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Dr. Willravel Reginald "Snapdragon" Abercrombie the Third was killed yesterday driving the first ever hydrogen/electric hybrid zeppelin into a pond. He is survived by 12 meerkats: Amos, Fredrick, Marty, Tink, Phil, Radar (after the Mash character), Heyyou, Ford, Faust, Ovaltine, Edward, and Willravel Jr. While each of them were in the explosion, they were stored in the black box/"meerkat student union". Willravel was known for his flatulent understanding of endocrinology, his love of spheres, and the ability to guess people's phone numbers just by smelling their hair. In his last days, he had started the Atkins diet and is quoted saying: "I'd shag Queen Latifa for a peanutbutter n jelly sawwish*!" His final wishes were to be frozen and shot out of a cannon at his enemies: Ansel Adams and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's pet cat, Snuggles. Snuggle's eulogy will be at 7:00PM. Cake, Fancy Feast and fellowship will follow.
*Willravel was incapable of making an "m" sound due to an accidental explosion while giving a collagen injection on Paris Hilton, on a bet from Keifer Southerland.
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