PORN! From the inside (The "Comments" edition) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Halx · 03-22-2007, 05:05 PM

First, the story BEHIND the Porn article:

It was written over the course of 4 hours, very late at night, after having been up for 2 days already. It is totally true. It was a rush of inspiration in which the mental fatigue is evident toward the end. It has been "edited" 2 times. Once for grammar and then the second time to smooth out the colloquial references into more digestable wording. I don't think I've cut down the length at all, but I have written an alternative ending that I deleted 'cause it wasn't funny.

Anyways...

I thought it would be fun to quote a couple comments that have been posted about my story from all over the internet. Just to let you know... my responses are supposed to be in a good spirit. I hope nobody is offended by them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamjames

is it just me, or does this sound a little too well rehearsed? Doesn't sound like a guy remembering his last job, sounds more like a story, with tons of tiny little minute-by-minute details most people forget overtime but author's often put in stories.

I call BS.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ftljohnson

Yeah, do the shoots take place in the office where you built websites? They didn't where I worked.... Typically photographers have their own studios, and the pictures are sent digitally to the sites that use them. Basically all these porn sites just buy sets from the same photography studios... There's no set rules though in that business.. So, it's POSSIBLE it could have been run that way... but it certainly wouldn't be a major site.

Quote:

Originally Posted by apoc06

this guy has two front page articles in under a week? guy must be a good writer.

Apparently I have 3 now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GarySZ

Uh, no... did you read the article? He never referred to Violet as "fucking hot." In fact, his description of her began "She wasn't a knockout. She had a few crooked teeth and it was obvious she didn't exercise anywhere else besides the stripper pole."

The "fucking hot" girl referenced was the girl who answered the door when he went for his interview. There are no pictures (that I know of) to verify or dispute that particular claim.

I thank the readers who actually pay attention to the writing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by animeguru

I worked for a porn shop for 7+ years. I have to say that it is extremely dull after the first month. You just become so desensitized to everything that goes on... peeing, fisting, masturbation, girl/girl, gaping anal shots, etc.. After a while you don't even think of them as actual people anymore; they're just pixels on a screen.

As far as the yeast infections, if that's all he was privy to then he should count himself extremely lucky. Try touching up a pic of a girl having a herpes outbreak. In all my time working in porn, I saw many, many things that a man was never supposed to see. Fortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it), I worked in an office and very rarely met the models. We never did shoots at work, they were always done off site so at least I didn't have to experience a lot of the crap first hand.

One of the rare "discussion" responses from a professed professional who didn't claim that my article was bullshit based on his own experiences. Dude, where's your pride?

Quote:

Originally Posted by masteryan

yea i've been running matt's site for almost 2 years so i can shed *some* light on this.

first, this isn't a marketing ploy by us, although that's a great idea! lol
second, at least 1 in every 50 models will wanna fuck anyone in the room.

we have a lot of behind-the-scenes videos if u like seeing what really goes on at a porn shoot.
u can also read about many of matt's shoots in his very popular photo blog: (edited)

if u have any questions just let me know. - ryan

And Matt's current webmaster comes swooping in to grab some publicity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haroshia

Diggvertisement for a porn site...awesome to see this on the top 10. I get enough of this garbage in my inbox. Burying this article hard and deep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by popfrogs

A good story but I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on this one.

---

The 'leaving the girl tied up' and pizza guy scene was just a money shot for the whole story. Fiction.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dbarbour

Craigslist is going to be innundated with dudes looking for similar postings. "What? I can spank and beat a bound and tied girl? Wah-wah-wee-wah!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by boredandold

Please dont waste your time reading this, in summary Geeks Dream:

Gets IT job at porn shop, meets girl that plays dungeons and dragons, spanks her for fun.

obviously contrived

Quote:

Originally Posted by naeldayyan

I registered just to say that, as guy who has worked in the industry since 1998 as a developer, this story is total horse shit.
Someone has watched Swordfish too many times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bradbury

yep, entirely too well-rehearsed to be believable. has the whiff of a "penthouse forums" letter to it. but a great piece of viral publicity for their business.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilyag

This is probably a ploy by the owners of this porn site to drive more readers to the site. I don't buy that they'd let their webmaster screw one of the models and then tape it. Sounds like a fantasy that these guys are exploiting to get more subscribers.

In other words: SPAM!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by eizooo

well written but fictional

Quote:

Originally Posted by plaxx

Your argument may be persuasive to some, but face it, this guy writes up two (very well written) pieces of a story and just wants other to read it. If he were to say, "PORN: INSIDE" and u go to it, see a link for a that wants you to click on an AD to see the story, or even to sign up and read it .. that would be spam. Nowhere in the article does he say, "If you liked the story, sign up!".

So go on, read the story.. maybe even look around the board to see what it's about. If you like the content, sign up. No ones got a gun to your head.

Thank you for posting this. People react badly to sites that ask you to register, even if they dont force you to. I find it ironic that they complain on a site that also requires you to register.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rtothe2

This guy is definitely a duclod...

I have no idea what this is, but I'm quoting it anyways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilyag

The fact that this is written in the style of a tell-all book (with chapters), coupled with some ridiculous claims, incessant self-promotion, and not-so-subtle hints to the identity of the porn website in question makes me suspect very strongly that this is probably spam for the porn company (or some upcoming fictional book)

I thought Part I was obvious enough. Now, Part II gives us this gem:

"She was queefing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb.'"

Yeah, excuse me if I don't buy this for a second. However, as far as viral marketing campaigns go, you've gotta admit that this one is very impressive.

This guy just doesn't quit. It's kinda flattering.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loki440

Wow this guy says a lot but doesn't tell us shit! The title, provocative as it is, promises us a little insight into porn. What do we get. . .a story about an April Fool's joke.

Who gives a fuck about that? I've read cereal boxes that were more titillating.

But you read it, and for that, I thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by phatomsnow

Hey, here's a question:
WHO CARES WHETHER OR NOT IT'S REAL!

It's a story, regardless of the fiction or non fiction status.

This isn't viral marketing, it's a story. This is one mans story about life in Porn. Fiction or non Fiction, it's literature.
No matter how perverse or swell it makes you feel.

Thanks! Standing up for literature!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BitWarrior

This sounds very much like a fake. The original author of the first "chapter" was much, much more modest. Additionally, when he applied for the job the "company" was already well into porn. There are simply far too many discrepancies from the original writing to possibly be from the same author, I believe this is a poor attempt on someone's behalf to have their little 15 minutes of fame.

You super sleuth, you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbustafunk

as an english major who has proof read literally thousands of pieces of written material, i have to say that there is no chance the person who wrote Part 1 is the same person who wrote Part 2. completely different voice.

I'm flattered that someone would dissect my writing to such a degree as to completely deny that I wrote it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornholio21

Not only the writing style but also the different url, site look and feel, etc. made me wonder whether or not part 2 was written by a person totally unconnected to Matt and the original author.

Say, maybe, a guy who liked part one so much he tried to come along an spoof a part two.

The mystery gets more twisted!

Quote:

Originally Posted by illuminatedwax

I can't believe how incredibly unprofessional and stupid this porn company is. Allowing staff to touch models?

They let their domain name lapse?! Unbelievable.
Also, the writing is really bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by panique

Sorry, not buying it. Not for a second. One of my good friends is a pornographer who shoots for several high-volume websites, and has been doing it successfully for over 6 years. He does make a shitload of cash, has two apartments and leases two high-end vehicles. When we get together for lunch, we talk about our jobs among other things.

Here are some things he has told me in those various conversations:

1) The hot chicks don't "hang around". They are models who are paid to do a photo shoot, then they move on to the next shoot. Or go to the club. They don't need to hang out anywhere to get work, their agent takes care of that for them.

2) Obviously models are present during a shoot. A shoot takes places at the photographers apartment/studio/in the field, etc. NOT at the corporate HQ or owners apartment.

3) They don't hire IT people who are "in" to porn. For the same reason drug traffickers don't hire crack heads to package crack into little vials.

This is the best response. You tell 'em how the porn industry runs, dude. You tell 'em.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornholi21

If I'm Matt, and I come back to see the staff fooling around with the models, my reaction is not "let's get that on video", rather it would be "you're fired".

The blog is made-up.

I guess there's a reason why I worked for the real Matt and not you. The real Matt was cool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yst

As for the story, it's possible "Matt" really is what he's described to be: just a ludicrously unprofessional low-life photographer at the bottom of the industry food chain, who's destined to remain there. If this is the way he works, he'll never make any money. The only money in this kind of low-volume work is with solo girls (or boys) providing a consistent, good-quality output, and the only kind of solo girl who's worth anything is one supported by an agent who does his paperwork and provides his material reliably, on time, in a professional manner. Girls who are in and out the guy's door to do a low-quality shoot, who you can't sell as a long-term feature are worthless.

Awww. I thought I made Matt out to be a cool guy. His success was misleading because he didn't spend money to make the photography better -- because his success was based on the photography being amateur. Go figure with all thes know-it-alls spouting off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornholio21

Yeah, it was semi-believable until he started on the "I touch her breasts, then spanked her" stuff.

He might have been better off writing to "Dear Penthouse" instead.

This guy AGAIN. He's funny. So confident.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeeone

I am the senior developer of a porn empire. I've been holding the position since 1999. I prefer not to mention any of the websites I am responsible for, but they are huge. Nothing in this article is even remotely close to reality. Either that, or I have been irreversibly pornified.

You go, dude. With all that experience telling you how reality works.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brispone

you know all this talk of whether this is real or fake doesn't really matter. i thought the writing was pretty damn interesting. the whole time i was reading this (part 2 as well) i was thinking, "geez, flesh this out a bit more and it could possibly become some sort of novel", regardless of whether it's true or not.

Hmm.. a novel. Maybe in the future.. on a different subject. Hey, this post is turning into one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by illuminatedwax

Oh, there's no doubt that poorly executed things or people with no talent can become popular.

Ouch! I shared this one with my co-workers who just shook their heads. They loved the story.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zem

i think he was being self-deprecatingly sarcastic with the 'witty'

I think this dude is the one person on the planet who truely understands my real sens of humor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by isleshocky

Maybe he isn't that cute.

I'm not

Thanks for all the feedback!

Destrox · 03-22-2007, 08:11 PM

Glad I'm not the only one who finds digg comments (or fark even) more fun than the articles often.

It was a good read Halx, both of them.

fhqwhgads · 03-22-2007, 08:31 PM

I love the quote from the professional proofreader who said that there is NO way that both parts were written by the same person... ranks right up there with the people who say "Well I'm in the business, and since this never happened to me, this bastard is lying!" Pompous.

Keep up the good work Halx.

Ilow · 03-22-2007, 09:08 PM

Classic stuff. Some people are still convinced that if they blow out someone else's candle it will make theirs brighter. You're an ingenious bastard, Halx, and always entertaining.
For the record, my friend used to own a resturaunt below a porn "studio" and we would go upstairs to visit the owner occasionally. It seemed a lot like what you described, office and promotional areas right next to the room where it was all shot. It wasn't also his living space, but certainly not glitzy. And the owner was a great guy, I sold him some bike stuff a few times, as he goes on a lot of charity rides.
Oh wait, I was supposed to call bullshit and say that in all my experience in "the industry" that this story was completely fabricated. my mistake.

analog · 03-22-2007, 09:20 PM

I also love the guy who boasts his proofreading skills and how part 2 couldn't possibly be the same person who wrote part 1.

And man, some of those comments are priceless. People refuse to believe anything these days.

SecretMethod70 · 03-23-2007, 01:45 AM

Duclod at Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=duclod

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhqwhgads

I love the quote from the professional proofreader who said that there is NO way that both parts were written by the same person... ranks right up there with the people who say "Well I'm in the business, and since this never happened to me, this bastard is lying!" Pompous.

Keep up the good work Halx.

Indeed. In fact, I responded to that guy because I found his claim to be so ridiculous. In my opinion, anyone who really has experience writing knows that it's perfectly possible to write something and have one part sound different than the other, especially if you're not a professional writer and without a proofreader to help smooth things over.

03-23-2007, 08:03 AM

Ya know,
It annoys me when someone picks apart someone's writing style, etc. on their blog or in a forum post.

You're just telling a (amusing as hell, to me) story, not cranking out War and Peace.

So, Mr. Expert thinks a different person wrote parts one and two, eh?
These self proclaimed "experts" need to get over themselves and just get into the spirit of a good story.

Hell, I never attended a day of college, and I got a few articles published back when I was one of the IT guys at Forbes. I'm definately no "writer".

This inspires me to chronicle some of the stranger events of my youth (back when I was in the Navy). I was stationed near Los Angeles,CA in the 80's, and then Hawaii later in my career. You can probably imagine some of the situations I got into back then.
Let 'em pick those apart. I was there and I know what happened.
The hell with whoever thinks its fiction.

..OK, off my soapbox now..

Sorry. I just hate all the negative comments you get from idiots online who take everything so damned seriously these days.

I thought your story was great and look forward to more.

oFia · 03-23-2007, 09:06 PM

I thought you might find this amusing, or interesting. I just started "reading" this blog and found part of the Porn from the Inside quoted here.

NSFW!http://www.sexoteric.com/blog/index....018-003032.htm

There's no comments on the blog yet and not sure if the blog writer/owner allows comments. I did like this:

Quote:

Andrew got a job as a porn webmaster, and sometimes needs to exceed his job description.

to introduce the part included...

doubleaught · 03-26-2007, 09:29 AM

Their experiences make your reality untrue. For reals.

Daniel_ · 03-26-2007, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by analog

I also love the guy who boasts his proofreading skills and how part 2 couldn't possibly be the same person who wrote part 1.

And man, some of those comments are priceless. People refuse to believe anything these days.

That's just not true - I refuse to believe it.

skier · 03-26-2007, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by Haroshia
Diggvertisement for a porn site...awesome to see this on the top 10. I get enough of this garbage in my inbox. Burying this article hard and deep.

hahaha "hard and deep"

BobAlmighty · 03-26-2007, 07:22 PM

Yeah, I noticed a lot of double entendres in peoples responses like that. I wonder if they knew

Ourcrazymodern? · 03-27-2007, 01:14 PM

You're a beautiful person, Halx.

bermuDa · 03-27-2007, 07:50 PM

I've been speaking the English language for as long as I can remember, and been writing for twice as long. I've even made up words on occasion, when I felt that there wasn't an entry in the lexicon that could convey my utter genius. I proofread Catcher in the Rye 20 times and made over 7 changes to the dedication page.

I can say with 143.7% certainty, that the author of the second article is an imposter! He must have hijacked the original author's internet persona and stolen his underwear, just to continue the story in a slightly different voice. This is all part of his diabolical plan to generate traffic to the same exact site from whence the original article came.

Nice try, mysterious techno-doppleganger, but we're on to you! Admit your crimes and repent!

03-22-2007, 08:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	Glad I'm not the only one who finds digg comments (or fark even) more fun than the articles often. It was a good read Halx, both of them. __________________ You bore me.... next.

03-22-2007, 09:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	Classic stuff. Some people are still convinced that if they blow out someone else's candle it will make theirs brighter. You're an ingenious bastard, Halx, and always entertaining. For the record, my friend used to own a resturaunt below a porn "studio" and we would go upstairs to visit the owner occasionally. It seemed a lot like what you described, office and promotional areas right next to the room where it was all shot. It wasn't also his living space, but certainly not glitzy. And the owner was a great guy, I sold him some bike stuff a few times, as he goes on a lot of charity rides. Oh wait, I was supposed to call bullshit and say that in all my experience in "the industry" that this story was completely fabricated. my mistake. __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

03-23-2007, 08:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
Mr_E Guest	Screw the critics.. Ya know, It annoys me when someone picks apart someone's writing style, etc. on their blog or in a forum post. You're just telling a (amusing as hell, to me) story, not cranking out War and Peace. So, Mr. Expert thinks a different person wrote parts one and two, eh? These self proclaimed "experts" need to get over themselves and just get into the spirit of a good story. Hell, I never attended a day of college, and I got a few articles published back when I was one of the IT guys at Forbes. I'm definately no "writer". This inspires me to chronicle some of the stranger events of my youth (back when I was in the Navy). I was stationed near Los Angeles,CA in the 80's, and then Hawaii later in my career. You can probably imagine some of the situations I got into back then. Let 'em pick those apart. I was there and I know what happened. The hell with whoever thinks its fiction. ..OK, off my soapbox now.. Sorry. I just hate all the negative comments you get from idiots online who take everything so damned seriously these days. I thought your story was great and look forward to more.

03-26-2007, 07:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	Originally Posted by Haroshia Diggvertisement for a porn site...awesome to see this on the top 10. I get enough of this garbage in my inbox. Burying this article hard and deep. hahaha "hard and deep" __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

03-27-2007, 01:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	You're a beautiful person, Halx. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

03-22-2007, 08:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	I love the quote from the professional proofreader who said that there is NO way that both parts were written by the same person... ranks right up there with the people who say "Well I'm in the business, and since this never happened to me, this bastard is lying!" Pompous. Keep up the good work Halx.

03-22-2007, 09:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
analog Banned	I also love the guy who boasts his proofreading skills and how part 2 couldn't possibly be the same person who wrote part 1. And man, some of those comments are priceless. People refuse to believe anything these days.

03-26-2007, 09:29 AM	#9 (permalink)
doubleaught Psycho Location: OMFG BRB	Their experiences make your reality untrue. For reals.

03-26-2007, 07:22 PM	#12 (permalink)
BobAlmighty Upright	Yeah, I noticed a lot of double entendres in peoples responses like that. I wonder if they knew

03-27-2007, 07:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	I've been speaking the English language for as long as I can remember, and been writing for twice as long. I've even made up words on occasion, when I felt that there wasn't an entry in the lexicon that could convey my utter genius. I proofread Catcher in the Rye 20 times and made over 7 changes to the dedication page. I can say with 143.7% certainty, that the author of the second article is an imposter! He must have hijacked the original author's internet persona and stolen his underwear, just to continue the story in a slightly different voice. This is all part of his diabolical plan to generate traffic to the same exact site from whence the original article came. Nice try, mysterious techno-doppleganger, but we're on to you! Admit your crimes and repent! __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.