Dating an ex's best friend? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Kubz18 · 09-01-2005, 02:22 AM

ok so first off im not in high school as much as the topic seems like it would come from

anyway i recently been started to date this girl, lets call her Ann who is really great and i really like her but her BFF(best friend forever) is my ex who will call Beth(completely made up names for sake of saving confusion). i dated Beth for almost a year and things were ok between us(i think she liked me way to much) but after a year i broke it off in march and it was bad like the throwing my shit out the window bad,(but beth has always been overdramatic) but summer came around and everything seemed to calm down,
Ann this whole time is playing the role that the best friend has to play...she has to hate me....

BUT with beth back at college and no one to hang out with me and ann started hanging out alot(without beth knowing obviously) and now its been about a month and me and ann arent much for titles like the whole boyfriends/girlfriend thing...i think eventually its going to become serious(knock on wood) and theres still the problem of beth what do i do....or more importantly what advice for ann should i give.....

i really dont want this to become a love triangle high school brawl(and with beth having the maturity level of a 16 year old girl, it could be bad)
i also dont want to have ann lose beth as a friend

so any advice would be great....

*edit - i also forgot to mention that beth did cheat on me 2 weeks before i ended it

Thorny · 09-01-2005, 05:29 AM

It seems that a best friend (Beth) would be up on important things like who Ann was dating, and if this isn't something that can come out now, there will probably be explosions when it does. Ann may have to re-evaluate her friendship at gunpoint.

If the friendship survives, you are in for some serious problems. EVERYTHING you ever did with Beth will be discussed and compared to anything you do with Ann. That silly thing you do with your nose in bed will be laughed at, and all your re-used lines will be mocked. It's not a relationship-breaker, but it puts tremendous pressure on you to be creative and original, and not fall back on your typical dating patterns.

Girls talk to each other. It must be some sex-linked trait.

bad jane · 09-01-2005, 09:06 AM

unless beth happens to still think you are a great guy, just not great for her (from your post, doesn't sound like it) then her and ann are likely not "bff" for much longer. beth is gonna be upset, not just because her best friend is dating her ex--but that it was hidden from her. hardly the behavior of a friend.

and depending on the strength of that friendship, you may have just lost yourself a girlfriend. then again, if she's seeing you and hiding it from beth...how strong can it be?

in the event beth takes it really well and everyone lives happily ever after, thorny said it well--"EVERYTHING you ever did with Beth will be discussed and compared to anything you do with Ann."

Kubz18 · 09-01-2005, 10:25 AM

well we already talked about some of this,

she knew everything that happend between me and beth and i mean everything and she dosent care, but i get what your saying,

also since there both live a good 4-5 hours away from each other now the friendship seems to be fading but who knows...plus like i said its really not that serious now, its not like shes trying to hide it but once again its girls and who knows

well see what happens....maybe beth is dating some guy and that will make it ok who knows

mandy · 09-02-2005, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kubz18

well we already talked about some of this,

she knew everything that happend between me and beth and i mean everything and she dosent care, but i get what your saying,

also since there both live a good 4-5 hours away from each other now the friendship seems to be fading but who knows...plus like i said its really not that serious now, its not like shes trying to hide it but once again its girls and who knows

well see what happens....maybe beth is dating some guy and that will make it ok who knows

however, the guy beth might be dating is not your best friend! dont go there buddy.ask yourself how you'd react to beth going out with your best friend.believe me, you dont want to be in that situation.in the end, if their relationship is as strong to say that they are (bff), then they always going to be best friends and you my friend, in the end could get lfet with nothing.

and that's an even worse feeling.

09-01-2005, 02:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kubz18 Crazy Location: Austin....Austin, Massachusetts	Dating an ex's best friend? ok so first off im not in high school as much as the topic seems like it would come from anyway i recently been started to date this girl, lets call her Ann who is really great and i really like her but her BFF(best friend forever) is my ex who will call Beth(completely made up names for sake of saving confusion). i dated Beth for almost a year and things were ok between us(i think she liked me way to much) but after a year i broke it off in march and it was bad like the throwing my shit out the window bad,(but beth has always been overdramatic) but summer came around and everything seemed to calm down, Ann this whole time is playing the role that the best friend has to play...she has to hate me.... BUT with beth back at college and no one to hang out with me and ann started hanging out alot(without beth knowing obviously) and now its been about a month and me and ann arent much for titles like the whole boyfriends/girlfriend thing...i think eventually its going to become serious(knock on wood) and theres still the problem of beth what do i do....or more importantly what advice for ann should i give..... i really dont want this to become a love triangle high school brawl(and with beth having the maturity level of a 16 year old girl, it could be bad) i also dont want to have ann lose beth as a friend so any advice would be great.... edit - i also forgot to mention that beth did cheat on me 2 weeks before i ended it __________________ "I have no idea whats going on" Last edited by Kubz18; 09-01-2005 at 02:26 AM..*

09-01-2005, 10:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kubz18 Crazy Location: Austin....Austin, Massachusetts	well we already talked about some of this, she knew everything that happend between me and beth and i mean everything and she dosent care, but i get what your saying, also since there both live a good 4-5 hours away from each other now the friendship seems to be fading but who knows...plus like i said its really not that serious now, its not like shes trying to hide it but once again its girls and who knows well see what happens....maybe beth is dating some guy and that will make it ok who knows __________________ "I have no idea whats going on"

09-01-2005, 05:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
Thorny Upright Location: Ohio	It seems that a best friend (Beth) would be up on important things like who Ann was dating, and if this isn't something that can come out now, there will probably be explosions when it does. Ann may have to re-evaluate her friendship at gunpoint. If the friendship survives, you are in for some serious problems. EVERYTHING you ever did with Beth will be discussed and compared to anything you do with Ann. That silly thing you do with your nose in bed will be laughed at, and all your re-used lines will be mocked. It's not a relationship-breaker, but it puts tremendous pressure on you to be creative and original, and not fall back on your typical dating patterns. Girls talk to each other. It must be some sex-linked trait.

09-01-2005, 09:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	unless beth happens to still think you are a great guy, just not great for her (from your post, doesn't sound like it) then her and ann are likely not "bff" for much longer. beth is gonna be upset, not just because her best friend is dating her ex--but that it was hidden from her. hardly the behavior of a friend. and depending on the strength of that friendship, you may have just lost yourself a girlfriend. then again, if she's seeing you and hiding it from beth...how strong can it be? in the event beth takes it really well and everyone lives happily ever after, thorny said it well--"EVERYTHING you ever did with Beth will be discussed and compared to anything you do with Ann."