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Old 07-18-2007, 11:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Crabby old people get me upset

So there I was, waiting in line at Barnes & Noble to buy some magazines and this lady in front of me starts ranting about how the music they're playing is just so disgusting and it's not real jazz and yadda yadda, and I'm thinking to myself, "they're playing John Coltrane, one of the greatest Jazz musicians of the mid 20th century who's up there with Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, and Felonious Monk. Does this old crab even know what jazz music is?"

Even the lady behind the counter was surprised at her rant, though I think she was more surprised at me for realizing that it was John Coltrane. Come to think of it, I am too. I was just taking a wild shot. It could've been Wynton Marsalis for all I knew.

That's my rant of the afternoon. How was your day?
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Old 07-18-2007, 12:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I love Coltrane, and that old woman is a coot. Even on a bad day, Coltrane was easily one of the best jazz musicians of all time. She was probably mad because they weren't playing Sinatra for the millionth time.
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Old 07-18-2007, 12:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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My opinion/taste: Coltrane is up there with the likes of Beethoven

It's not just crabby old people who say things like that, though I guess many would fall into that group. I know plenty of people a lot younger than me who listen only to "country" and mostly the top 40 country playlist, and anything out of that category is crap to them. My conclusion: most people are very narrow minded.

My day: I'm pissed since many Salad Works places seem to have dropped Green Goddess dressing ...fortunately the SW I had at lunch today was one of the rare ones that still have it.
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Old 07-18-2007, 12:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Coltrane can be a tad inaccessible for people who think Lawrence Welk is music.

(Also, it's Thelonious Monk. Although Felonious Monk would be a great name for a gansta rap group.)
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
I love Coltrane, and that old woman is a coot. Even on a bad day, Coltrane was easily one of the best jazz musicians of all time. She was probably mad because they weren't playing Sinatra for the millionth time.
Funny you mention that because that's exactly what she was griping about. "Sinatra is real jazz, I don't know what this crap is." Her exact words.

Felonious Monk, haha.....I must've been thinking of my old Yahoo! account. I should see if I can still use that screenname.
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Last week I was in my car waiting to turn left out of a Gas station. An older gentleman's car enters from the street and stops beside me. The driver rolls down his window and then berates me for exiting through the entrance way.

I calmly point out to him that the Station's sole other entrance has a big sign stating "NO LEFT TURNS", and that this entrance is in fact, a two-way.

So he then goes off about how he's lived here for 35 years and he damn well knows his entrances and exits and there's no sign that he's ever seen etc...

Duly Aggravated, I repeat myself about the sign and pull away.

I pass by that station every day to and from work, and every day there are cars going both in and out of that entrance and the big "No left turn" sign at the other one gleams quietly in the sunlight.
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuasiMondo
Funny you mention that because that's exactly what she was griping about. "Sinatra is real jazz, I don't know what this crap is." Her exact words.
I knew it! I can't tell you how many art house, coffee shop patrons consider Sinatra to be the epitome of jazz. Don't get me wrong, he had incredible presence, and a great voice, but he wasn't an innovator or much of a composer. If you put Old Blue Eyes next to Miles "I'm going to rape your soul with my trumpet, and you'll come back wanting more" Davis, it's no contest at all. Sinatra was an entertainer. Coltrane, Davis, et all were musicians and innovators.
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Actually, Louis Armstrong and Cab Calloway hated Coltrane and his contemporaries, too. They called it "Chinese music." Maybe she really liked swing or Dixieland.

There's no snob like a jazz snob.
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warrrreagl
Actually, Louis Armstrong and Cab Calloway hated Coltrane and his contemporaries, too. They called it "Chinese music." Maybe she really liked swing or Dixieland.

There's no snob like a jazz snob.
Maybe Armstrong was hungry for some Chinese food?
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I usually am very humble and respectful to old folks but I nearly swore at one today. I needed knickers, went to this really busy cheapo shop in Uk 'Primark' -it's like a market - everything's messy and there's no customer service at all, things are just slung everywhere.

So, I am walking to the changing room because I saw some nice dresses - picked a few up because the sizes are all over the place and wasn't sure if my rather big chest would fit into which size and I'm on my lunch break so I'm rushing, as I pass the men's department I didn't notice but my pile of crap hits some jumpers and they fall to the floor...'hey you!' this wee old man shouts and then he mutters some jibber jabber at me underneath his breath to his wife and to me and gives me a look of death.

I picked the bloody jumpers up but he just really irked me, I mean, fair enough to point it out,I don't usually make a mess but I was stressed - I hate it in there! But he was so f**king rude and I hate being insulted underneath people's breath, I felt so looked down on. Arrrg! Twat. Nobody else gives a s**t in there and it was just like being at school. I am 26 for god's sake. Piss off grumble man.

Old people who grumble: grumpifying
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
Maybe Armstrong was hungry for some Chinese food?
Did I hear a rimshot?
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Old 07-18-2007, 04:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Oh yeah.
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Old 07-19-2007, 05:50 AM   #13 (permalink)
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with the prominent word "old" in this thread, I'll mention a quote by Coltrane:

“I’ve found you’ve got to look back at the old things and see them in a new light.”
— John Coltrane, 1960
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Old 07-19-2007, 06:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Armstrong's comment was in the mid fourties and had nothing to do with Coltrane. He was talking about some of the people who were trying to play the new music called bebop. He was not refering to the masters of the music.

Coltrane covered a lot of area in his playing. Some of it is hard to absorb for many jazz fans. How 'bout that.
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Old 07-19-2007, 07:26 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Hey Will - apparently it wasn't a rimshot we heard after all. It was the collective blood vessels popping of humorless jazz afficionados.
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Old 07-19-2007, 07:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I'd be ranting too, because Jazz really sucks. There's a reason it's reserved for elevators and toilets.
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:04 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JinnKai
I'd be ranting too, because Jazz really sucks. There's a reason it's reserved for elevators and toilets.
The tripe you refer to is not jazz, and Coltrane, Armstrong, Gillespie, et al do not deserve to be compared to that codswallop. It is typically "soft jazz", and that is pretty yucky. Real jazz is awesome, but some people just can't handle the improvisation of jazz and that in some pieces they can't tell where the music is going. Oh well, their loss.
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:14 AM   #18 (permalink)
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The older I get the more I relate to crabby old people
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:20 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I'll freely admit to being crappy old people. Of course, I used to be crabby young people.

Other than elevator music, I tolerate most music just fine.
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:27 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JinnKai
I'd be ranting too, because Jazz really sucks. There's a reason it's reserved for elevators and toilets.
Kenny G is not the same as Coltrane. Kenny G is all that is wrong with music.
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Old 07-19-2007, 09:21 AM   #21 (permalink)
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People are different...... disagreements are bound to occur....crabby old & young people abound in this world, along with an army of pseudo-intellectuals.....get used to it. Thank God we're all NOT the same!!

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Old 07-19-2007, 09:34 AM   #22 (permalink)
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The stuff reserved for elevators and toilets is about as jazz as big winged, big mufflered Honda is a race car.
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Old 07-19-2007, 12:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
Kenny G is not the same as Coltrane. Kenny G is all that is wrong with music.
My all-time favorite analogy: "Kenny G is to jazz as sugar is to soup". I wish I remember what novel that came from.

edit: I decided to search Google for that phrase, just in case. All I got was Need an analogy about wine... - Tilted Forum Project. Over three years ago - at least I'm consistent...
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Old 07-19-2007, 12:50 PM   #24 (permalink)
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How dare you fools insult my personal HERO!?!?!?!?

BOW TO KENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Coltrane, Monk, Gillespie, Armstrong and *especially* Miles Davis ain't got NUTHIN on my Kenny!!!!
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Old 07-19-2007, 01:14 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
My all-time favorite analogy: "Kenny G is to jazz as sugar is to soup". I wish I remember what novel that came from.
Quote:
Originally Posted by French onion soup
* 1/4 cup butter
* 3 onions, thinly sliced
* 1 teaspoon white sugar
* 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
* 2 1/2 cups water
* 1/2 cup red wine
* 2 (10.5 ounce) cans condensed beef broth
* 1 French baguette
* 8 ounces sliced Swiss cheese
so... good as long as it's french onion?
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:54 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Yea but the soups not entirely made of sugar.... so I guess he is only partially french onion jazz.... errr......
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Old 07-20-2007, 03:29 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Hmm. Old people have piss-poor taste in music.

If they only realized how advanced pop music had become. We have 'because of you' and 'do you you wanna be my boyfriend'.

Sheet. Even forgetting about the melody, the new songs beat the old ones on lyrics alone. : >

Last edited by Nimetic; 07-20-2007 at 03:31 AM.. Reason: Spelling correction.
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Old 07-20-2007, 05:10 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilbert1234567
so... good as long as it's french onion?
Wow, I had no idea that Kenny G was French. And an onion. It's amazing what you can learn on the interwebs!

So, would Kenny G be better raw, sautéed, or batter-fried?
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Old 07-20-2007, 05:21 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flat5
Armstrong's comment was in the mid fourties and had nothing to do with Coltrane. He was talking about some of the people who were trying to play the new music called bebop. He was not refering to the masters of the music.

Coltrane covered a lot of area in his playing. Some of it is hard to absorb for many jazz fans. How 'bout that.
Thank you.
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Old 07-20-2007, 06:24 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
Kenny G is not the same as Coltrane. Kenny G is all that is wrong with music.
"You know when you pee in the toilet and it sounds like chipmunks commanding you to kill Kenny G?

...you can't make this stuff up!" - Emo Philips

My workplace plays this horrible smooth jazz station all day long - the kind of stuff that makes you yearn for soft rock or modern country - and Kenny G's shitty cover of James Blunt's shitty original "You're Beautiful" is one of the most-frequently played tracks. They even have an audio blurb of the aural asshole himself - "This is Kenny G. The first track on my new album is called "You're Beautiful". Let's listen, on smooth jazz v98.7."

It's worse than Hitler.
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Old 07-20-2007, 07:53 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Little known fact, Hitler loved smooth jazz. In fact, I'm pretty sure he started the whole smooth jazz movement--maybe even inventing the soprano sax itself although that's not been verified--before him and Eva spent their honeymoon 'covered in petrol, in a ditch...on fire.'

Of course, I could be dead wrong about all that.

I love cranky old people. They just don't take much shit from anyone and most aren't afraid to tell you exactly what they think about anything and everything.

I had an old man rant the other day about using a 'goddamn mechanized pencil' to fill out some paperwork. It had to be in pencil and I didn't have any conventional ones and he went on for---I don't know for how long, but it felt like forever about it. In the end, I just had to laugh because one day that's going to be me.
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Last edited by guthmund; 07-20-2007 at 07:58 AM..
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