lack of compliments - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

burnRedDress · 06-14-2005, 06:51 PM

Complimenting others but not complimenting you is a bit wrong but I think the frequency of compliments between partners matters differently to different individuals & you can't assume that "frequently" is always considered a good thing. I personally have a partner that compliments me on a daily basis & I HATE it.
"Why?" you ask? Because it loses its meaning. It loses it's logic. It reminds me of a friend I had that would always say "thankyou". At first I thought she was exceptionally polite, but as time went on I realised she had almost been conditioned to say "thankyou" at all costs. I realised that saying "thankyou" had become an automated response and thus its meaning had become worthless - there was no "thanks" in the heart.

I'd rather be told I look attractive because I had "dressed up" for an occasion, than to be told such a thing, by default, on a daily basis "just because".

MexicanOnABike · 06-14-2005, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burnRedDress

Complimenting others but not complimenting you is a bit wrong but I think the frequency of compliments between partners matters differently to different individuals & you can't assume that "frequently" is always considered a good thing. I personally have a partner that compliments me on a daily basis & I HATE it.
"Why?" you ask? Because it loses its meaning. It loses it's logic. It reminds me of a friend I had that would always say "thankyou". At first I thought she was exceptionally polite, but as time went on I realised she had almost been conditioned to say "thankyou" at all costs. I realised that saying "thankyou" had become an automated response and thus its meaning had become worthless - there was no "thanks" in the heart.

I'd rather be told I look attractive because I had "dressed up" for an occasion, than to be told such a thing, by default, on a daily basis "just because".

true, but if the compliment is from the heart and true, then i dont see a problem. example: my gf loves when i say nice things and i only say em when it's the truth and when i mean it. but since i always find her beautiful, it's never a lie for me to tell her everyday. i agree that it might loose a bit of it's "special" feeling by saying it too much but i dont care anymore about that.

imperfect_anya · 06-16-2005, 08:30 PM

Ok, I have a similar situation, but I've learned to turn it into a productive way. My boyfriend is not one to really compliment anyone, so if I ever get the insecure itch I ask him pointblank what he thinks. It's not that he's never complimented me or that I really need him to do it on a daily basis. So by asking him directly I've found out that he refrains from complimenting me on my looks bc he thinks i'll get a " big head " from too much of it. But when it really counts and he knows it's a serious matter he's never let me down. I guess that doesn't really help you that much, but it's a way that may help you address issue.

06-16-2005, 08:30 PM	#83 (permalink)
imperfect_anya Upright Location: nowherespecial, ca	Ok, I have a similar situation, but I've learned to turn it into a productive way. My boyfriend is not one to really compliment anyone, so if I ever get the insecure itch I ask him pointblank what he thinks. It's not that he's never complimented me or that I really need him to do it on a daily basis. So by asking him directly I've found out that he refrains from complimenting me on my looks bc he thinks i'll get a " big head " from too much of it. But when it really counts and he knows it's a serious matter he's never let me down. I guess that doesn't really help you that much, but it's a way that may help you address issue. __________________ Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?

06-14-2005, 06:51 PM	#81 (permalink)
burnRedDress Upright	Complimenting others but not complimenting you is a bit wrong but I think the frequency of compliments between partners matters differently to different individuals & you can't assume that "frequently" is always considered a good thing. I personally have a partner that compliments me on a daily basis & I HATE it. "Why?" you ask? Because it loses its meaning. It loses it's logic. It reminds me of a friend I had that would always say "thankyou". At first I thought she was exceptionally polite, but as time went on I realised she had almost been conditioned to say "thankyou" at all costs. I realised that saying "thankyou" had become an automated response and thus its meaning had become worthless - there was no "thanks" in the heart. I'd rather be told I look attractive because I had "dressed up" for an occasion, than to be told such a thing, by default, on a daily basis "just because".