Charlatan

I have no problem with educating children about sex. I had the sex talk with my son at around age 9... maybe younger. I was very explicit about what sex was and made sure he understood. I know because on long boring car rides I would amuse myself by quizzing him about. I remembered being in grade one and two and not having a clue. Worse getting misinformation from idiot friends who only had half the story.

So I have no issue with sex talk.

Fucking my wife infront of my son. On purpose. Not just a random walk in. It's just not right.

I have had sex in the same room while he was sleeping and given the size of our last house I woudn't be surprised if he had heard the sounds of my wife and I having sex. That's the nature of sex. No big deal.

Again. Performing sex for his viewing eduction. Not bloody likely.

Sex is just intercourse. Yes. It isn't dirty. But I am just not that much of an exhibitionist.


Here is a question. Assuming your partner is willing, would be willing to have sex in front of your parents. You know, just to get them to let you know if you are doing it right.

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ngdawg

Agree wholeheartedly. Once we're adults, that's it for childhood, there's no going back, no matter how immature some of us are. We can allow them to keep their childhood ways without treating them like babies or the direct opposite-treating them like adults.
And protecting them from that nasty tumble if it's 100% certain that would be the result.

I don't see how anyone could compare the practices to a third world country to one that is not. Someone had brought up the point of people 100-200 years ago living in 1-room log cabins and having sex. There were also gunfights and disease...life expectancy was low; women had babies at 16, 17 years of age and kept having them until they no longer could or died.
Society has changed, mostly for the better.
Agreed again. This, to me, was tanatamount to forcing that participation. Anyone with half a brain would have either left the room to get it on or told the child to do so. This kid is probably going to start having sex by age 13, because 'it's no big deal, mommy liked it'. Or go the other extreme and be traumatized into thinking it's 'disgusting'. Either way, I don't see one thing 'healthy' about this situation.

My spouse's grandmother was married at 16, had her first child at 17, became a grandmother at 37. This was over 80 years ago. Now, when that happens, we immediately think, that poor deprived kid. My kids are almost 15, and they are still 'kids', albeit smart ones that I can converse with on a more adult level.
But, like I said earlier, and I say it to them, they need to keep that kiddom, enjoy their lives as kids. Once they're adults, they can't go back. Forcing them to 'accept' or 'view' what is, foremost, an intimate part of that adulthood is, to me, a form of abuse.
Had I known this woman, a hard smack to the back of her head with a 'wtf is WRONG with you??' would probably have been required.

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Hektore

I would just like to point out that it was awkward because sex was a behind closed doors activity, if it was out in the open even dinner table conversation, as it was for me by the time I was eight, you wouldn't have likely thought twice about walking in on your parents.

[sidenote: my parents were "normal", my mother was visibly pregnant with my little sister a few months before my eighth bday, causing me to ask all sorts of questions and them to give me a library shelf worth of books to read. Reading was my fav activity at the time, and it probably made it way less awkward for them]

Anyway, what this brings to mind to me is all the kids that hear their parents, go to investigate, crack the door and just sit there and watch. To me, the only difference is the couple in question knew she was there and since they knew she was there they could educate her. Sex is only such a dangerous thing for kids because parents/society make it such a dangerous thing by attaching all the baggage.

What creates the dilemma is that most people have the idea in their head that sex is something more than a recreational activity. Which is completely ok, but not everyone feels that way. Some people don't see it as anything more significant than a board game - to be enjoyed for it's own sake between two (sometimes more) people. As long as the child is educated and understands completely all the stuff that comes with sex (STD's, pregnancy ect.) Who cares if she has 500 partners by age 25, as long as she is responsible. Education is key, while I don't want to use the mother's method myself, I don't see anything inherently wrong with it.

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ASU2003

Where's this video?



It is strange to hear about this, and I'm glad I never had to watch my parents. But, I can understand why they did it. She at least knows how everything works, unlike me at age 14. It is still kind of strange and probably unnecessary, but not wrong (or a felony). It might be worse if the Mom and her Dad just broke up and the new boyfriend hadn't been around for that long. That is the only part that doesn't seem quite right.

I would have never thought about the past single room homes before I read that post. Maybe they had everyone wait outside or did it quietly under the covers. Maybe they only had it outside in the bushes. Eitherway, there wouldn't be much that wasn't wide in the open for everyone to see.

analog

Modern medicine and advanced law enforcement infrastructure account for the reduction in disease and crime. Those are both the result of economic growth, as are things like people affording houses bigger than a single room. These societal economic advances have nothing to do with societal principles, directly. What changes are the way people live their lives with the new options given them by these advances.

Prevailing societal opinions on things change over time, yes- but to discount societal principles of the past simply because the time period is consistent with other, unrelated things we've advanced from, is fallacious. We didn't advance from people having sex in the same room as their children because they suddenly decided it was disgusting and outmoded... they did so because living situations changed and people were able to procreate (or just bump uglies) in their own room. Over time, most things that are "the way it is" change into an opinion of "the way it should be". Think of any person who has ever related an ideal from their past, adding that now, "that's the way it should be".

This directly relates to the concept of privacy- something which is harped on and considered a moot point to argue against in America. When the family home became compartmentalized, what used to be a feeling of the family living together turned into everyone "needing" their "own space". An even better example of the learned behaviors that society amends its principles towards is the difference between America and most other developed countries in the world with how much space we seem to "need" to live comfortably. That is not something all humans know from birth- you learn it based on the way you live. Because we have space in America (for the moment), a single-occupancy apartment in america is huge in comparison to a single-occupancy apartment in europe, japan, china... just for examples. In areas where space is limited, living spaces are not made to be huge. That is what they're used to, so they never "learned" to "need" more space.

We change our principles based on how we live- the principles we're instilled with while growing up are changed and adapt to suit our wants and needs... then those principles are passed to the next generation, and more change is made.

We still see the idea of losing immodesty/privacy today in small children, when they bathe together- at some point, our values of privacy kick in and children of a certain age no longer share a tub. Immodesty and the "need" for privacy did not exist then the same way as it does now, and that's something else that needs to be considered when talking about how different things were then.

I'm not saying that their method of sex ed is the best, or the way to go- I'm just saying that the reactions I'm seeing about it being disgusting and this and that, are coming from a societal opinion that ignores the way people have been procreating for all time, up until the era of multi-room homes.

Charlatan

In Asia, there is a lot more sharing of space. Families not only live in smaller spaces but due to filial responsibilities families live together for longer periods (i.e. many live with their parents and extended families all of their life). This has resulted in more "love hotels" and "make out parks" than you can shake a stick at.

This is directly related to people wanted to have sex but not in front of their family. This is tangential to the issue of parents having sex in front of the kids but it is related to the larger concept of privacy.


For me the issue here (the parents staging a scene for the daughter) is one that many abusive relationships are founded on... power. A 9-year-old is not on an equal footing with her parents. She may not perceive that she has a choice to leave the room.

Yes, they say she wasn't being forced. They say it was just for education. But I find that to be highly suspect. As I said from the start, I am taking a wait and see attitude. My bullshit detector is screaming though.

There is also the very real possibility that "the boyfriend" is priming her for abuse later on. It has all the earmarks of that sort of abuse.

Again, I am all for education and explicit details. I just draw the line in a different place. I will be amazed to see, when and if some of you ever have kids, if you will put your beliefs into practice.

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raeanna74

I saw these two on TV. Based on their photos... As an adult, I, would be psychologically scared from watching those two dogs go at it. EEk!

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powerclown

It appears that opinion is split down the middle between breeders and non-breeders, experience vs lack thereof. Non-breeders: you WILL change your opinion on the matter, when you experience your very own loin-bred progeny. Kids are basically little you's, egotistically speaking. Little versions of oneself on some deep psychologically narcissistic level. They are your works of art so to speak, they are your sculptures, your creations. You will take pride in them possibly even after they merit none. When they look nothing like you, for example, people (strangers an inlaws included) will insist they look exactly like you. When they act nothing like you, people (and strangers and inlaws) will INSIST they remind them exactly of you. Grandparents will say they are just like you when you were a child. And you will smile instinctively.

Please keep this in mind when regarding situations such as this one from afar. You will not want to hurt your child in any way imaginable, unless your mind is broken somehow. You will want what is best for your child, and you will instinctively - instinctively - come to the conclusion that them watching you have sex is a worse idea than eating your own feces. Think about trying to explain that one to your parents.

stevie667

Thats my line of thinking exactly!

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Angel

Bingo! I couldn't agree more Charlatan. Especially on the "boyfriend" priming her for later abuse. There is no reason why a 9 year old girl needs explicit visual "education" on sex. When it smells like a rat and looks like a rat it must be a rat...And I smell a rat!

As an adult that was abused as a young girl and who has had many people share their stories of abuse, I can tell you that almost anybody that has been abused would say that this is a clear case of abuse with pre-pedophilia flags all over it. Shame on them.

Do I feel a prison sentence is in order? Doubtful. However, I don't feel that the mother should ever have custodial rights. She lost those IMO.

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DDDDave

Exactly......

(from a fellow breeder)

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Brewmaniac

I'm sure it will come out but what wasn't explained was how the couple engaged in sex while the child was there was it strictly missionary without the child seeing genitalia, showing the couple expressing their love for one and another or was it a sex show w/doggy and ass slapping and b-jobs.

Huge difference! One could be considered educational and the other criminal, IMO!


_

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Sultana

They both could be considered abusive.

Look people, there's a reason that educational and entertainment materials have an age-appropriate range. Some things are not good for a child to see, versus an adult.

How would you guys feel if your wives were in a room with people having sex, "to pick up a few techniques"? Presence is participation! There is no reason for a 9-year old to be involved in something like that for any reason. There are a plethora of other, less immediate and intimate methods of instruction and education.

What's next, it's OK for a father or mother to deflower their child, to give them the best possible, most loving introduction to sex?

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Gabbyness

I spit my OJ all over the keyboard you bloody bastard.

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Brewmaniac

Agreed, it shouldn't happen! Common sense kicking in.

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