What do you think of bachelor parties - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

streak_56 · 06-06-2005, 05:24 AM

I'm sure I would be pissed. But I don't know, I really haven't gotten "jealous" over anything before. I think it would be a trust/jealousy/ethics issue with me.

jwoody · 06-06-2005, 06:43 AM

Bachelor parties are an excuse for the groom-to-be's married friends to have a night out away from the ball and chain *.

*allegedly.

Ustwo · 06-06-2005, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

I dont see the point in spending that much money on a ring.....its totally insane to me. My E-ring was 80 dollars (well actually we havent gotten it yet lol, when we do get it, it will be 80 bucks)

If Im gonna spend that much money Im gonna buy me a friggin bondage bed

And here I thought a bondage bed was just a couple of ropes tied to the bedposts.

Sounds like I'm missing out.

c172g · 06-06-2005, 12:01 PM

I didn't have a stripper at my bachelor party, but I have been at several that did. I really could care less about the stripper, to me it's simply a tease. Why pay money to get all horny? If my wife would have went to a strip bar the night before it wouldn't have bothered me, if she did something with a stripper that would. We both feel the same way.

As for the e-ring, I paid nowhere near two months salary for it, nor would I ever. We are coming up on 10 years being married, I'll definately spend a bundle more on that gift than I did the wedding ring. It still will not be two months salary, however. That old idea is simply stupid in my opinion.

Redlemon · 06-06-2005, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCD

I have a bit hypocritical view of things.

Clearly not hypocritical. You did it, then you grew up, and looking back you regretted your actions. Thanks for giving your insight from the "other side".

KinkyKiwi · 06-06-2005, 12:53 PM

ugh i hate women like that....

anyway..i wouldnt care if he went to a strip club..just as you say not before the wedding and with a driver. i would also make a just in case condition on how much contact is allowed. but after those are clear...hell i'd want to come along! and if he didnt want me to and just wanted the boys thats fine too. as long as i got to go to a strip club with "my" boys too

its just nudity after all

Apache · 06-06-2005, 01:06 PM

I wouldn't have had a problem with it when we got married but he didn't want one anyway. He had never went to a strip club before and he didn't want to go the night before we got married either so I can't say that didn't make me happy though. But if he had really wanted to go I wouldn't have cared.

pinkie · 06-06-2005, 06:39 PM

I’d say that it all depends on the comfort level of your SO, and you. There are many things to take into consideration here, but in essence, that’s what this is about right? Consideration of your life partner’s feelings… ?

I think this is something that can’t be answered in a generalized sense. That’s not fair to the individuals. There are always personal details that make each situation unique. It’s up to the couple. No survey can decide what makes a bachelorette, or bachelor party with strippers (and the like) okay, it’s a case by case call only. If you love and respect your partner, and you respect their feelings on the matter, then you come to a compromise with each other.

It’s not an, “If you trust me, you’ll let me do this” manipulation. Respect should be in place, trust is built with respect.

As for the ring – Same thing basically, it depends on the couple.

There’s always going to be someone trying to make a buck or a mark by selling some idea on; “The way things should be.” I think that people should do what they believe is right, and not rely on what others say is proper, correct or “the in thing to do.”

For myself, all of my life I’ve gone against the grain of normalcy in every way. That being said, I did try to go a bit “traditional” with my wedding. With hindsight I can say is that having expectations too high (of any kind) is a sure way to be disappointed with the outcome of something, and I was trying to create an "upscale on a budget" kind of wedding.

I learned that the best way to prepare for a wedding is to lower your expectations and increase your love for one another. Planning a wedding is a huge stress on the relationship so be prepared to be disappointed, life is full of them. However, there is nothing to prepare you for the unconditional love and devotion a good marriage yields. It blows my mind daily.

MSD · 06-07-2005, 03:11 AM

The two months' salary concept was a viral marketing campaign conducted by a well known diamond retailer. It did much more for them than any number of silohuettes putting jewelry on each other ever could. It's become such a persistent myth that society has almost accepted it as an indisputable fact. It's fucking disgusting.

Ustwo · 06-07-2005, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct

The two months' salary concept was a viral marketing campaign conducted by a well known diamond retailer. It did much more for them than any number of silohuettes putting jewelry on each other ever could. It's become such a persistent myth that society has almost accepted it as an indisputable fact. It's fucking disgusting.

Its not all bad. It helps seperate the gold diggers from a woman you would really want to marry. If she makes a big deal about it you learn an important lesson BEFORE you get married.

oberon · 06-07-2005, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

Its not all bad. It helps seperate the gold diggers from a woman you would really want to marry. If she makes a big deal about it you learn an important lesson BEFORE you get married.

If you're smart enough to realize it, anyway.

Rinndalir · 06-07-2005, 09:09 AM

I had one, wasn't particularly looking to but I got drug out to the strip club by all my friends (guys & girls both). They kept putting Grey Goose in front of me till all I remember is getting up on stage and dancing with the strippers and getting about 20 pairs of titties rubbed in my face, then waking up on my friends couch the next day. Lucky for me, the wedding was a 5pm...

My wife would have gone with me but had to work, she had a good laugh as I explained my drunken antics that night

Prince · 06-07-2005, 10:56 AM

I never had a bachelor party, as I didn't have friends. And well, when you don't have friends, you don't have to worry about having a best man either. It all falls into place nicely.

I would not have been bothered if my wife's bachelorette party had had some stripping going on. If she had been the one doing the stripping, then that would have found me confused, but mostly b/c she's quite a private person when it comes to sexuality and nudity.

Those women in the OP's example...perhaps they shouldn't be getting married, period. The maturity is obviously not there.

c172g · 06-07-2005, 11:03 AM

I had a friend who had their fiancee' return the ring to him for a bigger one. She wasn't satisfied with what he bought. He actually went back & got something bigger. And they are still married after about 8 years.

I would have kicked her ass to the curb immediately.

Disk_Pusher · 06-07-2005, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c172g

I had a friend who had their fiancee' return the ring to him for a bigger one. She wasn't satisfied with what he bought. He actually went back & got something bigger. And they are still married after about 8 years.

I would have kicked her ass to the curb immediately.

WTF. I can't even form a coherent sentance expressing my disgust.

ShaniFaye · 06-07-2005, 12:15 PM

disk pusher, trust me, there are MANY women out there like that....that wedding board has more than one story like that....hell there was even one where the parents didnt like the ring the guy bought so they went out and purchased a 20,000 dollar ring and so so kindly told the guy he could pay them back on it with a payment plan because they ring HE purchased wasnt good enuff for their little girl

Ustwo · 06-07-2005, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

disk pusher, trust me, there are MANY women out there like that....that wedding board has more than one story like that....hell there was even one where the parents didnt like the ring the guy bought so they went out and purchased a 20,000 dollar ring and so so kindly told the guy he could pay them back on it with a payment plan because they ring HE purchased wasnt good enuff for their little girl

Hahahahaha, I'd pitty the guy if he wasn't so stupid to agree.

Cynthetiq · 06-07-2005, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

disk pusher, trust me, there are MANY women out there like that....that wedding board has more than one story like that....hell there was even one where the parents didnt like the ring the guy bought so they went out and purchased a 20,000 dollar ring and so so kindly told the guy he could pay them back on it with a payment plan because they ring HE purchased wasnt good enuff for their little girl

hmmm I guess the will also sport money for the house, car, kids care, etc. since it has to be good enough for their little girl and grandchildren

Rinndalir · 06-07-2005, 02:14 PM

I can think of 3 different couples I knew where the girl was like that, "If you love me you'll spend at least $x on a ring that's good enough for me"

Out of them 2 are divorced because the chick ended up cheating on the guy and using him for $$$, and the 3rd is headed that way from what I can tell.

I was engaged once before my wife, and all I could afford to give the girl was a cheap WalMart special. Even then, it was pushing it. When she found out it where it came from it triggered a huge fight which was the beginning of the end for the relationship.

It is sad, really. I can understand wanting a nice ring, *if* you can afford it without having to eat ramen for the next year. But it being a deal breaker, sending it back for a bigger one, it not costing enough...I gave my wife my mom's old ring, she had given it to me knowing I was planning on asking her and knowing I was dirt poor. We had it resized and she absolutely loved it. It was much nicer than anything I could have afforded at the time and an heirloom, and saved us money for other things that we needed like a washing machine, tires for the car, etc.

Biffaloo420 · 06-07-2005, 04:24 PM

I would have no problem if my husband would have wanted to watch strippers for his bachelor party as long as that was all it was. Everyone is allowed to look...right? However, having sex with someone else in order to "celebrate" the soon to be wedding is just cursing the whole idea if you ask me. However, I do agree with an earlier posting that the idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties has gotten way out of hand! Can't two people just be so much in love that they don't need to have one last night of freedomly fun before making that life long commitment?

Phant84 · 06-08-2005, 08:39 PM

When my wife and i got married, she told me to do whatever i (actually the best man) wanted for the party. we ended up renting an entire bar for the night, and another friend hired 2 strippers. my wife knew about it in advance and was cool with it. when the night finally arrived, the strippers didnt. so we ended up drinking the night away and then meeting up with my wife and her friends after her party. so much for strippers.

Disk_Pusher · 06-09-2005, 07:18 PM

ShaniFaye:

I supose I should come up with the words to express what a filthy practice I find that to be, seeing as it is so common. I simply don't associate with women like that, and so I don't hear about it. It just seems to similar to the old days of buying yourself a woman, another practice I find aborent.

And on topic... (I'm getting there, damn it!) I'm getting my SO a bar and a couple of strippers for his party. He'll protest, but many times he protests to be a nice guy and not because he means no - he trys to protect my feelings, but he doesn't get that I'm pretty laid back when it comes to other chicks. I have no problem oggling a pair of nice tits - why on earth would I be mad at him for doing it?

aintyoboyfriend · 06-10-2005, 11:15 AM

I feel like I should chime in on this one -

One of my best friends is getting married in about three weeks, we just had his bachelor party this past weekend. His fiancee and I planned it and suprised him. I think we grasped the whole concept of a bachelor party.

We rented a private room in a restaurant, had all of his college friends, his fiancee, and both there parents, along with all of his close friends for dinner. We made fun of all the stupid things that he did when he was young, and then after dinner, all of the ladies went home, and we had a limo pick us up.

Then we just went bar hopping for a while, all of his friends, his dad, and his future father in law. We eventually did go to a strip club last, but it wasn't so much about the naked girls, as it was just a night out, all of us guys having fun, and all of the attention from everyone in club on him, since it was his "last night of freedom" so to speak.

Of course, his fiancee had a few concerns about the strip club, and knowing that he was going to one. I assured her nothing bad would happen, and she said she was fine with it, since she trusts his judgement.

All in all it was a sucess, with no drama, and he feels like he got out that urge to go out and party, since he's going to be a newleywed soon.

06-06-2005, 12:53 PM	#46 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	ugh i hate women like that.... anyway..i wouldnt care if he went to a strip club..just as you say not before the wedding and with a driver. i would also make a just in case condition on how much contact is allowed. but after those are clear...hell i'd want to come along! and if he didnt want me to and just wanted the boys thats fine too. as long as i got to go to a strip club with "my" boys too its just nudity after all __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

06-06-2005, 06:39 PM	#48 (permalink)
pinkie Helplessly hoping Location: Above the stars	I’d say that it all depends on the comfort level of your SO, and you. There are many things to take into consideration here, but in essence, that’s what this is about right? Consideration of your life partner’s feelings… ? I think this is something that can’t be answered in a generalized sense. That’s not fair to the individuals. There are always personal details that make each situation unique. It’s up to the couple. No survey can decide what makes a bachelorette, or bachelor party with strippers (and the like) okay, it’s a case by case call only. If you love and respect your partner, and you respect their feelings on the matter, then you come to a compromise with each other. It’s not an, “If you trust me, you’ll let me do this” manipulation. Respect should be in place, trust is built with respect. As for the ring – Same thing basically, it depends on the couple. There’s always going to be someone trying to make a buck or a mark by selling some idea on; “The way things should be.” I think that people should do what they believe is right, and not rely on what others say is proper, correct or “the in thing to do.” For myself, all of my life I’ve gone against the grain of normalcy in every way. That being said, I did try to go a bit “traditional” with my wedding. With hindsight I can say is that having expectations too high (of any kind) is a sure way to be disappointed with the outcome of something, and I was trying to create an "upscale on a budget" kind of wedding. I learned that the best way to prepare for a wedding is to lower your expectations and increase your love for one another. Planning a wedding is a huge stress on the relationship so be prepared to be disappointed, life is full of them. However, there is nothing to prepare you for the unconditional love and devotion a good marriage yields. It blows my mind daily. Last edited by pinkie; 06-06-2005 at 06:43 PM.. Reason: typo

06-07-2005, 10:56 AM	#53 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	I never had a bachelor party, as I didn't have friends. And well, when you don't have friends, you don't have to worry about having a best man either. It all falls into place nicely. I would not have been bothered if my wife's bachelorette party had had some stripping going on. If she had been the one doing the stripping, then that would have found me confused, but mostly b/c she's quite a private person when it comes to sexuality and nudity. Those women in the OP's example...perhaps they shouldn't be getting married, period. The maturity is obviously not there. __________________ Who is John Galt?

06-07-2005, 12:15 PM	#56 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	disk pusher, trust me, there are MANY women out there like that....that wedding board has more than one story like that....hell there was even one where the parents didnt like the ring the guy bought so they went out and purchased a 20,000 dollar ring and so so kindly told the guy he could pay them back on it with a payment plan because they ring HE purchased wasnt good enuff for their little girl __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

06-08-2005, 08:39 PM	#61 (permalink)
Phant84 Insane Location: aqui	When my wife and i got married, she told me to do whatever i (actually the best man) wanted for the party. we ended up renting an entire bar for the night, and another friend hired 2 strippers. my wife knew about it in advance and was cool with it. when the night finally arrived, the strippers didnt. so we ended up drinking the night away and then meeting up with my wife and her friends after her party. so much for strippers. __________________ Phant Irrationality is the square root of all evil

06-06-2005, 05:24 AM	#41 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	I'm sure I would be pissed. But I don't know, I really haven't gotten "jealous" over anything before. I think it would be a trust/jealousy/ethics issue with me.

06-06-2005, 06:43 AM	#42 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	Bachelor parties are an excuse for the groom-to-be's married friends to have a night out away from the ball and chain . allegedly.

06-06-2005, 12:01 PM	#44 (permalink)
c172g Crazy Location: Michigan	I didn't have a stripper at my bachelor party, but I have been at several that did. I really could care less about the stripper, to me it's simply a tease. Why pay money to get all horny? If my wife would have went to a strip bar the night before it wouldn't have bothered me, if she did something with a stripper that would. We both feel the same way. As for the e-ring, I paid nowhere near two months salary for it, nor would I ever. We are coming up on 10 years being married, I'll definately spend a bundle more on that gift than I did the wedding ring. It still will not be two months salary, however. That old idea is simply stupid in my opinion.

06-06-2005, 01:06 PM	#47 (permalink)
Apache Insane	I wouldn't have had a problem with it when we got married but he didn't want one anyway. He had never went to a strip club before and he didn't want to go the night before we got married either so I can't say that didn't make me happy though. But if he had really wanted to go I wouldn't have cared.

06-07-2005, 03:11 AM	#49 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	The two months' salary concept was a viral marketing campaign conducted by a well known diamond retailer. It did much more for them than any number of silohuettes putting jewelry on each other ever could. It's become such a persistent myth that society has almost accepted it as an indisputable fact. It's fucking disgusting.

06-07-2005, 09:09 AM	#52 (permalink)
Rinndalir Insane	I had one, wasn't particularly looking to but I got drug out to the strip club by all my friends (guys & girls both). They kept putting Grey Goose in front of me till all I remember is getting up on stage and dancing with the strippers and getting about 20 pairs of titties rubbed in my face, then waking up on my friends couch the next day. Lucky for me, the wedding was a 5pm... My wife would have gone with me but had to work, she had a good laugh as I explained my drunken antics that night

06-07-2005, 11:03 AM	#54 (permalink)
c172g Crazy Location: Michigan	I had a friend who had their fiancee' return the ring to him for a bigger one. She wasn't satisfied with what he bought. He actually went back & got something bigger. And they are still married after about 8 years. I would have kicked her ass to the curb immediately.

06-07-2005, 02:14 PM	#59 (permalink)
Rinndalir Insane	I can think of 3 different couples I knew where the girl was like that, "If you love me you'll spend at least $x on a ring that's good enough for me" Out of them 2 are divorced because the chick ended up cheating on the guy and using him for $$$, and the 3rd is headed that way from what I can tell. I was engaged once before my wife, and all I could afford to give the girl was a cheap WalMart special. Even then, it was pushing it. When she found out it where it came from it triggered a huge fight which was the beginning of the end for the relationship. It is sad, really. I can understand wanting a nice ring, if you can afford it without having to eat ramen for the next year. But it being a deal breaker, sending it back for a bigger one, it not costing enough...I gave my wife my mom's old ring, she had given it to me knowing I was planning on asking her and knowing I was dirt poor. We had it resized and she absolutely loved it. It was much nicer than anything I could have afforded at the time and an heirloom, and saved us money for other things that we needed like a washing machine, tires for the car, etc.

06-07-2005, 04:24 PM	#60 (permalink)
Biffaloo420 Upright Location: Machesney Park, IL	I would have no problem if my husband would have wanted to watch strippers for his bachelor party as long as that was all it was. Everyone is allowed to look...right? However, having sex with someone else in order to "celebrate" the soon to be wedding is just cursing the whole idea if you ask me. However, I do agree with an earlier posting that the idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties has gotten way out of hand! Can't two people just be so much in love that they don't need to have one last night of freedomly fun before making that life long commitment?

06-09-2005, 07:18 PM	#62 (permalink)
Disk_Pusher Tilted Location: Fresno, soon to be Sacramento!	ShaniFaye: I supose I should come up with the words to express what a filthy practice I find that to be, seeing as it is so common. I simply don't associate with women like that, and so I don't hear about it. It just seems to similar to the old days of buying yourself a woman, another practice I find aborent. And on topic... (I'm getting there, damn it!) I'm getting my SO a bar and a couple of strippers for his party. He'll protest, but many times he protests to be a nice guy and not because he means no - he trys to protect my feelings, but he doesn't get that I'm pretty laid back when it comes to other chicks. I have no problem oggling a pair of nice tits - why on earth would I be mad at him for doing it? __________________ Some people push the envelope - I push the disk!

06-10-2005, 11:15 AM	#63 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	I feel like I should chime in on this one - One of my best friends is getting married in about three weeks, we just had his bachelor party this past weekend. His fiancee and I planned it and suprised him. I think we grasped the whole concept of a bachelor party. We rented a private room in a restaurant, had all of his college friends, his fiancee, and both there parents, along with all of his close friends for dinner. We made fun of all the stupid things that he did when he was young, and then after dinner, all of the ladies went home, and we had a limo pick us up. Then we just went bar hopping for a while, all of his friends, his dad, and his future father in law. We eventually did go to a strip club last, but it wasn't so much about the naked girls, as it was just a night out, all of us guys having fun, and all of the attention from everyone in club on him, since it was his "last night of freedom" so to speak. Of course, his fiancee had a few concerns about the strip club, and knowing that he was going to one. I assured her nothing bad would happen, and she said she was fine with it, since she trusts his judgement. All in all it was a sucess, with no drama, and he feels like he got out that urge to go out and party, since he's going to be a newleywed soon.