The end of courtship - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Mantus · 10-28-2005, 10:09 PM

I found this rather intresting article by Leon R. Kass talking about how courtship and relationships are very messed up in our times. It's a long but good read.

http://www.thepublicinterest.com/notable/article7.html

In the end, even though Kass offers many points which one cannot argue against I have to say that I think he is seeing the past though rose collored glassess.

Yes, people married sooner and devorced less in the past (50's and back); but it wasn't this way because relationships were any better but because there were social preasures kept people together. Divorce was looked down upon and couples were supposed to "thought it out". People had to put up with all the same crap they do today accept back then it was your "private" bussiness.

I have hear allot of talk about the doom and gloom of sexuality in our times but frankly I think that overall there is progress and it certainly isn't any worse.

Etarip · 10-28-2005, 11:31 PM

Oy that was a long read... Thought provoking though.

I can't really come down on ether side as to wither or not she's looking at the past through rose glasses, you're right in that just because people were married doesn't mean that things were any better. But one of her main points was also that people has roles that they were expected to fill. Not to say that the generic roles of being a 'father' or 'mother' were good roles but in contrast to society today where there are no real expectations of us. Wither or not society has expectations of us being a good thing though is a matter of opinion. On the one hand it leaves each of us free to make our own choices as to what we value, on the other there is no drive or push for us to accomplish anything.

Where I really have to disagree with her though is in the last part of the article, the genie isn't going back into the bottle. Contraception isn't going away, and neither are women going to go back to the kitchen, as it were. And, as a man with younger sisters coming up though college now I wouldn't have a return to the ways of our grandparents. I want them to be free to pick the lifestyle they want, even if they pick one that they grow to despise, I consider that to be their right.

Hmmm, I think as far as I'm concerned yes the past has it's good points, but I don't want to return to it. I like being able to treat women as equals.

10-28-2005, 10:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	The end of courtship I found this rather intresting article by Leon R. Kass talking about how courtship and relationships are very messed up in our times. It's a long but good read. http://www.thepublicinterest.com/notable/article7.html In the end, even though Kass offers many points which one cannot argue against I have to say that I think he is seeing the past though rose collored glassess. Yes, people married sooner and devorced less in the past (50's and back); but it wasn't this way because relationships were any better but because there were social preasures kept people together. Divorce was looked down upon and couples were supposed to "thought it out". People had to put up with all the same crap they do today accept back then it was your "private" bussiness. I have hear allot of talk about the doom and gloom of sexuality in our times but frankly I think that overall there is progress and it certainly isn't any worse.

10-28-2005, 11:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Etarip Tilted	Oy that was a long read... Thought provoking though. I can't really come down on ether side as to wither or not she's looking at the past through rose glasses, you're right in that just because people were married doesn't mean that things were any better. But one of her main points was also that people has roles that they were expected to fill. Not to say that the generic roles of being a 'father' or 'mother' were good roles but in contrast to society today where there are no real expectations of us. Wither or not society has expectations of us being a good thing though is a matter of opinion. On the one hand it leaves each of us free to make our own choices as to what we value, on the other there is no drive or push for us to accomplish anything. Where I really have to disagree with her though is in the last part of the article, the genie isn't going back into the bottle. Contraception isn't going away, and neither are women going to go back to the kitchen, as it were. And, as a man with younger sisters coming up though college now I wouldn't have a return to the ways of our grandparents. I want them to be free to pick the lifestyle they want, even if they pick one that they grow to despise, I consider that to be their right. Hmmm, I think as far as I'm concerned yes the past has it's good points, but I don't want to return to it. I like being able to treat women as equals.