives, has passed away peacefully in his sleep at the age of 120. Devoted father of 12 children: 3 sons and 3 daughters by each wife, and grandfather of 36, and great-grandfather of 48, jorgelito had a passion, lust, and zeal for life unrivaled. Known for brokering the historical Peace Initiative for which he won the Nobel Peace Prize, bringing the Middle East together and the Nuclear-Free Holy Lands Compact, jorgelito also engineered the famous Free Market Crossroads system, turning former war zones in to free market and enterprise areas such as the Golan Heights, Kashmir, and others, bringing economic booms to former flash point zones.
Prior to his service to the US as a diplomat, jorgelito was a Senator most notably known for eradicating detrimental affirmative action policies and raising the merit achievements by previously underserved minority groups. During his term, California went from 48th to 1st in academic achievement, college entrance, and graduation. The Golden State has experienced 35 straight years of moderate growth and low unemployment.

Jorgelito was also a man of controversy. The Jorgelito Bill of 2010, legalized homosexual marriage under the Blessed Civil Union Act as well as adoption by gay couples. Experts cite this act as the impetus for reducing the amount of orphans, children in foster-care systems, and stabilization of US population. Additionally, the DK-Jorgelito Bill once and for all settled the matter of Right to Arms at the Supreme Court level. The Consitution guarantees the right of all Americans to own and bear arms without impediment, but the individual states could decide what types of arms could be available with the approval of the Department of Defense. Restrictions on gun ownership were reduced but a compromise was reached with mandatory firearms safety courses required to obtain a license and required every 3 years. His last controversial piece of legislation was the Immigration Reform Act of 2012. His liberalized immigration process reduced illegal aliens, crime, created a more competitive job market and stabilized the economy.

Jorgelito was also a Renaissance man winning 3 Grammies for Best Jazz Composition. An amateur photographer, his work has been on tour of the major museums and galleries around the world.

But his major achievement which started everything was his breakthrough discovery of alternative energy solving the energy crisis, resolving conflicts, and reversing the global warming trend of earlier years. One of Jorgelito's protege's, an immigrant who would have been aborted if abortion was still legal but was adopted by a gay couple in California who saved his life by shooting an armed robber in a attempted home invasion robbery and because there was no more affirmative action was able to go to college; invented a combustible fuel that could be refined into jet-grade fuel. The result was a fuel derived from garbage that produced zero emissions and pollutions at a very low cost. With this discovery, the oil fascists of the Middle East, Venezuela et al found their oil worthless and regimes toppled. Islamo extremists no longer had any bogey man to blame for their troubles and moderates took over.

As a conservative, Jorgelito was a firm believer in meritocracy, and hard work, thus, left nothing of his vast fortune for his many would-be heirs, save a minute amount for funeral expenses. An ardent conservationist and environmentalist, he left $1.5 billion to various environmental groups but most to an organization that develops environmentally sound businesses. He left a further $5 billion in scholarships for colleges and the remaining $20 billion to a charitable trust.

Jorgelito certainly made his mark on the world and will be sorely missed.

dlish · 12-08-2007, 05:04 PM

jorgelito... sounds like a news flash

and in other news today...

ItWasMe · 12-08-2007, 07:15 PM

I'll think about mine.

I think it would be more fun to write one for another member, but that could prove to be a bad idea if it reverted to flaming.

MSD · 12-08-2007, 07:46 PM

MSD was killed in a tragic nose-picking incident today after a low-speed collision caused his airbag to deploy, driving his index finger deep into his frontal lobe. He is survived by his mother and brother. Donations may be made in his name to the "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to do that?" foundation.

JustJess · 12-08-2007, 07:48 PM

Jorgelito, baby, leave Roe vs. Wade alone, and I'll vote for you.

albania · 12-08-2007, 07:50 PM

Now, I'm planning on living forever, so perhaps there's no sense in writing an obituary but just in case this is what it might say:

Albania was a man of few words. That is all.

Jetée · 12-08-2007, 08:29 PM

"No, not the pandas bear again." He was 19. It was a sudden flare. Here and there, everywhere, he rarely changed his underwear, could you blame him, given his state of affairs? All he really wanted was a thought to care, perhaps a prayer for a catalyst to ensnare him, dare him, otherwise prepare him for a road elsewhere. Now he lives on by others stating, "Such a shame to lose a young man so refined and debonair." "Oh", they declared, "and who could have known his head of hair would have been his ultimate disrepair!" No fanfare. This is but a fictional nightmare. A reclused reminder to bear in mind that no matter the given affair, take care to not err, dream not to be a millionaire, and keep the air of a solitaire that despairs familiar scares in the instance you are not there to protect your share. The bear scared. I had little inkling, quite rare, that I'd have gone on a tangential square to concoct such an elaborate, hare-brained Obituaire.

Fremen · 12-08-2007, 08:51 PM

Fremen, friend of pants everywhere;
They did him in...

Willravel · 12-08-2007, 08:52 PM

Dr. Willravel Reginald "Snapdragon" Abercrombie the Third was killed yesterday driving the first ever hydrogen/electric hybrid zeppelin into a pond. He is survived by 12 meerkats: Amos, Fredrick, Marty, Tink, Phil, Radar (after the Mash character), Heyyou, Ford, Faust, Ovaltine, Edward, and Willravel Jr. While each of them were in the explosion, they were stored in the black box/"meerkat student union". Willravel was known for his flatulent understanding of endocrinology, his love of spheres, and the ability to guess people's phone numbers just by smelling their hair. In his last days, he had started the Atkins diet and is quoted saying: "I'd shag Queen Latifa for a peanutbutter n jelly sawwish*!" His final wishes were to be frozen and shot out of a cannon at his enemies: Ansel Adams and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's pet cat, Snuggles. Snuggle's eulogy will be at 7:00PM. Cake, Fancy Feast and fellowship will follow.

*Willravel was incapable of making an "m" sound due to an accidental explosion while giving a collagen injection on Paris Hilton, on a bet from Keifer Southerland.

Charlatan · 12-08-2007, 09:10 PM

"Now back to our regularly scheduled program"

BadNick · 12-08-2007, 10:17 PM

BadNick to some, but still a Good Nick to most who knew him. He was a nice man, his family and friends loved him. Be careful, he said if it's possible he's coming back to mess with us.

Ustwo · 12-08-2007, 11:49 PM

Don't laugh.

You are next.

The_Jazz · 12-09-2007, 05:18 AM

The_Jazz died and the world rejoiced, free of the oppressive bad puns, analogies and misremember movie lines that oppressed us all.

Halx · 12-09-2007, 05:25 AM

an excerpt from mine: "...The password to the website he runs will forever be lost..."

ngdawg · 12-09-2007, 11:16 AM

Ngdawg, the oldest contibuting member of MILFs International, died yesterday at the age of 97. Death was attributed to a blow on the head after falling during vertical sex.
Ng made her mark as a well-respected avant garde photographer and writer during the Freelance Movement of 2010 with over 340,000,000 works of art floating about the world wide web.
She leaves behind her son, Dan R., owner and CEO of several corporations and her daughter, Catherine R, the internationally known photojournalist, as well as a legion of lovers and friends.
Friends and relatives may visit and pay their respects on Thursday at ngfinallykickedthebucket.org. In lieu of emails, the family requests that you put comments in their blog, MomRocked.

albania · 12-09-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetée

"No, not the pandas bear again." He was 19. It was a sudden flare. Here and there, everywhere, he rarely changed his underwear, could you blame him, given his state of affairs? All he really wanted was a thought to care, perhaps a prayer for a catalyst to ensnare him, dare him, otherwise prepare him for a road elsewhere. Now he lives on by others stating, "Such a shame to lose a young man so refined and debonair." "Oh", they declared, "and who could have known his head of hair would have been his ultimate disrepair!" No fanfare. This is but a fictional nightmare. A reclused reminder to bear in mind that no matter the given affair, take care to not err, dream not to be a millionaire, and keep the air of a solitaire that despairs familiar scares in the instance you are not there to protect your share. The bear scared. I had little inkling, quite rare, that I'd have gone on a tangential square to concoct such an elaborate, hare-brained Obituaire.

You certainly took that and ran with it... pretty tilted

.

clavus · 12-09-2007, 10:32 PM

Clavus kept his knives sharp.

JustJess · 12-10-2007, 03:37 AM

JustJess just died just as she was beginning to find justice in the world for the justly named Jilted Jousters. Just contributions in her name may be made just at one place - Jess' Joust of Justice.

or

JustJess just died.

12-08-2007, 03:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	write your own obituary. I did a quick search to see if this has been done before, if it has let me know. I have seen this idea in a few different places, once in a writing class I took. It can be an enlightening experience. Have fun with it, I am working on mine at the moment, yes I will share it eventually.

12-08-2007, 05:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	jorgelito... sounds like a news flash and in other news today... __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

12-08-2007, 07:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I'll think about mine. I think it would be more fun to write one for another member, but that could prove to be a bad idea if it reverted to flaming. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

12-08-2007, 07:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Jorgelito, baby, leave Roe vs. Wade alone, and I'll vote for you. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

12-08-2007, 08:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	"No, not the pandas bear again." He was 19. It was a sudden flare. Here and there, everywhere, he rarely changed his underwear, could you blame him, given his state of affairs? All he really wanted was a thought to care, perhaps a prayer for a catalyst to ensnare him, dare him, otherwise prepare him for a road elsewhere. Now he lives on by others stating, "Such a shame to lose a young man so refined and debonair." "Oh", they declared, "and who could have known his head of hair would have been his ultimate disrepair!" No fanfare. This is but a fictional nightmare. A reclused reminder to bear in mind that no matter the given affair, take care to not err, dream not to be a millionaire, and keep the air of a solitaire that despairs familiar scares in the instance you are not there to protect your share. The bear scared. I had little inkling, quite rare, that I'd have gone on a tangential square to concoct such an elaborate, hare-brained Obituaire. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

12-08-2007, 04:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
jorgelito All important elusive independent swing voter... Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia	jorgelito, loving husband of both Jessica Alba and Beyoncee in a groundbreaking precedent for legalization of two wives, has passed away peacefully in his sleep at the age of 120. Devoted father of 12 children: 3 sons and 3 daughters by each wife, and grandfather of 36, and great-grandfather of 48, jorgelito had a passion, lust, and zeal for life unrivaled. Known for brokering the historical Peace Initiative for which he won the Nobel Peace Prize, bringing the Middle East together and the Nuclear-Free Holy Lands Compact, jorgelito also engineered the famous Free Market Crossroads system, turning former war zones in to free market and enterprise areas such as the Golan Heights, Kashmir, and others, bringing economic booms to former flash point zones. Prior to his service to the US as a diplomat, jorgelito was a Senator most notably known for eradicating detrimental affirmative action policies and raising the merit achievements by previously underserved minority groups. During his term, California went from 48th to 1st in academic achievement, college entrance, and graduation. The Golden State has experienced 35 straight years of moderate growth and low unemployment. Jorgelito was also a man of controversy. The Jorgelito Bill of 2010, legalized homosexual marriage under the Blessed Civil Union Act as well as adoption by gay couples. Experts cite this act as the impetus for reducing the amount of orphans, children in foster-care systems, and stabilization of US population. Additionally, the DK-Jorgelito Bill once and for all settled the matter of Right to Arms at the Supreme Court level. The Consitution guarantees the right of all Americans to own and bear arms without impediment, but the individual states could decide what types of arms could be available with the approval of the Department of Defense. Restrictions on gun ownership were reduced but a compromise was reached with mandatory firearms safety courses required to obtain a license and required every 3 years. His last controversial piece of legislation was the Immigration Reform Act of 2012. His liberalized immigration process reduced illegal aliens, crime, created a more competitive job market and stabilized the economy. Jorgelito was also a Renaissance man winning 3 Grammies for Best Jazz Composition. An amateur photographer, his work has been on tour of the major museums and galleries around the world. But his major achievement which started everything was his breakthrough discovery of alternative energy solving the energy crisis, resolving conflicts, and reversing the global warming trend of earlier years. One of Jorgelito's protege's, an immigrant who would have been aborted if abortion was still legal but was adopted by a gay couple in California who saved his life by shooting an armed robber in a attempted home invasion robbery and because there was no more affirmative action was able to go to college; invented a combustible fuel that could be refined into jet-grade fuel. The result was a fuel derived from garbage that produced zero emissions and pollutions at a very low cost. With this discovery, the oil fascists of the Middle East, Venezuela et al found their oil worthless and regimes toppled. Islamo extremists no longer had any bogey man to blame for their troubles and moderates took over. As a conservative, Jorgelito was a firm believer in meritocracy, and hard work, thus, left nothing of his vast fortune for his many would-be heirs, save a minute amount for funeral expenses. An ardent conservationist and environmentalist, he left $1.5 billion to various environmental groups but most to an organization that develops environmentally sound businesses. He left a further $5 billion in scholarships for colleges and the remaining $20 billion to a charitable trust. Jorgelito certainly made his mark on the world and will be sorely missed.

12-08-2007, 07:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	MSD was killed in a tragic nose-picking incident today after a low-speed collision caused his airbag to deploy, driving his index finger deep into his frontal lobe. He is survived by his mother and brother. Donations may be made in his name to the "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to do that?" foundation.

12-08-2007, 07:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
albania Psycho	Now, I'm planning on living forever, so perhaps there's no sense in writing an obituary but just in case this is what it might say: Albania was a man of few words. That is all.

12-08-2007, 08:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Fremen, friend of pants everywhere; They did him in... __________________ Google

12-08-2007, 08:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Dr. Willravel Reginald "Snapdragon" Abercrombie the Third was killed yesterday driving the first ever hydrogen/electric hybrid zeppelin into a pond. He is survived by 12 meerkats: Amos, Fredrick, Marty, Tink, Phil, Radar (after the Mash character), Heyyou, Ford, Faust, Ovaltine, Edward, and Willravel Jr. While each of them were in the explosion, they were stored in the black box/"meerkat student union". Willravel was known for his flatulent understanding of endocrinology, his love of spheres, and the ability to guess people's phone numbers just by smelling their hair. In his last days, he had started the Atkins diet and is quoted saying: "I'd shag Queen Latifa for a peanutbutter n jelly sawwish!" His final wishes were to be frozen and shot out of a cannon at his enemies: Ansel Adams and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's pet cat, Snuggles. Snuggle's eulogy will be at 7:00PM. Cake, Fancy Feast and fellowship will follow. Willravel was incapable of making an "m" sound due to an accidental explosion while giving a collagen injection on Paris Hilton, on a bet from Keifer Southerland.

12-08-2007, 09:10 PM	#11 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	"Now back to our regularly scheduled program" __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

12-08-2007, 10:17 PM	#12 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	BadNick to some, but still a Good Nick to most who knew him. He was a nice man, his family and friends loved him. Be careful, he said if it's possible he's coming back to mess with us.

12-08-2007, 11:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	Don't laugh. You are next. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

12-09-2007, 05:18 AM	#14 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	The_Jazz died and the world rejoiced, free of the oppressive bad puns, analogies and misremember movie lines that oppressed us all. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

12-09-2007, 05:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	an excerpt from mine: "...The password to the website he runs will forever be lost..." __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

12-09-2007, 10:32 PM	#18 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	Clavus kept his knives sharp. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

12-09-2007, 11:16 AM	#16 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Ngdawg, the oldest contibuting member of MILFs International, died yesterday at the age of 97. Death was attributed to a blow on the head after falling during vertical sex. Ng made her mark as a well-respected avant garde photographer and writer during the Freelance Movement of 2010 with over 340,000,000 works of art floating about the world wide web. She leaves behind her son, Dan R., owner and CEO of several corporations and her daughter, Catherine R, the internationally known photojournalist, as well as a legion of lovers and friends. Friends and relatives may visit and pay their respects on Thursday at ngfinallykickedthebucket.org. In lieu of emails, the family requests that you put comments in their blog, MomRocked.

12-10-2007, 03:37 AM	#19 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	JustJess just died just as she was beginning to find justice in the world for the justly named Jilted Jousters. Just contributions in her name may be made just at one place - Jess' Joust of Justice. or JustJess just died. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.