Screw the critics..
Ya know,
It annoys me when someone picks apart someone's writing style, etc. on their blog or in a forum post.
You're just telling a (amusing as hell, to me) story, not cranking out War and Peace.
So, Mr. Expert thinks a different person wrote parts one and two, eh?
These self proclaimed "experts" need to get over themselves and just get into the spirit of a good story.
Hell, I never attended a day of college, and I got a few articles published back when I was one of the IT guys at Forbes. I'm definately no "writer".
This inspires me to chronicle some of the stranger events of my youth (back when I was in the Navy). I was stationed near Los Angeles,CA in the 80's, and then Hawaii later in my career. You can probably imagine some of the situations I got into back then.
Let 'em pick those apart. I was there and I know what happened.
The hell with whoever thinks its fiction.
..OK, off my soapbox now..
Sorry. I just hate all the negative comments you get from idiots online who take everything so damned seriously these days.
I thought your story was great and look forward to more.
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