About Vaginal Scarring and other Maladies - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Daoust · 06-02-2005, 07:40 AM

My wife just went to the gyno yesterday...almost 19 mos. since our daughter was born...wanted to ask about her post partum scarring, lowered sex drive, etc. Keep in mind we didn't have sex for 5 months, after the baby was born due to complications with scarring, infections etc. I will include that sex since that five month hiatus has been hit and miss...literally. I'd hit it, and then I'd miss it for many weeks....(this is supposed to be a serious thread, but I did find that last little joke kind of funny! Good one, eh?

Anyway, the doctor told her she had really bad scarring which needed surgical correction, but it won't be worthwhile having that sugery until after we're done having children for good. Secondly, and this is where I need some help, TFPers, the doctor told her she had a particular problem which had something to do with the tightening of the muscles in her vagina. What happens is that every time something comes in close contact with the vagina, the muscles automatically tighten up, making sex considerably more difficult and uncomfortable...

Have any other women here had this problem? I would love some insight into how you coped, what you did, if you've had any correctional surgery...

I suppose this could have gone in Tilted Parenting too, but I figure it fits here, and there's more exposure here as well...

Sage · 06-02-2005, 10:29 AM

Did the gyno say WHY her muscles were tighening up? There's been comments about that sort of thing in the past. There's a medical condition that is psychological in some aspects which causes the woman's vagina to contract so tightly that nothing can be inserted. Usually this is due to some trauma in the woman's past- it's a form of PTSD. How does your wife feel about all of this? Have you talked to her at all about her take on not having sex? Do you know the vaginal tightening is because of complications from pregnancy, or is it because of some deeper psychological issue? Have you been to another doctor to get a second opnion? Educating yourself and your wife and committing yourself to open, honest communication about her body and her situation is your best bet here. Good Luck

Daoust · 06-03-2005, 04:27 AM

We both had wondered about the problem being a result of PTSD. She does not have any incidences of sexual abuse or harrassment in her past, but her mom was a social worker and her family took in young girls who became pregnant before they were able to sustain themselves. My mother in law took in the women, gave them a home, a healthy place to begin raising their children, taught them a lot of basic necessities like how to sterilize things, how to cook, how to nurse, etc. Just basic skills to help the women when they would be single parenting in the near future. It really was an eye opener to my wife and her sister. They were able to see first hand some women who were abused, who abused themselves, etc. So that there may have some answers to her problem, but I'd assume that's only part of it. She's always been a very private person, very self conscious about her body. She's the least touchy feely person I know. She doesn't hug very many people. These could all be things relating to the problem... Any other thoughts? Does anyone remember the name of the...thing? What's the word for it? Not disease...condition! Condition.

Squishor · 06-03-2005, 06:14 AM

It's called vaginismus. I had it briefly when I first started having sex but it went away on its own - and I didn't have any specific psychological cause I could point to either.

wolf · 06-03-2005, 06:45 AM

Did the doctor recommend any treatment for the Vaginismus? There is a physical therapy for it. Basically it includes the tightening and releasing of the muscles in that area. Also there are dilators which are used to help the muscles lose some of the tightness.

Sage · 06-03-2005, 06:57 AM

Daoust- Martel and I talked about this last night (it's so wonderful to have a budding Psychologist for a husband!) and he said that for most women, the causes of vaginismus aren't on the "surface" of conscience thought. So, perhaps during the ordeal of your wife's pregnancy, and the subsequent pain and scarring of childbirth, some wires deep in her psyche got connected and somewhere in there her body associates things going in/out of her vagina with terrible pain and malady. This won't be something she's actively thinking, but something that her body is reacting to. Did she have vaginismus before she had a baby? I think that the changes in her (and her body's) reaction to sex from before to after she had a baby will be a big clue in figuring out what's going on. Doing some sleuthing will probably leave you and your wife with a better idea of how to help her. Do keep us posted!

Squishor · 06-03-2005, 07:14 AM

I never had any particular treatment and it just went away after a few months. On thinking about it a little further, I suspect the root of the problem could have been the fact that I had a hard time losing my virginity due to a tough hymen (runs in the family). I had actually been living with my boyfriend for a couple of months before I managed to lose my virginity, and then it was in a drunk blackout. We tried every day, it seems like, but the pain had been too much. So maybe all that trauma of trying to have sex caused it, I don't know. Anyhow it subsided and there was no further problem. I don't know if that's helpful at all.

06-02-2005, 07:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	About Vaginal Scarring and other Maladies My wife just went to the gyno yesterday...almost 19 mos. since our daughter was born...wanted to ask about her post partum scarring, lowered sex drive, etc. Keep in mind we didn't have sex for 5 months, after the baby was born due to complications with scarring, infections etc. I will include that sex since that five month hiatus has been hit and miss...literally. I'd hit it, and then I'd miss it for many weeks....(this is supposed to be a serious thread, but I did find that last little joke kind of funny! Good one, eh? Anyway, the doctor told her she had really bad scarring which needed surgical correction, but it won't be worthwhile having that sugery until after we're done having children for good. Secondly, and this is where I need some help, TFPers, the doctor told her she had a particular problem which had something to do with the tightening of the muscles in her vagina. What happens is that every time something comes in close contact with the vagina, the muscles automatically tighten up, making sex considerably more difficult and uncomfortable... Have any other women here had this problem? I would love some insight into how you coped, what you did, if you've had any correctional surgery... I suppose this could have gone in Tilted Parenting too, but I figure it fits here, and there's more exposure here as well... __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

06-02-2005, 10:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Did the gyno say WHY her muscles were tighening up? There's been comments about that sort of thing in the past. There's a medical condition that is psychological in some aspects which causes the woman's vagina to contract so tightly that nothing can be inserted. Usually this is due to some trauma in the woman's past- it's a form of PTSD. How does your wife feel about all of this? Have you talked to her at all about her take on not having sex? Do you know the vaginal tightening is because of complications from pregnancy, or is it because of some deeper psychological issue? Have you been to another doctor to get a second opnion? Educating yourself and your wife and committing yourself to open, honest communication about her body and her situation is your best bet here. Good Luck __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

06-03-2005, 04:27 AM	#3 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	We both had wondered about the problem being a result of PTSD. She does not have any incidences of sexual abuse or harrassment in her past, but her mom was a social worker and her family took in young girls who became pregnant before they were able to sustain themselves. My mother in law took in the women, gave them a home, a healthy place to begin raising their children, taught them a lot of basic necessities like how to sterilize things, how to cook, how to nurse, etc. Just basic skills to help the women when they would be single parenting in the near future. It really was an eye opener to my wife and her sister. They were able to see first hand some women who were abused, who abused themselves, etc. So that there may have some answers to her problem, but I'd assume that's only part of it. She's always been a very private person, very self conscious about her body. She's the least touchy feely person I know. She doesn't hug very many people. These could all be things relating to the problem... Any other thoughts? Does anyone remember the name of the...thing? What's the word for it? Not disease...condition! Condition. __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

06-03-2005, 06:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	Did the doctor recommend any treatment for the Vaginismus? There is a physical therapy for it. Basically it includes the tightening and releasing of the muscles in that area. Also there are dilators which are used to help the muscles lose some of the tightness. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

06-03-2005, 06:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Daoust- Martel and I talked about this last night (it's so wonderful to have a budding Psychologist for a husband!) and he said that for most women, the causes of vaginismus aren't on the "surface" of conscience thought. So, perhaps during the ordeal of your wife's pregnancy, and the subsequent pain and scarring of childbirth, some wires deep in her psyche got connected and somewhere in there her body associates things going in/out of her vagina with terrible pain and malady. This won't be something she's actively thinking, but something that her body is reacting to. Did she have vaginismus before she had a baby? I think that the changes in her (and her body's) reaction to sex from before to after she had a baby will be a big clue in figuring out what's going on. Doing some sleuthing will probably leave you and your wife with a better idea of how to help her. Do keep us posted! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

06-03-2005, 06:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	It's called vaginismus. I had it briefly when I first started having sex but it went away on its own - and I didn't have any specific psychological cause I could point to either.

06-03-2005, 07:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	I never had any particular treatment and it just went away after a few months. On thinking about it a little further, I suspect the root of the problem could have been the fact that I had a hard time losing my virginity due to a tough hymen (runs in the family). I had actually been living with my boyfriend for a couple of months before I managed to lose my virginity, and then it was in a drunk blackout. We tried every day, it seems like, but the pain had been too much. So maybe all that trauma of trying to have sex caused it, I don't know. Anyhow it subsided and there was no further problem. I don't know if that's helpful at all.