someotherguy

So I've lived a very sheltered life for quite sometime now. I'm nearly 21 years old and just now having my first girlfriend (except a girl for like 2 weeks in middle school that didn't count). She is an absolutely amazing. I can definately tell that she is in love with me and we've spent an enormous amount of time together in the past 5 weeks (like over 200 hours of time together).

Anyways sometime last week we held hands for the first time. Actually I was driving and I reached over and grabbed her hand. We had spoke about it before so it was really cool to do because we both were wanting to do it for quite sometime but didn't have the nerve. Anyways about 45 seconds later I'm still driving down the road... and I'm at like halfway erect. It was kinda folded over in my pants so it wasn't a big deal... but still. It didn't bother me too much because obviously I was happy at the time. But I wasn't thinking about sex at all at the time.

Ok no big deal, except here lately we've been spending all day together (we work together, side by side.) And she will reach over and rub my arm or gently brush against the back of my neck alot. And I shiver and smile everytime, I can't get enough of it. But about 75% of the time I end up... halfway again. But once again I'm not thinking about sex or anything sexual at all. This is when it becomes more difficult because I'm at work and having to get up, or walk into the next room or whatever.

We had our first kiss, (and our 2nd and 3rd) today. The first one was great, could of been better but I've never kissed a girl before, and I was so stunned at the time that I didn't have my problem. On a side note she gently had her tongue in my mouth (about 1/4 inch) and I was *so* not expecting that. It was just overwhelming. Anyways back on topic. The 2nd kiss was about 3 hours later. It was a decent kiss too, but this time there I was a minute later halfway erect. And the last kiss was at the end of the day, It wasn't really long but still our longest. Like 10 seconds, and I used some of my tongue as well. Whoa, I've been spinning in my head for the last 6 hours. I told her goodbye and got in my car and I was almost 100% erect. Once again I wasn't thinking about sex at all during the kiss.

Really I haven't had a sex talk with her yet, but she is a christian (this is why the first kiss with a little bit of her tongue made me go wow) and I think is probably a virgin, obviously I am as well. So currently I have no plans whatsoever to have sex before marriage (which is a long ways off) and I'm completely ok with that. She told me today that one of her guy friends told her that men think about sex once every 6 seconds or 3 seconds you know the saying. And I said that it depends on the guy and it depends on the relationship.

Personally I used to think about sex constantly. And wanted any hot girl that I would see. Now every girl I see I don't even really notice and just compare them to what makes them not as pretty as my girlfriend. When I think about my girlfriend I hardly ever think of sex, (not going to lie and say I haven't thought about having sex with her), I just think about how much I care for her, and how much I want to be next to her, and how much I just want to talk to her. She says she has never felt like this before and obviously I haven't either. I told her I loved her days before I kissed her and she couldn't believe it. She was like I can truly tell that you care about me as a person and not just lust. Every guy I have ever dated (3 other guys, 1 serious 3 year "distant" relationship that just wasn't fulfilling) kissed me for a week or two before the word love was ever used. I didn't even think that telling her I loved her before I kissed her would be such a great thing. But I am truly 100% in love with her as a person, and sex is not an issue at all.

Anyways, any ideas on how to stop or reduce the frequency of my problem. I think that it may be pretty normal for it to happen. Especially with how inexperienced I am with someone of the opposite sex wanting to touch / kiss me. And the fact that she is absolutely amazing, and multiple times a day I will look over at her and just go... "wow, how did I end up with someone so beautiful". Like I said it may be completely normal and I'll get used to it in a few weeks, I will just have to deal with it until then. But I would still like to know.

Psycho Dad

And I think you think right. Don't sweat it man, you sound like you are really into this girl and she is into you. Enjoy the ride. If you need to wear baggier jeans and a big t-shirt half the time, so be it.

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

scott_p_1

You might also want to try rubbing one out before heading out with her. Might help make your little friend a little less excitable.

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<Insert witty and profound statements here>

someotherguy

"If you need to wear baggier jeans and a big t-shirt half the time, so be it."
Welcome to my whole wardrobe. I wear jeans and a t-shirt daily, you would think she would be annoyed by it, but she says it fits me well. I agree

"You might also want to try rubbing one out before heading out with her. Might help make your little friend a little less excitable."
Perhaps but when you are with her from 8am to4pm or later. 8 hours is a long time to keep it at bay. I've tried the night before, perhaps I will try before work.

Thanks for the replies, I didn't think it was too abnormal, just looking for possible insights I'm missing.

hunnychile

Your situation is beautiful and very normal, dear heart. Love is a wondrous miracle and I feel priveliged to say that this may- in fact be the best time of your entire life. Talking about the love you share IS special and important. If you are both Christians, then truth is the only way, but I have to admit that love is an amazing feeling & perhaps you two were meant to be lovers. If this isn't appropriate, than take a lot of cold showers and waste time playing mind games of make believe...but in Truth, your first love and the lady you make love with Willl be a blessing & will always be with you and make you totally aware that yes, love IS the answer and God wants us to know true love. Talk it all out, but know that you only live once and it's up to you two whether or not this is the person you want to experience sex with and that this love is the most important feeling you both will ever know. It's time to live, and learn and love. If you are both ready for a commitment ,then say the words needed in truth. And God bless you both in all ways possible! And please be aware of safe sex....(of course ). So what if you both are young...that doesn't matter, if you love eachother. Don't think too much - everyone has a first love. Be authentic and true.

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

*Nikki*

My husband is 29 years old and this same thing happens to him all of the time I think it is simply wonderful and rather flattering.

I really don't know how to tell you to stop it, being that I am what is causing it, but I really don't think that your girl would mind to much if she notices.

healer

mandy and I having been going out for more than two years and it still happens to me. I was never one for baggy jeans so I would just reposition it so that it didn't tent too badly

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Johnny Pyro

That works awsome! I have to do that all the time. It does help. I got to do it two times! I'm easy, but I'm one after the other.

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

freeload

I've been with my wife for 10 yers, and it's the same. Think of it as a "mood-stick" - Allmost like a dogs tail , at least my wife thinks of it that way...

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The future ain't what it used to be.

someotherguy

Well tried the rub one off beforehand theory. 45 minutes later we were at a park looking out across a city and she leaned over and kissed me. Back to 100%. Guess I'm going to have to live with it.... not like it is a bad thing. Annoying, but if she ever notices I think she will be flattered.

optik_nerve

Hey, if she finds out, pull the casual "oops, look at that" or "heh, oh well" or something...I did that to my g/f in the beginning and she laughed about it... and we're still together 2 years later

GoldenOuroboros

Someotherguy, I have the same issues with my current girlfriend, it's always been like that with her. She's a beautiful woman and I love her a tonne. I'd be more worried if she was touching and nothing happened >_<

The only problem I find is after I've been in the car with her, we usually hold hands when she has one free and I have a semi, either waiting for it to go down, tuck it into the top of my shorts (if it's fully up) or suffer the strange looks of people when I'm walking into the shops with her. She just giggles about it as I've brought the issue up with her already and knows what I'm up to these days if I take a while to get out of the car

ok, that was probably more info than you needed, but yeah.. to simplify it, it's normal, don't worry about it, be happy

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Ramallah

You have no reason to be ashamed. It's completely natural. Sometimes I get hard just from being near a girl I like, with no sexual contact at all.

someotherguy

GoldenOuroboros... That is my problem exactly. She *always* has my hand and she will use her other hand to rub up and down my arm, or tickle the back of my neck. Drives me absolutely nuts everytime. Well hell I love it, but still. It is like wonderful now I have to walk around like this. Oh well, good to know its somewhat normal!

Mr_Tickles

I prefer the "ermm... I can explain that... "

gh0ti

I'm 26, not a virgin, had a couple of girlfriends, and this still happens to be quite regularly (especially with a new female). It's totally normal... just your little guy letting you know that he's ready when you are...

Case in point.. it had been quite a while since I'd hooked up with a girl, bad breakup yada yada... this girls mom invited me to her birthday party, so I decided what the heck and showed up. (yeah yeah, she is 18, I'm 26.. I'm a dirty bastard)... One thing lead to another and we hit it off. I'm driving us from her house to this pink floyd laser show at the planetarium and just kind of reached over, grabbed her hand and kissed it. BOING! We kind of made out on and off all night... JR would simply not go away... needless to say I had the worse case of blue balls ever...

Get used to it...

__________________
I ain't often right but I've never been wrong
It seldom turns out the way it does in the song
Once in a while you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right

Jinn

Thousands of 80-year old men would pay MILLIONS of dollars to have erections like that, so be thankful while you still got it, aye?

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thermight

It is completely normal. Still happens every time I kiss my wife of 15 years.

billwood

Ohhhh....to be young agin........

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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,shouting",,,HOLY CRAP...WHAT A RIDE!".

Craven Morehead

I think this is a wonderful story. Nothing to worry about. You're a healthy human and your body is reacting very positively. Enjoy where it takes you.

drewpy

I think a woman you love would find an erection , um, aimed in her direction, flattering ...

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"Once made equal to a man, woman becomes his superior." Socrates

genuinegirly

Perfectly normal. So your co-workers shouldn't take issue with it. Sounds like your li'l lady is a little worried over how much you might think about sex. Let her know that your "friend" pops up even when sex is furthest from your mind. Oh, and try quickly tucking it into your waist band while no one is looking to avoid the tent issue.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

tooth

I miss those erections

World's King

It's called your penis. When you get sexually excited... guess what happens... it gets hard. That's what it's supposed to do. Leave it alone. Or slap her in the forehead with it.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

james t kirk

Wait till you get older.

Then you will be remembering these days with fondness at just how well your dick worked.

When I was your age I could get a full raging hard on with ease. I remember necking with my then GF and being almost crippled from blue balls (unable to walk)

Why would you possibly not want to get a 100% hard on whenever you get excited?

Women love that.

Turbotom

...where'd you learn that?

Locobot

Try sticking your penis in her vagina, that should solve the "problem."

HLP

Im 20 now and I still have someotherguy's affliction. I wont call it a problem because I hope that everyday I wake up with a major tent and someday when Im working in a cubical 20 years down the line I still have to hunch over because it randomly decided to pop up.

I could care less if it pops up randomly, I always cherish it!

Turbotom

Yeah, you should be way more worried about it not popping up.

Charlatan

Enjoy your wood while you can. Don't worry about how it looks.

If you keep holding hands like this it just might lead to some activities that will take care of the problem for you...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

guthmund

Yep....that just about covers all the bases.

Tell her to take it as a compliment and move on. If she's feeling up to it, tell her how you'd like to introduce the two of them.

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No signature. None. Seriously.

zinter

Love is fascinating, something unique. I think is normal to think to your gf such way. You want her, you want her love. But take care, don't do it to often because the risk of premature ejaculation disorder is very high. Just think that one day, when both of you will be ready, will do the best love in the world.

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dapoxetine for premature ejaculation treatment

Zegel

Our bodies are hard-coded to reproduce - survival of the species and all that good stuff. So, to your body, the situation is simple:

Physical contact with woman, time to make babies.

Your mind might be thinking something else altogether, but your body is going to react how it is designed to.

bobillydylan

Just go with the flow my friend, its the most natural thing to happen to your body, if you feel uncomfortable ajust it so its pointing to the stars. Im sure if your G/F notices she will be quite flattered, and as guthmund says ask if you could introduce them lol take care my friend and do not worry

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Yes and only if my own true love was waiting,
And i could hear her heart a softly pounding,
Yes and only if she was lying by me!
Then i would lie in my bed once again.

BigBen

When I think about my GF, I get an erection.

I then have to do a handstand to urinate.

It is uncomfortable, that is true.

But your should see the muscle definition in my shoulders!

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

chelsea_9

i felt the same way you did at the begining of my relationship.

but now i honestly find it odd if he doesn't have an "open" erection when we're alone.




ever had a so-called "boredom boner"? i've heard of too many cases from some of my close guy friends where that has happened on the bus.

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all good dreamers pass this way some day
hiding behind bottles in dark cafes

bobillydylan

I can get an errection just by talking on the phone to my ex, if she mentions anything along the lines of sex, as soon as she says it my dick starts to go hard. Not complaining though, it is quite hard though( pardon the pun) when she rings me and im at work in my overalls walking round with a tent on lol

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Yes and only if my own true love was waiting,
And i could hear her heart a softly pounding,
Yes and only if she was lying by me!
Then i would lie in my bed once again.

abaya

I LOVE making my boyfriend hard. It makes me feel really good when I know he's hard because of me... and I have NO problem with him getting an erection anytime, in public or private. It's something to smile about.

Now that I think of it though, when I was an evangelical Christian and waiting till marriage (long in the past), I remember when I experienced my first hard-on. Meaning, my bf at the time got one while we were making out... and I was just like, WHAT is that??? I didn't say anything, since he still had his jeans on and I thought maybe it was his belt or something... but I kinda wish he had made a joke about it and not been so shy! Have fun!!!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

someotherguy

Kind of bringing this back from the dead here, but hey you all were right as always. Here in the last week or so she has done some "exploring" and she absolutely loves it. She will make jokes about it or rub up against me in the middle of the day just to tease me. No worries here anymore!

spartan19

Glad to hear that things are going well.

It's just about as normal as it gets.

I had the same worry for a little while and then it continued to being an issue that I was worried about offending my girlfriend at the time. Most girls understand and take it as an obvious flattery, but a 100% virgin Catholic school girl isn't most girls. I actually ended up being surprised because things turned out the same way with mine as they did with yours. It's a compliment and an interest for her.